"Oh, I am so mad at you, I could kill you!" hissed Harley, throwing open the door to their hideout after they dropped Crane off at his.

"But…but then I wouldn't learn any lessons, pooh, like you said," replied Joker, smiling nervously.

"What lessons have you learned?" she demanded, rounding on him with eyes blazing.

"Um…I've learned that you're a very scary person when you're angry and pregnant," he said, slowly. "I've learned…to try to avoid bringing you to that state by any means necessary…"

"By not lying to me, huh?!" she snapped.

"Well, I didn't strictly lie to you, pooh – they were more like half-truths…" began Joker.

That was the last coherent thing he said for about twenty minutes of Harley slamming him around the room with her hammer. She stopped hitting him at last, dropping her hammer suddenly and rushing to the bedroom, sobbing her heart out.

Joker slowly got to his feet, massaging his ribs and trying to ascertain the damage. "What a day," he growled. "I've been drugged, whipped, kicked, punched, hammered, and accused of lying! Women, I tell ya! Can't live with 'em, can't live…nah, I ain't gonna finish that sentence."

He heard Harley sobbing from the bedroom and sighed. "You think she'd feel good after beating the crap outta three people," he muttered. "I know I always do."

He headed into the bedroom where Harley lay sobbing into the pillows. "Baby, why are you crying?" he asked, sitting down next to her and stroking her hair.

"You don't know?" she whispered.

"Because…you're pregnant and overemotional?" he guessed.

She ignored him, sobbing louder, and he sighed. "Because…I lied," he muttered. "I lied to you. And I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have broken your trust in me."

Harley said nothing, but her sobbing turned into sniffles. "In a couple weeks, I'm…gonna have a baby," she whispered at last. "I'm gonna have a whole new life, to take care of, and protect…and I'm scared," she whispered, looking up at him. "I'm scared that I won't be any good at it. I can't even take care of and protect its father, after all."

"That's not true, pooh, you did a great job rescuing me today…" began Joker.

"I feel…alone and overwhelmed," she continued. "And I can't trust the father of my child. I can't even trust him to tell me the truth, or to be there for me, or to even confide in me. He just goes off and does something incredibly dangerous on his own. What if Sparrow had hurt you? How do you think I would have coped if you'd got wounded or killed working for her? How do you think I would have coped if she had…if I hadn't got there in time today?"

"Hey, I would have come through somehow," he murmured, taking her hand.

"Maybe you would've, Mr. J," she agreed. "Would we?" she whispered, gazing up at him.

"I dunno what you mean, kid…" he began.

"I mean, there's no more I, Mr. J," she whispered. "There's only us. We're gonna be parents. We gotta be a team. We gotta trust each other, and work together, and not take stupid risks. At least, not without having each other there for backup. We gotta be responsible, not only for each other's safety, but for the baby's. We gotta…grow up. We can't be kids having a kid. And I need you on my side for this, and for everything else from now on. And I can't trust that you will be. That's why I'm crying."

She lay back down, silent tears trailing down her cheeks. Joker said nothing, but continued to stroke her hair.

"You're a silly girl, Harley Quinn," he whispered at last.

She shut her eyes, but he turned her over to look at him. "You're a silly girl," he repeated. "Worrying about stupid things like that. Being scared that you ain't gonna be a good Mommy. That's a stupid thing to be afraid of."

"Ain't you scared of that, Mr. J?" she asked.

He kissed her firmly. "Nah," he murmured. "I ain't. I ain't scared of nothing, but I especially ain't scared of things that ain't possible. And you being a bad Mommy just ain't possible, kiddo."

She beamed at him. "You're stupid to worry about everything you just said," he continued. "Completely stupid, Harley. My silly little baby."

He kissed her again. "You really are a dumb blonde, aren't you?"

"Guess so, Mr. J," she agreed, smiling at him.

He lay down, curling up around her as she snuggled against him, and placing his hands protectively over her belly. Harley started. "Mmm…it's kicking again, Mr J," she whispered, grinning.

"It sure is," he agreed, stroking her stomach. "Kicking a lot…"

He frowned. "You feel that?"

"What?" she asked.

"It's like it's coming from two different parts of your belly," he said. "There's kicking on the top here…and then kicking on the bottom here."

"Yeah. Weird," agreed Harley. "Maybe it's a big baby, and it's using both its hands and its feet."

"Maybe," agreed Joker. "Or maybe it's…" He trailed off.

"What?" prompted Harley.

"Nothing, pooh," he said, kissing her forehead. "Silly idea. Now you get some rest – you wanna be nice and healthy for when the baby's born."

She nodded. "Night, puddin'," she whispered, shutting her eyes and resting her hands on her stomach.

"Night, Harley," he whispered, keeping his own hands over her belly. He felt it gently, running his fingers carefully along it like a child trying to figure out a wrapped present before Christmas Day.

"Silly idea," he repeated to himself firmly, shutting his eyes. "Thinking there might be two in there. Completely silly. Jesus, we got one coming, and that's gonna be more than enough," he said, yawning.

He was asleep shortly after, and so was Harley. And so were the two babies in her womb, settling down after a struggle for space. The two fraternal twins, who would be named Arleen and Joker Junior, although they didn't know that yet, curled up again at the soothing touch of their parents, and waited patiently to be born.

The End