Chapter 10

Discussions

(Katniss's POV)

I'm still having seconds guessing on my decision to call Paylor and request to carry out the rest of my banishment to a different District. Peeta's explanations for agreeing with my mother were far more understandable than my mothers. Him and Haymitch had a longer conversation about it and both seem to think that District 12 was unhealthy for a newborn baby, and they were probably right, with winter coming it was going to make the rebuilding ten times harder than usual, no stone worker from 2 will want to work in zero degree weather, it would be inhumane anyway to make them bust their asses. My mother and Haymitch were still downstairs discussing whatever it was that my mother was trying to convince him to do which probably was make her legal guardian over me instead of Haymitch. I would rather have him as my guardian than her to begin with, its sad that I would choose my mentor over my mother, but she's not the same as she once was, the pain has corrupted her, maybe the desperate need to become a mother again is chewing away at her, maybe she wants another shot at this that's why she is so persistent in convincing me to give her rights over the baby. She wanted a second chance because she failed Prim and I, no way in hell is she going to get ahold of my baby.

Peeta and I sit upstairs on the soft bed, I sit Indian style with my back against the headboard and unconsciously stroking my large belly while Peeta stretches out across the bed with his hands behind his head, his eyes locked on me and his legs crossed. Talking with him makes me feel so much better, for a split second it makes me forget the trauma that both him and I faced. We spent most of the afternoon talking about our past lives before the games and before the rebellion, before I even knew he existed, well of course I always knew he existed, he was the boy with the bread, the boy who saved my life when I was a young kid. He fed me and my family, and I never even thanked him for it or acknowledged him, I wanted to, but my social skills weren't the best when I was younger so I guess it never happened.

"I never thanked you for the bread" I mumble taking a piece of his thin blonde hair between my fingers and rolling it between the two. "It was so long ago and I never thanked you or spoke to you until the games. I was so selfish back then. "

"I wanted to talk to you too after I threw you the bread, but I just never had the courage to do so. My oldest brother Bing would always call me a coward when it came to you. He went as far as telling me if I didn't get a move on that he was going to snatch you up, and then one day I saw the two of you in the hallway, exchanging small chatter, it was only for a brief second, but I always wondered what he told you that day."

I think hard for a moment, not sure of the memory that is plaguing his mind at the moment, but then it comes back to me all at once. I giggle and run my fingertips through his locks, scratching his scalp lightly "I dropped my books on the ground, he picked them up and handed it to me, then commented on how your father really loved my squirrels, and that the meals they brought to the table were delightful. He said that he was impressed that I managed to shoot them through the eye every time. The last thing he said was 'my little brother loved it the best'." I giggle again and place a kiss against his forehead "You were shy weren't you"

"Yes I was" He nods.

"You took a beating for me when we were kids" I move my hand and slide it down the side of his face so it lays flat against his cheek, imagines of the bruise that once settled there from his mother filled my mind and more guilt consumes me at the fact that I have never thanked for saving me and taking a beating. I place a kiss on the invisible bruise, something that I should have done a long time ago "Was your mother that bad?" The question is out of my mouth before I can stop it, it was his personal business and I shouldn't be priding.

Peeta sighs and sits up from his laying position, crossing his legs so that he to is sitting Indian style and is facing me. "My mother...was a very angry person" He begins, but his voice is soft and it's almost like he hates remembering things about his mother.

"It's okay I shouldn't have asked."

"It's okay I can talk about it. She was angry most of the time with the life that we had, which in all honesty was better than certain parts of the District. We had so much bread and pastries but we were never allowed to eat anything fresh, just the stuff that never sold and became out-of-date. She'd flip out on one of my brothers or on me if something went bad and we'd get smacked really hard. I'm not going to lie it seemed like I got hit the most because no matter what I did it was all wrong, I was doing everything wrong. She would hold my hand over the stove when I burnt something, hit me with a rolling-pin when I shaped the dough wrong or added the wrong things to it. She had to inspect everything that my brothers and I bake and if she didn't like it we'd get punish, it was the same punishment every time. For Bing she'd make him lay his hand on the table, take the rolling-pin and hit him over and over, while yelling these hands will develop the perfect product."

