What is up everyone... It's been a long time, eh? Sorry for the delay... because last week I was quite busy celebrating my important religious holiday. That's right... it's Eid al-Fitr. I am a Muslim, you see... Now I have enough time to go back to writing, anyway...

Oh yes... if there are some of you who might be a little confused with Jewel's mood swings in the previous chapter, you should browse about 'eccedentesiast'

Now, enjoy this chapter... and happy reading...

"This is..." I was somewhere, had seen this before, "Blood...!" my two trembling wings covered in blood with petals drowning in a pool of blood...

Then I see something that really scares me...

"Aggrghh...!"

I then shouted, when I realized that this was in my room... my messy room... my body covered with wet papers from my cold sweat...

"Nightmare, huh?" I muttered to myself...

It turns out what I see before... the blood... apparently was a dream... but why did the dream look so real?

I felt the cold through my wet feathers. After I see it's my window still opened so cold wind can infiltrate in. I'm walking toward the window... The atmosphere is still dark, I think it's still midnight... because I can clearly see the beautiful view of the lake that reflects the moonlight.

"The lake is so shining..." I muttered to myself in this silent room, "Oh yes... I'll start writing again, eh..."

Seeing the lake, reminds me of this afternoon's events... where the ferocious girl forced me to write my new story for next month's cultural festival.

"I never thought I'd go back to writing..." I then closed my window, and looked at my desk with a blank paper and a pencil beside it...

"Well, I'm going to find an idea for my story tomorrow at school..."

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The next day...

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The clink of wall-clock echoed inside the silent school library in the next day. Just Jewel and me again are in it. Five weeks before the cultural festival begins, and during that time I'm going to write my own story...

Well, at first I planned like that...

"Arhg...!" I yelled hysterically, breaking the silence. I sat on a chair staring at the sheet of paper on the table, pressing both my temples hoping to get an idea, "I've no idea what the heck I want to write!"

"Irresponsible... pathetic... procrastinator... shiftless... timid... useless ... unreliable ... worst... weak..." Jewel's comment is really very rude and condescending. She stood in front of the open window, which led to the schoolyard, where the athletes of this school are practicing as usual.

Her words were so cynical, but I tried my best to ignore them...

"It's indeed useless..." I said in despair, "I'm really running out of ideas..."

"Hey..." Jewel stepped closer to me, "May I ask you one thing?"

"Huh?" I turned my chair, "Yeah, sure..." I replied in a limp voice.

She looked at me for a moment with a smile, "What kind of story do you want to write? How will you write that story? For what purpose do you write that story? for whom do you write that story?"

"Hey, isn't that more than one?" I responded without excitement.

"That's right!" she shouted, startling me until make me fall to the floor.

With a surprised face, and lying on the floor I stared at her, waiting for her words...

"To find all the answers, you must imagine... imagine what you want to pour in that plain white sheet," she said firmly, "Draw everything in your mind in sentence form!"

I get up, and justify the seat position, "Of course, all writers must be like that."

"Oh really...?" Jewel's grinning at me, "Well then... have you got all the answers?"

"Ah..." I fell silent... It's true what she said, I haven't got all the answers. Because it's from the beginning, I never thought I'd write like I was before.

Suddenly...

The sound of broken glass sounded so clearly from behind us followed by a baseball rolling toward my talons, "This is..."

Then...

"Blu...!" the shouting voice followed by the sound of the opened door, Gracie came in her baseball uniform, then saw the baseball near my talons, "Ah... that's it." she picked it up, and was about to get out, "Okay... see-"

"No way...!" I exclaimed, saw something that surprised me a lot,"The window broke again...! This is the third time!"

"It's okay, it's okay... it's just a window..." Gracie responded in a casual, innocent tone.

"Just a window... you say?" I sighed, holding back this annoyance, "Well, what can I do... I will report this damage again to the vice-principal..."

"Okay then... I leave it to you." Gracie immediately left, without feeling guilty.

"Hey! Wait! You're coming too!" I said, staring at Gracie who was about to leave the room.

"Sorry! I still have practice!" she's then running hurriedly down the hallway.

"My goodness... she always makes excuses." I grumbled, "Though the vice-principal here is famous for being very talkative. Haah... I'll be home late again... "

"Then... I will accompany you." said Jewel, who was standing behind me.

I looked at her, "Thanks..."

I'm grateful, it turns out I'm not alone...

"No need to thank. Besides, both of us are using this library." she continued, smiling at me.

"Right..." I walked to the splinter glass and was about to pick them up.

But...

"Don't!" Jewel shouted at me, holding my wings, "Your wings will get hurt!"

I paused for a moment, in puzzlement I asked, "Why, indeed? We have to clean up this mess, right?"

"I-I mean... use a broom. That's right, broom..." she continued shyly,"I'll borrow it from the next class, you wait here for a while." she then walked out.

This place isn't so dark because the sun still shines all over this place, and it's not quiet because I hear talon-steps approaching me...

"Here..."

