A/N - I'm sorry I haven't posted this weekend, I have been ill and have exams. But I will continue.

Disclaimer - I still do not own Divergent or Insurgent.

Chapter 10

The two next days went by really fast. Just kind of waiting to leave, face Tobias' fear. I know it's pathetic, but I'm just afraid of how he will take it. Seeing a man who has abused you for so many years has got to be scary. Tobias' however seems to be unaffected by the fact that in only a few hours he will facing Marus freaking Eaton. Somehow it calms me down, I don't know how to handle a scared Four. If that is even possible.

We are lying on the bed. Tobias' hands are situated at my waist. His whole sleeping body is relaxed. Yet the shallowness of his breaths are telling me diffrently. Suggesting nightmears. Also his heartbeat is scary. Fast against my ear.

"Hey, Tobias it's okay. Wake up. I'm here" I shake him awake. Not liking seeing him in pain.

"Uh...Tris? What happend?" He replies after a while sluggish from sleeping.

"You had a nightmear, I assume. Were you dreaming about Marus hitting you again?" He seems to think for a while, remembering the dream. Then is face hardens. Eyes deadly angry.

"Something like that." Sudently he seems wide awake. Not a trace of tierdness left in his voice. "Then what happend? Talk to me Tobias"

He sighs, knowing I won't let it go. "You" he mumbles. "What?" "You. He wasn't hitting me he hit you" At my waist his hands were trembling with anger and fear.

In that moment I realised Tobias' worst fear was not his worst fear anymore. Our reationship did not only affect friday nights and sleeping together. I had now become his weakest point. Easyest to hurt him trough me.

The same went for him. He was both my strong and weak spot.

This fact scares me. It means that whatever I do Tobias is a part of it somehow. Also it means I am a easyer target.

"I am going to go through my fear landscape" Tobias stated matter-of-factly. He did this whenever he felt weak. Facing his fear to feel strong.

"Should I go with you?" he paused for a moment thinking, then took my hand pulled me close and kissed me.

"Yes, please. Thank you Tris. Now go get ready" I smiled and jumped in the shower.

So far down. If we fall we will defidently die. No we won't it's just a simulation. Not real. "Remember, it's not real. Take my hand and jump on three. Ok?" he took my hand and slowly nodded.

"One." I yell.

"Two" His hand clutching mine harder.

"Three" With a leap we jumped off.

For me it was a rush. Actually fun, reminded me of why I chose Dauntless. Tobias on the other hand is having a hard time catching his breath. Like he just ran a marathon. Next, what comes after the jump?

Oh right. Box.

As the walls of the invisible box pushed me closer to Tobias, I turned around. Sliding my hands around his neck. Standing on my toes pressing my lips to his for a while. My action seems to relax him a bit, because he puts his hand on the small of my back pulling me to him.

"Why is your heart racing Tris" Even though his voice is shacky I can see him smile.

"That is all you Tobias." he smiles, so cute and innocent. "But we need to sit down to get out of this box. I'm sorry." when I say this the grin falls of his face.

Inside a little invisible there are sitting a boy and a girl. She is sitting on top of him. It must not help with his fear.

After a while the box seems to collapse.

I haven't been in his fear landscape since the first time, but it is just like then. Grabbing every fear it can catch. Not really succeeding in making it as bad.

Like these fears are Tobias' worst, yet they only mildly scare him. He can still face them every day.

I think that untill now. Untill I see the look in his eyes. Broken. He falls down on the floor. Not being able to move. His eyes are frozen on something in the other side of the room.

Blue eyes meet mine. Not deep beautiful like Tobias', but light like mine. Actually they are mine.

Then I remember this fear. He had to kill the face-less woman. Taken her place there is a me. He has to shoot me.

Turns out the fear landscape has grasped what I thought about this morning. A real, truly frightening one.

Tobias is sitting as far away from simulation me as possible. Turned with his back to both me and me. Shaking. It hurts me seeing him, but he has to shoot me or calm down. At this moment I don't think he is going either.

"Tobias you need to either calm down or kill the simulation" I whisper when I get closer to him.

"I can't shoot. It's you Tris. I can't kill you" Tears are streaming down his face. He looks so vulnerable. So hurt. I don't like him like this. I like the strong Tobias that always is there for me.

I take his hand. Help him up and look him in the eye. "I know, but it's not real. I'm here" when I say here I squeeze his hand.

For what seems like ages he just stands there fumbling with the gun that appeard in his hand.

"I can't do it Tris. I will not kill you. I can just calm my heartbeat." the gun drops on the ground and in this moment I don't know what to feel. My boyfriend was just forced to kill a fake me, but he didn't. Then after my moment of confusion I run in his arms.

I'm glad he did not kill me. Even though I don't like being his weakness. His face is burried in my hair.

Standing like this calms him down. Having me in his arms and not slumped dead on the ground. Soon the simulation moves on.

Marcus is next. Exactly the same as the last time. Compared to having to kill me dealing with Marcus is a picnic.

Tobias gets through it with scared faces and protecting me. I still don't get it. He is protecting me from his father, who hurt him. But after what I saw in the other fear it sould not suprise me.

When the room turns back into the grey concrete one he hugs me so tight I almost can't breathe. My arms are wraped around him hanging on with the same amount of strenght. "It's okay, it is not real. Just a simulation" I whisper in his ear.

"I know, but the one with you. It felt real. And the one with Marcus today is the first time I see him in more that two years" he answers. Because of me. I add silently

I am the reason he is petrified right now.

All my fault.

Thank you for reading. Please comment.