In the week before Christmas John still had not purchased an alternative surprise Christmas gift for Kayleigh. He decided on the Saturday afternoon that he had free to do some shopping and hunt high and low for the perfect gift.
The city centre was packed and John was finding himself getting increasingly irritated "bloody Paul and his great ideas" he would mumble to himself. Whilst overtaking a slow moving couple he ended up walking straight into a woman and knocking her phone out of her hand "oh god, I'm so sorry love" as he bent down to pick up the item as he looked up he recognised the woman.
"Charlotte!? Sorry I didn't realise it was you...erm here's ya phone. Hope its not broke."
"Thanks John. This is becoming a bit too regular...twice in a space of a few months when I hadn't seen you for years."
"Aye, it is a bit odd" John looked awkward.
"How's your new girlfriend? Kayleigh wasn't it?"
"Yeah Kayleigh, yeah she's good ta."
"I'm really sorry about that night we bumped into you both. Must have been awkward."
"You could say that...it was our first proper date" John laughed nervously.
Charlotte giggled in shock "Oh god John how awful. Well it didn't put her off so she must be in for the long haul" she laughed but then looked incredibly sad.
John didn't know where to go after this so tried to make excuses to leave.
"Well must be getting on or I'll never get me shopping done."
"Look...did you want to grab a coffee? I know it's probably a bit weird but...I think I want to talk to you properly."
"There's nothing really to talk about is there?" John realised his comment came across a bit harsh "I mean...so much has already been said and we haven't seen each other for years."
"No, of course, you're absolutely right" Charlotte replied welling up "it's just seeing you...I just think I need some closure John."
"Closure?!...thought we had that when you moved out" John knew he sounded hard but the last thing he wanted was a heart to heart about this. However, Charlotte seemed so sad he went back on himself. "I suppose one coffee won't hurt. Shall we go to Costa just up here."
"Yeah."
They walked awkwardly to the Costa a few shops down "fuck sake John...how's this happened?!" he thought to himself.
John got the coffees whilst Charlotte waited at a table. John was apprehensive about this whole thing, what was Kayleigh going to think? Should he tell her? He could not understand the purpose of Charlotte wanting to do this, but apart of him felt he owed her something after how everything ended.
He brought the coffees and sat down opposite Charlotte.
"Thanks John and thanks for doing this, you probably think I've gone mad."
"No...no not at all. I'm just confused...I mean...how things were left...thought I'd be the last person you wanted a coffee with."
"I know...and you are. Gemma would kill me seeing me with you like this."
"Yeah I can imagine" John half smiled.
"Well she helped me get back on me feet and put me together again. It was an awful time."
John winced "I'm sorry...If it makes you feel better...it wasn't easy for me either, I didn't eat for 3 weeks!"
"Wow...I didn't realise you felt that bad. Thought it would have been a relief."
"It wasn't a relief at the time so to speak...but I knew it was the right thing in the long run."
"Oh I know full well what you thought."
"But we hadn't been getting on Char, for ages...whatever I did wasn't right..."
Charlotte smiled.
"What?" asked John.
"You called me Char, you were the only person who really called me that."
"Old habits and all that."
"Thing is John, you became distant, you didn't want to set a date, you didn't want to talk about the future...I felt so lonely John, planning a life with someone who wasn't there."
"I know...I know...I couldn't...I couldn't get excited about it. I just felt something was missing and I couldn't put my finger on it. I wish I had the guts to tell you how I felt..." John put his head in his hands.
"Did you ever love me John? Really?"
"I did...in my own way...I just wasn't..." John was struggling now.
"You just wasn't in love with me?"
"Yeah" John said shamefully.
"Then why propose or buy a house?"
"I don't know, I just felt at the time it was what we should do...it was wrong..."
"But it wasn't always bad between us was it?"
"No, course not..." John grabbed her hand "you were great...I just don't think we were destined to be together...that's all."
"And you feel destined to be with Kayleigh?"
"I don't know..." John sighed "yes...yes I am."
"Are you in love with her?"
"Yes I am, very much."
"How do you know? How do you know it's different?"
John felt very uncomfortable having this conversation, but Charlotte seemed like she needed to understand what happened.
"Because when she was gonna walk out of my life...I couldn't cope...I was empty and lost and I was only without her an hour when I had to find a way to get her back. I stayed up all night writing a song in the hope she would come back to me...and she did."
"God...you really do love her...you never wrote me a song...no matter how much I asked!" Charlotte sounded quite annoyed.
"Well you wanted to know how I knew...and that's my answer."
"Yeah...Thanks for being honest."
"I don't know how else to be right now...you said you wanted closure."
