Winter 2020

Ursa had discovered that despite the wondrous joy of her coming cub, despite the wonderful feeling of feeling it kick and squirm inside of her and yes, the wonderful feelings associated with the realization she was going to have another child soon, pregnancy had its downsides.

For one, she had progressed in her pregnancy enough that in another month, the baby would not count as premature. As such, her belly had grown enough to make her feel a bit like a beached whale at times. Her old clothes didn't fit any longer.

The many gummies in the region, as well as across the dimension for that matter had been sending her all manner of 'maternity clothes' as they put it.

She hated all of them, though she appreciated the effort and thought. Everything sent to her had bright colors and were mainly long dresses and skirts, with the givers citing their own experiences or the experiences of others as to what was most comfortable. Be that as it may, they, for the most part, were not Barbic. Ursa did NOT wear dresses or skirts. Long tunics yes, but not dresses or skirts! In the winter, she went to slacks. Currently, she was cutting slits in her slacks but she was all too aware it would only last so long.

Infuriating, that was what it was! It was bad enough that she couldn't train like she wanted to. At the beginning of her pregnancy, she was still able to do a lot of her regular routine but now, she was extremely limited. She was used to a very rigid regimen and now she couldn't even do half of it. She was not about to risk her child but that didn't mean that she was happy about it.

So, while the gifts from the other clans and cities were flattering, that also served to remind her of her limitations in some manner which resulted in her being a bit crankier than she had been as of late.

The Barbic clans that had sent her things typically restricted their gifts to foods known to promote strength and livability. She embraced those. Unless you were close, personal gifts such as clothing and things like that were not usually given among Barbic clans. She was grateful for those presents as they didn't remind her of how large she was becoming!

One thing she did like about this pregnancy was that food became glorious. Everything tasted good, even things that normally should not go together. She had been keeping Grubbi busy, that was for sure and she did NOT miss his amused grin every time she requested something odd. She had attempted to cook some of them herself but as Grubbi was fond of reminding her, "You have lots of talents, girl. Cooking just ain't one of them."

That brought her to her current melancholy mood.

The Week of the Burning Stars started tomorrow. Typically, Barbics fasted the entire week before having a huge feast at the end. It was meant to show reverence to the Age of Winter and Death, Eruta and by extension, respect toward Natur for the times she intervened on their behalf. The holiday had taken special meaning for Ursa after Buddi had been pulled from Eruta's grasp when he was sixteen. Foreign clans associated the holiday with honoring death and while, yes, they celebrated when death could free one, they also celebrated its necessity and they celebrated cases where they had been spared it. The fast was meant to show respect to Eruta, to remind them of the pain of death (and the feast was meant to remind them of the release it could do) but the fast also served as a sacrifice to Natur for the times in which she froze Eruta's hand or even reversed its effects.

For Ursa, that latter bit had become so vital to her. The relief she felt when her dead sixteen year old opened his eyes, when he breathed again, when his heart beat and repaired itself…she could never describe in a million years the extent of her gratitude. So, the fast was not only important for traditional reasons but for spiritual ones as well.
This was the first year she would be denied it.

Granted, she could still watch the celebrations, the dances and certainly could participate in the feast but it just wasn't the same if you could not participate in the fast. Especially for her.

Her attention was broken from her thoughts by sounds outside her hut. She ventured outside, finding her older son dropping onto the balcony. He caught her eye and said, "Mama, I was looking for you."

"Were you?" She inquired with a tease, "What did you do?"

Rolling his eyes, he responded, "Nothin' I wanted to talk to you about the Burning Stars."

Ursa's face darkened, "Buddi, Grubbi has already talked to me about it. I'm not going to risk your brother because of it. Much as I hate not doing the fast, I won't participate if it's risky. So don't worry about it."

"It's a boy?" he asked, eyes wide. His mother shrugged, and gave a simple response,

"I'm not certain but I'm fairly sure this squirmer is a brother for you." She pulled her cloak around her shoulders a little bit, saying, "I wytiwyg="1" trust my instincts and they say it's a boy."

Buddi didn't comment on that but did say, "Well, I didn't come here to scold you on the celebrations, Mama. Grubbi and Gritti already told me that they talked to you about it."

Ursa headed inside, groaning a little to herself as her ankles protested the movement. They had been swelling more lately and she despised it. "Well, if you know Gritti and Grubbi have talked to me about it, what did you want to talk about? I'll still do the ceremonies and select the person to light up the sky. I just can't do the fast."

Buddi followed her, waited until she sat down before he said, "I wytiwyg="1" know you can't. That's why I wanted to do a Burden Carry for you."

