ALICE'S POV
It was Jimmy who broke the deafening silence.
"Ya know? That story seems kinda familiar. I'm getting' a sense of…erm, what's the word?"
"Deja-vu?" offered Marianne
Jimmy snapped his long, bony fingers. "That's it! Life sucks, Karma's an ass, and half the world are backstabbers! Maan, what a moral! Nah, but that's not all. That pinstriped guy, did you ever see his face?"
Marianne thought for a moment, and then rested her chin on her hand "Nah, ya know what? I don't think I ever did. Weird really. I never thought of that. He always had a black fedora, pulled low over his face. I guess I never bothered asking questions. Naïve I suppose, but with my background that's only expected, I was deprived. Not emotionally, but I never quite had the oppurtun…."
"YAH yah yah." Mitch stood up from his position on a stool in the corner. He was the only one whom Marianne's story had not affected. He merely sat throughout the tale looking pensive, yet indifferent. "Sick of the sob story. Deprived, penniless, forced into the cruel, cruel world of crime and stealing. Blah, Blah. Spare me the self-pity PER-LEASE."
And with that, he turned back to the grubby desk, which he seemed to have monopolised, and began signing random papers, and tapping messages into his mobile phone (prison's a pushover these days).
Well. No-one was seemed really quite sure what to say next. Luckily my experience with a relentlessly bickering family made me feel quite comfortable in this situation.
"So," I said, forcing a smile "How did you get in here, Jimmy?"
He took a rasping breath, and began his story…
"Are you SURE we're doing this right, Emmett? Cant we just wait for Bella?" Jasper looked worried. The mixture wasn't quite the smooth silky cream Bella had promised. It was a suspicious grey colour, and had a scattering of strange lumps.
"Yeah sure," replied Emmett confidently. "A few lumps & bumps are what make's the cake special, eh Rose?"
Rosalie surveyed the mixture over the cover of the magazine she was reading.
"Looks fine to me," she said in a venomous tone, before returning to her magazine. Anything related to being human was never going to win Rosalie over, least of all a cake making session, something she did regularly whilst planning her wedding, before being brutally murdered by her husband & his friends.
However, Jasper didn't look totally convinced. Those lumps were DEFINITELY not there when Esme baked.
"When exactly is Bella arriving, Edward?"
Edward looked up. He had been sitting at the breakfast bar, pinching the bridge of his nose, worrying about Bella's lateness, and the potential food poisoning she may receive from Emmett's cake. He opening his mouth to reply, when the doorbell sounded. With speed that only a very desperate vampire could muster, he sped towards to door, swinging it open, and grabbing Bella's coat before pulling her into an embrace.
"Please. Help." He whispered into Bella's ear. "Its horrific."
Bella blanched, she may not have vampire smelling powers, but the dung-like smell that the 'cake' was emitting could've been smelt a mile away. She rushed into the kitchen, and saw Emmett surveying the mess in the bowl with a grim look on his face, Jasper standing a mile away holding his nose, and Rosalie calmly reading Vogue in an armchair.
"Oh god! Emmett, what have you put in this! It looks like it might grow legs & eat something!"
"Its not that bad!" cried Emmett, pushing the bowl towards Bella. "Just taste it!"
Edward jumped in front of him, and whisked the bowl away from Bella's reach. "Just a look will be fine."
Bella stared at the congealing mulch in front of her. "What on earth is in this!?"
"Well," Jasper began… "Me & Emmett took a trip to the local newsagents whilst Edward tried to figure out how the microwave worked. We did exactly as you said…. Eggs, Flour, Sugar, Butter, and a spoon, obviously. We haven't put that in yet though.
Bella looked confused. "I don't see what could have gone so awfully wrong then?"
"There were a few slight issues with the ingredients though," said Emmett "There were no fresh eggs, but Jasper was pretty sure those Scotch Eggs would be fine. We just scraped the breadcrumbs from round the edges. There was a bit of a problem with the sugar & butter too. No sugar, so we got one of the sherbet straws and tipped that in. Sugar/Sherbet, what's the difference eh? They did have SOME butter, but not enough for the measurements, so we bought some Weather's Originals for the rest. It said they were Butter Candies on the packet? But the stupid things were hard-boiled, so we melted them in the microwave, and then put them in too. But the whole melting thing didn't work too well. That's what the lumps are. We put it in the microwave for half an hour like you said, then stirred. I don't know what's up with the colour, but It should be safe to eat. Fancy trying it?"
"Erm, no thanks Emmett, I'll pass." Bella turned onto Jasper "Why didn't you try to shop him in the shop?!"
Jasper shifted from one foot to the other looking guilty "I was a teenage boy when I was changed, when would I have learnt to cook!?"
Bella looked slightly irritated now "Okay, I understand that I guess…Rosalie, you must have done HEAPS of cooking before your wedding, why on earth didn't YOU help? Surely you must know that you can't bake in a MICROWAVE? Or use scotch eggs!"
Rosalie sniffed, looking as if a small blob of cow poo had just attempted to kiss her "I was reading vouge. And why would they need my help? They're big boys, they can look after themselves AND their food, can't you darling?"
Emmett smiled at her, then looked indignantly at Bella. "I think my cake is simply AMAZING. You wouldn't know a good chef if Gordon Ramsay danced naked in front of you!" With Rosalie on his side, he was a lot more confident about the awful gloop he'd created.
Edward looked mortified, and shot Bella a 'see what I have to live with?' face. Bella smiled sympathetically at him, then said
"Tell you what…why don't I take your cake home Emmett, and erm, sort it out?"
Jasper sighed in relief. "Yes please Bella" and handed her the cake tin. Edward walked Bella to the door.
"How on earth are you going to sort out that mess! It looks as if it's been eaten once already, then regurgitated!"
"Don't worry" She whispered "Its going straight in the bin as soon as I'm home!"
Not one of my best, but I quite like it. Next chapter will be another life story, please read it, even if you didnt enjoy the last, It will have some significance, I promise! Im going to try and update more often, so hopefully the next chapter wil be up in the next week. READ & REVIEW PLEAAASE! Thats the only thing that makes me enjoy writing this. :)