A/N: Shorter chapter, yet again, because I must work today and had little time to prepare this one. Hope it's alright!

Enjoy, review if you can, and hug a clown!

...

Wait, scratch that, kick the clown and run away! Clowns are evil!

(Mello P.O.V)

When night fell and we found a safe place for everyone to sleep, I went to my rooms to face the truth. The moment I walked in I saw the mirror on my bureau and shivered at eh thought of facing myself. I almost didn't want to know what people were seeing when they looked at me. The last time I saw my face though I was twelve and it had been through a reflection in the windows. Needless to say… the window didn't last very long.

But now I was seventeen, closing in on eighteen. I'd matured more than when I was that little boy who was afraid of himself. And more than enough people liked me the way I was right now, so it couldn't be as bad as I thought. But I was still afraid. Afraid that people only liked me because was deformed. Like they pitied me or thought little of me. Maybe Cardiss wasn't afraid of me because of status, but because of how horrid I looked.

But I needed to know the truth about myself… to see the truth.

So I slowly sat down at my bureau, keeping my head down, then took a breath and prayed for the best.

When I looked up…

…

…I barely recognized myself.

When I was much younger, I had puffy cheeks, small eyes, and an awkward and small body. Not to mention the dark, disfiguring scar over my left eye. But, when I looked into the mirror, I hardly even noticed the scar at this point. My eyes were what first caught my attention. They were like my mother's… blue like a clear winter's sky and twice as crisp. My skin wasn't as pale anymore, and my face wasn't puffy like beforehand. Although I was still a little small in stature, and I resembled mostly like my mother, I could see in my jawline that I somewhat resembled my father. The eye shape and tight jaw, not to mention my nose resembled his. My hair, however, was almost exactly like my mother's. Cascading lightly down my face and calmly resting at the ends. Yes, hers had been much longer than mine was, but it looked and felt the same.

I'd taken my hair out of the tie an hour or so ago, but something came over me and I couldn't help but pull it right back into the tie and see more of my face. That's when I noticed more of the scar.

My scar had not faded over time. It was still huge and noticeable… but it wasn't disfiguring. In fact, had I not taken a moment to look at it, I would have barely noticed it was there. And I wondered to myself why I'd been so afraid before.

I grinned to myself before realizing that it was too dark in my room to see anything. Yes, my candle was sufficient enough for this little reunion with myself, but it wasn't enough.

I looked over to my curtains before pulling myself out of my chair and walked towards it. Once I had the curtains in my grasp I flung them open revealing the storm had passed and the sky was clearing up into a night filled with thousands of stars. It was a wonderful sight, and the light of the moon illuminated my room a tenfold more than the candle had.

I blew out the flame and enjoyed the natural light itself. A deep navy washed over the red silks of my sheets and canopy to my bed, and the sea-foam green walls, decorated in old paintings and past drawings from hen I was a child. There was so much that I'd hidden away in the dark as a child, and I only now realized how cold I'd been to everyone while I was going through all this self-loathing. And I couldn't help but hate myself more because of all the people I'd hurt through all this.

I sat down on my bed and took a few breaths. I'd redeemed myself to my people, but my servants had had to endure my fits of rage and cold-heartedness. I'd broken so many things, and had said so many more terrible, horrible, things. But… why? Because of my scar? Why did my scar influence all this hatred?

I touched my cheek where the mark on my face, remembering how much I resembled my mother.

Maybe it had nothing to do with my blemish. Maybe I was just… too angry to think straight. My mother died when I was young, and I'd always blamed myself for it. She'd had to see me with my disfigurement right before she left the earth, and I instantly thought it was my fault. But how could it have been? I was a child, I didn't even do anything. She was just sick and couldn't get better… like Matt's mother.

Matt...

Even after losing his mother, after losing the only family he had, he was always so happy about who he was and what he stood for. Yes, he'd blamed himself for his mother's passing but he didn't take it out on anyone. And he was a mage! He could have the world if he truly tried! But he never took up arms against the innocent. He just allowed things to run its course and help whoever he could in the process. I wish I'd been as smart and brave as him when my own mother passed. Instead I took my anger out on those who were only trying to help me. Garrel, my father, Cyril, even Aiden and his sisters. None of them were out to get me, they just wanted to help... and I pushed them all away.

I heard a knock at my door before someone entered the room. I didn't bother to look up though.

"Well, what did you think?" Came Matt's voice. He seemed to be cheerful until he saw my face and kneeled down to look into my eyes. "Mello?"

I looked away, feeling like I didn't deserve to even look at this angel before me. He'd been nothing but kind to me, and all I'd done was continue to be selfish. I didn't care how I looked anymore, I hated myself now more than ever for the way I'd been treating people.

Matt got worried. "Mello, no one cares about your scar. I think you look beautiful the way you are, and you…"

"Stop, Matt." I interrupted calmly. "I don't care about that anymore."

"Then… what is it? Why are you sad?"