Ursa froze and jerked her head to her son, "A wytiwyg="1" Burden Carry?" She inquired, to make sure she had heard him right, "Buddi, you're already doing the fast. A Burden Carry is asking to take on something that someone else normally wouldn't."

He shrugged, "Okay, so it's a little bit of a different Burden Carry. But if I do your usual routine AND do the fast, it'll count as you doing the fast, wouldn't it?"

Ursa honestly didn't know. A Burden Carry wasn't done often. It was usually done from a parent to a child, taking on a task that the child started and realized they could not finish on their own. Some people did it when someone was ill, asking Natur to transfer some or all of the pain to them.

"Buddi, if you're fasting, doing your duties PLUS mine…I don't want you getting sick." She remarked simply and her son rolled his eyes.

"I wytiwyg="1" won't. I can handle it. You didn't raise no weakling."

Ursa scoffed, "I wytiwyg="1" didn't think I raised one with poor grammar either…"

Buddi groaned, "Come on, Mama. I know my limits and I can do this. I'll do your usual training, I'll do mine and I'll do the fast. I can do this. I…want to help you any way I can."

"Buddi," the Barbic leader countered, rubbing one of her ankles, "You've already helped me get this baby, you've helped keep the kitchens stocked with whatever weird food I want at the moment and the nursery was finished with you doing a lot of the work. You've already helped."

Buddi pouted, drooped his ears, "I wytiwyg="1" know but I also know how important the fast has become to you. I can't carry this baby for you so at least let me do something to make you feel better." He eyed her, "You know I can't do a Burden Carry without recognition and acceptance. So…please."

The female Barbic considered this a bit longer. It really was a heartfelt gesture and it truly would count spiritually towards Natur which would alleviate some of her discomfort. All the same though, if Buddi was performing his duties and hers on top of it, that was a lot to undertake. She was all ready to say no but the way he looked at her. He wanted to take a burden from her that he could not physically take so he was trying a spiritual method. She could hardly say she was not touched.

With a hefty sigh, she locked eyes with him, ""

"Thanks Mama-"

"…But" she added, "I wytiwyg="1" want you to keep a close eye on yourself. Know your limits, hear me?"

A cheeky grin, "Isn't that what you raised me to do?"

One Week Later

The morning of the feast was always a joyous occasion. The entire atmosphere spoke of relief, spoke of release and it still was so. The night before had been alight with beauty in the sky designs, as always, Tobi had returned to perform the ritual dance and all had awoken early with the smells of Grubbi's great cooking, plus the other three cooks that poured their hearts into the traditional dishes.

Ursa had been one of the first up, followed by Sunni and Buddi. Tobi had rushed out not long after. They had hurried the kitchen together, saving the gifts for after. The Barbics with young cubs had opted to open the gifts first but for this group, food was their gift! Though, that didn't mean Ursa didn't tease her son if he wanted to do the gifts first. He took the teasing good naturedly though not without an eye roll.

Ursa was all but pushing Buddi ahead of her. He had kept his word but still, he had dropped significant weight for a week. Darn it, she should have said no! She had overheard Grubbi speaking to Buddi about toning it down a day or so ago. Apparently, he was just as stubborn as she was when it came to listening even if she had made him PROMISE to do so.

Grubbi waved them in as soon as he saw them, despite still setting some dishes out, "Go ahead." He assured them, "There'll be plenty when the others get here." He pointed right at Buddi and Ursa, "Especially you two."

Ursa didn't bother insisting Buddi to go first because she KNEW he'd refuse. She had raised him to let the "weaker" eat first and as much as she hated to admit it, in her current state, she was more vulnerable than him. Gum as her witness not for much longer!

However, Buddi was second, with Sunni insisting with a similar worried look. Ursa, despite her squirming cub demanding food (again!), was quite stern with her unborn's demands this time. To herself, and unconsciously willing it to the cub in her belly, she scolded, Your brother first this time.

That said, Ursa took her plate, took a muffin off of it and turned around, nearly shoving it completely into her son's mouth, taking him by surprise but he didn't reject it. Sunni covered her mouth and chuckled a bit as Buddi recovered and gave Ursa an annoyed glance. "Mama-"

"Don't Mama me." She replied, handing him a serving spoon, "Just eat."

Well, he certainly wasn't going to argue with that! Food, especially after the fierce regimen he had been doing for the past week. His mother's training routine had always been hard but when he was doing his own on top of hers and fasting, well, it was exhausting. He had started to sleep more in his downtime he noticed two days ago. He supposed he should have stopped doing so much but he was determined to stick to his mother's routine. He had promised her he would carry it and he meant it!

