Chapter 10: Higher Learning
"Mom, how can I tell if a guy likes me?"
Setting aside the basket I've been filling as I pick the vegetables, I sit back on my heels to think for a moment. "That's a very good question, baby."
"Sometimes, a guy who likes you will find excuses to be with you, spend time with you. And sometimes, you'll catch him looking at you."
"So how do you know if your just friends or that he likes you . . . you know, more?"
"Sometimes you simply have to have a talk with him about it. But then you have to be ready to accept whatever his answer is."
"That makes sense."
"Is there some guy that you like?"
"There is," she blushes. "I just like to be around him. And . . . I like to watch him."
"Does he know you like him?"
"I think so. He smiles at me a lot. But, I'm not really sure. And, I bet you'd like to know who it is, wouldn't you?"
"I'll wait until you're ready to tell me." Thank you Spirit, for patience and wisdom.
"I want to wait to tell you until I'm sure he likes me, too."
"I can understand that, baby. I'm sure it will work itself out. These things usually do."
"Thanks, Mom. You're the best!" She leaves her harvesting and comes over to plop a smooch on my forehead. It's then that I see the red streak running down her leg.
"Mahpiya, I suspect you have started your cycle today. I point to her thigh."
"Oh? Oh wow." She peeks into her loincloth, "I'd say so. Just like you told me, Mom."
"I'm going to run home and get some cloths and clean clothes for you. Just sit there, okay?"
I jog the well-worn path back to the cavern to retrieve everything, including some damp rags for my daughter to clean herself with.
"You're in a hurry," Marie calls from her front porch where she watches Devi playing with a group of toddlers.
Swerving over to her, I sit beside her for a moment. "Mahpiya just started her period. I'm taking things to her."
"She did! That's . . . that's wonderful and awful all at the same time."
"Tell me about it. And she's interested in some guy and no, I don't know who it is yet. And, I don't know how far her interest goes. Just trying to play it casual with her."
"You're a wise Mama, Angie."
"Just have a little experience under my belt now. I need to talk with you about something soon, some new classes for the kids. Have to run now though. Later?"
"Later!"
The path to the garden is clear and packed from constant use. My callused feet have no complaint as I jog back to Mahpiya.
"Here ya go, baby. Everything you need."
"Mahpiya ducks into the bush, returning shortly, "Thanks, Mom. How long is this going to last? I don't remember."
"A few days. Everybody is different. Having any pain?"
"Nope. It's just a hassle. Every month now, for ever and ever."
"It is a hassle, but it's how we're made. And if and when you get pregnant, you'll get a nine-month break from it!" I try to act positive, "And I need to talk with you more about that. Let's have a rest over in the shade."
We move our harvest baskets with us, to protect the produce from the drying sun.
"Mahpiya, I've told you everything about sex and about how babies are made. What we've not talked about is timing."
"Timing?"
"Yes. You know that I had a great deal of trouble giving birth to you."
"Yea, I know that. Do you think it will be the same for me?"
"I hope not. But we won't know for sure until you have one. You're almost thirteen now and you aren't full grown yet. I bet you have at least another four or five years of growth ahead of you. My point is that I want to strongly suggest that you don't have sex until you're full grown because if you try to have a baby when you're not, you may not be big enough to handle it. Mahpiya, women can die in childbirth."
"They can? How?"
"Sometimes, the baby is so big they can't push it out. Or sometimes, like with you, the baby is turned and has a hard time coming out. Many things can happen. I don't want to scare you, but you need to know there are some risks. You can help minimize those risks by waiting until you're full grown to have sex."
"So four or five years from now?"
"Yup."
"That shouldn't be a problem. Should it?"
"Not right now," I agree. "It may become more difficult as you grow older. Remember sex drive? It can be pretty strong in men and women, especially young men."
"I remember that. I guess I'll know it when I feel it."
"I bet you will. What can happen is that you're with a guy, touching, kissing, enjoying each other and you get this overwhelming desire to have sex. For me, it feels like my genitals are almost vibrating, needing to be touched. It's easy to get swept away by it. So that's why we're talking about it now."
"So, if that happens, and I don't want to have sex, what do I say?"
"You just tell him that and why. He should respect you enough to stop. If he doesn't, if he's being swept away by his desire, well then you have my permission to hit him. Hard, if necessary."
"I do? Never thought I'd hear you say that, Mom. Wow. Sex drive must be a really strong thing."
"It's one of the most powerful things there is. Nature wants to make sure we have babies."
"Wow. Maybe I should have taking play fighting lessons from Dad or Aleki."
I never thought about that. I never thought, until just right now, that knowing how to hurt somebody would be a skill that she should know. Damn crystal ball. Is this something I need to ask Aleki to teach her? HD's still out and I'd rather she learned it from a man.
"Shall we go back to our work? Unless you have a question."
"Yea, let's get this harvest in. I'll ask if I think of anything else. Thanks for having my back, Mom."
"Always, baby. I try. Always."
With Mahpiya now cared for, we continue harvesting in the garden.
"Aleki! Can I talk with you?"
"Sure, boss. What's up? Where's HD Junior?"