That step was hers... she walked in while bringing two brooms...

"Thanks..." I grabbed it.

"I told you, there's no need to thank." she replied, "It's our responsibility, isn't it?"

No, I'm not grateful for that... I just can't tell her yet, because at last I already know what I want to write on that dusty white sheet...

A few hours later...

The sky was already darkened, the warmth of the sun turned into the cold of the moon. Lonely schoolyard... no students seen, only me standing in this empty schoolyard, staring at the clear, starry night sky...

"Impossible! It's already night!"

But again, I'm not alone... because I'm with her... Jewel. She stepped out, walked toward me.

"So... you already know what I feel, don't you?" I asked, grinning to tease her.

"Yeah... maybe..." her answer seemed flat.

"Maybe... you say?" I mumbled... feeling a bit disappointed that her reaction was not what I expected.

Then we walked side by side...

The rhythm of our steps sounded harmonious on a quiet street... the lights are already turned on, the atmosphere of the night began to feel. A warm breeze turns into a cold wind on a spring night...

While walking, Jewel grumbled, "What the heck was the vice principal thinking? Forbid us to use that library again! Though we are willing to take full responsibility..."

"What can we do about it if it has been his decision." I replied casually, "The good thing is we're given the freedom to use the storeroom in the attic, right?"

She took a deep breath, "Well, maybe you're right..." her frustration began to subside. She's now walking in front of me, whether I am slowing my pace, or she is speeding up hers.

"After all, It's good to have such a private room at school..." I continued, looking at her back.

This sensation... this sky... this road... a tree across the street, a swing that hangs down, no doubt, this is exactly like three years ago, a tragedy that has been forgotten. Slowly it reappears in my mind... bloody flower tragedy...

Jewel's POV

"Is that really the way it is?" I asked hopelessly, but strangely no answer from him when I realized if I had preceded him, "Blu...? Are you listening to me?"

Shortly after I turned, I found him kneel down staring at the ground... he closed his beak as if his belly contents rebelled want to get out...

"Blu!" Of course it worries me about his condition... and of course I ran to him who still restrained his bowels from coming out, "Blu! Are you okay?!"

He still cannot answer me, because he's still trying not to vomit the contents of his stomach...

'Oh God...! Have I forced him too much? What have I done?' feelings of guilt blanketed my mind,'I'm too selfish... I'm too hopeful he's back to being a writer, when I know how his condition... I really am a dumb bird!'

"Okay... we rest in the park first, yes..." I told him after seeing our position not too far from a small park with a bench under bright lights.

A few moments later...

"Here you go..." I gave him a bottle of mineral water. His nausea, I think it's starting to subside after he has vomited his stomach contents.

"Thank you..."

We sat on the park bench, just the two of us... under the light that quite illuminated around us...

"Are you alright?" I asked him worriedly.

Blu silent for a moment, until he told me the reason... he told me everything in his mind,"Three years ago, on my mother's funeral... an incident that happened shortly after I left my mother's last resting place. In addition to the many flowers that bloomed, the petals also fell on the lonely streets. Right on the road we passed earlier... right where I stood there... I saw a kid who was playing a swing with joy. The branch above that kid was very fragile, as fragile as its leaves in autumn... the branch then fall like those petals on that day."

"Oh no... was the child okay?" I asked in surprise at his past story.

"I was hoping to be like that." he continued his story, "I who saw a tragedy that will happen right before my eyes, immediately ran towards that kid, and pushed her with all my might, hoping that the big branch wouldn't hurt her."

"Then... did you succeed?" I asked again.

"No..." his face now shows a fear which soon I will understand, "I was too hard pushing her... as a result, I accidentally bumped her little head into a stone that covered by petals."

I'm completely speechless now...

"The petals drowned in that kid's blood," he went on, then raised his two trembling wings, "And the blood also changed the color of my wings to red, as red as her face..."

I really can't say anything about this... I never thought a writer that I admire has a very dark past... this is something I don't know about him. But what I know is that he's been holding his guilt up until now... he's been living in misery all the time in his guilt.

"Hey Blu..." I began to speak, "Then, what about her condition?"

"I don't remember... because after I had a lot of red sights in front of my eyes, I fell unconscious," he began to continue his dark tale,"After that, I woke up in a room in the hospital and found if my wings started shaking often... but maybe this is my luck... the kid was fine, even though she needed a massive blood donation... that kid survived."

If I don't hold it... my tears will wet my cheeks after hearing his answer... I feel a little relieved because there is a glimmer of light in his dark past...

"But still... I don't deserve to be a writer, do I?" he looked at me, with a look of regret,"These two trembling wings should be used to make people happy, not make people suffer! This is a punishment for me, I really should stop being a writer..."

But apparently...

Chapter 10 : Shadows Whisper

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He still lives in the shadow of his guilt...

And done...

Okay guys... thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. If you either like it or not make sure to leave a review... you may criticize, advise, or do whatever you want. But nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy it...

And now, I'll see you later in my next CoL...