Absolute Power, Chapter 9

FULL CIRCLE

Wearing the captain's rankbar filled Chakotay with twisted, conflicted emotions.

In the Maquis, during battle, they'd never worn any pips or bars to differentiate between various ranks. The leather uniforms they wore and the individual command presence they held was all that told their tales of experience. It had, of course, been a tactical decision. In case someone was lost in combat, no trace of his or her rank was to be left behind. After all, the Maquis were a covert fighting force, struggling against the injustice they'd suffered at the hands of a larger bureaucracy.

Rankbars and pips were the legacy of the Starfleet.

However, after almost six years in the Delta Quadrant, the time had now come for Chakotay to take charge, and don the captain's uniform.

The announcement had been made quietly and without fanfare, after the conclusion of the memorial service they'd held for their lost comrades. Greg Ayala, Joe Carey, Kenneth Dalby, Geron Tem. Kendrick, Tabor, Lang, Larson, among others. All good men and women—Maquis and Starfleet alike—who'd served Voyager with all their hearts and gotten killed for no good reason.

There was as little reaction to the announcement of his taking command of the ship as there was to the decision of making Tuvok the First Officer and to promoting a handful of command crewmembers to higher ranks. Tom Paris was once again a Lieutenant. As was Harry Kim, who—Chakotay thought—had genuinely earned this rank after all these years.

These were vital, unavoidable command decisions.

The crew of Voyager had suffered a betrayal unlike any Starfleet crew—or any crew for that matter—could endure in a sane universe. They'd been robbed by the one whom they'd put their faith in so many years ago. There was anger, disbelief, agony in their suffering eyes, and it made Chakotay's heart ache in ways he couldn't describe. When he looked back in his life, he couldn't compare this madness to anything he'd ever experienced—not even to the desperate Maquis days, when day in and day out he'd led his cell into battle against the vicious Cardassians in the midst of what had then seemed like unconquerable odds.

In so many ways, this betrayal, this wound was worse than anything an outside enemy could inflict.

Chakotay's walk through the ship after the announcement was made was greeted by subdued acknowledgement of his new role as the captain. He could sense a little uneasiness, a little hesitancy amongst those who had been most loyal to Janeway. But they were far and few between. The rest of them just seemed overwhelmed by the fact that he was actually willing to talk to them, to visit them in person, to apologize to them, and to take their hands in his own and pledge his allegiance to their pain and to the promise of their safety.

For some reason, he couldn't keep himself still. Everything this crew had been through was constantly on his mind, eating away at his conscience. He kept thinking that perhaps if he'd been more alert, if he'd paid more attention to what Janeway had said to him, if he hadn't been so out of his mind with anger and shock at her accusations that he hadn't been able to even think straight, perhaps then all this could have been prevented.

Janeway. He had visited her in the brig but the Doctor had her sedated. He had told Chakotay that she had gone through a few violent episodes and it was for her own safety that he had sedated her. Chakotay realized he was no closer to finding out why she had acted the way she had. Perhaps the answer lay in the datalogs Tom and Harry had found traces of in their hunt, and which Seven had eventually decrypted.

In the afternoon, when he'd briefly returned to his old office to gather a few things, he'd found the replicator beeping and the computer announcing that his lunch was ready to be served. A bowl of piping hot tomato soup and a generous helping of vegetable crème spaghetti, Chakotay didn't have to check the computer logs to know it had come courtesy of Tom Paris.

Tom. Spirits, he wanted to talk to Tom so badly but he knew the younger man had been busy in the Navigation Array on Deck 12 for the past sixteen hours and he simply hadn't had the chance to talk to him. Chakotay knew there were a lot of repairs still needed there.

B'Elanna had finally come to talk to him the previous night. He couldn't believe she had actually apologized for acting weird with him. He didn't know where she'd gotten that idea. She had done nothing wrong. He didn't know why she thought he would be upset with her. He knew it was irrational of him to expect her to feel easy talking about Tom to him but he was grateful she'd come over to clear up all the fuzzy details, and get everything out in the open.

Now he just had to fix everything with Tom.

Soon. Chakotay sighed. He'd do it soon.

He rode the turbolift down to Deck 6 and walked into Transporter Room 1. Tuvok commed to let him know his guest was waiting to be beamed onboard and he acknowledged as he nodded to the officer manning the controls.

Within seconds, Resh'lon of Du'kazinon IV shimmered onto the transporter platform.

"Great Overseer." Chakotay stepped forward. "Thank you for allowing me to see you."

"Commander, it is my pleasure." Resh'lon stepped down from the platform and the two men shook hands. "Or should I call you Captain?"

"I have taken command of Voyager," Chakotay nodded, "but I'd prefer Chakotay for now."

The Zokaa'rian tilted his head. "Then I insist on Resh'lon."

Chakotay led his visitor out into the corridor and they quietly made their way to the turbolift. He answered the Zokaa'rian's discreet queries about Voyager's status as the turbolift took them to Deck 1. Their brief sojourn onto the Bridge allowed him to introduce Resh'lon to the skeleton crew that was manning the Bridge under Tuvok's command, and then the two of them walked into the Ready Room.

He led the Great Overseer to the sofa in front of the large viewport and as they both sat down, Chakotay turned to the Zokaa'rian.

"Resh'lon," he began, his voice earnest, "I don't know where to begin, how to apologize for all the chaos that has ensued within your territory on our behalf."

There was surprise on the Zokaa'rian's face. "Chakotay, there is no reason for you to apologize. It is I who am mortified for slacking in our task to take the proper security protocols and for letting you fall into enemy hands. None of this would've happened if we had prevented that."

Chakotay took a deep breath and shook his head. "I find it impossible to believe that. The woman I called my captain and loyally served under for the last six years did NOT maliciously cause the deaths of fifteen members of our crew because we were abducted by your enemies."

