A/N – In response to a reviewer's question – and thank you for the encouragement, which was much appreciated – I thought I'd pass along a few hints. This is going to be a fairly long story (Alex did come back more than five years, after all) so I hate to give too much away too soon, but Remus does find Alex again before the end of 1996 – although that doesn't mean that he'll recognize her when he does – and the very elderly woman who is helping Alex with her education is a canon character who first appears near the end of OotP. The double update today is in appreciation for your interest.

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By common consent, none of the trio said anything further about the matter until they had returned to the privacy of the boys' room and shut the door.

"She doesn't trust Dumbledore?" Ron repeated in disbelief as soon as the door was closed.

"He's only human," Hermione pointed out coolly, "and quite fallible." Ron merely shook his head.

"Was Professor Lupin really, well, upset about something?" Harry asked.

"Oh, yes," Hermione agreed instantly.

"Why would he be upset?" Ron asked.

"Maybe there's something else in the diary?" Hermione suggested. Harry retrieved it automatically and handed it to her as he sat down in the bed.

"Professor Dumbledore still must have told her about Grimmauld Place before she became a member of the Order, even if he was thinking about asking her to join later," Harry mused aloud as Hermione quickly flipped through the small book to find where they'd left off before supper. "Why would he do that? It doesn't make any sense. Why didn't he just wait until after she'd agreed to become a member and tell her about it then?"

"Harry?" Hermione said in a very strange tone.

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I should be reading this," she said slowly, handing Sirius' diary back to him with her finger marking the page where they'd left off.

Harry accepted it with surprise, quickly finding the last entry and reading on silently. The first words of the next entry began, "Amazing discovery this morning – M may be in love with A!" and Harry looked up sharply in surprise. Hermione met his eyes regretfully, and Harry acknowledged her glance with his own before returning to the diary. There were only three more entries.

Amazing discovery this morning – M may be in love with A! Went to get M to help with breakfast and saw them talking books (ugh!). Don't think she knows – harder to tell with him. Need more info on A.

If she hurts M, may overcome my reluctance to do anything old Voldie wants and finish her off for him. Just a thought –

Still nothing from H. Tempted to use mirror myself, but refrained. Don't want to screw up his O.W.L.'s. Gave Buckbeak some extra rats and a rubdown instead.

Sudden maturity must be a sign of old age!

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M definitely gone on A. Signs there if you're looking and know M, but doubt anyone else knows.

Never like this in school – guess he saved it up to take really hard all at once. Worried at first – the smartest people can be stupid about things like this – but now think A a good choice. Talks like M. Has brains and guts. Damned good at hiding things, but then so is he.

Still nothing from H.

Exams almost over, but results – and other 'tentative' plans – more than a month away, still closer to two!

Buckbeak hates being cooped up too.

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I am the biggest %!# ever born, worth of every nasty thing S ever said about me.

Would never let S say so, but wouldn't argue with M if he did.

Only meant to help him out a bit, let him unload. J would have talked about L for days if he could have persuaded anyone to listen that long. I bungled the thing so badly that M actually thought I meant me about A!

What's worse is the way he took it. Congratulated me! Looked wretched and trying to hide it – worse than when we confronted him about the wolf thing, or even when he found out how I'd f%!& up getting back at S – although last was more anger than agony. Only time I've ever seen M too angry to talk.

Should have torn my tongue out before saying anything so stupid. M would never have screwed up like that. Don't deserve a friend like M.

Got it straightened out, but he still didn't say much. Seems to be worried about the wolf thing. Probably harder when he's not even recovered from this moon, but A hasn't shown any signs of stupidity about it so far. Praying it won't be a problem.

M would never say a word against her if it did, but I'd hate to think what it would do to him.

The entries stopped there, and Harry closed the book and set it down.

"What is it?" Ron prompted when Harry didn't say anything.

"It was sort of – personal," Harry said awkwardly.

"Oh."

"Not about me, about Remus," he added.

"Are you going to tell him?" Hermione asked.

"I, er," Harry struggled, "do you think I should?"

"I don't know, Harry. I think it's up to you." Hermione's voice was very quiet, then she looked at him very shrewdly. "If you do decide to say something to him, I don't think there would be a problem with your telling him that you had only read the first part when you went downstairs for supper."

"Yeah, I guess I could do that," Harry said slowly. "If I don't say anything, he'll probably just keep wondering what Sirius wrote." He stood up. "I'll be back in a bit."

Remus was alone in the kitchen when Harry found him. The former professor was staring into the coffee he was stirring distractedly.

"Er," Harry hesitated near the doorway, not sure how to begin. The older man looked up with an automatic smile that seemed to stiffen in place when he caught sight of the small black book in Harry' hands.

"Come in, Harry," Remus suggested mildly. Harry walked slowly over to take the corner seat adjacent to him, setting the diary down on the table between them.

"I, er, I hadn't read the last few entries before supper," Harry explained awkwardly, nudging the diary toward Remus, who picked it up calmly, opened it to the first page, and began to read. His facial expression was very neutral as he read, and Harry couldn't see Remus' eyes, which were fixed on the pages as he turned them. When Lupin finished, he set the book down again on the table.

