Ashley hummed a dark tune to herself as she dusted off the, uh, dust, from the walls of the mansion's corridors. Peach and her friend Daisy- a trophy character who was allowed to stay due to Master Hand not wanting to upset anyone at the exclusion of their respective trophy friends- had decided to clean some parts of the mansion, and the small witch was unfortunate enough to be in their sights at the time of their starting.
Nevertheless, she took her duties seriously, so the witch found nothing wrong with doing a proper job. Even if she didn't want to do it initially, she now knew of Peach's terrifying side from her... rather pointless Happy Tea Time event. Thing.
"...uh oh," Ashley suddenly said, grimacing. "I feel like I'm the focus of something..." she muttered.
Then, just nearby, she noticed a certain royal penguin exit a room. King Dedede, likewise, noticed her and raised an eyebrow. He made his way towards her, intent on being a jerk to the often-pissed witch. "Hey, squirt. What am I seeing here... uh oh." He suddenly froze.
Ashley blinked. "What?"
"...I'm outta here!" Dedede said, quickly turning tail and fleeing the scenes.
Confusion rising, Ashley looked behind her thinking perhaps someone terrifying was behind her. She saw no one around, confusing her even more. "What the hell is up with him...?" she mused. And why do I feel like I'm being focused on...?
Then she saw Falco coming from where Dedede had fled. "What's the matter with Dedede? Seemed all terrified or something... oh, hey kiddo," the avian greeted the witch.
"I'm not a kid," Ashley growled.
Falco blinked. "...huh."
"...?" The witch noticed the pilot just staring at her, unfazed. "What?"
"Seems like the story's back, huh. Good for you, mnkm. Finally getting off your lazy ass to write something, after three damn months." Falco snickered and, hoping the author wouldn't do something to him, took the chance to walk away whilst savoring the taste of coffee from his cup.
Ashley blinked, before she growled. "Oh, so that's why... I'm the damn focus of this chapter, aren't I?" she asked no one in particular.
Sighing, the girl resumed her given duties and dusted more, uh, dust, off the walls.
This lasted for several seconds... no, few minutes... hm, more than few...
The small witch stuck to her duties, unfazed.
Bowser casually strolled down the corridors of Smash Mansion- a different area of the mansion, by the way, mind you- humming the theme of his dark counterpart from the Mario & Luigi series. He suddenly frowned and stopped in his tracks, scratching his chin. "Wonder why'd I hum that song? Hm... must be forced but late promotional action."
Not questioning his questionably on-point guess that would seem insane to, well, anyone, the king of Koopa continued merrily through the empty corridors, when...
"We're all trapped in this crappy story again!" Dedede cried, running past him.
Slightly surprised, Bowser jumped sideways and stared as the royal penguin disappeared somewhere. He raised an eyebrow. "Never really understood what that fellow was high on, even from before the Tabuu crap..." he muttered. "Oh, well. Back to finding Junior, I suppose."
He then resumed walking and, taking a turn right, ended up at the entrance of one of the mansion's many living rooms. The reptile saw his son sitting inside the room, but noticed the little lizard was also with someone- notably a light-skinned rabbit of a certain hedgehog's universe.
"Hey! Um, what do you think about, uh, this?" Bowser Jr. asked his new friend.
Cream the Rabbit chuckled. "Why, I think it looks really nice. You seem to be quite skilled at drawing, Junior."
"Y-yeah! I am!" Bowser Jr. exclaimed with an easily readable smile.
Bowser sniffed from outside, shedding a tear of joy. "Lil' Junior's found a new friend..." he whispered to himself. "Oh, they grow up so fast..."
Ike walked past and looked inside the room. I think it's more than that, buddy, he thought but didn't say.
Dr. Mario rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly, not even looking up. "I understand-a your enthusiasm, but if you don't-a stop, you'll be visiting me everyday..." he muttered.
Captain Falcon laughed. "A daily little visit from your best friend isn't too much trouble now, is it? C'mon, doc!"
Who's your best friend!? the doctor thought. "Douglas, as-a happy as I feel about you totally cherishing our friendship, my supplies-a don't remain forever. I'll run out-a fast and have to buy more, and that's-a being done out of my own-a wallet!"
The racer scratched his head. "I mean... that sounds just about right."
"..." Dr. Mario grimaced. That was indeed quite normal, he supposed, but the thought of having to visit various medical places for supplies more often irked him to no end. "What are you even doing to make-a everyone beat you up everyday?"
"I dunno, doc. Everyone just can't stop being angry at me for some reason..." The racer slash bounty hunter sighed. "They ought to show me more respect! Falcon respect, I tell ya!"
"...that doesn't tell me-a much, Douglas," Dr. Mario said.
Captain Falcon shrugged. "Well, whatever. Anyways, I think I know something that could help you, doc!" He pulled out a bottle of questionable liquid from hyperspace and presented it to his adversary. "See this? This amazing Falcon Punch can help cure your patients' wounds and illnesses for sure, hundred percent guaranteed! I bet it can even cure cancer, because everyone knows cancer only Falcon Loses!"
What the hell? Dr. Mario thought.