The Zokaa'rian's green eyes were thoughtful. "I see that you grieve."

"They were all people I cared for," Chakotay replied. "Every single one of them I knew personally, and not one of them could be replaced or their loss compensated by anything anyone can do."

"And we are to share blame for that too." Resh'lon frowned. "What happened to you happened because instability existed in our political system."

"And what about your own loss?" Chakotay asked him. "Those thousands of innocents slain on your homeworld through Kel'kar'vheel's deception. He took advantage of the diversion her actions caused by making a much deadlier attack on you. How can I even think about or grieve my loss in front of you when I know you've suffered so much more."

Resh'lon shook his head as he sighed. "We both grieve, Chakotay. You do it because your loss is that much more personal and closer to your heart. I do it because I failed to save my homeworld from the enemy's disingenuousness. But I also know that even though we've suffered a greater loss in terms of numbers, we now have a clearer picture of who is behind the disruption we've faced in the last many years. We now know the culprits and we won't stop until we've pursued and punished every last one of them."

"I don't know what to say, Resh'lon." Chakotay settled back on the sofa. "I don't have the words that could possibly measure up to your well-spoken and thoughtful observations." He stared at the Zokaa'rian. "Do you know how Kel'kar'vheel was able to evade the authorities? When Tuvok went to Deb'rar sector with the evidence, Kel'kar'vheel had disappeared."

"It appears he had informants at all levels of the Sovereignty's hierarchy." There was bitterness in Resh'lon's voice. "He'd apparently known that he'd been found out the moment your Borg crewmember presented the decrypted signature code to the Observer on Voyager."

"And he disappeared."

"We'll find him." Resh'lon's face was tight. "We know the people he used, the people he worked with, the alliances he made outside our domain. Like those Xaolns and the contemptible third parties he corresponded with in the slave trade of exotic species. All that is being exposed as we speak."

But there was so much more going on. Chakotay stared into the Zokaa'rian's eyes.

"What will happen to Kel'nohr?"

"Changes at the highest governmental levels are already taking place," Resh'lon replied. "Believe me, Chakotay, the Kel'zians are a remarkable people. They're open-minded, hardworking, honest. They will thrive now that Kel'kar'vheel is gone."

"I hope it all works out for them and that they aren't targeted for what he did."

Resh'lon shook his head. "Nothing of the sort will happen. However, it's the fate of the High Council I am most worried about."

"How do you mean?" Chakotay asked.

Resh'lon sighed. "They're not the clean, untainted lot I used to cherish them to be, Chakotay. They've been used to Kel'kar'vheel's duplicity and bribery for so long now they're finding it impossible to adjust to his so obvious degeneracy."

"I am sorry," Chakotay said simply.

"As am I." The green eyes brightened suddenly. "But it's for the better I suppose. All those people who had been saving Kel'kar'vheel's despicable acts for so long are now being exposed for their own corruptions. I wouldn't be shocked if these corruptions go all the way up to the System King. To think if it hadn't been for the evidence your crew recovered, they would've allowed Kel'kar'vheel to implicate you and your crew in a crime you hadn't committed."

"It was a tough situation."

Resh'lon's gaze was enigmatic as he looked into his eyes. "You're too diplomatic, Chakotay. You still don't want to hurt my feelings so you're sparing me from what you really think of this despicable state of affairs."

Chakotay shrugged. "I feel it's not my place to pass judgement on your government, Resh'lon. We've met many good people here. How can we forget them?"

"And how can I cast aside the way Kel'kar'vheel played all of us?" Resh'lon sighed. "He was waiting for you to be executed, and for your crew to be destroyed or thrown into Zokaa'rian prisons to languish for the rest of their lives."

Chakotay nodded. "He had seen the situation from every angle, and he had the reach to implement his plans in the highest levels of the bureaucracy."

"And they almost let him."

Chakotay felt a frown form on his forehead. "But if Kathryn Janeway hadn't played into his hands and caused the destruction she did, none of that would've happened."

The Zokaa'rian observed Chakotay quietly for a moment and then he asked. "How's your crew reacting to this situation?"

Chakotay sighed. "They're in shock. They've been betrayed by the one they relied upon the most. But they're resilient. They will survive."

"I am sure with you at the helm, they'll thrive too." The Zokaa'rian shifted forward in his seat. "Chakotay, please tell me how else I can assist your crew in the ship's repairs?"

Chakotay looked at him. "You have been more than generous to provide the shipyard facilities as you have."

"About the Zokaa'rian personnel whom we had provided before, I've gotten clearance from the authorities and they want them to return to Voyager to assist your crew again."

"That won't be necessary." Chakotay shook his head, keeping his face and voice calm. "I've discussed the repair situation with all the department heads and we've come to the realization that your repair facilities are more than adequate help. We would like to keep the personnel in-house at the moment."

The truth was, he and Tuvok had discussed the situation at length and decided it would be best if they kept the locals off Voyager until all necessary repairs had been made. Too much had happened in this domain for them to take any more risks. Now all he wanted was for them to get out of this territory as soon as possible.

"I see." Resh'lon looked at him, and it seemed he could read his mind, for his knowing eyes were filled with regret. "I don't blame you for your hesitancy, Chakotay. You've been let down by the Sovereignty as well."

Chakotay sighed and leaned forward in his seat, hoping his voice was as earnest as he felt inside. "Resh'lon, you've been a great support for us in the toughest of times. I don't know how I can ever pay you back."

For a moment, the Zokaa'rian Great Overseer stared at him. And then a mysterious glint came in his eyes. "There is one way you can," he said. "By bringing your government and mine together in an alliance as soon as you reach home."

"Of course," Chakotay replied and then shrugged. "But that won't be for at least several years, give or take a few anomalies here and there."