I didn't answer until I felt the man take my hand to grab my attention, and I confessed to how horrid I'd been treating everyone in my Palace. I told him about how I'd seen my scar and realized that I wasn't even angry about it to begin with. I told him about how my mother had to die knowing I was the last thing to be seen. Like it had been me and my horrid looks that killed her. And I told him how I'd taken out my anger on everyone else. I told him everything….

…and then I cried.

Matt had held me, but the tears didn't stop. I was angry and sad, scared and sorry, and I just didn't know what to do anymore. I didn't know what to do to for my people, for my servants, and all I could think of was just to end it all for everyone and take my own life. I didn't make this secret either and I begged for Matt to end me and my life. To just make everything better for the people around me so that they no longer have to deal with me.

Of course, being the angel that he was, he didn't do a thing.

"Mello, please just calm down!" He begged. "I won't end your life!"

"Just do it!" I demanded, tears streaming down my face. "You swore yourself to me! End it! END IT ALL!"

He grabbed hold of my wrists and pulled them away from me, making me look up at him. His eyes were an emotion I'd never seen before. Angry, hurt, betrayed… everything that was negative was in his eyes.

He placed his forehead onto mine. "I will not end your life because your people still need you. Your servants still need you. You father and step-mother still need you." He paused for a quick moment. "I still need you. What happened in the past can't be changed, but what you do right now affects everyone's futures. How would Idah feel if you gave up on her when you promised to be a righteous and just ruler like your other before you? Or what about Aerron and Melody? They have faith in you! And your subjects?! Your family! Everyone you know and care for! Are you going to throw away your life because of a few mistakes in the past!? Look at everything you've done right now! Look at all the lives you've impacted! Neither Malcom nor Selena could even come close to everything you've done! Your heart is the peoples and they love you for this! How could you even think about taking this away from them, when all they do is continue to have faith in you?! Even when you were holed up in this dark room they loved you!"

I'd finally stopped crying and I felt my heart break at his words. So much love… and I hadn't even seen it.

He loosened his grip on my hands and they fell beside me, but his head remained resting on mine. "You are so lucky, Mello. So many people care about you, so many of them love you, and still you can't learn to love yourself. How can you be so jaded that you can't see what they see? What I see every single day when you smile or laugh. Why do you think you're so worthless?"

I couldn't help myself. I hugged him the second I felt more tears form and I dared not to let him go. I didn't deserve his friendship, and I sure as hell didn't deserve his love. But I wanted to believe that what we had was indeed love to the fullest extent. That Matt wanted to cherish and care for me with the purest of love. My scar be damned! I didn't care about this curse being broken anymore! I wanted to feel loved like this for the rest of my life! No, I didn't deserve it from him, but I'd return his love by a tenfold if he chose to be with me. I couldn't relinquish the crown, but since Mat was in my service he could still be by my side. I wouldn't marry, I wouldn't find a wife or a consort to carry an heir, I'd forever be Matt's and his alone!

But how did I tell him all this? Would he even share in this plan?

I decided now wasn't the best time to tell him. We were both tired and on edge about my outburst, and I wanted to tell him when we were calm and could think straight.

…but I didn't want him to leave my side just yet.

I ended the hug and wiped away a few stray tears, smiling half-heartedly at him. "Matt, will you do me a favour."

Hesitant about my request I assured him it had nothing to do with life or death and he agreed.

I cuddled under his chin and held him close to me. "Could you please stay in my room tonight? I don't want to be alone."

He slowly place his own arms around me, holding me close to his chest. "Yes, your majesty."

Garrel would not say a word in the morning if Matt didn't wake up before him and leave. So it was no trouble that he slept in the same bed as me. I quite enjoyed it, to be honest, having his arm around me to keep me warm throughout the night. His breath was slow and clear, lulling me into slumber, and I could have sworn that I felt and heard him hum against me right before I nodded off. I wanted every night to be like this. Warm and shared… like I was being protected. Like no one could hurt me, not even my dreams.

And I was right. I had the most wonderful dreams for the first time in what seemed like forever.

All because of Matt.

(Matt P.O.V)

I'd dreamed of a night like this since first meeting the Prince. He was gorgeous even when in sleep, and I mentally begged him to ask me to join him every night to keep him company.

And he did.

Every night I slept beside him now. He didn't even have to ask anymore. I simply just joined him in the evening and woke up before anyone could catch us and left. The only one who knew about this was Garrel, but he said nothing about the matter. The only thing he told me was to keep making his Majesty happy.

So I did.

There were nights where I just slept, keeping an arm over him to keep him warm. But other nights I lay awake to watch him sleep, or I even dared to place a kiss on his forehead. He smiled in his sleep when I did that and more than once I wished to see what he was dreaming about.

Winter had only just started now, and in the coming months Mello would have to choose a bride. That was fine. He could have a bride…

…but none of them could love him more than me. Somehow… I think he knew that as well.