Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

A/N: Hey… sorry I made you guys had to wait so long… just saw New Moon aka I'm on a Carlisle Kick (He was so cute) explaining the fluffiness of the chapter…so short, but at least it's a start of getting back into it... Read. Enjoy. Review… :)

Starlight

Chapter Ten – Trying

The next few days were almost normal. We spent time in the jungle and on the beach, but mostly we just hang around. We did everything we used to do, with a lot less flirting involved. I could tell she was trying to make it easier on me, but it wasn't all that much help. Mostly I just felt guilty about it though, I sort of wished Nahuel hadn't said anything, but then again, I was a little grateful. I still wasn't sleeping in the bed with her at night.

"I love you," I said as we walked, hand in hand down the beach in the very late afternoon, and she stopped.

"I love you too," she said, as if she was reassuring me, she looked lovingly into my eyes as she put her hand on my cheek.

"Thank-you," I said and she went up on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Did you forget?" she asked, the tip of her nose was touching mine.

"No," I said, "It's just nice to be reminded."

"Well then allow me to remind you," she said, kissing me with all the same passion and enthusiasm as always.

"I am so in love you," I whispered as she pulled away.

I used my hand to gently caress her cheek as I kissed her forehead, letting my lips linger over her warm forehead. It seemed a little warmer than usual, and my medical mind kicking into overdrive. The slight temperature went right through my head, going through the maze of diagnosis. I quickly registered that it was just a simple fever, and would most likely go away with sleep as she was showing no other symptoms.

"I should get you back to the house," I whispered as my head fell onto her shoulder and she nodded as she turned her head to kiss my ear lightly.

"Ok," she said, "I'm feeling kind of queasy, do we have to run?"

"We should," I said, looking around, it was starting to get dark, "I'll carry you, bridal style, but we really don't have to if you don't want to."

"No, it's ok," said Bella, wrapping her arms up around my neck and jumping up into my arms.

She laid her head against my chest, kissing my chest through my shirt. I smiled as I leaned down and kissed her head. I waited until she had her eyes closed and her head pressed against my chest before I started running. I ran as fast as I could, experience told me that running faster was like ripping off the band-aid with Bella. Make it as quick as possible, and the wind will cool down her fever while I'm running anyways.

"Ok, Bella, darling," I said as I set her down on her bed, kissing her forehead sweetly, pulling the covers up around.

"Mmm," she said, leaning up and kissing me, "I'm tired."

"Yeah," I said, "I believe you have a little fever, it should be gone by morning. I'm going to grab you some Benadryl ok?"

"Ok," she said, her eye lids were heavy as I ran out into the kitchen to grab the Benadryl and a glass of water.

"Here," I said, sitting on the edge of her bed.

I handed her the water and propped her up onto her pillows so that she was sitting up. I handed her the pills with a kiss to her cheek. She was a little warmer, the fever was getting worse. She downed the pills along with her full glass of water.

"I really don't feel good," said Bella and I nodded.

"I know," I said, taking her glass from her hand, "Are you thirsty?"

"No," she said.

"Hungry?" I asked and she shook her head, "Is there anything I can get you, my love?"

"No," said Bella and I stood up, ready to leave the room, but she grabbed my arm, "Stay with me, Carlisle?"

"Babe…"

"Please?" she asked and I could hear the plea in her voice, which was what made me turn around, "Carlisle, my head feels like it's going to explode, and I feel like I'm going to throw up. Please?"

"I'll stay until you fall asleep," I said, walking back over to her, and climbing into bed with her and cuddling her close.

"Carlisle, you're being ridiculous," said Bella and I kissed her head.

"I'll stay," I said, as I kissed the main vein running down her neck, trying to cool her down a little, her fever was still moderate, a thermometer wouldn't even notice it.

"That feels nice," she murmured as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I smiled with my lips pressed against her neck, rubbing careful circles on her hip, trying to sooth her. I could hear the blood pumping especially hard through her skull and I wished I could do something for her, but I knew the best thing was to just let her body take care of it. She was probably just over tired, I had been dragging her all over the island for the past few days and it was finally catching up to her.

I kept her close all night, monitoring her fever, which didn't rise to any extremity that needed extra caring for. It was something she needed to sleep off, not medicate. It was the hardest thing a doctor ever had to do, stand by and do nothing, and in this case it was especially hard because of my affections for her.

Even though I didn't sleep at night, I tended to zone out a bit. I would just zone out looking at a portion of the ceiling, allowing my brain rest from all the stuff that runs through it, but Bella never truly left my mind, metaphorically or literally speaking. I worried about her constantly, especially lately.

"Carlisle?" Bella murmured as the first ray of sun came through the window.

"I'm here," I reassured her, kissing her good morning as she woke.

"I wake up calling your name every morning," she said, and I looked at her curiously, intrigued and waiting for her to continue, "It hurts when you aren't here to answer."

I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say, and I had no idea how to say it. I knew what she wanted to hear, she wanted to hear that I wouldn't sleep on the couch ever again. That wasn't a promise I could make to her. I could not make a promise to her that I had no intentions of keeping. I sat up, stretching in the sunlight.

She sat up and wrapped her arms around my neck from behind, kissing the crook of my neck.

"I love you," I said, turning to look her in her face, "That is all I can offer you as it will never change. I don't know everything, which may come as a shock to you, but I will never stop loving you. I can't promise that we'll never be apart, or that I will always be there in the morning for you, but I will always care and feel bad that I am not."

"That's all I ask," she said as she leaned in and touched her lips tentatively to mine.