"To top it off, my Falcon Punch is loved by everyone! Give your patients a daily dose of Falcon Punch, and-"
"Yeah, no," Dr. Mario grumbled and took the bottle from his patient, throwing it out the window.
"Noooo! My Falcon Punch!"
Lucina let out a small moan, then quickly covered her mouth. "M-my apologies!"
Palutena chuckled. "It's alright, Lucy. That was an adorable squeak out of you just now."
The dame flushed red, pouting. "I, I can't help it, Lady Palutena. Your hands are just magical..."
I'm just caressing your hair though... the green haired goddess thought. "I see. How flattering..."
Silence took over the room once more as she sat in silence, the deity resuming her gentle treatment of the warrior's hair.
"But still... what pretty hair you have, Lucy. I'm almost envious of you."
"B-but that's... your hair looks much more beautiful though!" Lucina interjected. "I mean, green hair! My lady, I think you've definitely earned your title as a goddess!"
...what title? the goddess thought once more. "That's really flattering to hear, Lucy. But perhaps a bit too nice... you charmer, you, are you trying to get on my good side?" she asked with a grin.
Lucina frowned, but blushed nevertheless. "W-wha- of of of of course not!" she denied. "I, I'm not that shameless, Lady Palutena!"
Another chuckle. "Sure you aren't." Palutene leaned forward and planted a kiss on the girl's cheek. "Anyways, that's enough for now, I suppose. I just remembered something I have to do. See you later, Lucy."
"...r-right..." the warrior whispered back, completely fazed by what she had just received.
Wh... what was that!? she thought. Lady Palutena just... Lady Palutena just kissed me! On the cheek!
Her lips started to form a smile. Quivering in embarrassment, the girl tried to force the smile away, but eventually she was smiling so brightly that an aura of happiness emanated from her.
At that moment, Snake casually strolled into the room. "Hm? Oh, Marth's chick clone. What's up?" he asked."You look so happy right n-"
"A-Addis Ababaaaaa!" Lucina suddenly screamed, unsheathing her sword and jabbing at the mercenary, completely taken by his entrance.
"W-whoa! Lady what the f-"
"I'm not happy right now!" Lucina shrieked with an unconvincing smile. Fearing for his life, Snake ran out the room, and the girl gave chase, screaming out more obvious denials.
Crazy Hand twitched as he floated in his room. "My cozy room," he corrected. Yes, his cozy room.
Suddenly-
"Announcement to all readers!" he shouted. Struggling around in his room, he began knocking things down his shelves, but with magical powers he rearranged everything back to how they were before his spasms. "Listen up, you plebeians!
From now on, this story's going to become less of a oneshot collection! It's going to start getting plotlines and arcs and that stupid crap!
It's also going to be longer again and probably slightly but just slightly as in only a little bit better than before!
But it's still crap! Everything's still crap! I'm crap! You're crap! FanFiction dot Net is cra-"
"What is going on here!?" Master Hand yelled, barging into the room."Crazy, please stop shouting stuff. I'm getting complaints from some people who've just woken up that your screaming is killing them."
"Just woken up!?" Crazy Hand repeated. "But it's noon!"
"I know, right? Let's go educate everyone about the benefits of sleeping early," Master Hand suggested.
Crazy Hand rolled his eyes...? "Oh, brother."
ENDROLL
CREDITS
MASTER HAND AS... Master Hand
CRAZY HAND AS... Crazy Hand
ASHLEY AS... Tsundere Witch Girl
KING DEDEDE AS... Royal Duck
FALCO AS... Falco
DOUG BOWSER AS... Turtle Dad
BOWSER JR. AS... Definitely a Furry
CREAM THE RABBIT AS... Furry Bait
IKE AS... One-Line Dude
DOCTOR WHO AS... Dr. Mario
FALCON PUNCH AS... Product Placement
LUCINA AS... Newfound Lesbian
PALUTENA AS... Palucina Tease
SOLID SNAKE AS... Butt Monkey
MNKM AS... The Best Auth-
"Yeah, okay, this is boring," Crazy Hand muttered. "Let's go, brother!"
"Uh, right. Let's go." The two hands floated out the room faster than Sonic, probably.
The room was then bathed in silence.
...
Yeah, so, I'll be picking up this story again and try to update it more... often? Wow, it's been like around three months since I last touched this. Haha, amazing how lazy I can be. Thing is, I've always wanted to incorporate serious plots into this story, but I had conflicting decisions on how to go about the story format, which eventually led to me being so lazy that I just sort of stopped updating it.
But now, with Smash Ultimate having come out several months ago, I wanted to pick up on this story again and finish all my SSB4 story plans. I'm also going to try and tone down the fourth wall crap a bit, since obviously I'm forcing it for the (non-existant) lols. Then again, I only did it because I thought I might as well as do it anyways, but now I'm too lazy to think of how to add in half-assed fourth wall breaking. Uh, I'm not even sure what I'm saying anymore, but basically I'll, uh...
...eh.
Let's just say I'm back to this story, and it's going to be less one-shot story and more story... story, now. Above were some reincorporated events from the original story (A Mix of Punch and Coffee). Further chapters will bring in new stories and perhaps even touch a bit on these shorts.
Ciaou ciaou, tune in next time for crap.
I guess.
Eh.