"I do, I've been seeing someone for a few months and after I saw you I panicked, panicked he wouldn't love me, panicked he would be with me resenting me."
John winced again as Charlotte continued.
"A few of my relationships after you ended that way, not because of them, because of me...thinking the worst of them. Thinking they would treat me like you had..." Charlotte had tears in her eyes now "I really thought you were the one ya know? And then bam...it was all over...I played that message in my head over and over again."
"I'm so sorry...I truly am...I'm not proud of meself. I became closed off because I felt like such a bastard. That's how I nearly lost Kayleigh...before we even got started. I didn't want to be with anyone, told her I was happy on me own. But she kept wearing me down" John smiled.
"You are set in your ways."
"I know...but bloody Kayleigh has wrecked all that. She's just changed everything for me. Putting me in me place when I'm going off on one."
"She's a braver woman than me."
John laughed "She's certainly one of a kind."
"I can see how happy you are John, you have a look when you talk about her that I never saw when we were together."
John was slightly embarrassed.
"Anyway, this bloke you've been seeing, you're not gonna chuck it away cos of me are ya?"
"No, I nearly did. But I want what you have with Kayleigh. You've found your one, I need to open up and find mine."
"Good for you. You deserve happiness and again I'm so sorry for everything."
"Don't be sorry...looks like it may have been a blessing...imagine us married now...being miserable and putting up with each other."
They both laughed.
"Right better finish these and get on with me shopping."
"Yes, I'm meeting Toby in 30 minutes."
"Toby?! Whose called Toby in this day and age?"
They laughed again.
As they left costa they had a long hug and a peck on the check and wished each other well. The hug was probably longer than it should have been but it was the relief of all that angst being set free.
What John didn't realise is that Mandy had seen the whole thing. She had walked passed just as John reached for Charlotte's hand so waited outside.
John finally got home at 7pm after getting Kayleigh her gift. He'd purchased a record player for her to play her old vinyl records. He had also gone to the market place where old vinyl's were being sold.
"Oh what a day... it is so busy out there" he said as he walked through door Kayleigh was in the kitchen prepping dinner.
"I got ya present though" as he kissed her on the cheek from behind.
"Good" she said "So anything exciting happen whilst you were out?"
John didn't know what to say...he had nothing to hide, but he didn't want to spend the evening explaining the whole conversation, he just wanted to be with Kayleigh.
"No, nothing...just bloody slow coaches walking in front..."
Kayleigh turned round so quick and slapped him across his face.
"OW! Whats that for?!" said a shocked John.
"You know what!"
"No...I don't actually. What's got into you?"
"Mandy saw you John, holding hands across the table, hugging and kissing some slapper outside Costa! I can't believe you would do this?"
"I've not done anything...I don't know what Mandy thought she saw but..."
"You calling my sister a liar John?"
"No, I'm not saying that..."
"I only moved in the other week...I mean...are you sick in the head John? Is this what you do to get your kicks?"
"Look if you calm down I can explain everything."
"Calm down...I don't know how you think you can explain this away...who is she? Is she from our place?"
"No she's not!"
"Oh so you admit there is someone then" Kayleigh starts to sob and sits at the kitchen table with her head in her hands "Why John?"
"It was Charlotte!"
"What? Charlotte you're ex Charlotte?"
"Yes."
"And how long you been back with her? This just makes it worse" she cries.
"I'm not back with her...what are you on about? I knew I was right... women... you're all bloody psychos!"
"Don't joke about this!"
"I'm not...look...let me explain... please...its not what you think."
They sat down at the kitchen table and John explained everything.
"...so what Mandy saw was just me comforting her and us saying a proper goodbye. Honestly...I wouldn't mess you about."
"Oh John. I feel so stupid. I'm so sorry I hit you" she rubbed his red cheek.
"Ouch! You don't half have a good right hook. I certainly wouldn't cheat on ya now" he laughed.
"Oi...that's not funny" Kayleigh said as she wiped her tear stained cheeks.
John crouched down in front of Kayleigh whilst she stayed sitting "Kayleigh...it felt good to apologise properly to Charlotte and be honest. And it made me realise even more how much I've changed since you came into my life. Everything about me is you Kayleigh...everything."
He leaned up to give her a hug "I love you so much."
"I love you too John. I'm sorry for doubting you."
"No bother. Now you better tell your Mandy I'm innocent...don't want her or Steve coming here giving me a black eye."
"Oh yeah, I better call her" Kayleigh got up to get her phone and left the kitchen.
"I'll finish dinner shall I? Make sure there's no arsenic in it!" he chuckled.