"Oh, I wish you wouldn't call her that. Never to her face, anyway. Mahpiya's helping Marie with a new submission class."
"Got to drill them kids when they're young! So what you need?"
"A serious talk, my friend. I've been talking to Mahpiya about sex."
Aleki looks startled. "No, we've always talked about it. I wouldn't put something that important off until now!"
He looks a little less surprised as I continue. "I've been talking to her about putting off having sex until she's full grown. I don't want her to try delivering a baby before she's grown. You know I had trouble having her and I want things to be as safe for her as possible."
"Makes sense."
"Anyway, we got to talking about it and what to say to the guy if he wanted sex and she didn't. It hit me, what if he tries to force her into it? I told her she had permission to hit him. Hard."
"Good for you, Angie! She should!"
"But she doesn't know how to hold her own physically. She's never been taught to fight. Do you think she should learn a few things? I don't know what the other parents are teaching their kids. I don't want her to be raped."
"Geez. I never thought about this. Yea, these boys are getting older. I know they're thinking about it already."
"How do you know?"
"Boss . . . I was a little boy once. I remember." He gives a wide grin.
"Do you think you could teach her how to defend herself?"
"Well, ya. I can do that. She's strong. She can learn some things. Angie, do you think all the girls should learn this?"
"I'm taking this up with the council right away. There are a few other things I think we should be teaching our children too. Just because you can have a baby, doesn't mean you'll do a good job teaching it. I'm finding that out."
"You know, HD has some definite ideas about how to raise kids."
"I know. We talked about this, right before he left. I really miss him."
"I do too. I think he'll be home soon, boss. Don't worry about him. That boy can take care of himself!"
"I try not to, Aleki. It seems I worry a great deal."
"You're the council Leader. It's your job to worry."
"HD says it's not good to worry so much."
"He's probably right. So maybe it's your job as Leader to look out for us, but not worry so much, eh?"
I nod. "Thanks for talking with me."
"You wanna watch me teach her? You could learn something too."
"That's a great idea! Could you teach us both?"
"Sure can!"
"The first thing you need to learn is to find your center of balance." Aleki schools Mahpiya and I out on the sand. She's excited about learning something new, especially something physical. I'm more retrospect as in 'Can I do this?'
Aleki shows and talks us through the lesson as I try to focus and become aware of what he's talking about somewhere below and between my navel and my butt.
"Now, I want you to just stand like you were at first, without being centered. I'm gonna give you a little push and you see how easy it is to knock you off balance."
He gives my shoulder a shove and I wobble and step to stay upright. Mahpiya does the same.
"Now, center yourself just like you learned and I'll try it again."
He repeats the pushes and the difference is substantial. The lesson goes on.
"When are we going to learn to hit?" my eager daughter asks.
"After you learn to fall without hurting yourself," is the smiling reply.
The rest of the morning is spent falling and learning to expend the energy of the hit out into our bodies and the ground. We also learn to fall and roll.
"On a hard surface, like the cave floor, this makes a huge difference. When you go home, try it and see," Aleki directs. "Now, that's it for today. Tomorrow? Same time?"
"Yup! We'll be here. Thanks for the lesson!"
"Thanks, Uncle Aleki. I want to learn to circle and fight just like you and Daddy."
"Uh, we'll see about that, Mahpiya. The main thing for you to learn now is to defend yourself, okay?"
"Okay!"
"Mahpiya," I address her on the walk back home, "What Aleki is teaching us, that's to use against humans, not Hunters. Got it?"
"I know. We have to submit to Hunters."
"That's right, not matter what they do. No matter the cost."
"What cost, Mom? I know they might poke at us or cut us."
"Baby, they might threaten to kill one of us just to provoke the others into action. If that happens, you stay down and don't move. Even if they kill that person. Understand? You have to think of everyone's safety, not just one person."
"But what if it's you Mom? Or somebody else I love?"
"You have to let us go, baby."
"Would you let me go, Mom?"
"They won't be here for a long, long time yet. And they don't pick on women. It's the men they hunt. The only way they'd hurt or kill us is if we picked up a weapon. Don't worry about it. When they come, whoever is here will submit and that will be the end of it. They won't have to worry about the Hunters ever coming again."
"You think so?" Her face wrinkles in utmost concentration. "You think it will only take one time to convince them? What if they're smarter than that?"
"What do you think we should do if that happens?"
"They'll have to keep submitting, every time, until the Hunters don't come back anymore."
"Yup. Exactly."
The council room is filled with each member at our long table. I call for everyone's attention. "I have a new proposal to be considered. It's from me. I've been thinking a great deal the past weeks about what we are teaching our children. Not the submission classes, that seems to be going well, but other things they need to be taught.
"I recognize that not all parents teach the same things and not all parents are equally good teachers. I'd like to organize several more classes. One class would teach values like telling the truth, honesty, good citizenship and things like that. Our people need common values if society is to continue as well as it has. Another class would be for sex and relationship education. Kids need to know these things. Since my daughter is coming of age, I've thought a great deal about this. I don't want her to become pregnant at too early and age and we don't have any reliable birth control. I think kids need to learn about all this from the best teachers among us we can find. I don't want to lose a generation of women because they died in childbirth at fourteen. The third class would be some basic self defense. I came up with this idea because my daughter is coming of age and . . . quite frankly I want her to be able to defend herself from rape."