I never thought I can hate someone as much as I hate his mother now. What kind of sick human being does that to her boys. "What did she do to you?" I ask the question feeling anger and rage begin to bubble, how can anyone hurt him like that, his own mother abused him. He didn't deserve it, Peeta was a kind-hearted human being. The kindest man I have ever met in my entire life. This boy lost a leg for me, protected me in the games, gave me hope and convinced me to live when I didn't see a reason to, gave me the best first sexual experience of my life, something I most definitely wanted to do again, but couldn't until the baby was out. Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread, the best man in my life.

Peeta bites his lip "She would hit me over the head, tell me to use my brain and then she'd lock me in a closet for hours, sometimes I'd fall asleep in there, sometimes I'd be relieved that I was in there, it meant that I didn't have to be around her. I didn't have to hurt anymore"

"Can we agree on something right here and now" I plea, my gaze locked on his.

"Sure." He nods, waiting to hear what I have to say.

I lean forward to take hold of one of his hands, bringing it up to my stomach and forcing him to gently lay it flat against my prodding stomach, both my hands cover his and I peer up at him through my long lashes "Lets not ever lay a hand on her."

"Agreed, no matter what she does we will take action a different way. I don't want to hit her or you for that matter" His mind is going to the hijacking I just know it. He goes to pull his hand away from my stomach and as he does I lean forward and place my lips on his, a sign that I believe he will never hurt her or me in any way ever again.

"She is going to have such a good daddy"

"Your so sure its a girl?" He grins cockily.

"Not a hundred percent, just call it a hunch." I reply.

"Do you want a girl?"

I shrug my shoulders "I don't know what I want, A happy, healthy baby, one that takes after her daddy"

He smiles softly and rubs my stomach gently, passion swells in my body as he does and I thank the lucky stars that I have him here with him. I love him deeply and passionately, what I need is my boy with the bread, the dandelion in the spring. How I ever even considered Gale as an option was a mystery to me, he has nothing but rage and anger deep within his soul and I don't need that. I don't need his temper or his hurtful words. I need Peeta in every which way. Peeta leans forwards and captures my lips, his hand cuffs the back on my head and I can feel his soft fingertips gliding through my hair.

"I love you" I tell him as we break apart. He doesn't respond, just cuffs both sides of my face, drawling my lips back to his. We kiss passionately again and before I know it I'm being pressed gently against the mattress with him hovering overtop of me, his lips are the only thing that touches me. I grip the base of his neck, wanting him to deepen the kiss, deepen it as far as it can go. The puckering of our lips as they move together and the soft creaks of the bed as we shift are the only sounds that can be hear in the room. He hovers over me on his arms and I can feel the strain as I move my hand over his bicep and forearm, he is getting tired of holding himself up on his arms and I know he is about to pull away and hover off of me, but I wasn't ready for his lips to vanish, the urge for his body against mine becomes great.

"You can lay on me, gently" I breath out between kisses. "You wont hurt me"

"The baby" His eyes flickers down between the two of us, biting his lip in worry "We shouldn't be..." I cut him off by bringing my lips back onto his.

"Shush, your fine, Now kiss me." I assure him, reconnecting our lips, despite his hesitation. I'm just about to try to pull his body down so at least some of his weight is being taken off his arms, but we don't get that far as the bedroom door opens and my mentor stumbles in, he takes in the sight and chuckles like a madmen, shaking his head as he comes fully inside my room.

"Isn't that what got you two into this mess. Teenage hormones. Your lucky it was me and not your mother. She'd have a cow and god Katniss, that woman is giving me a headache." Haymitch comments.

Peeta rolls off of me and returns to his Indian style position on the bed. I sit up a little too so I can get a fully view of Haymitch's cocky grin he is giving the both of us. Haymitch doesn't care that he has interrupted the passion that had begun to brew between us, he doesn't care that he just embarrassed the crap out of me, Peeta I'm not so sure if he is embarrassed or not,

"What do you want Haymitch" Peeta asks in irritation, obviously he wasn't ready to stop kissing me either.

"To see if you guys agreed on what you and I talked about, boy" Haymitch replies.

This spikes my curiosity and I look between the two of them in wonder. I could only guess it has something to do with the request in switching Districts. Deep down I was nervous with the results , I wonder is Paylor was going to ask questions and start poking her nose around in my business. What would the president of Panem think about her Mockingjay becoming pregnant. She would probably have so many cameras shipped over to 12, wanting interviews, She'd exploit the baby to the world, sending out a message saying if the star-crossed lovers feel safe enough to conceive then everyone was safe under her control.

"I mean guys I don't want no cameras, They can't know that I'm pregnant or else I wont be able to handle it." I warn gently.

