Life Partners

Chapter 10

"Bam, are you sure you're alright?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I just haven't been feeling well." He mumbled as he broke away from my embrace.

I was so glad to finally be back at in West Chester. I missed Bam so much and it felt so good to hold him in my arms once again, but something didn't feel right. I had an instinct that told me Bam was lying to me about being alright, because he tried his hardest to avoid eye contact with me. Hell, he didn't look healthy. His body was extremely pale and his skin was just hanging on his bones. My heart broke seeing him like that. His eyes were all sunken into his head with deep blue eyes showing nothing but sadness. Normally his eyes were so beautiful and bright they could light up an entire room and make me melt at the same time; now they were fading, becoming dull pupils.

"Dico, what's wrong with him?" I asked concerned.

"Hell if I know, he won't talk to anyone of us." He laughed trying to humor the situation.

"Do you know?" I asked Rake who just shook his head no.

"Babe, he has been consumed more alcohol in the last week than Raab has in practically three months. He stays locked in his room like he's punishing himself for something. He won't open up to anyone and he tries to act like everything is fine when we all here know he is practically killing himself. He's not very good at hiding his emotions. I can't recall the last time I watched him eat or the last time I heard him laugh." Novak explained with a cig hanging out of his mouth.

"Why?" I asked?

Novak just shrugged his shoulders, and motioned for me to sit down at the Pirate Bar.

"I have something to tell you." He said seriously.

I gulped because when Novak is trying to be serious I know it's got to be bad. My heart was racing along with my mind at all the possibilities.

"What?" I managed to choke out.

"About a week ago, I don't know the whole story, but about a week ago Bam fucked up at a skating demo and it pissed him off beyond belief."

"Really, he just usually shrugs it off." I said.

"Well, I think he was having a bad to day to begin with and when that happened it just went to hell." Novak continued as he took a swig of his beer.

"So he is punishing himself for fucking up at a skating demo?" I asked as I raised my brow, because this didn't sound like Bam.

"No sweetheart. After he came home from skating, he went to the bar and got so drunk that he passed out there."

"Oh shit! That must have been the night he called and asked where I was and when I told him I was still in LA he just hung up." I gasped.

"Yeah, so he called me to come and pick him up at a filthy dump."

"What the hell was he doing there?"

"Apparently while he was at the bar, a couple of fags drugged his drink and took him back to his place and robbed him."

My heart fell into my stomach. I couldn't believe anyone would do this to Bam, my Bam. He didn't deserve it.

"I picked him up by a street market in just his boxers. The only other thing he has told me is that they took everything he owned." Novak said putting his cigarette out.

"FUCK", I mumbled.

Knowing that when he called me, he really needed me and I wasn't able to help him made me feel guilty. I felt like I was partly to blame because I couldn't be there to help him when he has always been there for me.

"He has been acting so weird lately, Dunn. He broke up with Missy."

I was a little relieved because I never really liked her, but I tolerated her because Bam seemed to really love her.

"Why?"

"Over some stupid fight."

"Fuck!"

Taking in a deep breath I lightly knocked on Bam's door.

"Yeah", he mumbled.

"It's me, can I come in."

"Sure Random. You know you don't have to knock", he replied.

I smiled as I walked in his room and took a seat on his bed right next to him. My heart just fell into a million pieces as I looked at his unhealthy figure. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him tightly, but I would be scared that he would break.

"Bam, I missed you so much." I said lightly hugging him.

"Dunn, I missed you too." He said returning my hug softly.

"What's wrong?" I whispered trying to look into his eyes.

"Nothing", he mumbled.

"Bam, I am here. You can tell me anything."

"Don't worry, like I said I just haven't been feeling well lately."

The way his voice shook and the way he avoided eye contact with me; I could tell he was lying. I could see the pain in his eyes that filled his entire soul.

"Bam, I can see your hurting", I whispered placing my hand on his.

"Fuck Dunn. I am not hurting. Nothing is fucking wrong with me. Why does everyone keep asking that for? Goddamn, I am just fucking sick Dunn." He shouted pulling his hand away from mine.

"Look man, I am just trying to help."

"Well, do yourself a favor and don't!"

"Bam, I can help you. I am not going to leave you."

"I don't need help." He growled.

"Well, you at least need to eat something." I said sharply.

"I'll eat later. I am not in the mood to eat."

"You look like you haven't eaten in days", I said removing the tangled strands of hair that hid his pain-filled eyes.

"Dunn, how would you know if I have eaten or not? You haven't been here for the last past month. And just so you know I am perfectly fine", he yelled.

Grabbing him tightly, I held his fragile body in my hands. With a quick shove of his arms, he forcefully broke free of my grasp.

"What are you some kind of fag Dunn?" He snapped.

"But Bam, don't you know that I…" I started.

"Dude, just get the fuck off of me", he yelled.

I grabbed his body again only wanting to hold it in my arms tightly and never letting him go.

"Fuck Ryan, get the hell off of me, you fucking fag", he shot.

"Bam, what the hell is wrong with you? You know I love you."

"No, you don't, and I don't love you. I don't love you Ryan", He hissed running his hands thru his knotted mass of hair which hung from his head.

With that being said, I got up and walked out the door with my shattered heart. I loved Bam, and I would do anything for him, but to know that he didn't love me back was the worst thing of all. I think I would rather be dead than to know I couldn't have Bam.

Grabbing my suitcase, I started out of Castle Bam.

"Where you going sweetheart", Novak shouted from kitchen.

"Fuck his sorry ass. I can't do anything for the dip-shit", I grumbled.

"Novak, tell Bam to look me up whenever he can talk to me like a normal person again." I said as I slammed the door to Castle Bam behind me.