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Chapter 10—Mixer at Kappa Psi

I'm not a slave to objectivity. I'm never quite sure what it means. And it means different things to different people.

-Peter Jennings

October 26

Tiedoll had taken them back the following evening, and Yuu had watched Lavi and Lenalee make merry in the backseat through the rearview mirror. Outwardly, everything had seemed normal, but Yuu knew better.

Lavi was lighter than usual—happier, brighter—and Yuu hoped (not that he would tell anyone) that it had everything to do with his promise.

And he always kept his promises. He hadn't told Lavi that, but it was enough for him to know it. So far since Fall Break, Bookman had visited once, but he hadn't stayed longer than it took to give Lavi his new logbooks and shoot a hateful glare at the Japanese boy.

At the moment, the idiot was sprawled next to him on his bed, feet on the wall by the headboard, right arm hanging like a limp piece of idiot off the side. All in all it was all quiet on the dorm front.

Then there was a mighty pounding on the door. Lavi lazily raised his head, then put it back down on the blankets a moment later.

"You get it, Yuu-chan, I'm too comfy," the redhead mumbled.

With a scoff, Yuu got up and walked to the door. Upon answering it, he was pushed to the side by Lizzie, who slammed the door after her entrance.

"The fuck?" Yuu asked at the brunette, who was out of breath and red-faced.

"You guys have to hide me from my mom! She wants me to quit school and join a convent!" She exclaimed.

Well, that was something Yuu hadn't heard before.

"Why a convent?" Lavi asked from his upside-down position on the bed.

"She thinks I'm unholy just because she stalked my Facebook page and saw my bellybutton piercing," Lizzie replied, making a face. After a moment of thought, she added, "The picture of me drinking from a beer bong didn't help, either."

Lavi snorted but adjusted himself so that he wasn't taking up the entire bed. With his left hand, he patted the spot next to his head, and Lizzie took the cue and sat down.

"Well don't worry, Lizzie! We'll hide ya."

"Thanks, Lavi!"

They sat in silence for a moment, with Lavi nearly humming in excitement. The second Lizzie had entered the room, he'd pulled on his annoying-ass persona with a degree of skill Yuu had never seen him obtain before the past week. It had been the same way when Bookman had come to visit.

They'd been in the room, sitting side-by-side on his bed with the tips of their fingers barely touching. Lavi probably didn't notice their proximity, but Yuu was only too conscious of it. His hand felt like it was being jolted with a constant stream of lightning. Any moment now, his hair would start standing up from the flow of electricity.

It was stupid of him to think that way, but he just couldn't control his thoughts anymore. He wanted to grab hold of Lavi's hand properly—none of this sorta-kinda shit. But Lavi only wanted someone to cling to, just a friend who he could hold onto so that he could be anchored to something real while he changed. That was why he wasn't backing away now, pulling his hand far from Lavi's so as not to make his best friend think he was interested in him. Even if he was. Even if he desperately wanted those feelings returned.

An abrupt knock—two slow, rhythmic pulses—cut him away from his moronic thoughts. Just as abruptly, Lavi's soft expression lost its extreme elasticity and hardened into a perfect mask of annoying idiot. A bright, happy smile lit his face but not his eye. Even before, the expression had never reached that fucking green thing.

"C'mon in, Panda!" Lavi called, sounding legitimately happy to hear his Master and abuser on the other end. Naturally, the idiot didn't think of it as abuse, but Yuu had been through too much of that not to understand what Lavi couldn't. No one came back that hurt from a simple spanking. Bookman simply went too far, whether it was actually him or someone else doing his dirty work.

"Hello, Lavi," Bookman replied once the door had been opened. He gave his apprentice a once over and then, seeming satisfied, walked over to the starting-to-get-decrepit box labeled "Bookman shit." Pulling the two notebooks Lavi had filled in the past week out of the box, the old man flipped through them. He frowned in a contemplative manner and then nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Your logs are much better this week," he commented, moving back to the door to pat Lavi appreciatively on the head.

It sickened Yuu a little bit to see how the redhead seemed to glow with the praise, how he let Bookman touch him so easily. He should have been terrified. He should have pulled away and cowered. That was what Yuu had done. So why wasn't Lavi doing the same?

