Not too happy with this one, but I suppose its something, isn't it? After all, Tigress is not exactly a "rocker with a nose ring"; still, pretty bad-ass.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
Taigress Mix
Track nine: Girl All the Bad Guys Want
"Alright, so what have we got?"
"What do you mean?"
"Shifu roused us from a very hot morning romp for a very important reason, otherwise, there is no way in hell I'd let him get away with this."
"I didn't think you were enjoying it that much…"
"Just because I was silent on the outside didn't mean I wasn't screaming on the inside."
"Tigress, you are my pervy little minx," Tai Lung said with a smirk, pinching her tail and grinning when she gasped. She slapped his hand away, "Stop it! We need to be serious; who knows what's threatening the valley?"
"Whatever or whoever it is, they're going to have their hands full. Who's stupid enough to fight us?"
"You never know." She stopped just short of the doors to the training facility. She trained her ears and heard a commotion through the doors. "Get ready," she whispered to him. He immediately dropped into a battle stance, ready to kick in the doors. On the count of three, both felines burst through the door…
"Nice of you to join us," Shifu smirked.
Tigress and Tai Lung gaped, their faces paling as overwhelming dread set in. They had been set up; they were ambushed!
…by the beginner's kung fu class.
"Shit," Tigress quietly cursed.
"Oh, I hate him," Tai Lung muttered, his eye twitching. "Tigress? Promise me to be extra loud tonight, just to keep him up…"
She smacked his shoulder to get him to shut up. "Not in front of the kids!"
"They don't know what I'm talking about!"
A bunny boy gently tugged on Tai Lung's pant leg, "Um, Mister Tai Lung, sir…are you gonna teach us kung fu today?" This, of course, let loose a torrent of questions from the bunnies and piglets and goslings.
"Master Po said you knew lotsa cool stuff!"
"Yeah, and that Master Tigress can punch through walls, too! Can you teach me to do that?"
"I wanna learn how to do the Wuxi finger hold—"
Tai Lung cut off the last one, "No, kid, no, trust me, you don't…" the snow leopard glared at the red panda, who was standing on the steps with his hands clasped behind his back, and thoroughly enjoying his discomfort. "If this is karmic retribution…"
"You may call it that, if you wish," Shifu started. "More accurately, this is to prove that you've mastered restraint. If you can be gentle with these, uh…delightful children, then I think you may very well have won over not just the Jade Palace, but the entire valley as well."
"Brilliant, how long did it take you to write that little speech?"
Tigress jabbed him in the ribs, "He's giving you a chance, honey."
"Listen, kitten," he started saying with a forced smile and even tone as he rubbed the sore spot in his side, "All I'm saying is that this is a bad idea…"
She squeezed his hand, bringing him down a few pegs so that the ruckus of the twenty children practicing kung fu dimmed, and it was just the two of them. "Tai Lung," she said firmly. "We agreed when we got married that we would weather any storm…"
He nodded and sighed in resignation, knowing he wasn't going to win this argument, "Tigress, I remember our vows—we took them only a month ago."
"Well," she bit her lip. "It may be a little soon, but what if, you know, what if we wanted kids someday?"
Both Tai Lung and Shifu managed to choke on air—quite an impressive feat for the both of them. "K-kids?"
"Yes," she said cheerily. "This would be great practice, wouldn't it?"
Suddenly Shifu looked like he was regretting this deceit. He and the snow leopard shared a look, Shifu's saying "if you bail now, I won't hold it against you", and Tai Lung's saying "if I do, I'll be in for it later".
And he would. So, resigned to his fate of having to babysit Po's class while the Panda and the rest of the Furious Five were on campaign, the newly-wedded couple walked to the front of the class and tried to gather the hyper children in a circle.
"Okay, children…" Tigress tried. "Children," a little more firmly.
"Little tails on the floor, one, two, three, NOW!" Tai Lung snapped like a drill sergeant. Tigress blinked when the children were all suddenly sitting in a semicircle around them. Tai Lung blinked in surprise, "I didn't think that would work…nice."
Tigress rolled her eyes; she knew who would be the disciplinarian. "Okay, kids, as you know, I'm Master Tigress, and this is Master Tai Lung, and we're standing in for Master Po today…"
"What're you gonna tea—" an overly excitable bunny interjected.
"Hand!" Tai Lung barked, silencing the poor bunny. The snow leopard sighed; deep breaths, remember, patience… "…You raise your hand when you have a question. Let Master Tigress finish her statement; she may just answer you." The kids all stared at him. "Did the panda not teach basic discipline?" More blank stares. "Oh for the love of…"
"What were you working on before Master Po left?" Tigress interjected quickly.
