My Kingdom - chapter 10
by rose_malmaison
Rating: FRAO
Genre: Slash, DiNozzo/Gibbs
Warnings: M/M, slash, sexual situations, language
A/N: Comments and feedback are appreciated.
*** Chapter 10 ***
They divested themselves of their clothing, fast, and with some of the desperation that Jethro's initial kisses had held. Tony longed to be inside of Jethro's body, to spill his seed in his depths, to be on top of him when he had his ultimate release. He had always been the one to accept, to take what Jethro had to give, but this time it seemed important that things be different.
Tony took Jethro's face in his hands, careful of his sensitive skin, and kissed him deeply. He felt Jethro fight back, giving as good as he got, tongue battling, licking and teasing and then, slowly, Jethro's mouth softened and he moaned. One moment Jethro was on top, naked, straddling him, and the next second Tony exerted his greater weight; he rolled over and captured Jethro underneath him. Tony could see the surprise in Jethro's expression, so he laughed and ran his tongue along Jethro's neck and mouthed the soft flesh above his collarbone. He felt Jethro tense under him and grasp his arms in a painful grip, not quite willing to accept Tony as the aggressor. Tony poised, just for a second, and then he sucked hard at Jethro's tender skin. Jethro gave a strangled cry and struggled a little but he gave in when Tony licked the red mark tenderly and said, "I want to take care of you, Jethro. You'll let me do that for you?"
Jethro closed his eyes and turned his head, exposing his neck in a move that was both submissive and welcoming.
Tony nuzzled Jethro's neck and inhaled the scent that emanated from him - coffee and lingering hints of after-shave and fresh sweat - and it drove his body nearer to the edge. They were both hard, their cocks trapped between their bodies; Tony's was leaking pre-come over their bellies and he was desperate to have Jethro touch him and finish him off. It wouldn't take much but somehow, and with far more patience than he thought he possessed, Tony held back. He said, "Let me be the one."
Jethro opened his eyes and looked up at Tony expectantly, with a slight smile on his lips, his eyes drinking in everything that Tony had to offer. He reached up to brush his fingers through Tony's short hair, his eyes soft and full of wonder at the feelings that the man in his arms stirred in his heart. "Whatever you want," Jethro said.
"I want to fuck you," Tony said plainly, his need coloring his voice. "Let me take care of you…this one time." He had always been the receiver, the receptacle, and although he loved giving of himself to Jethro, and submitted more than willingly, this time he had a feeling that they both needed him to be the strong one. "I want to give this to you, Jethro, to make you feel the way you always make me feel when you're inside me, hot and full. I want you to know what it feels like. I want to give you something back…"
Jethro raised his head and kissed Tony with tenderness and passion, expressing the depth of his feelings with his mouth and hands, and the way he raised his hips to meet Tony's. He took a deep breath, his eyes still on Tony's face above him, and then he sighed out and let his muscles relax, raising one knee and offering himself fully to Tony.
For the first time that Tony could ever recall, Leroy Jethro Gibbs simply let go and allowed another person to take charge. It was no small matter of trust that Jethro was leaving everything up to Tony, to decide on what he thought was best.
Tony rained kisses on Jethro's chest, following the trail of silver-gray hair that led down his belly and to the prize. There was no doubt that Jethro was ready for him, his cock standing up and begging for attention. Tony licked and sucked at the hot, silken cock, and fondled Jethro's balls, enjoying the inarticulate noises he was able to elicit from his lover. Teeth took their toll, nipping and scraping, his tongue and lips working Jethro into a state of frustration.
Jethro moaned when Tony's mouth stopped plying its magic on his erect dick. He grasped at Tony's shaft to squeeze and stroke it until the younger man pushed his hands away. "Take it easy, Jethro. Let me do all the work. Let me take care of you." Tony massaged Jethro's inner thighs then his fingers of one hand encircled the base of his thick shaft, the other caressing his balls with slow, even strokes.
Tony reached for the lube and squeezed a generous amount on his fingertips. He kissed the corner of Jethro's mouth, where a crease had appeared that hadn't been there only a few days ago - a lifetime ago. His skin was soft, with stubble overlay that scraped Tony's cheek, rough as the sandpaper he used on his boat. Jethro angled his head, and their tongues met and explored in the age-old give and take, and in the middle of the sweet, wet kiss, Tony slipped a finger inside of him.
Jethro jerked when Tony's finger slowly entered his tight passage, and when he relaxed another finger joined it, easing in and out. Tony touched him…just there…and it wasn't long before Jethro was moaning and gasping and writhing, a shock of pleasure causing his balls to pull up tight in his body. He cried out Tony's name and swore at the younger man's smile of delight at the response to his torment. "Damn it!"
