Chapter 10: Blame the Secret, Not the Keeper

Haley sat at the counter with the bowl of oatmeal sitting untouched in front of her, while Brooke walked back on the other side, while Lucas stood leaning against the mouth of the hallway. Brooke was doing enough talking for all three of them, currently on an anti-Jake and Nathan rant. And while Lucas had so far kept his opinion to himself, Haley knew he was struggling as much as she was. Brooke who had no deeply personal ties with either boy could afford to be entirely one sided. Haley would give anything to be that angry, and for some part she was. She had given Nathan her heart. Yes, there would always be some anger at him.

Haley sighed deeply, interrupting Brooke, "I just feel so bad…"

Brooke rushed over to her side, "Oh, honey," she cooed, "Its going to be okay…we're here for you…"

"I didn't mean just me, Brooke." She looked directly into Brooke's eyes, "For them too."

Neither of her friends had expected that, and their shocked allowed her enough silence to continue, "Really the only thing Nathan did wrong was not tell me…and considering how much he's tried to put it behind him, I don't think I can really blame him….And Jake…Jake's been entirely selfless about the whole thing…"

"Tutor girl, I know you're a good person, but you don't have to be a martyr, what they did was pretty selfish."

"No…no…Jake has put Nathan and even me in front of himself. Everything he's done has been with the weight on his shoulders. He's had every right to fight for Nathan, and to expose Nathan…and he stood back and let me have Nathan, and I can't regret what I had with Nathan, Brooke." The tears were starting to break through, "And I…forced Jake to tell Nathan about Jenny, not because I thought it was for the best, but because I wanted them to hurt as much as I did…but they already did." Haley buried her head into Brooke's shoulder who looked at Luke. Luke signaled that he was going to let Brooke handle Haley, he had a feeling he was needed elsewhere.

Sure enough, when he got to his brother's house he found Nathan sitting on his bed staring at a suitcase with his things surrounding it.

"Packing?" Lucas asked.

"And unpacking. And repacking…and unpacking again." Nathan replied not tearing his focus off the suitcase. Lucas navigated around the items strewn across the floor to sit next to his brother on the couch.

"You're not Dan, Nate." Lucas said.

"No…I'm not…I just one upped him. Not only do I have two kids…one of them is with a man. What am I supposed to do? Choose between them…"

"So you're going to choose neither and leave?" Lucas asked.

Nathan shook his head, "I fucked up enough, Luke…They would all be better without me."

"That's not true…" Lucas paused, "You know as much as I hated Dan a part of me wished…"

"Don't do that Lucas." Nathan fumed, "Don't offer an anecdote of your personal experience…we both know you were better off with Keith, instead of Dan."

Lucas sighed, he couldn't argue with that. "Nathan this is your chance to be better. No one is asking to choose between your kids. And no one is asking you to choose between Jake and Haley. But you do have a choice, little brother, do you step up and be the better person that Jake and Haley taught you to be or do you hurt everyone by throwing it all away. Some times things break…you've just got to rebuild anyhow."

Jake answered the knock at his door, surprised to see Peyton standing there. "Peyton, what are you doing here?"

She entered the door with a box of pizza, "I figure with that everyone would be rushing to Haley, and even Nate…I thought you should know you still have friends."

He brushed it off, "Not that I really deserve it…"

"Aw, don't do that Jake, emo doesn't suit you." Peyton set the pizza down on the coffee table and made her way to Jenny sitting on the floor. "Besides, you didn't do anything wrong…the only person with blame is Nathan for not saying anything to Haley."

"And it's completely excusable for me not to tell Nathan about Jenny being his?" He asked.

Peyton eyes showed no surprise, she had already been filled in by Brooke, but Nathan's connection to Jenny was not going anywhere outside their circle. "You did what you thought was right…Sure, maybe if you had told him in the first place things would be different, but really Jake we all know that it would something bad…if Dan had found out…."

Jake simply nodded to himself. She had a point. The two continue talking, the subject changing to Peyton's internship, and which college scholarship Jake was going to accept.

Eventually Peyton headed out, and Jake found himself alone with his daughter. As he got her ready for bed he wondered, now that Nathan knew what would happen. It could never go back to how it was. Even if Nathan ignored her it would be different, because he knew. And what if he tried to step up, and decided….no, he did not believe that Nathan would ever be that cruel to try and take Jenny away from him. Still, Nathan possible responses weighed on his mind.

Until next time, this is me…signing out