The Talk

It was the next Wednesday before Carol had an opportunity to talk with Merle. Daryl spent the weekend in town and then Merle went to Denver on Monday to buy some materials for the ranch house. He got back this morning and he'd gone out on the veranda going over some papers while he listened to Sophia's piano lesson. Delcia hadn't stayed for lunch and he'd gone to his store for the rest of the day. He came home for dinner and then went back to the veranda.

Carol decided that this was a good time to talk. Sophia was occupied upstairs with a book and Daryl wasn't coming back until Friday. She wanted to thank Merle and to let him know that she would always be grateful for what he and Jack had done for her and Sophia.

There was a nice breeze outside and she stopped to enjoy the sight of a New Mexico summer. The air always cooled down in the evening and even if there were occasional thunderstorms the humidity was never like it was in east Texas.

Merle was sitting back comfortably in his chair. No book or papers in sight. It was time. She settled herself into a chair beside his. The evening sun was slowly sliding down and she knew it would be another spectacular sunset and she wanted to paint that too. She wanted to paint every view or every person she saw. It was all so beautiful and may be in some way it would allow her to capture this joyful time. That by putting it on canvas with paint she'd be able to hold onto the memories of her first summer in New Mexico.

Merle glanced at her and then went back to watching the sunset, "There is a reason why this place is called Paradise."

She cleared her throat, "Jack left a letter for me. I read it last week at the lawyer's office. Thank you for everything that you did. You've been the instrument of my present happiness and I will always appreciate your thoughtfulness and kindness."

He didn't turn to look at her, "Don't tell Daryl. He'd hate me if he found out that you were there alone for a year. I'm sorry that we waited so long. We robbed you and Daryl time together."

"I won't tell Daryl unless you agree to it. I needed that time to stand on my own two feet and find who I am if I'm not Ed's punching bag. You were right. If I suddenly left after Ed was killed it would have looked all wrong. I'm looking forward to all the years that we will have together." Carol wanted him to know that she understood. It was the way it was meant to be.

Merle finally looked at her. "I forget sometimes how smart you really are. You figured it out, didn't you?"

Carol nodded, "I think I probably have but we don't have to ever speak about it. I know you are a good man. I know how Ed was always going to be. I trust you."

"This is only between you and me. I want to tell someone, someone who would understand and not judge me. Are you ready to hear it? I guess it's your story too

She stared into the sun and let the tears fall, then blinked them away, and turned back to Merle. "I'm ready."

"I found you and Sophia in east Texas. Ed had a job in a local bank and your home was outside of town. Just a little place. A house in need of repair and a barn. Some chickens and a cow. Not much considering that Ed made a good living at the bank."

I found a hotel in a nearby town and began to read the story of the Peletier family. Ed's an abusive drunk and you and Sophia are barely surviving. The word on the street is that Ed keeps you at the house so that you can't talk to anyone. Sophia is a shadow child. Misses a lot of school. I figured she stayed home when Ed hurt you worse than usual. I would do that when my father hurt my mother."

Merle was a good storyteller and his words brought it all back. The pain and mostly the fear that Ed would kill her and Sophia would be next. Her mind didn't work right in those days. She hated Ed, wanted him to die, but was unable to formulate a plan to get out. re

Merle looked around to see if there was anyone close to them. "I decided that I would go out there to your place and take you out right then. I hired a horse and wagon. Changed into farm clothes and drove in from the bigger town. The town that had a railroad stop. Had three tickets to Dallas on the noon train. My plan was to take you to the train. Get you to Dallas and then we would stay there until you were ready to go to New Mexico or wherever you wanted to go. I hoped it would be New Mexico."

"I had to do it that way. I couldn't go to the sheriff. The law would see you as Ed's property and I would be arrested as a kidnapper."

Carol nodded, "I don't know if I would have had the courage to go."

"You would have because you knew me. Knew that you could trust me." Merle shifted in his seat. "I hid the horse and wagon in a clump of trees away from your house and I moved to the barn before it was daylight. Ed would go to work and I'd have plenty of time to get you packed and at the railroad station by noon."

Carol took up the story. "Ed had come home so drunk the night before that he passed without touching me. I tried to get him awake the next morning but he wouldn't get up. Then when he did get up he was angry because he was going to be late for work. He began screaming at Sme until he worked up enough steam to start hitting. Sophia knew to hide. He dragged me out on the porch and added some kicks to my back. He left me there but warned that he'd have more time teach me a lesson that evening."

Merle closed his eyes, "I could hear you screaming and him cursing and it brought back the shit that my house was. Ed and my father were the same. I was in the barn and I knew he would have to come out there to get his horse so I slipped back into a little room. I figured he would saddle his horse and be on his way.

Carol said, "He left the barn door open and Sophia was there to help me in. We were busy for a while. She washed my face and helped me clean myself up. I didn't notice that the barn door was still open until I went out there to clean the stalls. Ed always checked the stalls to see if I had mucked them out when he came home if he wasn't too drunk."

Merle was rubbing his hands along the tops of his thighs. Carol had noticed that he did that when he was upset like when Daryl had broken his arm back in Oklahoma. Aunt Amelia had commented on it.

"I could hear him inside the barn still cussing and swearing to teach you a lesson. I told myself to keep my mouth shut. He'd be gone in a few minutes and then I could go get you and the girl. He was whipping the horse and I wanted to take the whip to Ed but I stayed where I was. Confronting the abuser is not how this works. Something fell on the shelf behind me and Ed stopped beating the horse. I knew he was going to check it out."