They conferred quietly, almost silently, for a while, but when Bookman left a good twenty minutes later, he'd seemed pleased enough. It was like he hadn't noticed that Lavi was slipping horribly at all.

And Lavi was slipping, Yuu had thought at the time. Even now, with Lizzie in the room, with his mask so tightly in place that there couldn't possibly be a hole, Lavi was slipping.

It was simple, really. When the pressure on a mask became too much, it would begin to crack. Those cracks would yield larger weaknesses, and then the mask would break. And then not even all the cats and rabbits in the kingdom could put it back together again.

He let his mind wander away until the only thing he was aware of was the movements of his friends on his bed. Somewhere deep in his mind, the Japanese boy knew he could trust these two not to hurt him, but years of habit were hard to fight, especially when every tiny creak of the bedsprings reminded him of exactly why he'd slept in the closet.

It was dark in there, always a pure darkness that kept away the bad people, the bad faces. The swarm of lotuses were duller, diminished, and there were no stray sounds that brought him back to the sheer pain the faces inflicted on him.

Naturally, he'd learned to sleep on a bed, but every once in a while, the sound of the springs or an accidental brush against the bed frame would set him off, and he'd invariably end up cramped inside a closet that was now too small to house him. It had been infinitely worse this year, as there was no way in hell he'd allow his roommate to understand just how weak he could be.

So weak that the faces had started to penetrate the dark worse than ever before. They'd started appearing in his sanctuary years ago, but now, they seemed to have adapted to survive—or even flourish—in the dark.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, and his eyes snapped open. He was so startled that the mattress actually bounced at his sudden, two-centimeter-high jump.

"Oh my God—I bet it's her!" Lizzie exclaimed, sounding horrified.

"Well, I gotta answer it," Lavi said reasonably. "It could be Jason or something."

"But you're hiding me! Gah—is one of your closets empty enough for me to crawl into?"

Yuu nodded and ushered her into Lavi's. Like hell he'd let her into his (used-to-be) haven.

Not surprisingly, it turned out to be her mother, who, Yuu noted with disgust, looked like an opera singer. Her hair, blonde and very obviously dyed to cover a loss in pigment, was stiff and nearly wiry-looking from all the products in it. She was fatter than a whale, her too-rouged cheeks ballooning outward like she was eating something. Though Botox had improved her wrinkle situation, a new set of laugh lines and crows' feet seemed to have taken a toll on her de-aged face. And above it all was the overpowering stench of lavender wafting threateningly into their room.

Simply put, she was not someone Yuu would ever let through the doorframe, mother of Lavi's—and his, he supposed, and wouldn't Tiedoll be proud if he found out—friend or not.

"Oh, sorry, Wagner's in the next room over," Lavi said breezily, his hand placed lightly on the door, presumably in case he needed to close it quickly.

Yuu didn't blame him. The Japanese boy got a particularly uncomfortable feeling from the woman. His mind and gut both told him not to trust her, and after all he'd been through, he'd learned to listen to both. This woman would have them both expelled just to gain access to their room while they were both out. If they let out one tiny clue that Lizzie was in the room, they'd have to fear for their lives.

But of course, Lavi was an expert liar and actor, so this would be a breeze for him.

"Excuse me?" The woman asked, her words overly dramatic in their outrage. Her voice was a deep tenor, if not lower. It sent chills up and down Yuu's back.

"Well, you seem to be a bit lost. Richard Wagner lives next door—that's who you're looking for, right?" Lavi clarified, smiling. The woman's face brightened to a magnificent crimson, and she puffed up like a blowfish. Lavi just smirked.

"I'm looking for my daughter. You may know her—Elizabeth Marie Wellington." The blowfish was now straightening her back in what was misplaced pride.

"Oh, Lizzie? Yeah, she's probably with her boyfriend right now. Skin Bolic—he's on the football team," the redhead supplied, sounding very realistically concerned and helpful.

The closet door shook almost unnoticeably, almost like it was quivering.