"I'm sorry," Harry blurted out.

Lupin quirked an eyebrow. "What for?" he returned lightly.

"Well, er," Harry stumbled and stopped.

"Harry, I could have read it before I gave it to you, and I didn't." Remus smiled at Harry again, but this time he met Harry's eyes. "It didn't even occur to me that Sirius would have written anything about me, but I'm not sorry to find that he did. I've been thinking a lot about how important Sirius was to me, and this was a reminder that I was important to him too." He said this so genuinely that Harry relaxed.

"Did he really, well, mess things up?" Harry asked, and Remus laughed.

"Well, yes, but he meant well," Lupin said indulgently. "He was trying to be tactful, it just didn't work out the way he expected – my fault, not his."

"Do you mind if I ask, well, what happened? With Alex, I mean." Harry was trying not to make it obvious that he was studying Remus' expression, but he was beginning to pick up on some of the subtler clues to how the older man was really feeling. Here, it was only a faint tightness about the eyes –

"Nothing happened," he replied calmly. "I haven't seen her since she left Grimmauld Place."

"Oh."

Remus smiled slightly. "You don't have to look so downcast about it, Harry. This sort of thing happens all the time."

"I just thought – er, never mind."

"It's a matter of priorities, Harry," Remus said quietly. "I don't know where Alex is at the moment, but it's not unlikely that my trying to make contact with her would put her in danger. That's not something I'm willing to do. But that doesn't mean I won't see her again in the future – or that I might not meet someone else I like in the interim."

"I suppose," Harry agreed aloud, and permitted Remus to change the subject.

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The meeting of the Order of the Phoenix drew to a close, the group having finalized the plans to escort Harry back to Hogwarts. A rather large group – dominated by Weasleys – would be taking the Knight Bus to the station where Harry and the other students could board the Hogwarts Express. The timing was the major point of contention, as they struggled to balance the need to ensure that the students made it safely on board the train with the desire to avoid exposing them to possible attack any longer than necessary while waiting for the train to depart the station. At the conclusion of the meeting, Remus rose to file out of the room with the others, but was stopped by Dumbledore's voice.

"Remus, would you mind waiting a few minutes? There's something I'd like to discuss with you."

Remus nodded, reseating himself and remaining in place. He maintained his composure even as Severus cast him a look of loathing even more venomous than usual and stalked from the room.

The Headmaster made his way over to Remus as Minerva closed the door behind her, leaving the two men alone in the room. Remus met Dumbledore's eyes and waited.

"Remus, I wanted to speak with you about a subject I raised some time ago," he began, "succession planning." Remus blinked.

"Are you speaking to all of us individually?" he asked, puzzled, "because it really isn't necessary. I'll continue to do whatever I can in the fight against Voldemort regardless of whom you choose." He thought he saw a momentary flicker of pain in those light eyes, but it was gone so quickly he might have imagined it.

"I was hoping you would volunteer to serve as my second," the Headmaster said quietly.

"Me?" Remus stared at him. "You're not serious?"

"Yes, I am."

"But – why me?" Remus sputtered, completely taken aback. "Moody's a much better fighter than I am! Or Minerva – she's very good herself, highly respected, and an excellent leader. Even Severus – he knows a great deal not just about the Dark Arts, but about our enemy and his inner circle. Why on earth –?"

"And that is exactly why I was hoping you would volunteer," Dumbledore told him, regarding him with warm approval. "You look at the other members of the Order and see what they have to contribute, not what they lack. You bring out the best in people, Remus, and they respond to that."

"I – don't know what to say."

"Then perhaps I should do the talking for a while," the Headmaster replied simply. "I know that this has been hard for you lately because I failed you. I won't try to explain it, as I credit you with understanding the reasons for that failure at least as well as I do myself. Nor do I need to hear any reassurance from you that you won't allow your own feelings to interfere with your support for the Order; I already know that. I do want to talk to you a little about Severus."

"He wouldn't be happy about this," Remus pointed out, "and he's very important to the Order." Not to mention the werewolf issue, which bothers me myself. What if they need a leader when there's a full moon?

"True," Dumbledore agreed. "And he's also very important to me in a way I want to make sure you understand." He looked at Remus somewhat apologetically. "You probably don't want to hear this right now, but I've often thought that you and I were a lot alike. Severus is very different, but it is those differences that make him so valuable. His counsel has kept me from many mistakes over the years – he probably doesn't realize how many – and he would still be one of my most trusted advisors even if he were not the source of our best intelligence. No one who is too similar to you will ever see as many flaws in your thinking as someone who looks at everything in an entirely different way."

"You would want Severus to be my second," Remus concluded aloud.

"He is next after Minerva at the school." The Headmaster looked slightly rueful. "I seem to have done a better job in succession planning at Hogwarts than I have for the Order, but the omission can be remedied."

"Can I think about this? I hadn't considered myself in that role."

"Of course," the Headmaster agreed immediately. "Let me know what you decide, but please keep in mind that I really do believe you're the best choice for this."

