tall pumpkin spice latte
one shot espresso
milk to 145
pumpkin spice drizzle over foam (approx 2 pumps)
sprinkle cinnamon (optional)
I still have Alice's car
And his hands are crawling over the gear shift
Into my lap
As I drive
/
His athletic bag is in the trunk
It weights like five thousand pounds
I tried to lift it
And failed
/
I pull up to the parking lot
Beneath our apartments
/
It's frenzied
/
He pushes my back up against the door to the car
My dress rides
Up
Up
Up
Until I feel it hook just above my knees
/
My hands slide beneath his shirt
Feel his muscles
He shivers
And I remember that we haven't quite
Made it in the door
/
Shaky hands
Drop the door keys
With a clatter
Edward retrieves them
His hands sliding up my leg
With the fluidity that comes with
Years and years
Of sensual choreography
/
He lifts me
And we're through the door
And I'm struggling
Trying to direct him
To my bedroom
But somehow
Somehow
We've made it
/
And his fingers are down there
And his tongue is down there
And I want
Everything
Everything
Everything
Down there
/
My world comes crashing down
In fits and raves and pants and moans and cries
Into the pillow
As he sighs
Beautiful, yet melancholy
Brushing his pale finger
Along my cheek
In a broad, aching
Sweep
/
I gather myself
(Because, no, I don't fall asleep right after I orgasm
I'm not a pussy)
And roll to face him
My hands unhooking the buttons
Of his shirt
/
And, how are dancers so beautiful?
How are their bodies sculpted masterpieces
Without a single flaw?
/
And then my fingers are down there
And my tongue is down there
And I know he wants
Everything
Everything
Everything
Down there
/
"Bella," he murmurs
/
And feeling this naked skin
On naked skin
Is something so pure
And raw
That it makes me realize
Just how lonely I was
Just how lonely I had become
/
And now these actions
Ugly and primal
Have filled something inside of me
Some void I didn't realize was vacant
Just waiting for him to show up in my life
/
Someone I can share my words
Or maybe, even, my soul
/
His arm wraps around my waist
Deep green eyes brightened by moonlight
And I finally drift off
Into the coming dawn
/
We are awoken seemingly moments later
By a furious pounding on my bedroom door
/
"Bella, get your ass out of there! You're going to be late"
It's Alice
I groan and throw the pillow over my head
"We have class today, you know"
Why is she still screaming?
/
My eyes peek open
To see Edward
Still sleeping next to me
Tentatively, I touch his forearm
Just to prove to myself
That it wasn't a dream
/
He doesn't even stir
Doesn't even move a muscle
Sleeps right through it
/
I'm about to drift off again
When I hear the distinct sound
Of a lock being picked
By a bobby pin
/
"Shit," I curse
But before I can do anything more
The door flies open
Alice's mouth is wide
As if she were about to scream
(She probably was)
But her jaw became unhinged first
/
Her eyes dart back and forth between me and Edward
Who sleeps blissfully through the entire thing
Before she backs out slowly
Shutting the door with a quiet click
/
I fall back asleep again
Tucked into Edward's side
Warmth emanating from his skin
Like my own personal sun
/
I'm woken again later
By repeated curses
And Edward hopping around on one leg
Trying to pull his pants around the other
He pauses when he's noticed that I've awoken
Then goes right back to it
/
"I'm late," he says
"So, so, so late"
/
"For what?" I ask, still groggy
/
"Rehearsal," he groans, throwing clothes around as he searches for his shirt
He finds it and pulls it over his head
His hair is a mess
And my lipstick has stained his cheeks
Lips
Neck
And forehead
/
Oops
/
"Come here," I request
And though he is reluctant
Torn between rushing out the door
And returning to the bed
He slowly walks over
His head ducked down
Like a dog ready to be punished
/
When he gets close enough
I lick my fingers and gently smear the lipstick away from his cheeks
/
"Thanks," he says
Resting his forehead against my own
Like I've seen in movies
But never experienced in real life
/
The kind of mirrored silhouettes
That appear when two puzzle pieces
Are ready to be connected
/
"Last night was really good. Really. I'm glad you came," he says, then blushes
"Came to the show?" I ask with a smirk
He nods
Still beet red
/
Up this close
I can see the pores of his skin
Larger around his nose
The two soft wrinkles
Lodged in outer corner of his eyes
And the one
Light freckle
Just in front of his left ear
/
He leans forward slightly
Then hesitates
His lips brushing against mine only barely
A ghost of the passion from last night
Just the final
Remnants
/
"I'll see you soon, okay?"
And I realize that this might be the step
Where I give him my phone number
Before I remember
That he doesn't own a phone
"I'll find you," he says
As if reading my thoughts
And before I can nod
Before I can even blink
He's out the door
/
From my bedroom window
I watch him jog down the stairs
And out into the street
His athletic bag bouncing on his shoulder
As he goes
/
Alone in my room again
I worry
As the loneliness creeps back
Like a leech that hungers for my blood
For my body
And I worry that without Edward
Without his presence
I will be reduced to nothing
But a shell of whoever I once was
/
A scared little girl
Who knows nothing but cold reality
And the emptiness in her heart
BIG THANKS TOOOOOOOO (according to reviewers):
ADF (jandco)
The Gazebo (even though you girls scare me… in a good way)
Edwardville
Kassiah
Detochkina
Amcas
if I could, I would give you all a de-clawed cat named poe.
you guys rock my world like an 80s John Hughes movie.