That mysterious glint was still in the green eyes as Resh'lon slowly smiled. "Speaking of anomalies..."

There was a pause during which the strangest feeling came over Chakotay. The feeling that told him something important was about to happen.

"Resh'lon?" he asked.

"Chakotay," the Zokaa'rian looked into his eyes, "that subspace travel technology the Pro Councilor was talking about was not just a grandiose claim on his part."

Chakotay stared at him, his heart suddenly beating very fast. "What are you saying?"

Resh'lon smiled. "We have in fact a very advanced subspace technology that makes use of a unique spatial anomaly in the Wil'raken sector, only fifteen light years away from here."

"Go on," Chakotay urged, breathing very, very slowly.

Resh'lon of Du'kazinon IV reached out and clasped Chakotay's hand in a warm grip.

"I have appealed to the High Council in the light of all that you and your crew have suffered," the Zokaa'rian explained. "As soon as the repair work to your vessel is finished, they've granted Voyager the exclusive use of the technology in order to get you to the Alpha Quadrant."

"It was a prototype vessel, designed to be used in the Federation's war against the Cardassians."

Tuvok observed Chakotay lift his eyes from the datapadd in his hand and look at him. "But the accident occurred on its first ever test run."

"That is correct," he replied. "An unknown malfunction occurred in mid-flight and the shuttle crashed over the polar caps of Tau Ceti Prime."

A frown formed between the captain's brows. "I remember hearing about it when I was in the Academy. It was big news in those days. Admiral Janeway was a renowned scientist, his contributions in astrophysics were phenomenal."

Tuvok nodded. "That is correct as well. However, the cause of the crash was never ascertained and the bodies never recovered."

For a moment, Tuvok saw a small hint of compassion appear in Chakotay's eyes—that inherent sensitivity very much part of his personality. And then he dropped his eyes to the padd again, his facial features becoming smooth once more—as if he'd remembered whom they were actually talking about.

"Seven did a good job of recovering this file," Chakotay said. "But I still can't make heads or tails out of this message."

"The file is corrupted," Tuvok said. "The segments that are recovered are still incomplete and in all probability are irretrievable because of the damage done to the relays during the attack."

"But the segments that were recovered do mention the Tau Ceti Prime incident." Chakotay looked at him. "Could that be what caused her breakdown?"

Tuvok considered the facts at his disposal. "It is possible. Kathryn Janeway was only a cadet at the time and from what I know of her relationship with her family, the experience of surviving the shuttle crash which killed her father and fiancé was devastating to her."

Chakotay pressed his lips together and this time, Tuvok could not read his eyes. "She saw them die in front of her eyes."

"She was thrown clear from the craft before the crash occurred," Tuvok replied. "It is believed Admiral Janeway and Justin Tigue also survived the crash but could not escape the shuttle in time and were subsequently drowned in the lake."

"And in the last datastream…" Chakotay's eyes were once more on the padd as he leaned forward in his seat. "For some reason, Admiral Houston sent her a missive mentioning the Tau Ceti Prime crash, immediately after which she systematically disrupted all command systems on board Voyager, booby-trapped the entire ship so that no one could stop her without having half the systems blowing up in their faces, stole the Delta Flyer, and attacked fifteen Zokaa'rian vessels."

Tuvok looked at him. "Admiral Houston was the officer in charge of the investigation for the Tau Ceti Prime incident."

His eyes still on the padd, Chakotay shook his head. "I can't believe it was just a coincidence."

Tuvok raised a brow. "Logic would imply that it was not."

Chakotay looked up at him. "I won't argue with logic in this instance, Tuvok."

However, there was much more than logic at work here, Tuvok thought. If one were to connect the dots of this convoluted puzzle, then one could also construe the link between Kathryn Janeway's ill-fated collapse and the fact that she had taken extreme offense to Captain Chakotay's interaction with Lieutenant Paris in the Xaoln prison. Chakotay had not said a word to him about it, or to anyone else for that matter. But Seven of Nine had come to make her report to Tuvok after Chakotay was finally vindicated of any wrongdoing. She had told Tuvok how Kathryn Janeway had physically assaulted Chakotay and threatened him with harm for his supposed betrayal.

And yet, Kathryn Janeway had also made the recording of the videofeed, which had gotten Chakotay in trouble in the first place, long before the issue of his involvement with Lieutenant Paris had become known to her. Therefore, it was equally logical to conclude that the instruments of her disintegration had already been there, they had simply been waiting to be instigated. The chaotic events of the last few days had merely provided the spark that had given life to the blaze that had eventually enveloped her.

"The technology seems sound," Chakotay had partially turned the screen of the computer terminal on his desk towards Tuvok and was studying the data visible on it so Tuvok too attempted to bring his focus to the subject at hand. "It seems somewhat similar to the slipstream technology we experimented with sometime back."

"As well as to the Borg transwarp technology," Tuvok added. "However, unlike the slipstream and the Borg transwarp conduits, the subspace compression anomaly this technology uses is naturally occurring, not artificial."

A frown appeared between Chakotay's brows. "It is indigenous to this particular sector."

"That is what the data infers," Tuvok said. "The new High Minister from the Academy of Sciences has been most accommodating with sharing of the details of this technology."

"The Great Overseer assured me of that," Chakotay said. "His position in the Council is much stronger now than it was ever before."

"I believe his improved standing bodes well for the future of the Sovereignty and especially for the Zokaa'rian worlds in this sector."

"Let's hope you're right, Tuvok." Chakotay looked at him before he lowered his eyes to the screen again. "It's the same technology they used to bring us inside the subspace fold, and to help us receive the datastream from Starfleet."