Jethro's hips rose, bucking, while he pled for more. "God, yes, Tony…there…Oh, God…"
His mouth hovering just above Jethro's, Tony ordered in a low voice, "Tell me what you want."
"Want…I want you in me. Now!"
"I'm going to fuck you, Boss," Tony replied, adding another finger to the two already deep inside his partner. He curled his fingers and Jethro's eyes widened and he jerked with a gasp. He grabbed onto Tony's shoulders, pulling himself up and off the bedding, his breaths coming faster, releasing small sounds of need with every breath he exhaled.
Jethro's moans made Tony's dick throb in response. He was so hard and aching he was afraid he was going to come at the slightest provocation, but he concentrated on what he was about to do next and was able to regain some of his fragile sense of control. Tony withdrew his fingers slowly, sorry to see a slight wince on Jethro's face.
Tony braced himself with one arm and ran his hand up and down Jethro's shaft, enjoying how it grew even harder under his touch. Running a finger across the head of Jethro's dick elicited a whimper and a plea, to which Tony responded with a fierce, possessive kiss.
Being the one calling the shots affected Tony in a way he'd never expected. He liked sleeping with men, and embraced the rough action and the sheer weight of a hard male body overpowering him; he loved the ease with which he could relinquish control and allow another man to guide him, the feeling of it being so right. But to be the man at the helm when Jethro was the vessel was a whole different kind of experience. Tony had imagined that the power that being on top evoked would make him more aggressive, but instead it brought out his nurturing, tender side. All he wanted was to give Jethro pleasure, and pleasing his lover always brought Tony a sense of satisfaction and joy in return.
Tony's body ached at the wonder of having Leroy Jethro Gibbs under him, accepting him, becoming one with him. Tony positioned himself and gently pressed, watching Jethro carefully, gratified to see a look of avid anticipation and trust on his face. He slowly eased his length into Jethro's tight passage, eliciting a whimper of response. Tony waited, his eyes never leaving Jethro's face, and once the startled look diminished Tony pulled back a little and moved back in, with a long, slow thrust. That time Jethro gasped and his hands clenched the bedding, his eyes wide and dark with desire.
Tony put all of his energy and passion into the physical movement, angling his hips one way and then another, pumping to an uneven tempo, his heart and breathing quickening, his body running on primal need. Jethro was calling out to God or maybe he was saying it was good, because Tony was deaf to the meaning of his lover's words and was probably saying pretty much the same thing.
Tony grasped Jethro's cock, all velvet and hot rigid steel. He exerted pressure and slid his hand up and down with a twist and felt it jerk under his hand as Jethro came with a great rush. Jethro was clawing at his shoulders and coming and Tony had to follow suit soon or else he was going to explode. His hips arched and plunged into the depths of the hot, slick tunnel that gripped his shaft. There was a tremendous pressure at the head of Tony's dick, building with every thrust he made. He was grunting and sweating and his balls were slapping against Jethro and he took more pleasure than he thought was possible from the sight of his own base desire reflected in his lover's features. Moans and desperate cries filled the bedroom and Tony couldn't tell and didn't care if they came from his lover's mouth or from his own.
Tony came in a great rush with a shudder and cry and he let loose a trembling moan as they sank together onto the mattress, entwined in each other's arms, loose-limbed and thoroughly sated. Just about incapable of any lucid thought, Tony managed to grin at the look of utter pleasure on Jethro's face.
Tony was being held securely in the embrace of Jethro's arms, lulled into a relaxed state by the gentle strokes to his hair. It was still dark out but Tony couldn't help thinking about what was likely to happen come morning. There was no way to delay the inevitable: Jethro would leave. Making love hadn't changed anything, not really; Gibbs was still in mourning for a family and a time he felt he was still a part of, and he'd made it clear he needed to get away in order to figure it all out in his head. Tony understood it, but that didn't mean he had to like it.
Jethro would be gone, all too soon, and Tony would be left behind, alone. For a fleeting moment Tony even considered accompanying Jethro to wherever he was going, but knew it wouldn't work. Jethro needed to face his demons alone, to finally lay them to rest if he and Tony were to have a chance at a future together.
Tony wondered how he was going to find the strength to get up, dress and go to work as if it was just another normal day. He'd have to go on despite the fact that Gibbs, fractured and barely able to cope, was now taking time out to deal with his past, or was retiring or whatever he was calling it. Bottom line was that Jethro was leaving and Tony's heart already ached for him.