He wiped the sweat from his face and Carol knew he was in that barn now. Waiting for Ed to find him. "He opened the door and he had a pitchfork in his hand. He stared at me for a second and then he stabbed the pitchfork in my direction. He hit my left arm and it burned like a son of a bitch but he pulled it back quick. I had a shovel in my hand then and I used it to push him back enough to get out of that room." He wiped the sweat again and Carol saw that his hands were trembling.

"Ed wasn't backing down. I saw the rage on his face and knew he meant to kill me there. He stabbed at me again and I swung the shovel hard enough to move the pitchfork away from hitting my chest. It clipped the right arm though and I wasn't going to be able to hold him off. He had me backed up away from the door. He grinned at me and stabbed again and I pivoted to my right and brought the shovel up against his head. He fell and hit his head on an old anvil. He went down like a sack of potatoes. I thought he was just knocked out but he was dead. I killed him, Carol."

"I was bleeding and he was dead. I was in his barn and every bit of my plan was blown the hell up. I tried to make it look like the horse had did it. I hated that but if people thought that Ed was murdered. Might think it was you. Now you know everything. I did it to save my own ass. I didn't go there to kill him. Just to take you and Sophia away."

It was Carol's turn to talk again, "I found Ed when I got to the barn. Sophia was with me and I made her go back to the house. The horse had been whipped unmercifully. I cleaned up the blood on the anvil and dragged Ed closer to the front of the barn. Then Sophia and I walked into town to talk to the sheriff. He didn't take too long to declare Ed dead by his own cruelty. I sold the horse with a clear conscience even though I was advised to have him put down. You know the rest of my story."

"How did you know it was me? Do you believe me?" Merle asked.

"Jack was at Ed's funeral. His letter said that you had tracked us down and then Jack insists on going to the funeral. Ed was buried in two days but Jack was there. None of that made sense unless you had contacted him when Ed got killed. I knew somebody had killed Ed. I didn't know who but wanted to make sure that no one thought I had done it. I didn't connect all the dots until I got the letter. I believe you but I think this should just stay between us. I don't want anyone to find out. I know that you didn't go to Texas to kill Ed. I believe you, but let's not share this with anyone else."

Carol did believe him, but some secrets are better off never being revealed. Sophia never needed to know that Merle had killed Ed accidentally. Merle didn't want Daryl to know or he would have told him already. There was just one thing that she didn't understand. "Why did you say that confronting the abuser is not how this works? Have you rescued other women before?"

"Daryl and I grew up with an abuser. You've seen his back and I have my share of scars. It's a great big world and its filled with assholes like Ed. Daryl and I both have gone on runs and taken women out of the home if they'll go. Sometimes they stay with the man and have us take the children. You'd be surprised at how many people in Paradise have adopted children or how many women around here have second husbands without divorcing their first."

Carol guessed, "Rosita's mother. Tara and Denice. Alma"

Merle grinned, "I don't tell everything I know. I get a telegraph from some of my associates and I take a business trip. Daryl's been so busy with the ranch and you that he hasn't been going with me. We just do the easy part. We accompany the wife or the children to the home. The associates are the ones that get them ready to go."

Carol sat back in her seat and thought it through, "So you are like the Underground Railroad only instead of moving slaves to freedom you're taking women and children to a safer place. It sounds dangerous." Daryl could get killed out there trying to help.

Merle shrugged, "Sometimes but we're Dixons. We're tough. Like I said before we don't usually confront anybody. We blend into the background and move them as far away as we can. Some of them go back but not very many. We don't use our own names any more. Mostly now it's about the financing."

"Thank you for what you did for me and for the others. I wouldn't be alive right now if you hadn't come after me. I owe you big time." It was starting to get dark outside. Time to go upstairs and think about everything that had been said.

"You're very welcome. You don't owe me nothing. Watching Daryl with you and Sophia is enough for me."

Carol stood up, "It's going to work out between you and Delcia. I've got your back."

"Is there anything you haven't figured out?" Merle sounded a little defeated. "This isn't like you and Daryl. He's loved you since he was ten years old. Maybe you loved him that long. There's a mountain and an ocean between me and Delcia and she won't even try."

Carol looked at the house that Merle had built for Delcia. "Do you really want to live with what you'd have to put up with if you marry a Negro woman?"

"I want to live with Delcia. Sure we're going to get shit on from time to time. She'd get shit on any way because she is a Negro. I can handle it. I'm rich enough to insulate us from the worst of it. Would you marry Daryl If he were black?"

Carol looked up at the evening star. Daryl might be out on the ranch somewhere looking at it. "I'd marry him if he was purple with green stripes. We need to shake Delcia up a little. You're good at that. Think something up."

She went upstairs to check on Sophia. Daryl was finishing the last of the branding this week. He had promised to stay here at night from now on until the house was finished. She could handle the day without him but the evenings and nights were lonely. Merle must be the loneliest man on the planet without Delcia. Merle was Daryl's brother and that made him her brother. "I got your back, Merle. Come up with a plan."

AN

Merle is a big teddy bear. I like him that way.

Next chapter we'll learn Merle's plan.

I don't like writing about Carol's suffering at Ed's hands. I've only put it in a couple of stories. It's in this one because it needs to be. Merle in the television version had never killed anyone until the ZA. This version doesn't take it lightly at all.

Did you guess that it was Merle all along?