"Yes." Tuvok nodded. "However, they used the technology to merely open a rift in subspace to bring Voyager in and to retrieve the datastream. Getting Voyager to the Alpha Quadrant would require the opening of a much longer sustained conduit."

Chakotay's eyes were on the screen as his fingers moved on the console. "According to these calculations, Voyager will travel more than thirty thousand light years in just eighty-nine point seven hours."

"It is a fast and efficient way of traveling indeed."

"What effect would the conduit's gravimetric forces have on our structural integrity?"

"The Zokaa'rian scientists have provided us with enhanced shield modification matrices which should help Voyager endure the gravimetric pressure. Since we've limited the manpower to only Voyager crewmembers, the repair work has been somewhat slower. It will take another week to get all the repairs and modifications done and have the warp engines back online."

"This changes everything, doesn't it?" There was marvel in the captain's eyes as he looked at Tuvok. "We always thought we'd reach the Alpha Quadrant one day, but in space, thousands of light years away from home, nothing was certain. Yet, here, within the last few weeks, this crew has been through so much. We've lost people who were our friends, our comrades; we've gone through radical changes overnight, and now we're going home. How will the crew adapt to these changes?"

"This crew is already adapting, Captain." Tuvok looked at Chakotay. "With the exception of a rare few, each and every one of them stayed together at the time of adversity when you had been apprehended, and they're now united under your command. Surely, there are uncertainties in their minds because of the adversities they've faced in the last few days, however, there is no doubt in my mind—they are ready to go home."

Still, there was uncertainty in Chakotay's eyes, a strange hint of anxiety lingering after the predicaments of the last few days. Suddenly Tuvok had the most unreasonable urge to relay the details of his vision to the captain. The vision that he had seen approximately three weeks before in a meditation session and which had held an uncanny resemblance to events he had been a witness to through his mindmeld with the Xaoln prisoner.

He did not know what the status of Chakotay's relationship with Lieutenant Paris was now but he knew it would be unwise to ignore the significance of a vision that had so astoundingly come true under the most perplexing circumstances.

His quandary thus resolved, Tuvok laid the padd in his hand on top of Chakotay's desk, looked into Chakotay's eyes, and began to speak.

Tom Paris bid farewell to Ensign Callahan as he walked out of Science Lab 2. His shift had ended two hours ago but he had stayed to finish the realignment of the sensor emitters. With the repairs to the navigational array due to be completed day after tomorrow, he'd wanted to get this part of the job done tonight.

God, he was tired and he was famished. It seemed as if they'd been repairing Voyager forever. Which in a way was true. They had been repairing the ship ever since they'd met the Detarians five weeks ago. Plus any initial repair work they had been able to finish with the help of the Zokaa'rians had been ruined by Janeway's madness.

And he'd thought his situation with Chakotay had been the height of all dilemmas.

Well, he'd found out the hard way that there were worse things than falling in love with a guy you'd pushed away all your fucking life with your snide remarks and wise-guy attitude. For one, you could almost lose that same guy in an alien conspiracy indictment that asked for execution of all criminals.

That had given Tom the biggest scare of his life. After all they'd been through, after all Voyager and its crew had experienced, after all that he had shared with Chakotay, and after all that Janeway had done to the ship, he had come this close to losing Chakotay in a forged alien scam.

If it hadn't been for the Borg sensors that had recorded the transmission of that videofeed, he didn't know what they would've done. He didn't even want to think about it.

Chakotay was alive. He'd been vindicated. Hell, he was the captain now. Things were as normal as they could be in these crazy times. As for Janeway, he didn't want to spend too much energy thinking about her. He'd seen people die in front of him because of what she'd done. He'd dragged scorched bodies out from under burning conduits. People like young Ensign Tabor, who had been trapped in Jeffries tube 13 when that section of the deck had been transformed into an inferno—his body had been scorched almost beyond recognition. He'd seen the consequences of her actions from up close. No, he didn't want to think about her right now.

As Tom got into the turbolift and called for his deck, he knew he had other important issues to settle.

Like getting the newly minted captain to sit down and talk to him about life.

With a sigh, Tom leaned back and closed his eyes, feeling the hum against the turbolift wall as it slowly descended.

He knew Chakotay was busy, that he had to look at every issue that arose. Hell, the man had so many problems on his shoulders right now, Tom had hardly even seen him lately. Chakotay had always acted as the de facto counselor onboard Voyager and Tom knew the crew had never needed counseling as badly as they did now. From all that Tom had seen and heard, every time the captain hit his office, he had a long line of people waiting to talk to him—people who wanted to vent their frustrations in front of him. Tom knew Tuvok was going through the same routine and he wished he could help them somehow. After all, he was the third highest ranked officer aboard now.

Tom shook his head. From demoted ensign to Second Officer. He was no counselor, though. Not for everyone, at least. But dammit, he did want to talk to Chakotay. Sometimes he just felt like striding into his quarters and grabbing the man by his shoulders and telling him to take care of himself.

The truth was he didn't know whether to approach Chakotay under these circumstances or to let things settle down and then do it. But things weren't going to settle down anytime soon, he knew that. They were going home. This had to be resolved before that happened.

But did Chakotay want to resolve it? Tom couldn't be sure. No matter how much he tried to straighten his head out, doubts still plagued his thoughts.

The last interaction he'd had with Chakotay had been the night before Janeway's attack, when he'd found Chakotay in that harrowing frame of mind—caught between anger and despair. Chakotay had seemed on the verge of collapse then, and that had scared Tom out of his skin. But he had also thought there had been some thawing, some breaking of the ice between the two of them. He knew there were some issues that had stopped the older man from letting out his feelings in front of him but waking up alone the next morning, without even a note from the older man, had still dejected him tremendously.

He sometimes wondered if the issues disturbing Chakotay had anything to do with Janeway.

