"Going to a funeral, Councillor?"
She meant it as a joke but as he turns to catch her gaze she can feel her stomach fall. His chin has instinctively jutted out, the way he does when he's preparing for a fight he didn't expect, and his hands have flown up to nervously check the buttons of his suit are fastened.
"Actually, yes. An old… uh… a friend. Of sorts." He's dressed head to toe in solid black, no coloured suspenders or bright socks today.
"Oh." She's stepping closer, her own hands going to nervously wring together, and his minute sway backwards is not lost on her. "Rafael, I'm so sorry. I…" His lips quirk for the briefest moment and he nods quickly, gaze darting to hers before returning to the floor.
"Would you like to come with me?" There's something in the way he says it, all the syllables strung together as if the question is actually just a word, a burst of nervous energy and an innate need to please. She can pinpoint the moment he realises what he's said, eyes going wide in shock then frenzied panic. And she's not sure if she's trying to save him the embarrassment of taking back his words, or if the idea of this man standing alone beside a grave is too much, but she's accepting his offer before he has the chance to withdraw it.
"I'd be honoured, Rafael."
His eyes are still blown wide and his brows comically knitted together as he breathes in a scattered, "Sure."
The day is befitting of a funeral - the air is still around them, as if everyone has forgotten to draw a breath and the sky is a low and ominous grey, threatening to break upon them without notice. There's a crowd at the service yet Rafael hangs back, folding up upon himself as he avoids eye contact. The atmosphere is tinged with sadness but is less solemn than most services; a quiet kind of acceptance. Edwin's departure had not been unexpected, and at 93 years old, he had lived what appeared to be a very full life.
She feels him stiff beside her throughout the service, joining in the hymns quietly when appropriate, but otherwise trapped inside his own head with eyes locked upon the mans photo. There's a memory shared about the strays that Edwin would bring home, the homeless youth he would take in and feed, and Rafael draws in a sharp breath. She glances at his tight jaw and the stiffness to his gait, before returning her attention to the speeches. When her hand sneaks down to grasp his warmly his eyes flick to find hers, but she refuses to turn, scared of something she cannot name. The seconds tick by slowly and she's about to pull completely away when he threads his fingers through hers, interlocking with a gentle squeeze.
It's been a few hours and they should really be getting back to work but there's something on the tip of his tongue and she's trying to chase the demons from his eyes. They're sheltering from the rain in a quiet corner café, nursing their coffees and waiting for something. To her credit, she never asks, but he can feel the question rolling off her in waves, in the way she glances at him, the way her body is angled, after hijacking her day he owes her the answer.
"I was a small kid. Very small. An easy target, with my books and my stutter." He throws out a derogatory laugh and she leans closer. "Eddie protected me, he'd walk me to and from school, scare away the bullies. It became very clear to the other kids that if you messed with Rafi you were in trouble. But my Papi didn't like that, to him being a man was a very physical thing, it was about being able to protect what was yours. Ironically. He would get mad. And when he got mad he got violent. One night I ran out, spitting blood, my face swollen like I'd fallen into a beehive, and quite literally ran into this old man. Edwin took me home, patched me up. Now, as a DA, it's easy to say he should have called child services or someone, but as a kid I was just so glad to have a person I could trust with my secret. He never asked and I never told him, but he knew. He showed me where the spare key was, let me hide my college brochures in his house, he even sewed me up a couple of times. I got out and I barely gave Edwin another thought until I saw his obituary in the paper the other day."
The look in his eyes makes her heart ache. There's this fear she can see shining through, a doubt that he should have stilled his tongue, should have not shared this chapter of his life with her. So, knowing her words would fall on deaf ears, she reaches again for his hand.