A/N: Hey Hey... soo sorry about the late post... RL slipped away from me... Anywho... if ya haven't checked it out... the first outtake has posted- Its posted under Off the Beaten Path- check it out... You won't regret it!

So... we left our couple wondering who had spotted Edward...

Disclaimer: All characters belong to that of Stephenie Meyer, we however are many twilight addicts who simply can't resist playing with her toys.

Chapter 10 - By EternallyCullen

BPOV

I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when he asked me if I would pretend to be his girlfriend. His eyes were darting from me, looking across the grass and pathway to where I could only describe as a botox infested cougar was headed our way.

I was about to question him, but he inhaled sharply and closed his eyes momentarily as if he was gearing himself up for either something big, or something rather uncomfortable. Wow, he must have a stalker or something. With the way in which this person was stalking over to him, made me realize that they were obviously acquainted – but this far from home? I made note to ask him about it later. It seemed a little weird that someone he knew would suddenly appear on our European Road trip.

Wow... that's no botox, but by the looks of those lines, she needs it I thought as I studied her face, as she got closer. She stopped about five feet away from us and placed her hands on her unnaturally tiny waist and gazed down at Edward.

"Why Edward, darling... it's been a while."

Looking rather pained, Edward looked up, shielded his eyes from the unusual sunlight and faked a smile. "Er, hi Mrs Denali..."

"Please, Edward, you know better than that... Carmen."

"Yeah, sure... er... Carmen. Sorry, I've been pretty busy."

Seriously-in-need-of-some-good-botox woman grinned at him. "I was expecting a call from you, that's all. When I saw your mother two weeks ago she told me that she'd get you to give me a call about seeing too those darn bushes again... you know your strong... green fingers are far better than mine."

Bushes? What now?

Edward gulped and I felt his eyes back on me. I scooted up towards him further and sat closer so that our thighs touched. I felt him relax immediately. Please have the strength to answer her. Cougar licked her lips.

"I do apologize, C... Carmen... I'm sure it was an honest mistake, but I didn't realize that you were trying to get a hold of me – and well, you know my mom, shopping takes up a large part of her mind, she may well have been distracted when you were speaking to her..."

"Oh, no worry my little hunk of a manchild."

Erm... ewww? I bravely reached across and my hand found Edward's thigh. I couldn't help but grin like a crazy bitch on heat when Carmen noticed and she paled a little.

"You know what, I think your mom did mention something to me, sweetie." I began as I rubbed small circles across his jeans. "But I guess you were too pre-occupied at the time to have remembered, I'm sorry baby." I pouted and then turned my attention to the hopeful cougar and bit my lip dramatically. "Please, accept my sincerest apologies. It's my fault. Edward has been so busy recently."

Carmen backed off a notch. "Your mother didn't mention you had a new girlfriend, Eddie... oh my, Tanya and Katie are going to be utterly devastated when they hear about this."

Bullshit! Unless he does appear to have a fanclub. I wondered if Tanya and Kate were this woman's kids, or if she had her own pack of fellow cougars. I shuddered at the thought of him being followed by all these old women – unless of course he liked that sort of thing? Eww.

Edward gulped again. I wondered when the hot boy would find his balls and voice. I moved my hand higher and was shocked to find that he'd wrapped one arm around my waist, and his other was resting on my own jean clad thigh. The cat, however, still appeared to have his tongue.

Okay, so it was obviously time for me to step in and save him... again... I gripped his thigh tighter and gazed at him lovingly. He turned his attention on me and his eyes seemed to glaze over a little. My thigh tingled from its touch – reminding me from when his hand had accidently been attached to my breast the night before.

"Yes, well, it's all still pretty new to us, but we're very happy. Edward is very... how can I say it?" I paused and thought for a moment. Edward gulped again. "He's very attentive to my needs. I won't be letting this one go in a hurry."

It was technically only a half truth. I mean Edward of course had been keeping me satisfied, or rather the thoughts of him whilst playing with my cute little vibrating rubber ducky before its demise of course. Sniff.

"Well, I guess that's just great. Well, Edward... do send my regards to your mother - never did I expect to run into you, so far from home... maybe if you are not too busy when you return, you might call me and come and earn your pocket money. My garden is just so untidy right now and in need of a mans... touch."

I'd fucking bet it is, you haggard old whore.

I moved closer to Edward and bravely nuzzled his cheek. Holy fuck he smelt so good, even though he was perspiring a little. I put that down to nerves and almost being drawn into cougar-ville.

"It was really nice to meet you!" I almost yelled, as I willed her to get the hell out of our space.

Edward offered her a meek wave and I had to refrain from rolling my eyes. Man up!

Carmen started to retreat and Edward visibly relaxed once again. I loosened my hand on his thigh and was impressed when he didn't quite let me go. He instead rested his head on my shoulder and exhaled.

"I think you got some 'splainin' to do, Mr." I told him with a smile.

He raised his head and looked uneasy again.

"It happens a lot, right?" I asked.

Edward's nose wrinkled up and I took that response as an informative yes.

Oh... hell... well, boy is hot, but it's still very, very gross. That woman had to be at least forty.

For the first time in minutes, and now that cougar bitch was apparently out of earshot, I heard the tone of Edward's soft voice.

"Oh look, Bella, ducks! Do you want to go feed them?"

A/N: Bella to save the day! Ohh look.. Edward wants to feed the ducks? Is that the best he can do?

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