Chapter Sixteen

She stood outside the captain's quarters, waiting for Jean-Luc to let her in. When he did not answer, she chimed the door again.

Jean-Luc muttered a curse when the door chimed. He did not want anyone to see the captain's fall from grace, so he chose to ignore it. When the door chimed again he threw the bottle at it, and it shattered against the wall. He then cursed himself for the mess he had made.

Beverly heard the crash and became concerned. She used her medical override on the door. "If he throws me in the brig, he throws me in the brig, I really don't care."

She entered his quarters and saw him sitting in the chair at his desk. The smell of whiskey filled the air. He looked up at her. "If it isn't my beautiful Beverly," he said, words slurring together slightly.

"You're drunk," was all she managed to say. She could not believe this. The ever in control captain of the Enterprise was drunk.

"Good observation. And you made it without your tricorder and all, very good."

There was really no use in talking to him tonight. She moved towards him. "I think it's time you stopped drinking and go to bed," she said in a motherly tone.

She stood there, arms folded, frowning at him.

"In all the years I knew Jack I never saw him..."

"Drunk," she finished.

"Don't you start making comparisons between your beloved husband and myself," His body tensed as if he planned to leap from the chair at any moment.

Beverly looked at him, could see the pain that she had caused him. "I'm sorry, that I hurt you. I know why you left that night. I know what I said, that's why I came tonight. To tell you...."

He shot from the chair and was around the desk before Beverly had time to react. He was standing so close to her that she was forced to sit on the desk. So close that the booze washed over her in waves. His hands came up around her neck.

"Let go of me," she said calmly.

"You were smiling in your sleep, I thought it was because of me. Then you called me Jack," his hands tightened around her neck. "I wanted to kill you."

"Jean-Luc, it's you I love, not Jack. I was dreaming of him, yes, but, we were saying good-bye. I love you. Not Jack. I love you."

The look in her eyes cut through the haze of alcohol that befuddled him. "You what?" he asked as he brought his mouth to hers, kissing her.

Beverly parted her lips, her hands moving up his chest. His tongue moved through her mouth. He leaned over her, one hand sending everything on the desk crashing to the floor. Then she was on her back, he was coming down on her, pulling at her clothes and kissing her.

"I love you, Jean-Luc," she said into his mouth.

"Beverly, beautiful, Beverly," it was a murmured whisper.

He placed kisses over her face and throat, nuzzling the soft underside of her neck. Uncaring of his drink filled roughness, Beverly wrapped her arms around his neck, stroking the hair at his neck. The smell of alcohol was forgotten in her passion. She loved him, she wanted to make sure that he knew that.

His hands were shaking as he jerked her dress out of his way, leaving her naked while he torn at his pants. He freed himself just enough. He moved his body over hers, coming into her, his need to strong to wait a moment longer. As he pushed himself inside her, she gasped. He was huge, filling her completely. She trembled with the sheer wonder of him. His mouth was on her neck, his hand on her breast, while he thrust hard and fast. Beverly arched upwards. He groaned, then with another deep thrust he lay still.

On the brink of ecstasy, Beverly lay trembling in anticipation as he lay on top of her. She realized that he was sated. She lay there her hands stroking his neck and head, willing back her disappointment. But her body still throbbed and ached.

He pulled himself off her, "See what happens when you tell me you love me, I can't control myself?"

Beverly sat up on the desk top, drawing her knees close to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

"You really did mean it?"

"Of coarse I meant it. I love you. I've loved you for a long time."

*He's as vulnerable as I am,* she thought in amazement, and all the tenderness she had tried for years to suppress came flooding to the surface.

She got to her knees moving the short distant across the desk to where he stood at the edge. She slid her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I love you," she whispered, again, watching him. He did not move. Then his eyes brightened and a smile came across his lips.

"What about Casperson?"

"David is just a friend."

"Good, I thought it might be something more."

Beverly decided that she would save all the details of her relationship with David for another day.

"It's you that I want, it's you that I love, Jean-Luc, no one else."

He took her into his arms, pulling her off the desk to carry her across the room and into his bedroom. He lay her down on the bed. Then began tugging his clothing off. She got to her knees helping him pull the uniform shirt off. He sat on the bed to pull his boots off, she leaned over him, her naked chest pressed against his hard back. He stood up again, she took in the sight of his muscled chest and abdomen. When he pulled of his pants to reveal his narrow hips and strong legs, Beverly felt her heart quicken. When he turned completely towards her, her heart stopped. He was huge and stiff, ready for her.

He went to her, engulfing her in his arms. Beverly clutched his head, bringing his mouth to hers. His fingers slid into her hair to cup her head. She was stunned to feel the unsteadiness of those fingers. Vulnerability was so seductive when it appeared in Jean-Luc.