The lift stopped at Deck 8 and Tom stepped out. For the time being, he had shifted to this deck because of the damage done to his own quarters during the fire. Feeling exhaustion fill his bones, he slowly made it to his temporary lodgings, keyed in his code, and walked inside. He took off his jacket, stretching his shoulders as he approached the small viewport, and that was when he saw a light blinking on his computer terminal. He stepped closer to check.

It was a message. From Chakotay.

His throat convulsing, Tom quickly pressed the panel and the message opened.

"Tom, please have dinner with me tonight. 2000 hours. Dress casually. Looking forward to seeing you. Chakotay."

Tom sank into the small sofa seat and felt his exhaustion recede, as the beating of his heart got faster. Please let this mean something good, he sighed, as he sent a little prayer to whatever deities were looking out for him that night.

Light green was most definitely Tom's color.

Chakotay surveyed his guest from head to toe, striving hard not to be too blatantly obvious. Hair still wet from the shower, shirt crisp and soft and clean, jeans worn well and snug around the lean hips, moccasins comfortable looking and soft. Nice.

"Hey."

Chakotay came out of his visual wandering as he looked into the intense blue eyes and a smile broke on his face. "Tom, come on in." He stepped back to let the younger man in. "Make yourself comfortable."

Tom stepped inside, and Chakotay could see he was trying not to demonstrate his apprehension, but it still showed through those eyes. Chakotay watched him look around his quarters—which if truth be told, he had hurriedly knocked back in some semblance of neatness only an hour ago—before settling that gaze on Chakotay's frame. "How're you doing?"

"I am all right," Chakotay replied. "And you?"

Tom shrugged. "Getting by."

Chakotay noticed the signs of tiredness under his eyes. "You've been putting in a lot of hours with the repair teams, and I appreciate that, Tom, but you need a break now. You must be exhausted."

The truth was he had been meaning to catch up with Tom in any case. He tried not to think it was Tuvok's talk that had finally persuaded him. Chakotay did not consider himself superstitious even if he did believe in visions. He had listened to Tuvok's discourse with what had been utter astonishment but he still didn't think predestined fate had gotten him and Tom involved in the events in the Xaoln prison. He just knew that Tom was someone who had always been under his skin, had always affected him more than others, and that somehow, Tuvok, being a spiritual man, had received a vision, a warning of sorts, about an event about to occur between them in the near future.

A premonition.

And while that didn't necessarily make what he had shared with Tom fated, it did give Chakotay's confidence a boost that what had happened between them had not been a mistake. There was a guiding hand at work here. There was no place for guilt for either himself or Tom. He was about to do the right thing.

"Actually, I'm feeling much better tonight," he heard Tom say and looked up to see concern in his eyes. "You've been working like hell too."

"Occupational hazards, Tom." He smiled. They looked at each other for a moment and then Chakotay turned to the replicator. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure."

Chakotay got two glasses of cool lemonade and handed one to Tom, watching as the younger man took a tentative sip and then a longer appreciative draught.

"I hope you're hungry." He removed the lids from the dishes he'd placed on the small dining table.

"Famished," Tom said.

"Good." Chakotay gestured at the seats and as they settled down, he looked up at Tom. "I tasted your meals of choice over the past three days. Now you get to taste mine. Cream of mushroom soup. Mexican Tortillas. Herbed Pasta."

Tom breathed deeply of the aroma wafting up from the dishes as he picked up a fork. "Smells great."

"Here." Chakotay handed him a serving spoon and they both delved into the task of quenching their hunger.

He'd made the effort to come up with a menu that would soothe both their palates, and the effort seemed to have paid off when he heard Tom murmur, "I love this soup."

"Thanks. It's a modification of a recipe my mother used," Chakotay explained.

Tom looked up at him. "I didn't know you could cook." His eyes stared deep into Chakotay's for a moment, as he twirled his fork around the pasta. "Are those bread crumbs?"

Chakotay nodded. "Toasted. They compliment the pasta well."

"Nice." Tom took the forkful in his mouth and slowly chewed, lowering his gaze to the food. "Mmm. Crunchy."

Chakotay stared at him a second and then lowered his eyes to his own plate.

So they were discussing the food. Good. But he wondered if that was all that was being said. Was that why he had called Tom here? Yes, he wanted to take care of Tom after all the times Tom had taken care of him, and feeding him was part of that, but it wasn't the main reason he had invited Tom over. He had to talk to him. He had to clear the air, get everything out in the open. Tom had done his part the last time he'd talked to him and it was Chakotay's turn to speak now. He attempted to smooth the lines from his face before he looked up.

"Tom…" he began, and found Tom's eyes already on his face, their blue depths filled with anxiety.

"Chak…"

His heart thudding fast at the troubled expression on Tom's face, Chakotay swallowed heavily and then nodded. "You go first."

He saw Tom take a deep breath before he started, haltingly. "Chak, I… wanted to… apologize for the way I acted with you… on the planet."

He frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"All that… shit I said to you." Tom had put the fork down and his eyes were sparkling with a familiar emotion—it was the same look he'd seen in Tom's eyes when he'd come to save his ass in the prison. "I am so sorry, Chak, I was wrong. I should never have acted like that to you…"

"Tom—" he tried to interject but Tom wasn't listening.

"It's just that…" Tom was breathing heavily as he looked into his eyes. "I have no excuse why I said all that to you. It's so hard to explain why I went off like that. I just… want you to know that I never meant to—"

"TOM," Chakotay interrupted him. "It's all over and done with." He dropped the fork on the plate. "You… you came back for me, didn't you? I don't blame you for anything. If anything, I am amazed that you came back for me at all after all the shit I said to you."

Tom looked at him, incredulous. "What?"

