So here's the next chapter!! I hope you are happy with my story so far!! I really just want you to: Enjoy!
Chapter 10:
"Cemetery: Amidamaru's Death"
I woke up and looked at my clock, "10:00? Wow, I slept in." Well, at least for me that was sleeping in. Usually I would awake from Horo and Pirika's fighting, but there was none. Have they finally stopped?
I gathered my things and headed for the bathroom. I think I'll go to the cemetery early today, that way if Yoh stops by, I won't have to kick him out. I stopped in my tracks.
Yoh.
I was thinking about him a lot. I didn't even realize how much I was thinking about him until now. Last night I was trying to determine what I was feelings toward him. I don't know what love is, but this might be it.
I finally reached the bathroom and I got a weird feeling in my stomach just thinking about love. I was so confused…my head was telling me, 'No, this isn't love, you're just fooling yourself.' While my heart was saying, 'Yes, this is love.'
I entered the shower and turned the water on. I shook my head, maybe I'm just thinking too much. Maybe I was in love and my head just wants me to be cautious, or I wasn't in love and my heart was just hoping. If I was in love, I'd have to tell him……I'd have to say that I was on the verge of dying and we shouldn't see each other anymore…but if I wasn't in love, I wouldn't have to tell him and we can just keep on pretending that nothing was wrong.
No. That was wrong. He'd be heartbroken if I didn't tell him. Then again, if we weren't in love, it wouldn't hurt him so much. Today. If I see him today, I'll try to figure out if I'm in love or not. If I am, I'll tell him……if I'm not……I don't know what I'll do. I guess just act like normal. He probably doesn't even love me anyway.
I'm just someone to help ease his pain…someone he can relate to. But sometimes…I have to stop and think, am I helping him, or is he helping me? Without him, I would have never experienced what I'm feeling now. Even as a child, I had a calm and somewhat cold personality……but now, I smile. Without even realizing it, I smile; just thinking about him is making me smile right now!
Yoh Asakura, what have you done to me?
I got out of the shower, I had a day off and I finally got the chance to blow-dry my hair. Once I was done with that, I grabbed my jacket and headed out to the cemetery.
"Where are you going, Anna-chan?" Mrs. Hino smiled, "The cemetery?"
"Yes," I said, "That way I have more time later."
"To talk to Yoh-kun?" She smiled.
I couldn't help but smile; it was the truth, so I answered, "Yes."
"You keep denying it, Anna-chan, but I think you two might like each other," Mrs. Hino smiled.
I smiled, "Maybe."
"Probably," she smiled, "Now you should go before Yoh-kun gets here!"
"Ja ne," I said as I turned to leave. I opened the door and got ready to go to the flower shop.
"Anna!!!!" I looked up to see Yoh running up to me.
"Hey, Yoh," I smiled, "I'm just on my way to the cemetery—"
"Could I go with you?"
"What?" He wanted to go with me? I never let anyone go with me.
"Please," Yoh had the saddest eyes, "After we visit your parents, will you help me get courage to visit Amidamaru's grave?"
After looking at his sad eyes I asked, "Are you ready?" Hmph……to actually let if him go…..I must be getting soft.
"Yes," he said rather slowly and without moving.
"Then let's go!" I turned my tone to more demanding, "I want to go before it rains!!!!"
I smiled while he looked a bit confused, "You always say that, and it has rained yet."
"Good!"
"You don't like the rain?" He turned to me.
"No, I love the rain!" I gave a sad smile, "It's just that Mrs. Hino won't let me go out to the cemetery when it rains, I have to go before it does. See, the murder happened when it was raining, and she's afraid it would bring back my horrible memories." All that was true, but I left out the part about my health.
Yoh nodded, letting me know that he understood as we came to a stop at the flower shop, "I hope you don't mind. You should probably get Amidamaru flowers too."
Yoh followed me into the shop, "But I don't know what kind of flower he likes!"
"So?" I picked up the bouquet that I usually get for my family, "Get him a variety bouquet. See, my mom likes lilies and my dad and brother don't really care for flowers so I get them a variety."