"She has a boyfriend?" The blowfish asked, sounding shocked. If Yuu hadn't forged very good self-control over the years, he would have snorted. As it was, a tiny, ironic smirk lifted the corners of his lips. "That little slut!" It was almost amusing how quickly the note of pride was replaced by disgust. It reminded of the seventh face. Small tremors elicited a tiny breakout of goosebumps over his arms, but he held back his reaction as best he could. Now was definitely not the time to have some kind of episode.

It was Lavi's reaction, though, that he should have been worried about. Immediately, his mask slipped away, like he'd taken it off and tossed it aside. His expression changed from amused helpfulness to a fury Yuu had never quite seen there before. His single eye, which Yuu could just barely see from his position, was emitting a crackling electricity that seemed keen on cooking the blowfish for dinner. The redhead's spine straightened threateningly. For the first time since they'd met, the Japanese boy understood just how terrifying the younger boy could be.

With a strength Yuu didn't know the other boy could house, Lavi slammed the door open into the entranceway, cracking the side of his closet with the impact. When the door rebounded, he caught it easily with his left hand. The door shook. "Don't you dare call Lizzie that," he hissed menacingly.

The woman blinked.

"Get the fuck out of here, and if you come back, I guarantee that when your body is found, the only indication that you were killed will be a solitary pinprick in one of your pressure points." His tone chilled Yuu bone-deep. Even the blowfish seemed to back down, curling into herself as she meekly took her leave, muttering something about stupid college boys. Lavi's eye flashed again.

The closet door shook again.

"You can come out now," Lavi said, taking deep breaths that the Japanese boy assumed were to calm him.

Lizzie moved just as meekly from the closet, nodded to them as she muttered her thanks, and left with a shuffling gait. As she turned toward the door, Yuu saw a dark spot at the base of her neck. It was covered very expertly with makeup, but the shade poked through the foundation like it wasn't even there. It was obviously a bruise, and Yuu understood the significance at once. He was sure Lavi had, too.

Once their guest had left, Lavi turned to his right—which was strange, because he usually didn't turn in the direction of his blind side—and walked shakingly over to where Yuu stood.

His legs gave way the moment the dark-haired boy had reached out to hold him. Yuu had never felt Lavi shake so much, like he'd been terrified by himself.

Maybe it was because he'd just reminded himself of Bookman, Yuu thought. It made sense, almost. After all, didn't his own temper remind him of the whipping face? Didn't that image scare him so much that he'd ended up spending a week in his closet?

Whatever the cause, it didn't matter, he decided. He half-carried Lavi to the bed and let the other boy cling to him until the shaking had stopped.

And no, he was definitely not enjoying the proximity.

October 28

"Yuu-kun!"

The dark-haired boy slowed down to allow his hailer to catch up. He knew that voice at once, but it was rare for Lenalee to go out of her way to find him on his way to class, which meant she must have been searching for him for a while.

When she reached his side, she pulled very lightly on his arm. It was testament to his continued healing that he didn't flinch away. He usually required a small warning—which almost invariably came in the form of a question—but now, he was able to endure her touch without so much as a peep.

"Lenalee," he greeted, nodding and adjusting his backpack, which had started falling down his shoulder. Very lightly, the Chinese girl let her hand fall into his, and they continued to walk toward his next class.

Sometimes Yuu didn't understand girls; this was one of those times. They'd held hands before, naturally, especially back when he'd first arrived in America and hadn't trusted anyone but her, but they hadn't done it in years. Yuu was pretty sure that had to do with Lenalee's longstanding crush on Allen, though.

Not that he particularly cared about them holding hands. And no, that wasn't denial, it was just solitary fact. Honestly, if he really decided to be open with himself, he knew whose hand he actually wanted in his. But he supposed Lenalee would have to suffice, especially since she was looking at him with that idiotic grin that actually reminded him of the hand-holder-he-didn't-want-to-think-about-right-now-but-in-actuality-couldn't-get-out-of-his-thoughts. It was the grin that meant she had something that she thought was epic planned and that he would be a part of its apparent epicness—most likely taking an integral role in it.

"So, do you have plans for this weekend?" She asked innocently. Immediately, Yuu was wary. Whenever Lenalee sounded innocent, it meant she had something planned. Like that time when she'd sweetly asked him to distract Komui for a few hours. She'd come back with a boy that afternoon, and he hadn't left until well into the wee hours of the morning.

