Chapter 9: Violence and Humour

For some of the children, references to past events can be quite terrifying; causing emotional stress that can quickly becomes violent and destabilizing.

"We're going to ask you some questions, ok?" Sakura began, already dreading this interview. The boy shrugged.

"So, what's your name?"

"You know my name. Itachi told you, the snitch." He crossed his arms and pouted.

"Just answer the question." Ino barked.

"Why should I?"

"Because we want you to."

"Why do I care?"

"Hidan!" Sakura growled.

He pointed an accusatory finger at her as he yelled, "See! You know my name!"

"Alright, moving on." Ino said brightly, trying to maintain her optimism, "Where are you from?"

"A dark hole." He replied confidently.

The girls pulled back in confusion, "What do you mean "a dark hole"?"

"Well, it's a hole," He grinned, "and it's dark."

"So, where is this dark hole?" Sakura asked dryly, hoping that if she played along they'd make some progress. She was wrong.

Hidan looked around the room before answering, "An even bigger dark hole!"

"You obnoxious little brat!" Ino raged, "Answer the questions properly!"

He stuck his tongue out at her.

"Hidan." Sakura growled again.

"It was a hot spring." He said quickly.

"Hot spring," Ino mumbled as she wrote it down. Then she looked up and asked, "And how old are you?"

"Ten!" He said proudly.

"Try lower."

"Eleven!"

"That's higher."

"Twelve?"

"I don't think so."

"Then why did you ask?" He asked in indignation. Ino groaned and face palmed.

"Hidan!" Another growl. He squeaked.

"How do you know the other boys?"

Hidan grinned, "I am their king and they are my subjects."

"Oh, really." Sakura murmured while Ino rolled her eyes.

"Yep, yep, uh huh."

"And how did you become their king?"

"Well, Kakuzu yelled at Deidara and I made him cry. So I'm the king!" He crossed his arms, his chest swelled up with pride. Ino went red with anger.

"That is not something to be proud of." She seethed.

"Yeah I know." Hidan said dropping his arms to the table, completely unfazed by her anger. "Deidara cries so easily. So does Tobi, but that's funny. Well it was before Itachi stepped in, he's such a spoilsport!" He paused then smirked, "I want to make Nagato or Yahiko cry! Or Sasori! That's a challenge."

Ino's jaw dropped and she turned to Sakura. "We should so beat some manners into this kid! You hold him, I'll hit him." A touch of worry entered Hidan's eyes.

"No, we can't do that." Sakura stated, trying to calm Ino. Hidan smirked.

"You're right. You're stronger. I'll hold him and you hit him!" Hidan's smirk slipped.

"No. Let me handle him."

Hidan sighed in relief, then sat up with an arrogant smirk as Sakura turned back to him.

"Alright Hidan, that's enough nonsense. Now I want you to be serious and answer the questions. Understood?" He shrugged. Sakura leaned across the table and asked again, "Is that understood?"

He sank down in his seat and nodded.

"Good." She smiled and sat down. "So, what do you remember from before two weeks ago?"

"There was blood." He said quietly. At first Ino and Sakura thought he was still playing around but they quickly realized he was serious and he was scared.

"Where was the blood?"

"All around. It was all over me. And there were knives and weapons in me and my hands were red and black and I couldn't move. And there was a dead body in front of me with blood all over it. It smelt horrible and I could feel it on me and taste it and it was ARGH!" He grabbed his head, his eyes wide and terrified and unseeing. Then it was like he lost all motor functions; his head slammed down onto the table and his arms fell to his sides.

Sakura rushed round to him, lifting his head up gingerly to see what he'd done. He'd split his head open on the edge of the table and bitten his tongue. Blood trickled down his face from his forehead and a little bit trailed out of the corner of his mouth.

"Quick, get a nurse!" Ino raced out of the room and Sakura turned back to the injured child.

"Hidan, can you hear me?" She looked into his still open eyes, searching for a sign that he was alright. He blinked and looked at her in confusion. What he said next chilled her to the bone.

"Who the fuck are you, bitch?"

Then he keeled over, unconscious.

The boy sat at the table, nervous because some of the other children had come into this room but had not returned. He looked at the two older girls facing him across the table, and before either of them could start, he asked, "You aren't going to kill me, are you?" with a worried look on his face.

"No." They looked at each other in confusion then back at him as Sakura began the interview.

"We just want to ask you some questions. Ok?"

He nodded, although he was still nervous.

"Ok, what's your name?"

"Kisame Hoshigaki."

He jumped when Ino yelled, "Finally! A last name!"