A little girl piglet raised her hand. Tai Lung nodded at her. "Um," she said, "We were learning about Master Wei Shan…"
"Wei Shan?" the snow leopard balked. "How old are you?"
"Uh, nine…"
"You're nine years old and he has you learning Wei Shan? Is he out of his…" he shook his head, "Fine, let's forget Wei Shan for today. Anyone here know who Zhan Shi is?" Blank stares. "…Anyone at all…"
A goose finally raised his wing.
"You, with the spot on his beak."
"Master Zhan Shi was a fifth dynasty warrior who was, um…very small, and he uh, perfected a style that can help small people take down bigger people."
Tai Lung was impressed. There were very few villagers who knew about that. This kid—geeky though he looked—knew his stuff. "…Very good. Yes, Zhan Shi was a rabbit, actually, known for his special technique…yes?" he asked the same gosling.
"The Lucky Rabbit's Foot Technique, sir," he answered bashfully.
Tai Lung blinked in surprise again, then beckoned the gosling forward, "Alright, front and center, I'm going to have you perform that move on me."
Tigress balked, "Um, honey? I don't think that's a good…"
"He's fine," he assured her as an aside. "That boy knows more about kung fu than I'm sure the panda knows. Besides, he's what, eight? I was twice his age before I mastered that move. Trust me, no one that young can master that technique in one day…"
Unfortunately, the snow leopard was proven wrong…very wrong…three times. The gosling apologized again and again after the third successful attempt at taking the snow leopard down, the snow cat waving him off and telling him—as gently as possible—to go sit down. Tigress helped her husband to stand, then struck her palm into the small of his back to help set his vertebrae right. Tai Lung cracked his back, making the little girls squirm, but the little boys grin and think of him as their new hero. Boys.
"You alright?" she asked.
He cracked his neck, "Probably, I'll let you know when this is over…"
"Mister Tai Lung?" a little boy leveret asked. The snow leopard managed to keep from rolling his eyes wearily. "Yes?"
"Could you show us some kung fu moves?"
"Yeah!" another agreed.
"Yeah! Please, please, please?!" the others chorused.
Tigress put her hand on her husband's shoulder, whispering, "I'll go easy on you."
"I'm not that injured," he grumbled, nursing his wounded pride.
"Its not that; I don't want to scare the kids with too much violence."
"The boys don't mind…"
"Their parents will."
"Like the parents are going to say anything to me…they're still afraid of me."
Tigress shook her head, "You don't want to mess with angry parents. Remember, you can't use violence to solve problems anymore, and even Po needs to count to ten or more when dealing with some of them."
Tai Lung thought about it, then relented. "Alright. Which technique?"
"Praying Mantis and Open Palm?"
"Praying Mantis, yes, Open Palm, no. Dragon Fist."
"Swallow's Tail."
"Eagle Wing."
"Done." Turning her attention back to the children, she clapped her hands once, "Alright! Master Tai Lung and I are going to use a demonstration. I will be using Praying Mantis Style, and he will use Eagle Wing style."
The children oohed and ahhed, scooting closer to get a better look. Tai Lung fought the urge to roll his eyes and got into position opposite his wife, sizing her up…and fighting to keep from thinking sexy thoughts. He was a newlywed, he couldn't help it, but he knew this was neither the time, nor the place.
"I won't go easy on you," she warned for their audience's benefit.
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She attacked. He hadn't expected it so soon, barely raising his arm to block her strike. He responded with a sweeping arm motion to deflect her next strike, earning a resounding cheer from the students. He allowed himself a smile; it actually felt good to hear that. Tigress saw him smile, and smiled back; at least he was enjoying this. Unfortunately, she was about to use the same tactics Mantis had used on Po on the panda's first day of training. Tai Lung didn't see it coming, but he reacted quickly, catching himself just in time to return her advances.
Tigress was initially surprised to find how much of a workout she was getting just by sparring with Tai Lung. He kept her on her toes, more so than the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion. She expected their movements; he was unpredictable.
And okay, there was something slightly and yet inherently sexy about that.
…Did she just think that? You're conducting a class with young children, and you can't stop thinking about that for five minutes? You've been spending too much time with him…
She blocked a punch, dodging and back-flipping as he advanced. She swung her leg out into a kick that he caught. He yanked on her ankle, and she fell forward into his arms.
The children gasped, surprised to find their hero at the mercy of the one their parents had told them to fear. But Tigress didn't look afraid. Uncomfortable, yes, afraid, no.