"Don't worry I'll think of something" Peeta says softly.

"Yeah" Haymitch nods his head in agreement "The boys best quality is running that mouth of his, keeps you in line now does it"

"Actually he's not just good at running his mouth" I grin and Haymitch rolls his eyes drastically while Peeta blushes and peers over at me, a small smile begging to spread on his face. I know for a fact he wants the same thing I do, but his stubbornness makes it impossible. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze and then turns back to Haymitch who popped open the lid on his flask and is taking a large gulp of it.

"One more thing. Katniss, Now don't get pissed at me for suggesting this or bringing this up but..." He pauses for a moment making sure he has my full attention "A certain someone who we all know and hate has been hanging out in one of the empty houses. Now I'm not saying you have to, but I strongly suggest you do something before the boy does something stupid"

I frown in realization "Really you want me to talk sense into Gale? Who not only has yelled at me, Picked a fight with Peeta, but let jealousy consume him." I stare at Haymitch in disbelief. How could he suggest something like that. My life was better without Gale trampling all over it and making it complicated, but now here is my mentor, one of the men that dislikes Gale as much ass I do, suggesting that I go and talk to him after everything he has put me through.

"Hear me out. I hate the prick a lot, that's why I didn't bother coming around that guy is a dick, but recently he has been slinking about the empty lot, I don't know where he got the booze, but bottles litter that front porch and I'm pretty sure he has slept in that house without blankets, pillows or a bed. I pity him more than anything. Baker here did steal his warm cozy house."

"What are you saying? You want me to make up with him" I hiss angrily.

Peeta buts in "I don't want him near her or the baby"

"He was your best friend at one time Katniss. All I'm saying is there is something off about him and you might want to find out what"

"Gale can fend for himself. He killed my sister for one and that's unforgivable, you stayed away because of him, and Gale and Peeta can't be in the same room together,"

"Look Katniss, it'd be nice if we can fix the problem between the three of you. No more stress on you and no more whimpering around in the empty lot for him. He is staying for you, he hasn't left yet because he thinks there is still hope"

"I love him" I say and point to Peeta "Gale is nothing to me"

"I know I know. I'm just saying it will be good to fix whatever it is that's broken between you two, it will make life easier is all. Now I got to go you know where I live if you need anything. I'll be calling Effie first to tell her the big, big, big news if that's okay with you."

Peeta cuts in again "I want to call and tell her. Effie has stuck by me the entire time I was in the Capitol. She was like a mother to me."

Haymitch simply nods his head in understand and slinks out of the bedroom without even a goodbye. It's a good thing to because I am simply really irritated at him for suggesting I go and seek out the man who is consumed with Rage and Jealousy, Why would Haymitch even consider that, he should know as well as anyone that Gale isn't an easy person to talk to or convince. I'd be wasting my time in trying to fix things with him, besides he has left me alone these past couple of days, stayed in the shadows drowning his sorrows in that beer bottle who cares what he does. I truly hate him for everything he has put me through, no way I'm going to seek him out just to go through hell again.

"Your distracted" Peeta points out, he takes me in his strong arms and gently forces us against the mattress, his arms are around me and my head is across his chest and my one arm is slung across his chest as I draw random shapes into the fabric and inhale his heavenly, intoxicating scent that is like a drug to me.

"Why the hell would he suggest we mess with Gale?" I question.

I feel Peeta shrug "Maybe Gale is in bad shape or something, it has to be something serious if Haymitch would suggest we check on him and fix things with him. I hate him to for not taking a hint, but he was your best friend Katniss."

"Was, after everything that has happened how am I to forgive him?"

"It's hard I know, but Gale is your oldest friend and he was there for you when I couldn't be. I know he is an asshole but maybe that can change if you want it to. It'd be nice having a hunting partner back right?"

"I'm pregnant now so that means no hunting." I frown.

Peeta kisses the top of my head and then my lips "You can be so stubborn sometimes." I open my mouth to say something but he kisses me and soon we pick up right where we left off before Haymitch had barged into the room. He presses me into the mattress and I curl my hand into his hair, deepening our passionate kissing. God I really want to have sex with him, but its impossible he wont make love to me until the baby is out, even then I'm not so sure he will have the courage to succeed in doing it. His hijacking is a dangerous thing and I'm not looking forward to witnessing one of his episodes. Who knows maybe I wont have to witness it, maybe he is better and we never have to worry about his flashbacks again. If only it were that easy.

To be continued...