The table comes alive with gasps and comments. "Let's have order." I rap the table with my gavel stone. "The floor is now open for discussion. Let's take the class on values first."
It takes all of us a week to hammer out a consensus. To my dismay, parents will be strongly encouraged to have their children attend these classes but they won't be compulsory. That could leave the poorly educated in our midst as well as kids who don't know how to defend themselves. Seneca left quite a mark on my mind when he explained that it wasn't only young girls who needed to learn rape prevention. The idea had never crossed my mind.
Marie, Pranav, Aleki and I have all volunteered to teach. Classes will being shortly, after we have prepared curriculum and I can only hope they'll be well attended. What if someone wants their child to take self-defense but not the values training? Shit, I hadn't considered that.
The huge drum beats a steady rhythm as all the drummers sit around it, sticks in hand, following the beat set by the leader. A song breaks forth as Mahpiya excitedly beams at me. She looks stunning in her long purple shawl that wings over her arms and drips fringe nearly to the ground. A short skirt replaces her usual loincloth and a sleeveless leather shirt circles the base of her neck where a throng holds a Dino Bird talon. Two braids grace the corners of her head and fall down over her shoulders. While a leather band, with forehead amulet of tooled and dyed leather, sporting the same purple, crowns her regalia. My regalia set is similar, but dyed with fern green. My leather head band is simple and no talon hangs at my throat, only a cluster of purple clam shells.
We enter the dance arena and holding out our arms like great birds, begin to dance. Our bare feet work the sand as we make the patterns of the Fancy Shawl dance. We are the only two for this dance and have the freedom of the entire arena. Mahpiya smiles at me and then smiles at the crowd. I'm smiling too. I've not danced this dance in such beautiful clothing since I was a child.
Honor beats from the drum sing out praises as I recognize faces in the crowd. There's Junior with Devi, Jenn and Maria, Marie holding baby Francois and Pranav. Aleki, Hotah, Seneca with Mark and Ryan and so many others.
We finish our dance to great applause and leave the arena just as Malik and the troupe of African dancers come in. They stop and unexpectedly bow to Mahpiya and me and we bow back to them.
"Let's watch, Mom," Mahpiya tugs at me to sit on the edge instead of leaving to change out of our regalia.
The five men enter, dressed in yellowish leather that reminds me of lion skin. Leather is wrapped around their waists and flows over one shoulder, leaving the other bare. A group of drummers come to the side of the circle and begin a rhythm. Each drummer has their own beater and drum. A rich tapestry of tempo ensues as every drummer seems to thump out a separate cadence. All together they blend into a pulsing, live sound.
The dancers begin moving, jumping, turning, undulating to the primal beat. I feel a stirring deep within. Human life originated in Africa. Does some ancient part of me leap with joy when I hear this?
Mahpiya's eyes are glued on the dancers. Shining oiled skin dramatically highlighted by firelight makes the dancers look exotic . . . mystical . . . beyond the mere mortals watching them. It's one of them. One of them she's attracted to. I need to meet Malik's dancing partners and get to know each one of them. Might be wisdom. As HD says, 'Arree thheeyyy woortthyy?'
The dark dancers finish and exit the arena amidst whoops and applause. Silently, Aleki appears with a group of men and women islanders. They line up across the arena, squat as if finding center and begin. There is no drum, only the fierce words of the dancers. With great seriousness and power, Aleki calls out the first line, "Samoa! Sauni ia tau le taua! La tau matua, tau! La fai ia mafia! Le Samoa e!" The others call back fiercely, "O a'u le Manu, O a'u le Manu, Samoa!"
The chanting goes on between Aleki and his dancers while they assume fierce postures with legs and arms. Like a haka, but without the faces. He said it was a war dance.
They finish to thunderous applause and a group of male fancy dancers take the stage as the drummers quickly reassemble at the great central drum. The dancers shimmer with bustles, one on the back, the other sprouting from the back of the hips. Lacking feathers, these have been cleverly created with colorful leather, sticks and long leaves. While not as bright as the Earth ones in my memory, they serve their purpose here well, adorning each dancer as boldly as a peacock. The dancers jump and whirl, showing off their skills.
"Look, Mahpiya, its Hotah!" I point to the purple fancy dancer on the right.
"It is! And he's purple, just like me!"
The dancing and drumming goes far into the night as we celebrate. The last dance is a great circle dance with everyone joining a huge circle to side-step to the sturdy beat of the drum. Our oblong circle fills the entire beach. When it is over, Mahpiya seems too excited to sleep, while I can't wait to drag myself to bed.
"Uncle Aleki's staying up," she notes. "Can I stay up with him?"
I eye Aleki and the rest of the group of men, "Mahpiya, sometimes its good to just let the guys be by themselves. Let's go home, okay? I know you're still up from the evening. Maybe you can find something to do at home until you get sleepy."
"If you say so."
"I do." Her mood darkens but I simply shrug and steer her toward home, remembering the times I was angry with my Dad and my grandparents.