"Yes, I plan to sleep while Lavi's out making a fool of himself," he answered promptly.

The Chinese girl pouted, puffing her cheeks out to complete the annoyed expression. Then, disturbingly, it slipped away, morphed into something that could only be described as sly. "Well, you remember what happened to Lavi last time he was at a party, don't you?"

"Che. It was his own fault." No, his heart was definitely not on the fringe of stopping as he remembered how Lavi had come back two weeks ago. He'd been half-hyperventilating, saying that Tyki had come up to him again—even though he hadn't gone anywhere near that particular frat house—and had tried to grope him. Tyki had sported a nice black eye for a week, but he'd played it off as a soccer injury.

Obviously, the soccer captain was becoming a problem, but Lavi had been raised to ignore such things and focus solely on his observational skills. He had no idea how to get the persistent motherfucker off his back. Naturally, Yuu did, but he was not in a position where he could help.

But he could watch over the idiot.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't want to just sit at home and let something worse happen, would you?" Lenalee said cheerfully, shooting him a bright smile. She had him, and she knew it.

Yuu sighed. There was no way he was getting out of whatever she wanted. There never had been.

"I can see from your face that you agree!" She chirped happily. The Japanese boy scowled, and she giggled. "So anyway, my Sorority's doing a mixer with Beta Lambda Upsilon for Halloween, and since it's invite only, I'm extending one to you and any friends you may want to bring."

Yuu just kept walking. He knew Lenalee wasn't finished yet. Moments later, she continued.

"Oh, so you know, you need to dress up as something or else we won't let you in!"

He didn't mean for his face to look horrified, but it did, and he couldn't really blame it for falling away from his careful control. The idea of him in a costume was absolutely horrific. Not to mention all the scantily-dressed sluts who would try to "tap" him.

"Oh, don't give me that look! The entire point is for you to let loose a little—come on, you don't even have to get drunk. But I'm picking out your costumes."

She took his silence as agreement, which it wasn't. She squealed happily and then proceeded to hug him around the middle. He'd been expecting such a reaction, so his flinch wasn't nearly as drastic as usual, and the faces didn't even try to vie for a more central part of his vision. He simply shook his head and pushed her off as gently as he could. She'd known him long enough to understand that this wasn't a rebuke, just a self-protection measure.

"I'll come by Friday to give you and Lavi your costumes. Oooh! I can't wait to go shopping! Lavi's gonna look damn sexy!"

With that, she ran off, leaving Yuu standing frozen in the middle of the quad, not entirely sure he was in the right state of mind to go to class or not. No, he had Microeconomics next. There would be no way he could concentrate now that Lenalee had put the disturbing(ly hot) image of Lavi in some kind of sexy costume—and it would be sexy, seeing as Lenalee was in charge of said costume—in his head.

What would she put Lavi in?

A vampire? No, that was too tame, even if she was a die-hard fan of those god-awful books. Knowing her, she'd even put glitter on his skin. Maybe some sort of devil, seeing as that was something she was fond of dressing the bean sprout in, but then again, that didn't fit at all.

And then he remembered the one thing she always heard him calling Lavi. That was something he did not want to think about. The idiot with rabbit ears and a tail, doing that stupid nose twitch he always did…

Ducking into the nearest hall, he made a beeline for the bathroom. Fuck Lenalee, she'd given him a nosebleed. And worse. But he'd take care of that situation once he'd stopped the first annoyance. He ripped a good length of toilet paper from the roll and jammed it up his nose. Waiting impatiently for it to stop, he tried to think of anything but Lavi in a sexed-out bunny suit.

Lenalee had taste, so he'd probably be wearing long, tight pants and a tight-fitting shirt in roughly the same hue. But dammit, he couldn't stop imagining Lavi shaking his ass rave-style in a loud, reeking room.

Only it was him that the red-haired boy was grinding against. And maybe he'd be grinding back, and it would be kind of sweaty but really good.

Ignoring the nosebleed, which was slowing down quickly anyway, he unbuckled his belt and reached into his pants. He hated fucking necessity, but he hadn't done this in a while, and with images of Lavi moving suggestively against him in an oppressive atmosphere swirling around in his lust-addled brain… well, who was he to stop nature?

