Beyond kicks him out when he tries to stay the night.
"We both know how this is going to go down, no point in getting close to me," he says, pushing L off him. "Think of me as the serial killer, the rapist. It'll make it easier. Try and find out how long I've got, if you can. I'll go to Misa now, but there's probably no point in spying if I haven't got long. Like you said, the deaths have been stalling. It'll be weeks, at least, before the next one. Also, it'd be good if I had some time to find someone for Chacha."
"But- "
Beyond pushes him towards the door.
"Get out, L."
There's something off about Light when he gets back. L doesn't think it's just the anger at their decision to burn the death notes. If anything, he should be relieved. And he's not only angry. He has done something. Something has just recently got to him. He would have got over what happened with Beyond last night, would mask his feelings better. After what L feels will be their final meeting, their final important one, anyway, L takes Light up on the roof, away from the cameras, and just looks at him.
Light puts his hands in his pockets, leans on the door, and waits him out.
L sighs. "I don't have any hidden microphone on me, and there's nobody watching."
Light rolls his eyes, like he saw it coming. "I'm not confessing, L, you're wasting your time."
"Do you believe me?"
"I don't care."
"There's nothing you want to say to me before we do this, nothing at all? Just between us?" He looks at Light and waits.
"Why didn't you tell me who he is?"
L's eyes widen. He wasn't expecting this. Then he answers steadily, "You know who he is. He told me what happened."
"That's not what I mean. Why didn't you tell me it was him, it was Beyond Birthday, who that did that to you?" He lifts his head to look L in the eye. "Why did you tell everyone else that Beyond Birthday did that to you but not tell me?"
He sinks in on himself as he wonders, dully, how Light figured it out. Light could maybe let Beyond's crimes slide as a murderer, for now, but not as L's attacker. There was no way. He'd been awake all night clinging to the tiny, tiny hope that Light hadn't had a chance to write his name, that they'd just burn the notes and it would be done. But of course, it's not the notes that are the problem. It's Misa, it's the scrap pages. And Light will have given her his orders on learning L's attacker.
"I thought he was your friend," Light says now, in disgust. "What were you thinking, bringing him here?"
"I wanted to end it," L snaps, before he can stop himself. He takes a breath before continuing, drawls on. "Don't you get it, Light? Writing those fake rules was the stupidest thing you could have done. You should be glad Beyond told us they were fake, because burning the notes is the only hope you've got. And I want to do it. I don't want to win. I just want it to be over. That's why I brought Beyond here. I got so desperate, I would do anything to end it all faster. Are you happy now?"
Light is glaring at him. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I'm not- "
"When this is over," L cuts him off, as blandly as he is able. "When we burn the death notes and you're free, I'm never speaking to you again. I don't know how you feel about that. I have no idea what was real in all of your stories, but I was hoping we could be friends. I was hoping we could work together, despite everything."
"L- "
"So tell the truth right now or we're done."
"L," he snaps again. "You can't force a confession out of me to convict me."
"I don't want to convict you. I told you. You just have to tell me when Beyond's going to die, because I'm the one who has to take care of it, because I'm the only one left." He has to turn away.
"I thought he was blackmailing you." Light says it so quietly, L almost thinks he misheard him. "I could see you were uncomfortable with him. And then when I realised he was the one who did that to you, and that he wasn't even in jail…You didn't even have Watari to look out for you. What was I supposed to do?"
"You were trying to kill me," L says, with contempt. "And your logic is that you couldn't let someone else do it for you?"
"I thought he was hurting you," Light snaps. "We didn't need him here. You didn't need his help and neither did I. You should never have brought him. And I couldn't kill you. I couldn't. That's why we're here."
"We're here because you've lost, Kira."
Light shakes his head, ignoring this. "I thought you were getting hurt."
"He's my friend."
"Friend," he repeats in disgust. "What's wrong with you? Have you not heard of Stockholm Syndrome?"
"You don't understand," L sits on the floor to draw up his legs, hugs them. "Don't you see? This is why you can't have the death note, why no-one can. It's not as simple as that. It never is."
Light doesn't seem to be listening. He is pacing above L. "Another thing," he says, and L looks up at him dully. "About my planning on killing you. I wasn't going to tell you, but as it's all out in the open now, you're probably recording every word, I may as well."
L opens his mouth to argue, but Light ploughs on.
"After our little run in at the coffee shop, I looked up male British tennis champions in the past ten years. Lawli is an unusual nickname, after all, and L. Lawliet was the only name that fit. I assume it was spelt right, but I don't know for sure, because I never wrote it."
L says nothing. He is staring at his feet. He has lost. He has not only lost Watari and countless others, but he has lost completely.
Light seems to be waiting for a response. He kneels opposite L on the ground and picks his face up, cupping his hands around him."Did you hear me? I could have killed you all this time and I didn't."
"Yes." L leans back, almost as an afterthought. Light lets his hands fall away.
"Well?" Light's voice hitches.
"Can you write everything down?"
"What?" He stares at him. "You want a written confession?"
"No," he says, and means it. "For when we burn them and you lose your memories. Just for yourself. And for me. I won't be able to talk to you if you think I was torturing you all this time for nothing."
Light stares at him. "That's it?"
L says nothing. He is thinking about Beyond. It doesn't hurt the way Naomi's death had, let alone Watari's, but it grips harder than he expected. It hadn't sunk in until now that Beyond was going to die. L hadn't been comfortable around him, hadn't even liked him that much, but wonders if he could have got past that, given time. Been his friend. Hhe suspects he could have.
"I didn't kill Watari," Light blurts. "I don't know how to prove it, but I didn't. Misa never saw him, either. I don't know his real name."
"You know it was late stage cancer," L drones. "Unless you figured out his name a long time ago, which I doubt, you couldn't have killed him like that."
"That's right." His hand covers L's. "I was just making sure you knew. L, for the others, I was doing what I thought was right."
"I know." L takes his hand away. "If you or Misa have any scrap pages, please burn those too."
"Did you mean what you said?"
L looks at him. "Did you?"
He frowns. "Which part?"
"I don't know. Everything and anything you've ever said, ever? Did you mean any of it?"
"L," he sighs.
"How did you find out?"
It takes Light a moment to get his meaning. "I've been hacking into the files on Beyond Birthday every day. I knew something was up when his name was in the paper as a heart attack I hadn't written. Then my Father updated them this morning with what he did to you. How his arrest was suspended so he can help."
L closes his eyes. Of course, with the notes being burnt, with the murders dwindling, of course Soichiro was going to update the files. He is meticulous like that. L should have known. Beyond is going to die because of his stupidity. "Tell me when he's going to die."
"Why do you care about him so much?"
L doesn't look up. Why does he? Because Beyond is his only friend left? Because he makes L accepted as a freak? Or had he really just felt guilty all along for the state Beyond was in, for A, for all of it?
Light sighs, takes out his phone. "I'll call Misa back. I only just told her to do it."
Of course he had.
L listens, dully, to his end of the conversation, and Light can't quite meet his eyes when he hangs up.
"I'm sorry, L," he says, like L knew he would. "I was upset when I told her to do it. I wasn't thinking. I didn't tell her to set a later date. She just wrote it."
L's mouth curls. Beyond is dead because he was stupid, and because Light was upset.
Light holds out a hand to him. "I'm sorry," he says again.
He feels sick. All along he was with Beyond wishing it were Light, not trusting him, and it should have been the other way round. What's worse is that he still feels the same. Getting to burn the death notes is merely his consolation prize.
Light pulls him into a hug, and L lets him. He is too numb to care.