Sakura grinned and shook her head before turning back to the boy. "Do you know where you're from?"

"Hidan said I come from the ocean because I'm a shark." He said. Then he blushed. "Do you think I'm a shark?" he asked shyly.

They looked at each other again.

"No. You aren't a shark." Sakura said gently.

"So, do you know where you really come from?" asked Ino.

"I'm the Monster from the Mist!" He said proudly.

"Who told you you were a monster?" asked Sakura angrily.

"Um... uh... I don't know. It was someone…" he finished weakly, cringing under her wrath and unsure what to do next. He watched as they glanced at each other again. His eyes narrowed, then widened. "You are going to kill me! Help me! Somebody!" He jumped off his seat and began banging on the door. "They're going to kill me like all the others!"

They ran over to him but he darted under the table to the other side of the room and pressed himself against the wall, trembling uncontrollably. Ino was about to rush over but Sakura stopped her.

"Kisame, we aren't going to kill you." She said, slowly stepping forward, hands out in front, making placating gestures.

"Did you kill the others?" he asked, sliding along the wall away from her before glancing at Ino to see if she'd moved.

"No, we didn't kill the others." Sakura said softly, still moving toward him.

"Not even Hidan? Because Zetsu said he was bleeding and the ladies in the white coats took him away!"

"Hidan hit his head on the table." She said, trying to convince him. "We think he was having a seizure."

"It's the blood." Kisame whispered as he backed into the corner.

"What?" Ino approached from the other side.

"Hidan falls over when he talks about blood." Kisame said solemnly, eyes wide and glancing between the two girls.

"So this has happened before?"

Kisame nodded and he sank to the floor.

"Does it happen a lot?"

Kisame shook his head.

"What happened last time?"

For a moment, the girls didn't think he would answer because he closed his eyes and put his head down. They crept closer as he started talking.

"Hidan and Itachi were fighting and Itachi hit Hidan in the nose and he started bleeding. He fell backwards then he sat up and he was just looking at the blood on his hand. Then Kakuzu came in and told them off but he couldn't do anything because Tobi was hanging off him and whining about food. So he just yelled at Hidan to clean himself up and Hidan looked up at him and said…" Kisame shuddered, "it was creepy."

"Kisame, what did he say?"

"He had a deep voice and he … he said "I will sacrifice to Jashin, you and each of your hearts." And then his eyes rolled up and he fell over."

The girls sat back in shock and Kisame looked from one to the other.

"I don't like that Hidan." He whispered, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Don't worry about that Hidan. He won't hurt you." Ino said gently, crouching down beside the boy.

Kisame looked up at her, then over at Sakura, then back at the floor. "I never said I was scared of him." he grumbled. "I just don't like him."

"So, you aren't scared?" asked Sakura. Kisame shook his head.

"So, could you answer the rest of the questions?"

"I suppose so."

They led him back to the table and returned to their seats.

"So, do you remember from before two weeks ago?" Ino picked up her pen, ready to record his answer.

"Sure."

"What do you remember?"

"I worked in a team. I never got to finish my fights. There was this ugly snake guy. Sasori lost, which was surprising. Deidara doesn't like Tobi or Itachi. Kakuzu likes money and Hidan, well I don't think Hidan likes anything except trouble."

"Then why are you friends with him?"

Kisame grinned, "Because it's fun."

"But you're misbehaving."

"Yeah, but its fun."

Ino leaned over and whispered to Sakura and Sakura nodded.

"You told us you were from Mist. Do you remember anything from there?"

"Like what?"

"Your parents? Maybe your first day of school."

Kisame whimpered a little, then he covered his face and refused to look at them.

"What is it?"

"My mother was scary." He mumbled, "and training was hard." Then he raised his head and grinned, "But I beat them all. That means I can do what I want!"

"No it doesn't!"

"Yes it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Oh, cut it out you two." Sakura snapped.

"Fine." Ino huffed.

"Fine." Kisame grumbled, "But it does."

Sakura shook her head, as Ino snorted in disdain.

"Alright, we have just one more question. Kisame, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Kisame looked down at his hands, not willing to face the girls. Then he mumbled something, and both Ino and Sakura frowned.

"I want to be wanted."

The most notable exception was the boy known as Tobi. Seemingly insignificant facts arose throughout the other interviews that led to an astonishing revelation concerning Tobi's identity. We know that Tobi's presence caused Deidara to attempt his jutsu and his interruption was the contributing factor in the current situation. We understand that prior to his partnership with Deidara, Tobi was paired with Zetsu.

According to Zetsu, Tobi was angry with Deidara's attempts to bring Sasori back to life.