Once again, images of Lavi flooded into his mind. They weren't anything special, just little flashes of his smiling face or that little nose twitch or that look he gave Yuu when his head was in his lap. Then there were little hallucinations, which invariably followed those tiny flashes. Lavi coming behind him in the stall, wrapping arms around his waist, and suddenly Yuu's hands weren't his anymore. Lavi was holding him, making the motions that were pulling ragged breaths from deep in his chest.

His pants fell to the ground as he staggered a bit. His knees were feeling a bit weak, but he needed to stay standing up. No one was here, so he was safe to do as he pleased, and he was relatively certain that if anyone came in, they'd leave right away, because now he was moaning. They were soft, panting, but they were still coming out of his mouth, and he couldn't help it, because the way he was feeling right now was heartbreakingly real.

He wanted Lavi, needed his hands to actually be there, and if he listened hard enough, his roommate's voice was whispering provocative things in his ear. Just like the faces had, only not at all, because this wasn't something they could ever encroach on.

"You like that?" Whispered Lavi's feverish voice. Yuu panted harder.

"Yes!" He hissed back.

"What if I do this?"

"Yes!" He hissed, only a bit louder.

This wasn't happening, not really, but dear God, he needed it to be. For the first time, he trusted someone to do this to him, and there was no way in fucking hell they had the capacity to love him back.

Yuu came, and his heart broke.

He cleaned himself off with clean precision, ripped the wad of toilet paper from his nose, and flushed the toilet. His legs were shaking, but it was nothing compared with the trembling of his heart.

And that was precisely why the urge to cut was becoming almost overwhelming now. He reached into his backpack, which he'd hung up on the hook on the stall door (because there was no way in hell he'd let it touch the ground in a place where people masturbated into toilets and pissed on the floors), and pulled out one of his box cutters.

The first stroke into his unblemished skin was like cold water melting away dry ice. Steam in the form of blood fell to meet the clear water of the toilet. With almost sick fascination, Yuu watched as each droplet swirled into the water and dispersed in twirling patterns, steadily dying it a rosy pink.

Today was a perpendicular day, just like most were. He was not in need of much relief, just enough to take the edge off—enough to remind him that even though he was cold as a corpse, he was still alive. And so he let himself feel just how alive he was, how each heartbeat emitted yet more steam that fell like the tears he couldn't cry to join its brethren in the toilet.

Maybe five minutes later, he was sane enough to pull out some peroxide and clean out his wound. More stinging pain led to greater mental processes, and as he sterilized his blade and slipped it back into his book bag, he felt lightheaded but slightly warmer.

It was nearly ten 'til eleven when he left, feeling marginally better than he had that morning, waking up with Lavi curled up over all his shit at the end of his bed like some fucking cat. The boy had claimed that he'd been "lonely" and had wanted "company while he slept," so he'd come over to Yuu's bed but then didn't have the "heart" to wake him up.

He decided to head back to the dorm. He didn't really need to go to Japanese, as he was fluent in the language. He could have tested out of the classes, but that felt a bit like cheating, and not wanting to learn any other languages, he'd tested down. Unfortunately, he'd ended up testing too low and was now sitting rather unproudly in Japanese 201.

He was surprised to see the object of his fantasies in the room, drooling on the dark-haired boy's pillow while curling slobbishly in Yuu's blankets.

It was blasphemy.

Insanely adorable blasphemy.

With his hair in such horrible disarray and very manly snores eschewing from his mouth, Lavi was the picture of fragile and tender. His eye patch had slipped off his eye, revealing no external injury. Yuu, unlike his roommate, was not one to pry, so he reached out and slid it back into place. And no, he didn't peel back Lavi's eyelid to see what his eye looked like. And no, he wasn't surprised when it didn't appear injured or milked over in the telltale sign of blindness. And no, he definitely wasn't curious as to why the boy wore the eye patch in the first place.

Lavi stirred but then settled again, reaching an unruly arm around Yuu's waist and trapping him in place. Sighing and telling himself that he'd move once Lavi seemed keen on waking, he sat on the edge of the bed and began absently running his fingers through Lavi's hair.