"What kinds of flowers do you like, Anna?" He asked me while picking up a bouquet that had a dark variety of flowers.
"White roses," I said while I paid for my bouquet.
"Not red?" After I paid, he did too.
"Nope, white," I stopped and smiled as I saw a bouquet of them, "See, my parents bought me a white bandana because white and black were my favorite colors. But you see, white never just stays white."
"Really? White and black are your favorite colors?"
"Yup," I started out the door, "Pretty boring, huh?"
"I don't think it's boring," Yoh smiled at me, "I just thought your favorite colors were black and red because you wear them everyday."
"Well, I would be wearing black and white everyday," I gave a sad smile, "But I like red too."
"Do you know what my favorite color is?" It sounded like he was challenging me.
"Let me guess," as I looked at him, only one color stood out, "Orange."
He smiled at me, "Correct, but how did you know when only one color I wear is red."
"That's why," I smiled, "Amidamaru gave you those orange head-phones, usually when someone close to you gets you something, they give you your favorite color."
Yoh smiled, but as we continued to walk his smile slowly faded into a sad one, "Will you leave me orange flowers?"
"Sure," I looked to him, "But why do you think you'll die first?"
"'Cause I'm older," he gave a somewhat goofy smile.
"How do you know? How old are you?" I already knew that he was older than me, but being older doesn't mean you'll die first.
"I'm 16, going on 17," he looked toward me, "You're 16, right?"
"Older ones don't always go first," I was supposed to die first in my family, so it wasn't just because you're young you live longer. Also, whenever I think about older ones dying first, it reminded me of my family.
"I'm sorry……" He must've realized that it made me remember them.
"You have a terrible memory."
"Tell me about it," he said sarcastically.
There was a question itching at the back of my mind……I just had to ask it, "Will……you……visit my grave?"
"Of course!" He gave me that genuine smile, and I knew he meant it.
Soon we reached the cemetery and I made my way to my family's graves. I carefully set the flowers down and closed my eyes to say a few words.
'Hey, how are you guys?' I'd always say something like that so it actually felt like I was talking to them. I also didn't want to take too long because I knew Yoh was there, and if I talked to long, my eyes might start to water……and I hate it when other people see me cry. So I said what I usually say but this time more to the point, 'I hope you guys are having fun and getting the life you deserve. I miss and love you with all my heart.'
I opened my eyes and stared at the graves. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Yoh with his eyes closed. It made me happy to see that he at least attempted to talk to them. Soon he opened his eyes and I said, "I'll be buried next to my brother."
"But, um," he seemed to hesitate, "What if you get married?"
"Hm," I turned to look at him, "I never thought I would get married."
He must have heard it a different way because then he asked, "You don't want to?"
"No, I said I never thought I would."
"Why?" If only he knew……
"Who would want to marry the 'Misery Chick'?" I was called that sometimes by Horo.
"I……--" Yoh mumbled something that sounded like he was going to say "I would" but, no, I don't think he said that…did he?
"I know a few," he said rather quickly……maybe he didn't say it? "Besides, who calls you the 'Misery Chick'?"
"Some teens at the inn," I rolled my eyes, Horo and Ren namely, "Besides I never thought I'd live that long anyway."
"Why not?"
"……" I debated in my head whether to tell him or not, I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.
"Right," Yoh looked sadly at me, "You used to cut. So did Amidamaru, he was suicidal."
I wasn't really all too shocked that he was suicidal……most kids are when they're this age. The thing that did surprise me was that he actually did cut, "Where's his grave?"
"Over here," Yoh started to walk away, but before I left, I kissed the names on the gravestones and then followed Yoh
Once there I looked at the gravestone, it had a blurry picture of a boy, "Is that Amidamaru's picture?"
"Yup, that's him," Yoh gave a sad smile.
"First say a prayer, or just talk to him."
"But what……" Yoh started to blink, "What would I say?"
"Anything," I shrugged, "Say, 'Hey, How are you?' or 'How's Heaven?' or whatever you guys talk about. You don't really hear them talking back, but deep down you know the answer and what they'll say next."
