9/20/10

Okay, I'm going to be honest with you, readers, I pulled this chapter out of my ass. I have only a few ideas as to where this fic is going aside from a few scenes I imagined in my head during the story's first development. Therefore, it's going to take far longer to write than I had hoped. This chapter could be considered an overly dramatic filler. It's very short, for which I apologize, but it's all I've got right now.

I thank those of you who have reviewed and placed me on their various lists. Thanks for sticking with me, despite my slow pace.

Enjoy.

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Harry's visits to Tom grew longer as winter turned into spring. He found himself, in his "human" form, discussing many things with the man. They spoke of their pasts, plans for the future, and, for Tom, how Lux would be involved.

"Once I rule the Ministry," he would say, "you'll be cared for by the whole of its working force. Hundreds of witches and wizards to cater to your needs while I work."

Harry always held his tongue when Tom spoke of such things. He couldn't just tell his master, his friend, that he didn't want that life for himself, that, perhaps, he wasn't cut out to be Minister of Magic. His heart would tighten whenever Tom would talk to him about their future together as the best of companions.

'I'm betraying him…' he thought. And his heart would tighten further.

Often times he would lie awake at night, wondering why his heart was reacting like this.

'It didn't hurt this much when Ron betrayed me in Fourth Year, or when I know I'll be returning to the Dursleys, or any other time. Why is it hurting now?'

This question he could not answer. All he knew was that when the man was stroking his back, as they lay in bed together before sleep, all those thoughts disappeared until the hand stopped and its owner was asleep.

"I want to be here," he whispered to himself one night before he shifted to return to school. "I want to be next to him, no matter how much it hurts."

He was confused and there was only one person he could ask for help with this matter; his most trusted friend and advisor.

XxXxX

One morning, Harry decided he would do just that. So he got up, forsaking his routine morning shower, and walked down the dorm staircase to find her. As usual, she was seated in front of the fireplace, reading. This time, it appeared to be a book of poetry. Waiting until she finished one page and was turning to the next, Harry spoke.

"Hermione."

The girl turned and looked at him. She was about to give him a cheerful "Good morning" when she saw his eyes.

"What's wrong, Harry?"

He nearly smiled. She was so clever, this girl, so observant. Of course she'd notice something was wrong.

"I need your help with something. Something personal," he said, moving to sit next to her on the couch.

"I'm listening," she said, closing her book and looking directly at him in that way that annoyed others but made Harry feel like he was most important in this moment.

"It's… It's hard to explain," he stated nervously.

"Just try your best."

Harry took a deep breath and began explaining as best he could without giving Tom's identity away.

"I have this friend, a good friend, and he's really amazing. The only problem is that, well… he's a Slytherin."

'It isn't a lie, really. He's the biggest Slytherin out there, Salazar's heir.'

"So?" Hermione asked. "I'm friends with Theodore Nott and he's a Slytherin."

Harry's eyes widened slightly in surprise at her admission. He had noticed the two talking to each other in class at times, whispering and consulting each others' notes, but he hadn't thought they were that close.

"He's a good person, and very clever," she continued, "I really enjoy spending time with him. This friend of yours sounds nice as well, so why should it matter what house he's in?"

'Because he's the Dark Lord," he thought, heart twisting again.

Of course he didn't voice this thought. Instead, he said, "Because his ideals fit those of a typical dark wizard. He says and does things I could never agree with, and yet I can't stay away. Every time I have to say goodbye to him, my heart aches. Every time he talks about his future involving me, I want to cry. And every time he looks at me I…" He couldn't continue, so he stared deep into the fire, trying to clear his thoughts.

This time it was Hermione's eyes that widened. "Harry," she spoke tentatively, "do you love this person?"

Harry nearly fell over in shock. LOVE? How could he be in love with the Dark Lord Voldemort, the man who tortured and killed countless men and women, including his own parents, and who wanted him dead? It just wasn't possible.

Not only were all these things he'd thought about him true, but also he was a man, and man in his seventies, no less! It was true, Harry had been in relationships with both women and men, but this was different. This was wrong. Then he thought hard about that word. Wrong. He didn't feel wrong talking to Tom, he didn't feel wrong when they slept in the same bed, and he felt the opposite of wrong being touched by the man.

He blushed. 'Oh god. Oh god, no!' He clenched his eyes shut and tried to slow his pounding heart. "I'm in love with him," he said. 'I'm in love with the Dark Lord.'

XxXxX

Harry stopped visiting Tom after that. He told himself it would only be for a few days, but those days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Before he knew it, spring was nearly over and nothing he felt had changed. Could he really never return to Riddle Manor? The idea of never seeing Tom again made him want to howl in sorrow.

'When did it become like this? How could this possibly happen? He's the Dark Lord, the darkest of all dark wizards. A lying, torturing, murdering snake. How could I fall in love with someone like that? How could I betray my parents?'

These thoughts and ones similar buzzed about his head as he sat through his classes.

"I'm so confused,' he thought, 'Make it stop!'

And then an idea popped into his head. What if he could make it stop? What if he could erase these feelings and, once again, hate Voldemort?

"It's a long shot," he said to himself, "but it's my only hope…"

XxXxX

And that's it for chapter ten, chapter eleven is going to be more exciting. Please review.

Happy Reading.