Her throat was long, soft, pulsing . He stroked it with his lips, nibbled at the firm slope of it. Her almost soundless moan vibrated against his lips. He loved the feeling.

He moved his lips across her shoulder to her breast, his mouth closed around it, pulling it deep inside. She cried out at his touch, her long, smooth legs moving restlessly over his. She groaned in impatience, she wanted him completely.

His mouth continued it's mission as his hand slid down her body, stroking her wetness, making her wither beneath him. Long moments later her breasts flushed and damp, heaving with the choked breaths rasping in her throat. "Please, Jean-Luc. Now, please."

*Can she need me as much as I need her?* he wondered.

He brought his lips to hers, again, positioning himself between her thighs. He ran his fingers along her thighs. She pushed herself into his hand, straining for him to fill her. "Now, Jean, now."

The husky demand crushed the last of his restraint. His hips pressed into her, filling her until he could bury himself no deeper. Only then did he pause, wishing he could stop time, making this moment last eternally. She loved him, she had said it. It was him, not Jack. Soft, strong arms held him tightly, and finally he found the place he had dreamed of for twenty years; he was in her loving arms.

The rhythm overtook him, sweeping him along. He fought his release, trying to postpone the culmination. Then Beverly withered beneath him and cried out his name, her body convulsing around him, he knew the limit of his control had been reached. He moaned, his body bowing into an explosive, mind shattering climax. He buried his face in her throat and tried to believe he'd never have to let her go. "I love you, my beautiful Beverly."

"I love you, more than you could now," she sighed, wrapping her arms tightly around him, holding him close. "I'll try to remember to tell you every day."

Jean-Luc held her, stroking her hair and placing light kisses on her shoulder. "You'll be here when I wake up?" It was almost a plea. "After all, we have lots of missed breakfasts to make up for."

"I'll be here," Beverly whispered.

Chapter Seventeen

Ten minutes later he was softly snoring. Lying curled against him, her head resting on his shoulder. She hoped that he was not the kind of drunk who forgot everything that happened when they awoke. She didn't want to leave, but realized that she could not be caught leaving the captain's quarters in the morning wearing the dress she had worn to the reception.

Beverly kissed him lightly, getting out of bed. She walked into the living area and retrieved her dress from the floor. As she straightened her body, her head began to spin and she felt sick to her stomach, she bolted to the bathroom and threw up for the second time that night. "He gets drunk and I throw up, that hardly seems fair," she thought.

She finished dressing, looked in on Jean-Luc's sleeping form. "I'll be back shortly," she whispered, then slipped from his room. Will and Deanna happened to turn the corner just as Beverly left the captain's room, she turned in the opposite direction as they had come from and never saw them.

"I hope this means they have made up," Will said, looking at Deanna, hoping she would add her two cents in.

"I would guess so. Beverly seems very happy."

Beverly entered her quarters and changed into her uniform. Then she left for sickbay where she planned to get something for the headache Jean-Luc was certain to have in the morning.

She heard someone call her name, she turned around quickly, and a sudden wave a dizziness hit her again, she grabbed the end of the table to steady herself. Alyssa came to her side, holding on to her, "Are you okay, Dr. Crusher?" she asked concerned.

"I'm fine, just got dizzy for a second," she said, smiling at the woman. "I just came to get something. I really have to go."

Beverly took a few steps when another wave a nausea hit her, she put her hand to her stomach. Alyssa came to her side once again, "You sit down here," she said pointing to the bio-bed. I'll go get a doctor to take a look at you."

"This isn't necessary," Beverly began but before she finished Alyssa had motioned a young doctor over.

The young man scanned Beverly and smiled. "What seems to be so amusing Dr. Dankin?"

Beverly asked.

"Nothing, Dr. Crusher. I'm happy to report all is fine, and that you are three weeks pregnant."

"Excuse me," was all a very stunned Beverly could say.

"Yes, ma'am, you are pregnant."

"It's a little early to be having morning sickness."

"I guess the little one just wanted to make sure you knew," Alyssa beamed.

"Thank you," Beverly said as she slid of the bio-bed. "I have to be going."

*Pregnant.* Beverly thought as she walked through the Enterprise. *Pregnant?*

She entered Jean-Luc's quarters again, she wanted to be able to wake up in his arms. She slid out of her uniform, running her hand over her stomach. "A baby?" she smiled.

She got into bed next to Jean-Luc. He wrapped his arms around her. She curled into his body and lay there. "Boy do I have a surprise for you when you wake up. . . daddy," she smiled, kissing his chest. She loved him, she held no more doubts about that. The guilt over loving him was purged, the ghosts gone. Beverly was happy and content. "I hope you're ready for fatherhood," she thought aloud as she drifted into sleep, a smile playing upon her lips.