Chakotay stood up and walked to the viewport, trying to collect his thoughts, and then he turned around to face Tom, feeling all his mixed up emotions swamping him. "At least I know you acted the way you did because they had you drugged." His face twisted in regret. "I had no such excuse."

A frown formed on Tom's face, as he rose from his seat. "Chakotay, I didn't say all that to you because I was drugged." He saw Tom's teeth grit. "I said all that to you because I had misunderstood you - because I had taken everything you had said the wrong way..."

Chakotay shook his head. "Tom—"

Tom lifted a hand to stop him as he continued, "And it had been going on for the past SEVEN YEARS. Ever since the Maquis." Sweltering blue eyes looked into his. "You were right, Chak. I'd been building up all that shit inside me, and even though there were times you drove me absolutely insane—and I had no idea why the hell you always got such hysterical reactions out of me—" Tom swallowed heavily as a myriad of emotions marched across his features, "I never stopped to think about it. I never had the courage to come to you to clear it up."

Chakotay couldn't believe Tom was still blaming himself. "It was not your fault!" He stepped up to grab Tom's shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. "I'm sorry I ever said that to you but I didn't call you here to listen to you blame yourself for the past, Tom."

"But I have to talk to you about this." The blue eyes were desperate. "I can't ignore this anymore. I've wanted to talk to you about this for so long. I have to get this out."

"You got it out when you came for me in that prison." Chakotay tried to keep his voice calm when inside he felt like shaking some sense into the younger man. Didn't Tom realize the debt Chakotay owed him, what Tom had done for him? "You saved my life, my sanity. Everything was resolved right there."

"But I never got to say the words." Tom's voice was strangled.

Chakotay huffed in a breath. "You showed me with your actions, Tom."

"Chakotay..."

"Tell me…" Chakotay gripped Tom's hands as he stared deep into his eyes. "That night you came looking for me near the escape pods hatch on Deck 14, you said you wanted to be with me. You said you wanted to make it work." He felt his heart thudding hard in his chest. "Would you… are you willing to give me another chance?"

Tom's eyes were wide. "Chance?"

"I've not…" Chakotay struggled to put his thoughts straight. "Tom, you've done so much for me. You've taken care of me, not once, but many times. And I have given you back nothing." He let go of Tom's hands as the realization about how selfish he'd been overwhelmed him. "I've been so absorbed in everything else around me that I've not even commed you to ask how you're doing." He felt his throat tighten. "To be honest, I'm not sure if I am even worthy of you. If you ever chose to…"

He didn't get to finish his thoughts as suddenly he found himself pushed against the viewport, a tall lean body pressed against his, as a hot, persistent mouth landed on his own, kissing him into silence. The feel of those soft, moist lips upon his mouth and the heat of Tom's strong body permeated his senses. He felt his own body react to the sensations, as Tom's hands ran down the sides of his body and that hot tongue swiped against his lips.

"Tom, no…" he moaned, lifting his mouth from the succulent lips, as he tried to hold the younger man back. His fingers sank into the soft curly hair as he held Tom's face in his hands and searched the beautiful blue eyes. "Answer me."

Tom's hands were around his head as he kissed him again. "You're crazy, Chak," he murmured against Chakotay's lips. "Did you know that?" And his mouth again latched onto Chakotay's, his hands dropping down to run along Chakotay's back.

Chakotay felt his reason running away along with the rapid beating of his heart. God, Tom felt so good, he sighed as he was pushed harder against the viewport, Tom's body sensuously rubbing against his own and for one moment he couldn't help but hold that beautiful man close and kiss him back lovingly. Their breaths mingled as their tongues tangled together and Chakotay reeled at the sweetness of that mouth, the heat of that body—all of it filling his senses.

But no, he had to get an answer; he just had to. Chakotay gripped Tom's wandering hands, as he again lifted his mouth from Tom's, and stared at the flushed face, feeling his own heart beating erratically. "I asked you a question, Tom." His voice was hoarse.

His eyes smoldering, Tom planted moist kisses along Chakotay's jaw and cheek and ear, and the look on his face almost made Chakotay give up his resistance right there. "I want you." Amidst heated kisses, Chakotay heard Tom moan. "I meant it."

"Are you sure?" He held Tom's face in his palms. "Things are not the same anymore. We're going home, Tom. You could have other options."

Tom gave him an incredulous look. "I don't want other options." He kissed Chakotay again, his hands wrapping around him desperately. "I choose you."

And then it was Chakotay kissing Tom. He gripped Tom's arms and wrapped his own around the heated thrumming body, letting his tongue push into the sweetness of Tom's mouth. He groaned as he felt Tom's erection pressing against his own through the layers of their clothing and he pressed his face into Tom's neck, kissing the throbbing pulse, his fingers digging inside Tom's shirt to run along his bare back, Tom's scent intoxicating him.

"God, Chak," Tom sighed. "I need you."

"I've missed you so much," he sighed, holding the strong body against his, as he ran his palms down the long back, molding them around that firm ass.

"But I hurt you." He heard Tom groan. "I've been blind and a coward and…"

Chakotay stopped the litany with a gentle bite along the long throat and then lifted his head to stare deep into the blue eyes. "You hurt yourself, Tom, when you think so little of yourself." He planted a firm kiss on those lush lips, as he guided Tom backwards towards the couch. "And you hurt me when you think I think so little of you." He meshed his lips with Tom's, interjecting a kiss between each word. "Don't. Ever. Talk. Like. That. Again."

He heard Tom take in a shuddering breath as Chakotay pushed him flat on the couch and then climbed on top of him, covering his body. He felt Tom's arms wrap around his shoulders. Tom kissed him hard, and then shifted his mouth so those teeth were biting his earlobe, as the younger man attempted to roll Chakotay around.

