"So why did you come back, anyway? I thought you'd had it up to here with your situation." Keep him talking. Anything to keep him talking.
Kavanagh looked taken aback.
"Oh. Here we are. That was fast. Um. Ok. Try to listen. I know it's mostly a foreign concept for you, but I want you to give it your best shot."
McKay glared but he didn't interrupt him.
"I left Atlantis because I didn't feel like anyone wanted or valued me here. But once I got back to Earth, I couldn't stop thinking about…Atlantis. Its complexity, its beauty, the—the enormity of what it holds. How it can think circles around your average person without even trying. How even when it's broken, abandoned and isolated it has the power to pull people from the other side of the galaxy to it." He looked straight into Rodney's eyes.
"It was only a few days before I realized…there was only Atlantis. For me. At that point I didn't even care if I got the position I wanted. Go on, laugh, but it's true. I wouldn't have cared. I just wanted to be here—near Atlantis."
"You expect me to believe that? That some love affair with the city is what brought you back? You were the one who said we couldn't possibly consider staying."
Kavanagh lowered his head, laughed softly.
"You're so incredibly stupid, McKay. But maybe that's a good thing. Let me tell you more about Atlantis."
Here we go. Whatever's happening in his head, this is distracting him. Humor him. McKay pasted on a fake smile.
"Of course. I'm stupid. Ha ha, stupid me. Yes. I don't have the intelligence to appreciate Atlantis on my own. Beautiful, amazing Atlantis. Tell me more. Please."
Kavanagh looked down.
"It's…cruel. Really, really cruel, sometimes. Without even meaning to be." His eyes came up to meet Rodney's.
"Cruel? It's a city, Kavanagh. It doesn't have a brain. It doesn't have the capacity to be cruel. Not in the sense you're implying, anyway."
"Rodney—" Kavanagh's head sank till it touched McKay's shoulder, frustration turning his voice into a low growl.
"On the other hand, you must have a reason for your bizarre anthropomorphism of Atlantis. Keep uh, keep rambling. There's usually some sense in what you say if I let you babble long enough." McKay gave him a worried look. The talking is breaking down. Not good.
"Rambling. Yeah, ok. Right." Kavanagh nodded slowly, looked off into a corner of the room as if searching for something.
"So, you know how you just said, Atlantis not having a brain means it doesn't have the capacity to be cruel…"
"Ye-e-e-s…?"
"So then you're saying, the more brain capacity, the larger the capacity for cruelty."
"Yes…I suppose that's true…Wait, why are we talking about cruelty? Let's move away from this subject. What if we talk about, say, a happy ending to all this? One that involves both of us being alive and neither of us in prison."
Kavanagh lifted his head and gave him a level look.
"I see what you're thinking. You could be right, you know. Incredibly intelligent—according to our very own Dr. Weir anyway—equals incredibly sadistic…it's a very possible scenario."
"What? Y-you? This is about pain? You wanting to hurt me?"
Kavanagh snorted softly.
"Use your considerable powers of observation, McKay. How much pain are you in right now?"
"You're right. That doesn't make any sense either. Although I am starting to develop a pain in my back. You know, I'm trying to condense all this, analyze it and get something out, but it's just not making—Oh." McKay stopped short as Kavanagh's hands pressed under his back, rubbing and kneading the muscles there. The long fingers were surprisingly talented and McKay relaxed in spite of himself, struggling to focus.
"Wait, I know. Somehow you got the gene therapy to work on you. Or found a way to activate a latent Ancient gene. Uh huh. And now you've got some weird fixation about the city being your untouchable goddess." McKay's eyes gleamed as Kavanagh started shaking his head.
"See, even crazy minds are no match for mine. Haha? Ha! I'm right, aren't I?" His smile faded as Kavanagh continued to shake his head, slowly and patiently, in rhythm with the movements of his hands under McKay's back.
"Not the gene? Then how—why—?"
"Just…never mind, McKay. That's all I have to say about Atlantis. It's brilliant, cruel, irresistible. It's what I came back for. Yes, I know it was stupid of me, but it wasn't a matter of choice. I couldn't stay away. Just…remember that, okay?"
"Analyzing and…nope. No coherent thought detected. Condensed babble yielding the same results as regular babble." Rodney looked up at him, his face pleasant and hopeless and completely mystified.
Kavanagh dropped his head, defeated.
"Why are you so stupid, why do you have to be so stupid?" he groaned against McKay's neck.
"Look, Kavanagh, I am trying to sort out the workings of your twisted mind, I really am, but how does this fit together? You're here, on Atlantis, where you just said you wanted to be—"
"—Had. Had to be."
"—Whatever. Here you are. You've got what you wanted. And recently people have been bending over backwards trying to do things for you—don't say it, don't even contemplate saying it—and get you through what's happened. How does this lead to a cataclysmic dive off the deep end? As you at least noticed, Zelenka's been ridiculously busy managing your projects and his and trying to keep an eye on you at the same time."
"I know. I am sorry about that. Will you tell him—"
"Oh, you're sorry about that but not about this?"
"No." Kavanagh looked at him bleakly but without relenting.
"Well then. Analysis complete. Source of babble is a criminally insane and illogical basket case." Rodney's eyes met Kavanagh's as they darted up. For several seconds they just glared at each other, blue eyes warring.