CHAPTER 10: IT IS DONE……NYAHAHA JUST KIDDING

Alright, Nightmare old pal, you were given scary azure gothic armor for a reason, try your best to look as menacing as possible so you can intimidate the foolish warriors!

Nightmare thought this as Kilik and Xianghua confronted him. Nightmare puffed out his chest, flexed his muscles, and said,

"Blablitynyemyehhahahablahblahhaphootiryuny!"

Well, he tried. He's just so dumb he can't manage to scare a two year old. Dumbass.

Kilik raised his eyebrow. "Ah, so he's Canadian," Kilik remarked to Xianghua. "Xianghua, will you marry me?" he asked rather randomly.

"Uhhhhh," Xianghua answered.

"Oh, dammit, not the right time, not the right time! Wrong game to ask! Let's just kill this bastard and get it over with." Kilik suddenly took out his rod.

And it was a big rod.

A lot of people like men with big rods.

"Oh my God!" Nightmare screamed. He pointed to the staff. "It's……it's so fricking long! It reminds me of a big, giant…."

"Enough, Nightmare! Your doom awaits!" Kilik said. He was ready to kick some major ass.

Xianghua whispered to Nightmare, "I think he's compensating for something," and she pointed to Kilik's lower body. Nightmare nodded.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, big rod man," Nightmare taunted, "I don't even have Soul Edge with me, so don't even bother beating me up! Don't try to hurt me with your big, huge gigantic rod!"

NOTICE: In the process of writing this chapter, the author got so disgusted and grossed out by the obvious statement this scene was portraying. Therefore, there will be an alternate setting for this battle to show a nicer message to the readers.

"Nightmare is trouncing around in Candyland!" Kilik squeaked. He pulled out a long Twizzler. "We must stop him before he reaches the Sugarplum King!" Xianghua nodded.

"It is not good that Nightmare is in Candyland!" She said. She pulled out a candy cane. "Let's try to get him to be nice!" They skipped through the candy flowers and reached Nightmare.

"Hahahahaha! I am in Candyland! I will steal all the candy!" Nightmare said in a squeaky voice. "The Sugarplum King cannot resist me!" He danced around and laughed.

"You will no longer be in Candyland, Nightmare!" Kilik yelled. "Prepare to die!" Suddenly, his Twizzler opened up. A missile came speeding out of it and hit Nightmare straight in the face. Turns out, it was filled with nerve gas and instantly killed everyone in Candyland. It went up in a nuclear explosion, and nobody survived.

Woah, that was a little dark for Candyland. Hmmmmm, let's try reverting back to Ostreihnsburg Castle, but without all the inappropriate innuendo.

"You and your big rod!" Nightmare yelled.

Hey, what did I say about all that! STOP IT!

"Sorry," Nightmare said. Kilik shook his head.

"I am not in the mood for this," he said. "Time to die!" He lunged at Nightmare. Nightmare screamed and ran away like a little girl, but Kilik was too fast. He wacked Nightmare in the head with his staff repeatedly and knocked him down. Xianghua watched as Kilik beat the ever living snot out of Nightmare.

"But wait….." Nightmare murmured. Kilik slammed his staff into Nightmare's head once again, and Nightmare went unconscious. Kilik stood proud and victorious over his fallen foe. Suddenly, a spear flew straight at Kilik. By mere luck, it hit the mirror that Kilik wore, but the force shattered it.

"Ooops! Hit the shinies!" the puppet Biff said in the balcony. The two puppets hopped down from the balcony and proceed to throw beach balls at Nightmare's motionless body.

Kilik started foaming at the mouth and growling. Xianghua flinched and gasped, but then walked over to Kilik.

"Look! You were unaffected from your mirror being destroyed! Your curse of madness is over!" Xianghua said. Kilik's eyes were glowing red. Kilik lunged at Xianghua and she screamed. While the carnage to the side was ensuing, the doors flung open and Inferno, wielding Soul Edge, jumped into the cathedral. The personification of hatred and evil looked around. He saw a man tearing apart a woman to the side, and two crudely made puppets throwing beach balls at a knight's body. Inferno screamed.

Xianghua barely managed to chain Kilik up, who snarled and repeatedly tried to bite her. Xianghua turned around and saw Inferno right before her. She took out her sword, ready to fight. Suddenly, her sword went through a glorious change.

Her sword left her hand and floated in the air. It shined brilliantly, so bright that Xianghua had to cover her eyes. It dropped to the ground, now a totally different sword, seemingly forged in crystal blue and glowing. Xianghua picked it up. The runes upon the blade said "The Soul Calibur. Made in China." Inferno, upon gazing on the holy sword, screamed and staggered. Xianghua lunged at Inferno, and the two blades of good and evil fought for mankind.

The earth shook as the two swords fought! All people quivered as the great powers of the world struggled in this epic battle! Flame and light wrapped around each other as the Soul Edge and the Soul Calibur met! And I went hungry! So I made myself a sandwich! All of Heaven, Earth, and Hell stood still and watched as good and evil warred.

Inferno knocked back an exhausted Xianghua. It knocked away Soul Calibur, so that Xianghua couldn't reach it. Nightmare began to wake up, and saw that the two puppets were humiliating him. He grabbed both of them by the necks and strangled them. He threw them away and slowly got up.

"I guess Soul Edge has gotten far beyond my control," Nightmare said. "What are we going to do now?"

Xianghua slowly took out a ring. Nightmare nodded and took out a ring too.

"Let's do this!" Xianghua said. Kilik took out a ring too.

"Earth!" Nightmare said.

"Fire!" Kilik growled.

"Wind!" Maxi said outside the castle.

"Water!" Xianghua said.

"And heart!" some Latino kid with a monkey cried.

"With these powers combined, I am Captain Planet!" A shining blue superhero said, floating in the air. His hair was green, his skin was blue, and his suit was red. He was Captain Planet. Inferno looked up, waving Soul Edge threateningly at Captain Planet.

"Hahaha, looks like we got to put out the fire!" He flew around Inferno a few times. Inferno raised its eyebrow and stabbed Captain Planet in the heart.

"Shit!" He yelled. He fell down and died.

"Well, that was our last bet. We'd better give these rings and the Latino kid back to those multicultural kids." Nightmare started to walk away. Inferno screamed.

Suddenly, Biff and Skippy turned on the water hose. Inferno screamed in agony as it was doused by the high pressure water. In seconds, the Catastrophe was a mere wisp of steam.

"Hahahahaha!" The two puppets laughed. A great portal opened, and Nightmare, Soul Edge, and Soul Calibur floated in the air and flew into the portal. The great portal closed.

Xianghua stared at the dead body of Captain Planet. "Let's all cheer for Captain Planet for saving the day!"

Captain Planet,

He's our hero,

Gonna take pollution down to zero!

He's um, something, something something,

Something something something something!

Uh, yeah! Captain Planet!

The exciting events of Captain Planet, er, I mean, Soul Calibur is over! Tune in for a new set of chapters chronicling the events of Siegfried Schaufften, and of his turn back into the azure knight to obtain peanuts and defeat the evil might of Nyquil! This is Nightmare's Happy Sunshine Story, and my name is

(Technical difficulties. Please stand by.)