Yoh finally decided to close his eyes and I did too out of respect. I said a little prayer for him and for him to rest in peace.
"H-he," Yoh tried to choke out, "He committed suicide."
My eyes snapped open to see him crying, "What?"
He didn't look at me, he just slowly sat down and placed the flowers onto the ground, "After he died, I felt as though it was my fault."
"But it's not your fault," I sat down next to him; I didn't know that this was that bad, "He chose to do it."
"But I couldn't stop him," he cried more, "Like you, I was right there."
I felt so sad……It was like I was feeling his sadness, he went through almost the same thing I did. I wrapped my arms around him in an embrace, "Please, tell me what happened."
Yoh sniffed and wiped his tears away and nodded, "I-it all started when I was worried about Amidamaru……he had been more moody than ever. More and more cuts had appeared on his arms……and his parents had just left for the weekend……I knew something was up……"
I knew what was coming up; Yoh had closed his eyes……as sign that he was lost in his memories. I almost wanted to tell him to open his eyes so he wouldn't have to go through it again, but instead I hugged him tighter to let him know I was there.
"I went to his house and it was all dark, so I turned on the lights and there was his suicide note……it said something like how he was tried of this world……he even thanked me for being his friend……b-but if I was a good friend, why was he doing this?"
Now there's a question that everyone asks when their friend commits suicide……tears trickled down Yoh's cheek as he struggled to continue.
"I-I heard a noise coming from another room, like a chair falling, so I rushed over there. There he was………Amidamaru was hanging from a rope tied onto the fan. I grabbed his legs and pushed him up. I called his name and told him to stop, but he disagreed and told me that it had nothing to do with me. But it had everything to do with me!!! He had no idea how it would affect me!! He told me to find other friends just like you did, Anna, but I disagreed, I said the same as I did before 'I don't want others, I want you'.
"Amidamaru struggled and kicked my chin. I fell to the floor and was paralyzed from the blow. He must've hit something because it took me a while to get up……By the time I got my body to move," He opened his eyes and rubbed his chin, "It was already too late."
I looked at Yoh; tears were rapidly falling from his eyes. He closed his eyes; I know that this was hard for him. I never expected that Amidamaru's death was this horrible. His friend had chosen to die, and Yoh thought that it was all his fault, not to mention, Yoh saw it all happen. I pulled him closer to me and let him cry onto my chest. I stroked his hair, and all I could think to say is: "I'm sorry."
He cried for a little while and finally got up and wiped his eyes, "You remind me of him. You said the same things like 'You'll make other friends'."
I smirked, "And you gave the same stubborn answer: 'I don't want other friends!'" Yoh gave me a smile.
"But, Yoh," I looked at him rather sadly, "Please make other friends."
Yoh frowned, "You don't want to be my friend anymore?"
"Yoh," I smiled slightly, "Of course I'll stay your friend, it's just, it's not a crime to get more than one friend."
"What about you?"
"I like to think of the people at the inn as my friends."
"Even if they call you Misery Chick?"
"Even that," I smiled, "Friends make fun of each other a lot, right?" I patted his head to prove my statement.
"Anna!" Yoh broke out of my embrace and glared at me, "I told you I don't like that!"
I smiled at the face he was making, it was so………adorable……I don't know why…… it just seemed that way. Maybe……maybe I was in love……maybe, just maybe we were in love. Maybe I will tell him……just not here, "Let's go to the docks."
"Sure," Yoh smiled as I got up. I started to walk, and saw him slowly get up. He stared at the grave and a sad smile spread across his face. He stared at the grave for a while; I wonder what he's saying?
I gave a slight smile, but then I noticed it was getting late and we couldn't spend too much time here anymore so I started to walk away, "Yoh!"
Yoh hurriedly came to my side as I asked, "Will you come back with me tomorrow?"
"Of course," he smiled as we walked together to the docks.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
How was that? I hope it was good. Please Review, I'm not feeling too happy right now and that will really cheer me up. I hope my mood hasn't affected my writing and I hope that this chapter was to your liking. I'll update soon if you review! Until Next Time
Ja ne