They sat at the table, the two girls quietly watching as the boy glanced all around the room.

"We're going to ask you some questions." Sakura began. "What's your name?"

"My name is Zetsu." He replied, finally looking at her.

"Don't any of these kids have last names?" Ino muttered under her breath.

"I can't remember it." He said.

"Oh."

"Do you remember where you're from?"

He sat there for five minutes, eyebrows furrowed, frowning, eyes closed. He was obviously thinking hard. Then he opened his eyes and said, "I came from a tree."

"Huh?"

"What do you mean "a tree"?"

He burst into giggles, causing the two girls to frown.

"Zetsu, did Hidan tell you that?" More laughter was his only response.

Ino growled, "That little pest! He's not even here and he's annoying us!"

"Zetsu, come on. Behave yourself."

He didn't stop immediately, but when he was paying attention again Ino asked, "Do you know where you're from or not?"

He nodded, still grinning.

"Where?"

"Where are we?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's where I'm from."

Ino dropped her head to the table and groaned. "I am never having kids!"

Sakura rolled her eyes before leaning over and asking, "What about Deidara? The whole room heard you say he was adorable."

An unintelligible mumble came from Ino and Zetsu's eyes lit up; ready to find Hidan and tell him Deidara's mother doesn't want him. Sakura caught the look and was quick to halt his plans.

"Zetsu, if you say anything about this interview to anyone, you will be punished. Understood?"

Zetsu nodded fearfully. He'd seen what Sakura had done to Hidan.

"Good. Ino get up, we have to finish the interview."

Ino groaned again but she sat up. "Alright, alright. Next question." She scanned the page in front of her. "How old are you?"

"I don't know."

"Really?"

Zetsu shrugged.

"How do you know the other children?" Sakura asked, bypassing Ino's annoyance that none of the children seemed to know their age.

"I've watched them before."

"What does that mean?" asked Ino, clearly annoyed that his answers were vague.

He shrugged again and repeated the statement.

"Do you remember anything from before two weeks ago? When you all woke up?"

"I remember… I remember Deidara and Tobi were upset, no angry with each other. Deidara doesn't like Tobi and Tobi didn't like what Deidara was doing. So he interrupted it."

"He interrupted what exactly?"

"He stopped what Deidara was doing and then it exploded."

"What exploded?"

"Everything!"

"And then what?"

"And then I woke up."

"Do you remember anything else?" Ino asked.

"No."

"Nothing else about the others?" asked Sakura.

Zetsu tilted his head at Sakura, "Like what?"

"Like their personalities, what they like to do, what they like to eat… you said you've watched them. What did you see them doing?"

Zetsu looked up at the ceiling from the corner of his eye. Then he looked around the room. The girls stared at him as his eyes travelled all around the walls. Then he put his hands over his eyes and propped his elbows on the table. He looked out from behind his fingers, his gold eyes crinkled.

"What was the question?"

Sakura face-palmed. "Never mind."

"Do you remember your last birthday?" Ino inquired. He propped his chin in his hands and looked at her curiously.

"What's a birthday?"

"It's a celebration of the day you were born." Ino said shakily, "You've never had a birthday?"

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"What about your parents? Do you remember them?"

"Not really."

"What do you remember?"

Zetsu scratched his head. Then he crossed his arms on the table and played with his shirt sleeve. "My mum liked singing. She sang like a little bird. It was pretty, like the wind in the leaves of a big tree."

"What about your dad?" asked Sakura, just as surprised.

"He was outside a lot."

"That's all?" Ino scribbled down his answer, marvelling that he'd forgotten so much. Zetsu nodded, confused that they were making such a big deal about it. "But that's so sad!"

"Why?"

"Because they were your parents. They loved you and cared for you. How can you not remember them?"

"Ino, focus."

"Shut up." Ino turned back to Zetsu. "Do you remember anything else from when you were with them?"

"Like what?"

"Your first day of school."

"I didn't go to school."

"Not at all?"

"There wasn't a school."

"Didn't anyone teach you anything?"

"Yes, my mum did."

"Do remember any of your lessons?"

"Some of them." He leaned across the table and his voice dropped to a whisper, "But don't tell her that. She'll get angry."

They couldn't help it, they grinned. He looked so cute. Ino whispered back, "Don't worry, we won't." and Zetsu sat back with a smile on his face.

Sakura looked down at the page, "There's just one last question. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A tree."

"Zetsu, you can't be a tree."

"Why not?"

"You're a boy."

Zetsu stood up on his seat, "I can be "Tree Man"!" He struck a pose.

Ino and Sakura looked at each other and grinned. "I think he needs a cape."