Chapter Ten
EPOV – Staying away
Alice always had a plan. She had a way of getting exactly what she wanted at all times and in this case it was Bella; or more specifically an interaction between myself and Bella. I had made it quite clear that I would not involve Bella in the complexities of our lives. I had demanded that they give me the opportunity to distance myself from her so that she would never have to deal with the attention that our popularity would thrust on her. I had pleaded for them to accept that I needed to keep her safe and that this was the only way to do it. They heard me and even, in part, agreed with me but it was not going to stop Alice from trying to prove me wrong. She wanted me to be happy and she had clung onto the idea that Bella was the one to help me reach that point. She was probably right…… but that made no difference. Bella and I would not get to explore the possibilities. My decision was final.
So it was aggravating to find that Alice slyly found ways of making sure that Bella and I crossed paths on more than one occasion.
A meeting with Jim: Bella's near collision and confused look as she wilted under my rudeness.
The need for time out of the hotel room so a drink in the bar: Bella entering and my own conflicted need to go to her and explain or escape. I had chosen the later.
But this excuse had to top them all. This contrived idea of Alice's to organize a thank you party for the staff, and for us to play there, was way beyond reasonable. She had gone behind my back so that I couldn't get out of it. She had placed me in a situation where I wouldn't be able to get up and leave if I found my feelings for Bella no longer controllable. She was deliberate and she was clever and right now I could think of a string of obscenities that I could fling her way.
"Alice, since when do we throw thank you parties for the staff of a hotel? Since when do we perform for a private little gathering of select people in a bar?" My exasperation was clearly resonating in my voice.
"Since the staff have made our stay exceptionally free and easy. You have to admit Edward that this has been the best hotel we've stayed at in terms of confidentiality and giving us freedom to move around without the dogma of stardom following every step. Why can't we say thank you in a way that we are best able?"
"Sure I agree with you on the great staff and Jim has been wonderful but this party…… really Alice; we both know what this is really about. You are trying to get Bella and I into the same room in the hope I will relent. I can't do that sis. It's not going to happen."
"But Edward, you should have seen her face when we talked to her. She was so hurt and angry. I really think you should at least tell her why you are being so rude," I growled threateningly at her. Didn't she realize how much this was hurting me too; how much I wanted to get to know Bella better and just couldn't? The growl made her change tact artfully.
"Fine but we are still doing the party. I promised Jim we would and he was so excited by the prospect. It's all organized anyway. I've been working on it the past two days. All you have to do is go get yourself dressed and turn up. Easy. So off you go," Alice was actually shooing me towards my room.
"What? You mean now. We are having this party tonight?"
"Sure, when did you think we would have it?" Alice smiled angelically at me and I had to restrain myself from letting out a howl of frustration.
"Oh I don't know Alice. Maybe on our last night here. Maybe a couple of days after I had actually been told we were doing it. Some warning would have been good. Shit Alice. You are unbelievable."
"Oh come on Edward, it will be fun. It's not like we were going to be doing anything else tonight. We are kind of stuck inside this place due to the uplift in security and the rest of it."
"You are incorrigible Alice Cullen, you know that don't you? How mum and dad ever managed to have such a pushy little pixie for a child is way beyond me."
"Take your insults elsewhere brother dear." Alice's voice held no malice. "You know we wouldn't have got where we are now if it wasn't for my pushiness. A night of fun isn't so much to ask is it? The others agree. We need to do something to lift this oppression we are living under at the moment"
I threw her an aggrieved sideway glance as I headed towards my room to change. "Fun wouldn't describe what it is going to be like, being that close to her Alice, when I can't be next to her. Tonight will be no fun for me; none at all."
It was agony but I had known that right? Everyone around us was in a fabulous mood. Alice had put on quite a nice little do and everyone was relaxed and jovial. Bella was working behind the bar and I was pretty sure she had chosen that option herself, rather than have to be part of the upbeat bunch of staff members who were milling around us and chatting excitedly. She refused to acknowledge my presence, which I couldn't blame her for, and when it came to Alice, Emmett, Jasper or Rosalie she was polite but distant. I knew this because I could not take my eyes off her. I saw every interaction she had with the people around her. I saw it when she moved to take orders from a patron. I took note of every mannerism she displayed and locked it away to remember once we had left and I no longer had any contact with her. Bella constantly smiled but it never reached her eyes. She was hurting and she was angry and it was all my fault. I kept telling myself that this was the only way, but it was starting to sound hollow even to my own ears. Bella shouldn't be hurting. I felt like a complete ass hole.