But, dammit, he was having none of it. He gripped Tom's arms, growling, as he halted his movements and lifted his head to stare into Tom's eyes. "Not like this, baby." He stared at the swollen lips, feeling his heart pound in his chest, watched the burning gaze lock with his. "Tell me, Tom, do you really want me?"

"God, yeah."

"Then let me love you tonight," said Chakotay.

"Oh, God…"

And that was all Tom could say because Chakotay covered Tom's lips with his own and was biting him and kissing him and sucking his lips, making him moan into Chakotay's mouth. How their clothes dissolved and where they disappeared to, Chakotay could not remember. All he knew was the taste of Tom's skin, as he rubbed his face against Tom's sweaty neck, the heat of Tom's body inundating him completely. Running his tongue along Tom's sternum, he linked their fingers together and held those wandering arms captive. Tom's desperate sighs and needy groans filled his ears, as he kissed the long throat, the chiseled chest, slowly making his way down the undulating body.

"Please, Chak…"

The heated length of Tom's cock bumped against his chin just as he felt those long fingers sink into his hair, as if guiding Chakotay towards the ultimate prize, and then he was kissing Tom right there, tasting his salt-sweetness, wrapping his fingers around the silky slippery thickness.

"Please…"

Yeah, I got you, Chakotay thought, as he let the hot cock slip into his throat, and swirled his tongue around the thickness. The musky male smell filled him completely, as he tongued the thick head and lapped at the precome coating the length. Tom writhed beneath him, his groans rising in volume with every swipe of Chakotay's tongue along the hard length, and he had to grip the lean hips to keep the younger man still.

Rubbing his lips along the throbbing vein, he finally allowed his teeth to carefully, gently, graze the length. But apparently, that was more stimulation than the younger man could take. Before Chakotay could pull back, he heard Tom's strangled groan as his body went taut, those fingers tangling almost painfully in his hair just as he felt the first bursts of semen on his lips. Holding the writhing body in his arms, he swallowed the length whole, letting Tom pump his release into his mouth, before the younger man sank back into the couch with a sigh.

Tom's taste consumed his senses, as Chakotay lifted himself up to stare down at the beautiful spent body. Oh yeah, he thought, feeling his breath catch in his throat, flushed pink with arousal was also very much Tom's color. Feasting his eyes on the ruddy long limbs sparsely sprinkled with blond hairs, Chakotay sought out the tube of lube he had kept under the table as a contingency plan. Tom's eyes opened and locked with his when Chakotay's fingers went exploring between Tom's legs and he saw his breath quicken.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are to me, Tom?" Chakotay leaned over him, one hand holding Tom's shoulder, as he prepared the younger man with the other, and bent down to claim those lips once more. He felt Tom's hands sliding around him to grip his ass, squeezing hard, and he kissed him harder, on the lips and chin and throat, tugging at the skin with his teeth, as they both slid off the couch and down to the carpet. Looking down into Tom's eyes, he rubbed himself luxuriantly against the hot body, feeling himself groan as their cocks slid together.

"Please, Chak…"

I know, baby, he thought. Pulling his fingers out, he held Tom's burning gaze as he coated his cock with the cool gel. He watched Tom open his legs, and then in one move, he sank into the prepared opening, feeling his eyelids flutter closed as Tom's hands once again held him close, clutching him tightly, guiding him, as he slowly, excruciatingly slid into the blissful heat.

Tom's breath hot in his ear, he felt his long fingers branding their marks on his back, felt Tom's internal embrace clasping him tightly, as he moved down to meet Tom's hot biting kisses, his hands tracing Tom's body, caressing every inch. His body thrumming with undeniable need, Chakotay was soon thrusting in to the hilt. As he felt sharp teeth bite into his shoulder and strong legs wrap around his waist, he gripped Tom's hips to realign the angle of his drives into the heated channel, ramming hard.

"Love you, Tom," he groaned, as he felt Tom's once more hard cock slide against his stomach, tracing wetness along his skin. He gripped it with his hand and pumped, watching Tom's eyes roll back at the sensations. His breath staggering, Chakotay felt the burn start at his core as Tom pulled his legs further back and he sank deeper into the clasp, the tight channel squeezing his shaft. As he pulled back and rammed in harder, a strangled gasp escaped Tom's throat, and suddenly he was thrashing in Chakotay's embrace, crying out, his body stretching tight, as his cock once again erupted, coating Chakotay's fingers with his come.

His senses on overload, and his heart bursting out of his chest, the internal clench proved too much for Chakotay who slammed into his lover once, then twice, before spending himself in hot burning spurts of release.

His breathing slowing, Chakotay fell into Tom's welcoming arms, and felt the long body wrap itself around his, as the beat of his heart slowed to match Tom's. And thus, murmuring softly in Tom's ear, holding him ever closer, he allowed himself to fall into sleep.

Tom woke up to find himself nicely ensconced in Chakotay's embrace. His head was on the older man's shoulder and his arms held the strong body secure. As he stretched, he felt twinges in parts of his body where he wasn't accustomed to getting them.

And that was when it occurred to him that they were in Chakotay's bed. He didn't remember getting there at all.

"Hey…"

Chakotay's soft whisper brought his eyes to the older man's face and there was a smile in those deep dark eyes, and Tom couldn't help but lean in to kiss those soft lips. He felt Chakotay's strong hand hold his head close, fingers dipping into his short hair as he was kissed back thoroughly.

"How did we get here?" he asked after a moment.

"Well, Tom…" Chakotay looked into his eyes, his own eyes amused, those dimples showing. "It took quite a bit of maneuvering but I managed somehow."

Tom felt his eyebrow rise. "You carried me here?"

"Maybe." Chakotay shrugged, a devilish look on his face as Tom felt the warm hands slowly caressing his back.

"Maybe?" Tom stared into his eyes, trying not to smile as he felt sweet contentment fill his senses. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you look so cute when you're confused." Chakotay grinned.