He was being very careful not to tell her about stopping mid-training run two days earlier because he felt a little off. Not dizzy per say but just a little weak in the knees. He knew that feeling a bit drained was common during the fast but Grubbi had practically dragged him into his healing hut to give him a look over. He had deemed him fine but when Buddi had headed right out towards the training field again…well…

Grubbi had chewed him a good one, reminded him that a Burden Carry meant little if you piled psychological burden in the form of worry on the person you were supposed to be relieving! He had gone on about having to worry enough about Ursa without her worrying about him.

Buddi had assured him that he would be fine for the last two days, that he had done most of the physical tasks and Grubbi essentially ended the conversation with "If I find out that you pushed yourself too far when you knew better, when I'm telling you as a HEALER not to, I don't care if you're a grandfather yourself, I will tan that hide of yours…and THEN sic your pregnant mother on you."

He didn't want to think about that. Grubbi was known for keeping his word. He also had learned that while Ursa typically let him make his own mistakes, she could be quite frightening if she felt he was in genuine danger. It was worse if he put himself into it. Even though he was grown, that part of her parental role never faded. He admitted that he was like that himself. His daughters and son were quite capable of taking care of themselves but that didn't stop him from intervening at times. Ursa was far less likely to care what it looked like than he did.

Luckily, he had managed to keep it together these last few days. After all, the day before the Night of the Burning Stars was mainly set up. The day of was fairly relaxing and now, it was time to enjoy food again! He had kept his word and Ursa's devotion to Natur was preserved. Today was a day for celebrating release!

The kitchen was soon flooded with all manner of barbics, all anxious for the tastes of that which smelled so tempting. Sunni, Buddi and Ursa sat together in one corner of the hut, with Gritti joining them when he arrived. Ursa, despite the baby in her gut making her crave the wonderful foods she had piled her plate with, set Buddi with a stern look and only began eating when he had eaten several bites already. Perhaps it was the hormones but the 'mother' in her seemed to be coming out more and more lately.

Breakfast passed without much incident and after a few servings, the child within her seemed satisfied and Ursa was satisfied that her other child had not eaten himself to a point he'd be sick nor not enough that his energy would not start returning. Gritti and Sunni had wisely not commented on it but Sunni had heard through several of the Barbics that Ursa's "mother side" had been emerging more and more. Not unexpected but she pitied her poor mate for it!

Ursa had to admit she was ready to lay down for a bit. She had gotten the 'sleepies' a little when her pregnancy first began and she was all too glad to be rid of them but it wasn't too uncommon for her to get tired more lately. Sometimes she didn't exactly sleep but rested. Especially with her stupid ankles swelling so much more lately. Grubbi had told her that she would notice that later in her pregnancy. Well, she was already sick of it.

Still, for today, it was allowable. Simply relaxing was something a lot of the Barbics did, relishing in the time to simply be with family. All the same, she felt a little bad about leaving them so soon after eating. She resolved to rest her a ankles a bit, maybe reinforce them with some bracing and return. Loosen her slacks a bit too.

She had just closed the door behind her when the door reopened and Buddi walked in, "Sorry, Mama. I'll be quick. Just wanted to give you your present really quick."

Presents. She had forgotten the exchange of gifts. Drats. She hated how absent-minded this coming cub made her sometimes. Well, all the more reason to simply reinforce her ankles and return to the celebrations.

But, that didn't mean she couldn't accept her son's present first. She took the wrapped package from him, opened it slowly. Inside, she found a pair of soft leather jerkins, but wider and there were ties at the waist, one on each side. They could be tightened or loosened as she saw fit. Finally! Comfortable clothes that she wouldn't feel like a vulnerable victim in! Leave it to her child to pick the perfect gift!

Buddi gave her a smirk, jerked his thumb at the skirts and dresses, still in their wrapping sent to her from other clans, "Those do not suit you Mama."

Ursa broke out into a smile and took her son in an embrace with a small peck to his cheek, "Well, you do know your mother. These are perfect, little leaf."

Buddi chuckled a bit, turned about so she change, asking, "I'm always going to be 'little' leaf to you, aren't I?"

Laughing, Ursa replied, "Well, is Ulisa always going to be firebird? Is Tobi always going to be little swan? Warrio always going to be squirrel?"

Buddi smirked at the reminder of his children and the nicknames he had gifted each of them. "Yes."

Ursa gave him a side hug, ruffled his hair, "Then you'll be staying my little leaf. We'll see what name your brother earns for himself."

Buddi lead the way out of the door, towards the festivities, pausing to rub his mother's stomach once, stating, "Be careful little brother. Pick a good name. They stick with you."