I ensured that I was never close to her. I knew that the things I loved about her would be my undoing if I did so. Her scent, the shapely mouth, the look of perceptiveness in her eyes, the way she smiled at people as if they were really important to her. All of it – too much to take in, and still stay away, so I was a coward and didn't tempt myself in any way at all. Distance – that was my best option.
"Are you going to talk to her?" Emmett was intruding on my thoughts "or are you just going to stare at her all night and keep feeling sorry for yourself?"
I returned his look coolly. "No to both of your questions Emmett. Now was there something else you wanted?"
"You're making a mistake Edward. She could possibly be the girl you've been waiting for. She could be the fucking one." Emmett never talked about this kind of thing as a general rule so I knew he was pretty fired up about Bella and what we were doing to her.
"You think I don't know that? I am not happy about any of this but what else am I meant to do? Being with me, even just as a friend could harm her. If that was Rose there and you had to make the choice, what would you do?"
Emmett's face was all seriousness as he answered and I couldn't deny that he was telling me the truth.
"I would fight for her and then I would protect her." Was it really as simple as that for him? "That's not to say that I wouldn't be worried. I would be, but I wouldn't let it make me, or more importantly her, miss out on something that was worth having. That's what I would do Edward Cullen but we are completely different men aren't we?"
"Apparently so, because I don't have the guts to take that risk." I stated as I walked away from his earnestness. I wasn't used to it from him and it was making me second guess myself.
The time came for us to be playing a few songs for the audience of hotel staff and select patrons. Although my heart wasn't in it I chose to give it my best attempt. I sang as I should and moved as was expected but the whole time I was attuned to the girl at the bar. For the first time all night she was taking notice of what we were doing; what I was doing. Bella had stopped serving and was seemingly captivated by our performance. We were playing acoustically which leant an intimate atmosphere to the proceedings and when I saw her shake her head and begin serving again I realized that she had been responding to it without actually realising it. I felt a flash of pride go through me that I could make her react so strongly to our music, even when she didn't want to. I wanted her to like the things I had put my heart and soul into.
When the guy at the bar placed his hand on her arm as she was giving him his drink I wanted to drop my microphone there and then and go and rip it off. Bella gave him an admonishing look and said something to him before moving to the back of the bar away from him. I allowed the tenseness to seep out of me, realizing that she was not going to allow him to touch her but when we finally finished performing I kept my eye on the man just in case he tried anything else. He did - several times; hands on her, grabbing her as she passed, making suggestive comments towards her and each time I had just about given in and gone over to help her out when she showed her own strength and set him straight that his advances were unwelcome.
"He's being a bit of a nuisance, isn't he," Jasper stated quietly as he felt me tense up for the umpteenth time in a matter of half an hour. "Should we intervene?" Why was it, that everyone in my family was watching Bella as closely as I was? What was it about her that made our whole evening revolve around her well being?
I shook my head at him. "I have a feeling that if any of us even attempted it she would bite our heads off. I suppose we should just let her deal with it…. But jeez, it's getting harder and harder watching that guy grope at her. Why doesn't she ask one of the bar guys to help her?" As I spoke the man grabbed Bella around the waist, as she walked past him, and pulled her onto his lap; hands latched around her so she couldn't escape. That was it. No way in this world I was ignoring that. I strode towards them and noted with disgust that the guy had had way too much to drink. His face was stretched into a grotesque leer as he tried to nuzzle into Bella's neck. I was going to break him. He had no right to be doing that. I was at boiling point. Jasper was right beside me and I vaguely registered that he was telling me not to make a scene and go overboard. Yeh right; as if I had that much control at the moment.
I was just about up to them when Bella stopped squirming against him and glared at me with squinted eyes. I stopped short. She was furious and I knew from the look in her eyes that it wasn't only with the man who was harassing her. The scowl and angry glare never moved from being directed at me even as she spoke to the man.
"You have exactly three seconds to get your hands off me or I will make sure you are escorted off the premises by the police." Bella's voice dripped venom and I had to restrain from grinning at her tenacity. "I don't care how important you think you are. Jim will understand."
The fool was laughing at her but let go of her so that she could remove herself from his hold. She wiped away at the spot where he had held her with her hands, as if she was trying to get his touch off her.
"Just having a bit of fun, girly. Didn't need to get so stressed about it." He slurred his words as he held his hands up in the air. By this time Ryan had noticed that something was wrong so had come over to check.
"All ok Belles?" His tone was harsh as he looked at the drunken guy.
"Fine but I think Mr Hammond here has had enough to drink tonight Ryan."