Tom started to reply when his stomach rumbled loudly and he stared into Chakotay's smiling eyes. "God, I am starving." He pouted.

"Hmm." Chakotay pulled him closer as he kissed Tom's neck. "And whose fault is that?"

"Yours, of course," Tom sighed as he tilted his head back to allow the older man better access. "You didn't let me eat last night."

"Ah, so it was all my doing, was it?" Chakotay murmured against his throat.

"Absolutely." Tom wound his arms around Chakotay's shoulders, letting his palms run down the smooth back. "You just grabbed me."

"Yeah, I think I remember doing that." Chakotay smiled, his own fingers running along Tom's sides. "I couldn't help it. You made a nice handful."

Tom pushed the older man flat on the cooling sheets as he leaned forward to stare into smoldering black eyes. "Handful of what?"

"Mmm." Chakotay's hands wrapped around his hips and then those palms cupped his backside, squeezing lightly, reviving that sweet twinge. "This." Chakotay stared deeply into his eyes. The hands then left Tom's ass and slid up to wrap around his shoulders where Tom received another squeeze. "And this." Chakotay smiled. The hands were again on the move as they shifted to Tom's chest where the fingers wrapped around first one nipple, and then the other, twisting tantalizingly, making Tom gasp. "Mmm," Chakotay murmured, his eyes burning. "And this."

Tom's hands held Chakotay's hips down, keeping him in place as he reached down to run his fingers along the reawakening cock, pulsing between the strong thighs. "And how about this?" he asked, his voice husky.

"Mmm," Chakotay groaned. "Don't remember that one."

Tom gripped Chakotay's arms and pulled them over the older man's face, as he covered the strong body with his own, the smile finally emerging on his lips.

"Then let me refresh your memory."

**The next evening**

The look on Admiral Chapman's face was one of complete astonishment.

But then Chakotay had expected such a reaction from the admiral. It wasn't every day that you gave Starfleet Command news of your captain being removed from command and confined to the brig.

"Fifteen people?" the admiral asked, his face stunned, as he digested the news of Voyager's dead crewmembers. "What did she do?"

"Rigged the entire ship, and locked all the command systems," Chakotay replied. "Almost every attempt to stop her resulted in some booby trap going off. We had to eject the warp core because of an overload and Engineering was where the most extensive damage was done. Ten of the crewmembers killed were there."

Chapman stared at him grimly, his eyes wide. "You're in command now."

Chakotay nodded. "There was no other choice. I am transmitting a file to you with all the detailed reports, Admiral. You should receive it when this transmission ends."

"Thank you… Captain," Chapman replied and somehow hearing his new rank from the mouth of a higher-ranked officer made it feel like a seal of approval. "What is Janeway's status now?" the admiral was asking.

"She's been confined to the brig and is sedated at the moment," Chakotay answered.

Chapman frowned. "Sedated?"

Chakotay tilted his head. "Unfortunately, the Doctor has no other choice in regard to keeping her under control. She becomes very violent and destructive every time she wakes up."

The admiral said, "You say she attacked civilian population?"

"She did," Chakotay replied. "Fortunately, there were no fatalities on the aliens' side."

"And this… trial that was held?" Chapman probed.

"It's a long story, Admiral." Chakotay sighed. "We have everything under control now. If all goes well, I will be able to give Starfleet a complete report in person very soon too."

"Yes." Chapman nodded, the wonder obvious on his face. "The subspace travel technology you told me about—very intriguing. I wish you good journey."

"Thank you, sir."

"I must commend you and your crew on getting everything under control, Captain," Chapman said. "I can see you've had great problems."

"I appreciate it, Admiral," Chakotay replied and then he looked into the older man's eyes. "However, I have a question."

"Yes?"

"In the last datastream that we received ten days ago," Chakotay started, "Admiral Houston had sent Kathryn Janeway a message."

"Yes, Captain?" For some reason, Chapman's voice was wary.

Chakotay stared into his eyes. "Admiral, after the damaged systems were repaired, we were able to retrieve parts of that message, and in them there was a mention of the… Tau Ceti Prime crash of 2352."

"That is right, Captain." A glint appeared in the admiral's eyes.

"Janeway… she was acting strangely before the datastream arrived," Chakotay said, "but she didn't go out of control until she got Admiral Houston's message. We assume whatever it was, it had something to do with that message because of the sensitivity of the subject matter."

"You're right, Captain." Admiral Chapman pursed his lips. "I believe that was exactly the reason why Kathryn Janeway lost control.

The grim look was back on the admiral's face as he went on. "You see, in that message, Admiral Houston, who was the officer in charge of the investigation for the Tau Ceti Prime crash, had told her that after more than twenty-four years the salvage parties had finally recovered the remains of the bodies and that, in the search, an activator switch had been discovered in the debris. He told her it was now believed that the crash had occurred because a signal had been hidden in that switch."

Chakotay's eyes widened, as a strange feeling of dread descended on him. "You mean, the crash wasn't an accident?"

Admiral Chapman stated, "No, Captain, it was sabotage."

Chakotay felt his throat tighten. "So, it was the shock of finding that out that caused her breakdown."

"No, Captain, you're mistaken." Chapman looked deep into his eyes. "I believe it was the shock that the activator switch had been found at all that caused her breakdown."

"Sir?" Chakotay frowned.

"You see, Captain, we've had some problems in the Alpha Quadrant in the past few weeks," Chapman replied. "We now know who that activator code belonged to."

Chakotay stared at Chapman. "Who?"

"The code that triggered the switch in the vessel and caused the malfunction that resulted in the crash killing Admiral Edward Janeway and Justin Tigue in 2352… belonged to none other than… Kathryn Janeway."

Continued in Epilogue