The first thing he was aware of was the pleasant, spine-tingling feeling of fingers rubbing his scalp and pulling lightly through strands of his hair. The next thing he was aware of was the hot, moist breath on his neck and the sturdy warmth of a body next to him.

Cracking his left eye open, Lavi had to turn his head to identify the body as Yuu's. The boy was seemingly zoning out, staring into the empty space of the wall to Lavi's left. The redhead stretched out a little, hoping to bring the dark-haired boy out of his trance. A little intake of breath and the focusing of charcoal eyes were the only indications that he had succeeded.

Almost at once, Yuu was scowling and pulling free, but there had been a brief moment before he'd moved when the boy's expression had shown… wistfulness?

Naturally, Yuu found it necessary to cuff him on the shoulder for "falling asleep on my bed and then pinning me to your chest, Baka."

Putting on a nervous grin and raising his hands in surrender, Lavi took the light blows without complaint. They didn't really hurt, anyway, and he'd suffered much worse, both at Yuu's hands and at others'. He cringed a bit when he switched positions on the bed and his leg—mercifully but idiotically freed from the boot at the moment so that he could sleep properly—twinged particularly painfully. Immediately, Yuu stopped attacking him.

"Anyway, Usagi, before I forget, you and I are going to Lenalee's Halloween party. She'll be by on Friday with our… costumes." The dark-haired boy spat out the last word like it was a rotten vegetable.

"Ne, what's wrong with our costumes?" Lavi asked innocently. Yuu's face went dark and the vein in his right temple began to throb, which was kind of adorable, in its own special Yuu-chan way.

"She always dresses me up as—" the boy cut himself off, blushing. It was kind of endearing how Yuu could scowl and blush simultaneously.

"As?" Lavi prompted, but Yuu shook his head in that dangerous don't-fuck-with-me way, and the redhead knew it was time to back down. He'd be wondering, though, but thankfully only for a few days. And he could suppress his natural curiosity that long, couldn't he?

"Aw, c'mon, Yuu-chan!"

Apparently not.

"No." The Japanese boy's voice was as firm and unmoving as a four meter-thick sheet of lead.

He tried being adorable, widening his eye and pulling up the blankets to cover his face. Gazing up at his prey with all the innocence of a bunny trying to endear itself to a fox, he let his lip wobble.

"No. And stop giving me that look." It was obvious that his roommate wouldn't budge.

Lavi's soul lamented.

October 30

He woke up and there was rabbit.

Curled into his side, and sleeping soundly. Why on earth he was there, nuzzling into the crook of his shoulder, looking for all the world as if he belonged in that position more than anywhere else, Yuu had no fucking clue, but he found that he really didn't mind it. But Lenalee was bound to barge in at any moment and finding them like that was out of the question because he knew she would never let him live this down.

"Oi, Lavi, wake up," Yuu mumbled, poking the rabbit in his side.

Said rabbit mumbled something in return and snuggled deeper into the recesses of his armpit.

"Lavi, wake up," he said more insistently, prodding harder into the redhead's ribcage.

Still there was no coherent response. Just dream-induced babble about not wanting bubblegum soda pop, thank you very much, Bookman.

This time he resorted to a light punch that nearly rolled Lavi off the bed. He was rewarded with a pitiful swipe at his face by the redhead's hand.

And then the idiot moved closer still. Not that Yuu was really complaining, but there was still the looming Lenalee factor and also the fact that as his roommate, Lavi was entirely off-limits. It was like the ultimate dormcest. And to make matters worse, Lavi was still a Bookman, even if he was kind of failing at it at the moment.

And then there were Yuu's feelings to consider. He wasn't sure what he felt about Lavi besides the obvious "I like you." There was something tender and malleable in his heart—and he was sure it showed on his face, too—when Lavi did cute things, an occurrence that had picked up in frequency ever since Fall Break. There were the heart-stopping, breath-taking moments when Yuu could no longer keep his body in check and would have to succumb to the decidedly sexual direction his thoughts would take.

But there was also the fear. Fear that the lotuses would hide all the desirable things he saw in Lavi, fear that the faces would eventually scare Lavi off like they did him, absolute terror that he would hurt the boy he had come to care for more than anyone. More than Okaa-san and Otou-san and Onee-san and Tiedoll and even Lenalee…

He was always petrified at the thought that he would follow the path that the faces had once taken on him. But it was possible. Wasn't it a statistic? People who suffer tend to inflict that same suffering on others. Even if Yuu dreaded being a statistic with his entire being, it was always a possibility. One can never escape statistics, that was what Onee-san had said.