Crap, now she was trapped! She hadn't expected that he would use the Fish-Catching Wing Swoop technique, and that now put her at the disadvantage. In a real battle, those claws could easily rend through her skin. In this case, it would just make this sparring match very uncomfortable…for the both of them. Okay Tigress, you can do this. Think of a way out…aha! Surprise him!
He was way ahead of her. Now, he sought to immobilize her by a tiny nerve strike that would, he smirked evilly, render her powerless to his advances…and once they were alone, well…you could see where this was going. As Tigress turned her head, their lips locked, surprising them both. However, the need to deepen that kiss was very tempting…
"EWW! They're kissing!"
The cats jumped away from each other, both of them spitting, "What was that?!" Tai Lung demanded.
"That was my deceptive liplock technique that you are not allowed to use until you're older," she said pointedly at the children.
"Who'd want to?" a little boy hissed. "Girls are gross."
"Nuh-uh!" a girl argued, "Boys are grosser!"
"Nuh-uh."
"Yuh-huh!"
Tai Lung glared at the offending children until they fell silent. "Right then, I think that'll do for the day…"
"Mister Tai Lung, we still have an hour left."
The felines shared a look. Both were very surprised that each really wanted that hour to end, uh, now. The look in his eyes made her tremble and the look in her eyes made him want to say "The hell with it" and cart her away to a private place for that last hour.
Unfortunately, the children were rather insistent. Resigned as criminals facing execution, the two felines just shook their heads and resumed the course.
"Can we learn more about Zhan Shi?" a piglet asked.
"No," Tigress said after a pleading look to her husband. "Let's get back to Wei Shan…"
Much later, the felines trudged away from the class, finding teaching to be a workout in and itself. Had Tai Lung known how draining kids could be, he would've thought twice about asking Tigress how soon they could have a family. Tigress, though she liked kids, was discovering that she did have limits. That class...how Po could stand teaching twenty rowdy children like that was beyond her comprehension.
Obviously, the newlyweds had made the mutually executive decision to wait to have children. They also made the executive decision to hide from Shifu, lest he find some other reason to keep them from enjoying the honeymoon period before it ran its course. And much to their delight—especially Tigress'—they were finding that period to be particularly enjoyable…
Tigress lay face down on their marital bed, locked away in their room, the striped feline squirming on top of the sheets. "Mmm…oh Tai…"
"Yes, love?"
"Oh, you're so good at this…" she purred.
"Thank you, kitten. How does this feel?"
"Ooh, really, really good…just a little more…mm, a little harder…oh, that's it. Oh yes, that's it…"
Tai Lung chuckled, pressing himself against his wife's back and whispering in her ear, "I love making you feel good…especially when you make all those noises…"
"Oh, baby, keep doing what you're doing and you got a deal."
"Harder? Or slower?"
"Mm, deeper. Just a little deeper…"
He grinned, pressing her down, "As you wish."
Tigress closed her eyes in bliss as she felt his weight above her. It was tempting to stifle her moans into the pillow, but what fun would that be? She squirmed a little bit beneath him as his hands latched on to her shoulders, pushing and pulling, deepening these euphoric feelings buzzing in her head. She sighed deeply, purring contentedly. "Ooh, so good…"
"That's it, love, let me hear you, tell me what you want…" he whispered in her ear. The fur on her neck stood on end when she felt his hot breath next to her ear.
"A—ahh...ah, yes—a little lower, a little, ooh right there…"
"How about a little lower, hmm?"
"Ohh, do whatever you want, it all feels so good…" she purred.
Tai Lung grinned, slowly moving down, down, down to where she wanted it, his hand on the small of her back, holding her in place. He loved doing this to her, and she, of course, was not one to complain. They both knew he was the only one who could give her exactly what she wanted, and, exactly what she needed.
After one particularly loud purr from her throat, Tai Lung took his hands away, moving up to kiss her cheek, "And how did that feel?"
Tigress turned her head and kissed him, "Honey, that felt really good."
"Did it relax you?"
"Oh yeah, you bet it did."
He smiled, hugging her from behind, "Good."
Tigress smiled, her body sagging beneath him, deep into the mattress. Closing her eyes and cuddling with him, she nuzzled his neck, "You're so good to me."
"I try," he winked.
She gave him a deep, soulful kiss, "That massage was exactly what I needed after that class."
"I bet. So, still want kids?"
The last syllable had barely passed his lips when she blurted out, "I can wait."
If you read that last part and were not thinking it was a massage, then you have a dirty, dirty mind. Either that, or I'm probably going to the special hell. But damn it, it'll be worth it.
Um, There's no such thing as Lucky Rabbit's Foot technique, obviously, and Eagle Wing style, as far as I know, doesn't exist. I needed to pull something that would sound good.
Anywho, please review!