James Marsters was a vampire.

A condition that brought several distinct disadvantages to it. Allergic to silver, a tendency towards combustion, a rather severe reaction to sunlight and an annoying distaste towards holy items.

The fact that he would never age, never grow tired, never get sick and most importantly was dead and thus did not have to pay taxes, offset the ending of his acting career when he died ten years earlier.

And anytime his lack of life upset him all he had to do was turn the channel until he found an actor from his time and laugh at how they had aged.

/Except Sean Connery… there was something wrong with someone that could age like that./

Shaking the thought off, James looked up at the four humans that where desperately firing round after round at the other minions Angelus had recruited for this mission.

He knew from personal experience that even though the bullets hurt like a son-of-a-bitch they wouldn't slow the vampires down. Unless the humans caught a miracle, they were going to die.

If they where lucky, his fellow vampires would rip them apart when they got within reach. If not, they would be brought before the judge and be incinerated.

That's when the door he was guarding exploded inwards.

Ducking away from the shattered door, James turned in time to see a dark skinned girl step through the broken exit and swing a weird looking staff at him.

As the scoop at the end of the staff caught him under the chin, the decade old vampire took flight. It was amazing the things he noticed as he sailed through the air with the greatest of ease.

The first thing he noticed was the detached way he felt the pain from the staff, almost as if it was someone else being hurt. Second was the annoying grating sound as the bones in his jaw worked their way back to where they belonged instead of wrapped around the backside of his head like Daffy Duck.

He noticed the ugly ceiling as he went sailing underneath it, the rather shocked look on Angelus's upside down face, that it was about time for someone to buff the floor again, and then he was back looking at the dark woman who was pointing the bulb at the end of her staff at him as it split open. And then the ugly ceiling was back and he wondered why anyone would choose puke green to paint a ceiling before he had flipped around again and Angelus seemed to have just broken out of his shock as he was point towards him and yelling something.

--

As the vampire was halfway through its second spin cycle, Kendra triggered the Staff weapon and allowed herself a small smile as the blast of raw energy slammed into the back of the flying demon and scattered its dust across the mall floor.

As the last particles of dust floated down the silence was broken by a single voice.
"Hey Mister ANGELUS! Would you like a copy of the WatchTower?"

--

Thanks to some of the things he had survived, Jack O'Neill was by nature very hard to rattle.

Why just last week he had managed to think up several sarcastic comments in one conversation while fighting for his life against alien worms bent on world domination,
but there where a few stone cold truths that he clung to with rabid determination.

One of these truths was the fact that Homer Simpson could kick the ass of Papa Smurf in a steel cage match any day of the week. Another truth was the fact that when he shot an unarmored human with a forty-five caliber hand cannon they fell down. This was an understandable truth to stand behind and he had in fact tested this theory several times in his years of military service.

He was thus very annoyed when he shot an unarmored individual no less then five times before said individual fell down. He became extremely annoyed when the individual then decided to stand back up.

It was very rude for someone to stand up after he had killed them.

His anger had started to turn to fear as his team had thrown everything they had at the seven men and women that were charging them and only succeeded in slowing them down. Oh and pissing them off.

Yup, they seemed real upset as they closed in on his team with obvious ill intent and then the door exploded as the girl that had gotten lucky and knocked his team out earlier jumped through with a staff weapon.

He was more then a little surprised when she hit the one thug at the door with the staff and swallowed heavily as the thug went flying. His mind shut down though when the staff blast hit the thug in the back and blew him to dust.

Turning towards his team he saw the surprise and shock on Daniel's face as he tried to figure out how she had hit him that hard.

Carter seemed more focused on figuring out how they had managed to get a triple zat function on a staff weapon.

Teal'c was watching the staff weapon hungrily as he gripped the foreign weapon he had been issued for off base use.

Jack looked back in time to see the person they had been sent to capture step through the shattered door and grin at the shocked looks of the occupants.

"Hey Mister ANGELUS! Would you--

--

--like a Copy of the WatchTower?"

Angelus snarled at the interfering little shit as he once again stepped between him and his goals. He was about ready to order his minions to crush the annoyance when the Judge simply stepped forward.

"I will crush this insect, no weapon forged may harm me." The blue demon growled before stomping towards Xander and the Jamaican slayer.

--

Yes I know it's short, but I REALLY wanted to get the next part out before the plot bunnies started to eat my brain.