"Did you really kill six strigoi?" I nodded and leaned in to kiss her again. And again. And again.
"Wow," she breathed.
I trail my hands down the sides of her face. "Don't worry. You'll have a lot more than me someday."
"Do you feel guilty about it?" she asked.
My mind was going so quickly, I couldn't comprehend what she was saying. "Hmm?"
"Killing them. You said in the van that it was the right thing to do, but it still bothers you. It's why you go to church, isn't it? I see you there, but you aren't really into the services."
Once again, Rose seemed to have read right through me. The smallest of smiles slipped passed my lips.
"How do you know these things? I'm not guilty exactly..just sad sometimes. All of them used to be human or dhampir or Moroi. It's a waste, that's all, but as I said before, it's something I have to do. Something we all have to do. Sometimes it bothers me, and the chapel is a good place to think about those kinds of things. Sometimes I find peace there, but not often. I find more peace with you."
As I tried to roll us over, she pressed down even farther into my chest. Her lips leaned into my neck, and when she pulled away, her eyes are red-ringed.
Horror consumed me. I leaned away from her, which obviously didn't get me very far.
Her skin is suddenly pale and chalky. She tilted her head and smiled wickedly. "Don't hesitate, Comrade." And her lips attacked my neck, and all that I can hear is the tearing of flesh.
I shoot up with a cry. Panting. Darkness. Rose. Gone. Head pounding. Heart racing. My room. My bed. My reality.
My body is tense and ready, although the only danger I face is the darkness. I swing my shaking legs over the side of the bed and push myself up. I can still feel the sharp teeth against my hot and moist skin. It sends shivers down my spine. Don't hesitate, Comrade.
I swallow the large knot that has accumulated in my throat during my nightmare. I wonder if it was a scream.
A quick look at my alarm clock, and I realize it is only several hours after noon, when most vampires are still deep in sleep.
Without a second thought, don't hesitiate, Comrade, I throw on clothing and my coat and burst from the door of my tiny, shrinking room. The sun beats down warmly on my back, seeping through my thick jacket. In these past few days, I've realize that I do, in fact, miss the sun. More than I had initially thought.
I move around the academy, walking quickly to try and leave the dream behind. But it clings to me like a layer of sweat that I can't brush off.
When I reach the Moroi buildings, the pounding of music draws my attention. I glance at my watch again and sigh. Royal Moroi. In the wake of death and destruction, there is always a party.
I move up to the third floor, the mentor side of me coming through, following the steady, pounding music, and knock on the door. When no one answers, I push through. The more, the merrier, I suppose. I slipped through the crowd, the alcohol apparently making me invisible. And over the heads of all of the Moroi, I see Vasilisa and Avery in the midst of it all. My dream is forgotten, well, pushed aside, and I approach the Princess.
She is swaying back and forth, a drink in her hand. I march up to her.
"Princess," I hiss, my voice harsh. Apparently the alcohol took the edge off of everything, and she smiles and giggles at my sharp tone.
"Guardian Belikov? Is something wrong?" she slurs, looking up at me.
I clench my hands at my sides. "Yes, Princess, something is wrong," I growl. "What's wrong is that Ro-"
"Dimitri, is it?" I grit my teeth and swing to face one Miss Avery Lazar.
"Guardian Belikov," I spit. I had never demanded that Rose call me by my professional name, in fact the only time she did so was to let me know I'd messed up, but this Lazar girl was trouble, and I wanted her as far away from me, and the Princess, as possible.
Avery steps forward and runs one of her thin hands down my chest. I grab her wrist and glare at her warningly. "Miss Lazar, you are stepping out of line."
She smiles seductively, and fails miserably. "I think you want this," she whispers.
And just like that, I cannot look away. There is something attractive about this young woman, not physically attractive, but some essensce she contains that draws me towards her. She smiles again, and I find myself unable to look anywhere else but her eyes. She leans towards me, and I can't move, can't breathe, can't-
"Guardian Belikov?" I snap out of my trance. "What are you doing here?"
I turn to the drunken face of the Princess, shaking my head. "I'm taking you out of here." I grab her wrist and start to drag her towards the door.
"Hey!" she squeaks. "Let me go! I can do what I want! I'm seventeen!" I look her in the eyes, seeing her bloodshot eyes and unfocused expression. She gulps again. "I'm seventeen."
It is so close to what Rose had said when I had thrown Jesse from the lounge that it makes me cringe. "Yes, Princess. You're seventeen. And in less than three months, you will be an adult. You will be the face of the Dragomirs. Is this," I motion to her crumpled clothing, bloodshot eyes and swaying figure. "How you want to be seen? How you want your family to be seen?"
She blushes and looks down. I clear my throat. "Vasilisa. By some chance the bond has not been broken. Rose knows where you are, even like this. You have an advantage, being able to feel her. So what are you doing? Numbing the bond? She knows you're at the academy, but you have no idea where she is. You're putting not only your own life in danger, but everyone else's as well." I sigh, running my hand through my hair.
"Rose will not come alone. We need to find her before she comes. You need to tell me where she is!" My voice holds a pleading tone. She swallows, but remains silent.
"Go back to your room, Princess." She nods and sulks away. I sigh and begin my walk back to my own room.
Yes, I needed to kill Rose. Knowing her, she would not come alone. If Vasilisa could only allow the bound to filter through, we might have an idea; an advantage. But when I found Rose, I would have to kill her. Kill her. I wasn't sure if I could do it. Could I pretend that nothing happened between us? Could I just take her life without a second thought? I find more peace when I'm with you. I had originally set out to kill her, but now? I wasn't sure if I could do it.
Don't hesitate, Comrade.