Of course, she'd been a college student and had been taking a statistics course, but the logic still applied.

Yuu cleared his head and shook Lavi's shoulders. The boy let out a loud snore and startled awake.

"Eh? Yuu? What am I doing here?" Lavi asked, obviously alarmed as he looked around the room like it would give him an explanation if he just stared at it long enough.

"What are you doing here?" He asked and now that he thought about it, the question seemed all the more pressing.

"I really don't know. I… Didn't I walk in and go over to my bed…?" His roommate said, sounding confused. It was okay, Yuu was too.

"How would I know?" He said as he looked away. He knew he was blushing and very, very flustered, but Lavi was still there, still right next to him, and he'd be damned if that wasn't the redhead's hand lying very, very close to a place he'd prefer not to be touched at the moment…

The rabbit shrugged, which was an interesting feat, seeing as he was still on his side. He rolled so that he was lying prone on his back, but he was making that pouting face that set Yuu's face on fire, so the Japanese boy couldn't feel very relieved, even though the hand was no longer in close proximity.

"Anyway, what time is it? Has Lenalee stopped by yet?" The idiot chirped, getting up and thankfully getting rid of that pouty expression.

"No. And look at the bloody clock yourself." He scowled, but as always, the expression seemed to glance off Lavi like water on a windshield. Yuu sincerely wished that Lavi would just get wet already.

After several minutes of staring at each other, Lavi broke the silence with his usual eloquence.

"Was zum Teufel, Yuu?"

"Fick dich," he replied, glad that Marie had been useful for at least one thing.

Lavi frowned. "How dare you du me!" The rabbit cried in mock outrage. "I'll get my revenge, I swear!"

With a strength Yuu didn't know his roommate had in him, he pinned the dark-haired boy down and started running his fingers over his stomach. Immediately, reflexively, Yuu gasped and tensed. The only other people to touch his stomach had been the faces. And Lenalee, but she didn't count, especially when those damn faces were closing in on his vision and making him hyperventilate in a way he really didn't like. And Lavi was still running his fingers in strange, wispy patterns on his stomach, and he couldn't get free, because the idiot was taller and heavier than he was, and deargodpleaselethimgetawaynow. Please. Pleasepleaseplease.

Yuu had begged many times in his life. He'd begged for it to stop, he'd begged for the pain to lessen, he'd begged for death, even, sometimes. But right now, he was begging for Lavi to gothefuckaway, only the words were getting stuck in his throat, like they always did when people ran fingers over his stomach like that.

Except the sensation was gone. Lavi was looking at him with apology in his eye and regret in his frown.

"Yuu?" He asked tentatively. The Japanese boy blinked.

The faces were gone, replaced with the sweet, refreshing view of a concerned Lavi. This had happened many times with Lenalee, but there was something different about this time in particular. When the faces got like that, it felt like he couldn't breathe, like no matter how hard he tried to inhale, no air would come to his lungs. When he saw Lenalee, each breath in was just a little more fulfilling than the one before it. With Lavi, it was like he had been drowning in the ocean of faces and the redhead had rescued him. He felt like he was coughing in big lungfuls of air while he looked into the face of his savior.

"Yuu?" The redhead repeated. This time, the subject of Lavi's worry raised an eyebrow to indicate he was listening. "You okay?"

The Japanese boy nodded. In truth, he wasn't, but La—

"That's the biggest load of BS I've ever seen in my entire life. And as a Bookman, trust me, Yuu-chan, I've seen a shit-ton more than you."

Yuu floundered for a moment. He didn't really know how to react to that loud declaration. It made sense that Lavi could read him well, especially since he never really made an effort to hide most of what he showed to the world, but… but… this animal wasn't supposed to be able to see what he didn't want to show him.

"It's not your business."

"It is if you're gonna freak out every time I touch ya, don'tcha think?" Lavi asked. He had a point, but Yuu wouldn't concede to it, goddammit. "Ah. Whatever." The redhead sighed, and his shoulders drooped a bit as he gave up. "I'm sure whatever it was was really bad, yeah?"