Tomorrow, when he walked into the NCIS squad room, Tony was going to be wearing different shoes, those of the Supervisory Special Agent, whether he liked it or not. People were going to rely on him and his good judgment to keep them all safe and sound, to get the job done, to make wise judgment calls in the name of justice.
Tony had been left holding the pieces and was expected to step right in like it was a natural progression, which it wasn't. Oh, he could lead when it was called for, and he would never shirk his duty. It was sort of like being the top during sex – it might have felt damned good but it wasn't Tony's natural position. Anyway, Tony was sure that the director would have something to say about Gibbs leaving him in charge, and he wasn't looking forward to that conversation.
On one hand Tony was sure - okay maybe not as sure as he'd like to be - that he could do the job. He'd handled the show in Gibbs' absence before, and had proven he could combine good investigative skills with executive decisions. Gibbs had handed him the keys to the kingdom but he was riddled with self-doubt and uncertainty. Tony wondered why anyone would be crazy enough to trust him with such an important job.
As if he knew what Tony was thinking, Jethro wrapped his arms tighter around him and gave him a good squeeze, testing the limits of his strength. Upon release he placed a soft kiss on Tony's head. "Sleep," he commanded, sounding as if he was back in control for the first time since the explosion.
The problems at work paled in comparison to the concerns Tony faced with Jethro. He knew he couldn't talk him out of leaving, but he had to give the man something rock solid to come back to. For his own sanity, Tony had to confirm that Jethro wanted to come back to him. "Jethro?"
"Mmm?"
"We're going to be all right, aren't we?"
There was no reply at first, but eventually Gibbs shifted and Tony could feel him peering down at his face. "You'll do fine, DiNozzo."
He'd used his surname, Tony realized, with a sinking heart. God, did that mean that it was all over? They'd parried a bit then quarreled, if one could call Gibbs' curt responses earlier quarrelsome, and then they'd made up with some damn hot sex. It all seemed surreal, like they were living on different planes, in different times with divergent paths. They'd met briefly, touching each other with a flaring intensity that was destined to burn out before dawn. Instead of filling Tony with warmth and a sense of belonging, Tony was now left with an emptiness that was worse than before he'd had a taste of what it was like for them to come together.
Unable to say what he was feeling, Tony turned his head away. Underneath him he could feel the rise and fall of Jethro's chest and their closeness, the strong arms holding him tight, the warm breath in his ear. He drank in the physical sensations and held them close, knowing that before long memories were all he would have of the man he loved.
"Hey," Gibbs said. "What's going on in there, Tony?" When he didn't get any response, Gibbs gave Tony a shake.
Tony shrugged. "I'm gonna miss you, is all." It was Jethro's turn to be silent, so Tony turned and faced him. He ran his fingers lightly along Jethro's jaw, avoiding the reddened skin on his face, and swallowed hard when emotion welled up suddenly and unexpectedly. "That was so close, Jethro. Too damned close. I don't want to lose you."
Jethro's reply was to kiss Tony, a sad, sweet sharing of lips and tongues, with the barest hint of a promise. "I don't want to lose you either, Tony," was all he would say. They eventually fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, exhausted from the stress of the past few days and the lack of sleep.
Dawn came and Tony awoke to find he was alone in the big bed. For a moment Tony thought that Jethro had already gone and he almost panicked, but then he heard slight sounds coming from the bathroom. He lay still and watched the gray-haired man emerge, wearing jeans and a faded denim shirt. Tony was sure that Jethro was aware of eyes following his every move, but he gave no outward sign of it.
After adding a couple of things to his bag and zipping it up, Jethro moved quietly to the door. Once there he hesitated on the threshold, head down, face in shadows, poised like an animal about to give flight. Turning his head towards Tony, Jethro looked as if he intended to say something, but whatever it was never made it past his lips.
"You take care, Jethro," Tony said in a voice that sounded far steadier than he felt. "You know where to find me when you're ready to return."
Gibbs nodded and left without looking back.
I'd give a kingdom
For one more day as a king of your world.
I'd give a kingdom, for one more day.
I'd give it all for a heart
if I was a King I would give away my kingdom.
Treasures and crowns wouldn't mean a thing
If I only had a heart, if I only had a heart...
~Kingdom for a Heart, by Sonata Arctica
*** the end ***
Final notes: This story was written a while ago, my first long fic in this fandom, and it was never archived - when I looked it over I realized it really needed some editing, which I've now done (Nov. 2011).
I followed the episode script as a basis for my story. I expect that the future for the men in this fic would play out as we see in the following season's episodes (season 4), after Hiatus. Gibbs comes back seeming distant and it takes him a while to regain his self and his purpose, but I imagine he does so because he has Tony always at his side.