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Remus did consider it, but had a hard time coming to any conclusions. It was difficult to believe that he really was the best choice for this, given his lycanthropy – not to mention that one of the key members of the Order really didn't like him very well. After worrying it over without reaching a decision, he finally relegated it to the back of his mind for a time. The full moon at the end of August was approaching, and they had yet to get Harry safely back to school. Perhaps he'd have a better idea of the right thing to do after those events had passed.

He was trying to occupy himself with a book in Sturgis' library when Bill Weasley came in carrying a still smoking goblet containing his potion.

"Thank you, Bill," Remus said as he set his book down and accepted it, trying not to grimace at the taste. "Apparently you've been enlisted to serve as a courier tonight?" Remus started drinking, reminding himself with every swallow that this was better than the alternative. If I didn't know it was just as bad when other people brew it, I'd suspect Severus of making it deliberately foul.

Bill dropped easily into the chair next to his before answering.

"I volunteered actually. I had to go out to the school anyway," he shrugged. Remus was still finishing the potion, so it was a moment or two before he could reply, but when he was about to speak he was cut short by Bill's chuckle.

"If you could have seen your face when you set the goblet down," Bill explained. "I don't know if I could describe it in words."

The fetid aftertaste still lingering in his mouth, Remus glanced over at Bill and gave him a suggestion which was pithy and frankly obscene.

There had only been a fraction of a second in which Remus had decided to uncensor his reaction, to speak more frankly in front of the younger man than he would normally have done in front of – well, anyone but one of others from the group of four friends at school. It was probably a combination of his own resolution after Sirius' death and Bill's refusal to censor his own reaction to watching Remus down the potion – which was oddly comforting as it showed that he regarded Remus' lycanthropy as just another one of his traits rather than politely avoiding the subject in a misguided effort to spare Remus' feelings.

Now Bill was grinning at him, and Remus didn't regret the impulsive choice. "The last time I tried that I ended up having to make some very embarrassing explanations to a Healer, so I think I'll pass," he retorted easily.

"Maybe this isn't a tactful time for me to ask how Fleur is doing," Remus said then, his eyes twinkling a little.

"Things are good. I'm supposed to spend Christmas with her family this year."

"She's invited you already?"

"Not exactly," Bill admitted, amused. "She doesn't want to admit that she's serious enough to want to bring me home for the holidays, but she also wants to make sure I don't make any other plans, so she's being a little oblique about it rather than just coming out with an invitation."

"Are you planning to go?"

"Oh yes. And I've let her know – also obliquely – that I'm going to need a little help with presents for her family if she wants me to make a good impression. Which works out pretty well for me because she'll have to have them scouted out beforehand. All I'll have to do is pay for them, but I won't be able to get in any real trouble since I wasn't the one who picked them out – not that she'll tell her parents that." Remus chuckled.

"Well, as long as everyone is happy –"

"So, how are things going with you?"

Remus hesitated. It had never occurred to him to discuss this with anyone, but it was preying on his mind, and Bill had a good head on his shoulders.

"Dumbledore asked me to serve as his successor in leading the Order," he admitted slowly, "but I'm not sure whether or not that's a wise decision."

Bill quirked a brow at him. "Because of Snape or your lycanthropy?"

"Both, actually. Severus is very important to the Order, and he wouldn't be pleased. And I'm not sure it's fair to have someone in a leadership position who is unavailable on a regular basis."

"Thirteen nights a year – all of which are predictable – wouldn't be anything we couldn't easily work around. Dumbledore isn't always available either you know, and that's less predictable."

"But what if something happens while I'm a wolf?" Remus voiced his real concern.

"Well, I suppose it depends on how much confidence you have in the rest of the team," Bill said bluntly. "If you're going to be the kind of leader who doesn't trust anyone to do anything unless you're standing over them supervising, then you're not going to be comfortable in that role because you won't be able to oversee us every minute. If you think that we might be able to manage to muddle through for a few hours without you, then it won't be a problem."

"I didn't mean it like that," Remus protested.

"It's the only real reason for you to be worried about it. Either you trust us to manage occasionally without your presence or you don't." As Remus was absorbing this – Bill might have a point – the younger man continued on to what he evidently regarded as the weightier issue. "Snape is the more difficult question. I know Dumbledore trusts him, but what I can't decide is whether he's loyal to Order or merely loyal to its current leader. On the other hand, if it's the latter, he couldn't be trusted under anyone else so it may not matter who succeeds the Headmaster."

"Having someone he really doesn't like in that position might push him away."

Bill looked at him then and made a suggestion.

"Why don't you talk to him and see what he says?"

"You seem to have a talent for pointing out the obvious," Remus observed.

"Speaking of pointing out the obvious," Bill said, changing the subject, "have you noticed that Harry needs to start shaving?"

Remus nodded, frowning slightly. "I meant to do something about that when we assemble his school things this year."

"I told Mum I'd pick some stuff up for Ron this week, and I can take care of Harry at the same time if you like," Bill offered easily. "I'd prefer that my youngest brother's first experiences with a razor take place with a little more supervision than he'd get at the school, although I suppose he'll end up covered with plasters anyway. It seems to be a rite of passage."

Remus smiled.