The dark-haired boy could only nod.

"Will you tell me someday?"

Yuu didn't respond. He didn't need to. Lavi already knew the answer—and so did he, unfortunately. But they both had also heard the unspoken "if I'm still alive" in Lavi's question.

"Anyway… back to what I was trying to figure out, you crazy Japanese brute… you ticklish?"

"Che, only weaklings like you are." To prove his point, he reached out and twiddled his fingers along Lavi's sides. The boy squirmed and squawked at a rather amusing octave.

"Oooi, no fair!" The rabbit admonished, and he proceeded to test out the back of Yuu's neck, his sides, his foot… all along, though, Yuu realized that Lavi was giving his stomach a wide berth. It kind of hurt, but then, he understood. He was sure he'd probably yelled or cringed or maybe even cried (which would be horrific, so he really hoped that wasn't the case), so he really deserved any reluctance on Lavi's part.

He wasn't expecting his roommate to test the backs of his arms on the way to his armpits. He let out a rather unmanly squeak and tried to twist out of the redhead's exploratory hands.

Said redhead was looking particularly triumphant and more than a little smug when Yuu looked up at his stupid, annoying rabbit face.

"Ohooo! What have we here? Is Yuu-chan dearest a bit tickly-wickly on the back of his army-warmies?"

Yuu would cut that damn rabbit's balls off.

If he could only… get… the fucker… off… him. With a heave at Lavi's fat-ass body, he was suddenly in control, his fingers dancing intricate patterns on his roommate's stomach (though Lavi would probably say "tummy-wummy," idiot that he was—not that he found that endearing in any way) and sides ("sidey-widies?"). He still didn't have enough leverage, though, so he decided that the best way to get some was to push Lavi down. Yes, that would work nicely. The redhead fell into the mattress, and Yuu took that opportunity to settle between the boy's legs so that he could get a better, more disastrous angle.

The idiot was squirming as erratically as a can of worms under Yuu's hands, which he realized too late was really erotic.

Really, really erotic.

Lavi was blushing and smiling widely from laughter, the pink of his cheeks clashing garishly with his hair. His malachite eye was crinkled in deep… enjoyment?... as he made weak attempts to brush his fingers ("fingie-wingies?"—no, fuck, he would not succumb to Lavi's idiocy!) over the backs of Yuu's arms. And dear God, the way his midriff was showing…

It was scarred, but Yuu could ignore that as easily as he had once done before the Lotus had made them disappear. But the cream skin, smooth or not, that was just barely revealed by the fabric of Lavi's shirt riding up made Yuu want to lick his lips. Or something equally disturbing.

Suddenly, their faces were very, very close. And wouldn't Yuu be damned if those lips didn't look so fucking kissable. A million times he saw himself lean down and lay claim to them. A million times, he saw Lavi reciprocate, a warm tongue brushing his lips as the embrace grew more passionate.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, his brain thought it was a good idea to follow his fantasies, so he leaned down, and he was surprised when Lavi's green eye—hooded, lustful?—was coming toward him at a faster pace, as if the redhead was leaning up to meet him in the middle somewhere. Their breaths mixed, hot and moist and delicious and maybe a bit garlicy, too, what had Lavi had for dinner?

The door may have clicked open, but who really cared? Yuu's hair fanned out to hide whatever they were doing from view. Whatever they were doing. Which wasn't anything, because they still hadn't met. Why weren't they moving faster? He could feel Lavi's gaze on him, and he knew he was staring just as intensely at Lavi, and Yuu really hoped that this moment would last forever and get on with it at the same time.

And that was how Lenalee found them.

A/N: YAY! We managed to write a slightly longer chapter! :DDDDD This chapter was decidedly pronnish in nature. Everything turned out to sound horribly lewd, so we're sorry for that. But then... meh. You got your little smutlet, and Em2 got her chipotle, so we're all happy, aren't we? ;) Oh and btw Was zum Teufel means What the fuck and Fich dich means Fuck you. Lavi got upset when Yuu used the casual "du" form with him. For those of you who aren't German nerds we thought clarification was needed.