"I most certainly have not. I was just giving Bella some loving attention. It is obvious she needs some." Mr Hammond actually had the nerve to wink at Ryan as if he was letting him on a secret. "She wanted me. She can't say she didn't. Been asking for it all night."
Bella simply sighed in resignation and mouthed 'jerk' to Ryan who instantly told Bella he would deal with it. He turned Mr Hammond away from us and started to walk him towards the door leading to the foyer. I sincerely hoped it was the last we saw of him because I was internally seething at his accusation that Bella had wanted him. How dare he!
Bella looked at Jasper and I still standing there doing nothing and offered us another one of her glares. Without speaking she went to return behind the bar.
"Are you ok Bella?" I was sure she would hear the nervousness in my voice but I wanted to make sure before I left. Her back straightened and she whirled around to face me again.
"And you care because?" I didn't miss the sarcasm. She was really mad. "You can't come over here and think you can play the hero Edward when you've made it quite clear you want nothing to do with me. It doesn't work like that. Besides the fact that I can look after myself with creeps like that, the only person I would accept any kind of help from would be a friend – in case you hadn't noticed, that is not us"
I tried to remain calm but her assertion was making me feel ill. I only had myself to blame for her tirade but it didn't help that she could not understand how very badly she was wrong.
"Bella. It's not that I don't want anything to do with you; it's just that I can't. I don't…"
She interrupted me before I could say any more. "Whatever your reasons the end result is the same. Let it go at that. Tonight has been a shitty enough night as it is." She slammed a tray down and escaped towards a room at the back of the bar. I went to follow her and Jasper held me back.
"She's right. You need to let her go and make a decision about what you want. You can't be nice to her one moment and then ignore her the next. It's not fair. Give her some space while you work it out."
Jasper was right, I knew it, but I wasn't ready to admit that I could have been wrong. I was doing this for the right reasons even if I hadn't done it the right way. I had already realized that it would be all or nothing with Bella. If I let her in even a little bit I would never be able to let go so…….I had chosen the nothing against my own need, and consoled myself with the knowledge that she would be better off for it. I grabbed my first drink of the night and let it slide down my throat quickly and effortlessly. Confusion reigned. What should I do now?
Ryan returned to behind the bar and I listened as Jasper asked the questions I wanted answers to. Ryan let us know that Jeremy Hammond was some big shot project manager who was staying at the hotel. Ryan had escorted him back to his room and told him to stay away from Bella. Ryan's face creased up in frustration when he said that and I wondered what the guy had said to him that made him feel agitated still.
"Bella did nothing to bring that on, you know Ryan. That guy was an absolute creep. He wouldn't leave her alone," There was no way I was chancing that Ryan thought Bella had led that guy on.
"Of course not. I know Bella and there is no way she would lead anyone on."Ryan looked at me, surprised. "He was just a little too graphic with me on our way to his room as to what he likes about Bella and what he would like to do. It's making me feel a little uncomfortable. I hope he follows my instructions and stays put for the night. Sleep off the drink." He peered around the room. "Where is Bella anyway?"
"Ah, she was a little angry and went into that room at the back of the bar," Jasper pointed and it brought my attention back to Bella and where she had disappeared to.
"I better go check on her. I wish there was something we could do to stop our female staff getting harassed by patrons. They really shouldn't have to deal with it." Ryan sighed and headed back towards the rooms we had pointed too.
Jasper searched my face to find out what I wanted to do next. Stay here to see Bella or remove ourselves from her presence. "It appears she is in good hands if you want to make yourself scarce Edward."
Maybe I should. Bella was with someone who cared about her and it wasn't as if she was going to let me help in anyway. I could……
"Edward, Jasper, where is Bella? I just saw her in danger. Blond guy, about 30 grabbing her and trying to…"
I interrupted her "Alice, calm down that's already happened. You're a bit late with this one. She's fine. One of the guys at the bar sorted it out. Ryan is with her now."
"No, no, no. You don't understand," Alice was pleading with me but at that moment Ryan came out of the back with a perplexed expression on his face.
"She's nowhere out there and it seems that she has grabbed her belongings. If I didn't know better I would think she has just left work in the middle of a shift for the first time ever. Darn, she must have been upset."
My eyes darted back to Alice in a panic. She grabbed our arms and took us away from Ryan so he couldn't hear her.
"That's what I am trying to tell you. It's not in here. It's outside and Edward I think it is in the same place where you two met. That's the feeling I am getting anyway."
I was already moving towards the staff exit before she had finished the sentence and heard Jasper, as if from a distance, say that he was going to get Emmett and they would follow me. Damn it, if that Jeremy Hammond had even laid one finger on her I was going to make his life hell. I hoped we were quick enough.