(Is listening to Zelda soundtrack got for Christmas)

Cheresea: Is she ever going to stop listening to that?

Me: Hey! I'm...getting into mood, the 'character' if you will.

Link: What the heck does she mean 'character'?

Me: Well- Wait, LINK?! What the hell are you doing here?

Link: I- That's a good question...

Saria: As if she knew the answer.

Zelda: Uh...Isn't this a little mixed up?

Cheresea: O.O Where on earth-?!

Lloyd: Uh-oh, did I mess up the Eternal Sword again?

Genis: I have a question. If Kratos is Link and Anna is Saria and stuff, how come they're right

here but NOT Kratos, Anna and Mae?

(Silence)

Lloyd: My head hurts.

Saria: I need an asprin.

Zelda: So Link, does that means you and Saria are Lloyd's parents?

Link and Saria: WHAT?!

Lloyd: Mommy! Daddy!

Link, Saria, and Cheresea: AHHH!! WHY AM I RELATED TO THIS DUMBASS?!

Me: Uh...I own nothing...

Oh...My...goddess...

"What...are they...?" I whispered.

The town...it's infested with these...things, they look like people...

"Watch out!"

I heard an earsplitting scream, and was frozen in my tracks. One of those...THINGS, was coming

toward me, it was hideous, and the way it moved...it reminded me of...the exbulas...

Oh Mana, no. NO!

"WOAH!" Navi cried.

There was a bright flash of light, driving the thing away from me.

"Wh-what was that?" I asked.

"Look! There's something in your pocket!"

I reached in and took it out, it was a coin, no...a medallion, of gold, with the light crest on it...

"Rauru must have given it to you!"

"...Right, now let's get out of here!"

I spread my wings and flew like hell out of the castle town. Or...what was left of it.

"What were those...?" I whispered, pale.

"Well..." Navi said. "They weren't people, if that's what you're wondering. They were dark magic

manifesting inside of bones. So..."

"...Where's Kakiriko village? Over there, right?" I asked.

"Hm? Yeah! Let's go!"

I landed shortly, and then headed into town. A lot had changed since...then.

"Did you hear?" I heard someone gossiping. "They say there's a treasure in the graveyard!"

"Well, let's get going!" Navi chirped.

"Graveyard?" I went wide-eyed. "We're going to dig up GRAVES?!"

"Do you want to save Anna, or not?"

Damn her. At any rate, I had gotten all of two steps when...

"Wow! Hey cutie, want to go out?"

I was being...hit on? Is that what was happening? I mean, I had been through this numerous times with

females, but it was never that direct...

"Uh..."

The teenage girl grabbed my arm. "You are SO cute! Wanna come to MY house sweetie?"

I wrenched my arm away. "No thank you, I have business to take care of."

"But you're CUUUUUTTTEE!!!!"

CUTE?!

"Cute?!" I snapped. "If you have to call me anything do NOT call me cute!"

"Rowr rowr!" the girl smirked. "Tough guy!"

"I am going to 'tough guy' your hide to oblivion if you don't cease this waste of both our times."

"WOW!" she squealed. "He uses big words! That's always the mark of a hot guy!"

I decided to make a break for it, however...I learned something very bad.

Girls travel in packs.

"OH!"

"DAMN he's cute!"

"I saw him first!"

I also learned this: Running behind barrels helps lose crowds of groupies.

"Whew..." I wiped my forehead. "That was so close..."

"Wow, have you always gotten mobbed by fangirls?" Navi asked.

I suddenly had a flashback.

"LOOK! LOOK! IT'S KRATOS!"

"GET HIM!"


"Run, Kratos!" Yuan called. "RUN!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Lucky bastard, he gets all the chicks- Martel, what are you doing?"

Martel hid a cap and flag with my face on it behind her back.

"Nothing..."

"ARGH!" Mithos slapped himself.

I shook my head. "No. Never. Definitely not."

"You're lying, aren't you?"

I ignored here as I went to the graveyard, after finding an old diary, I found myself in a tomb...

"Heh heh heh!"

Is that an astral body?! Wait...it's a ghost..? Of a gravekeeper...

"I've been waiting for you." he grinned eerily. "See, I knew someone would come for the treasure I've

hidden in here, something you'd no doubt find useful!"

"And...for that you want?" I asked.

"Heh heh! If you want it, you have to catch me!"

Before I knew it, I found myself tearing through dark, damp, creature-infested dungeon corridors as I

chased the specter through the tomb, and the more I ran...

"COME BACK HERE DAMMIT!"

The more I lost my temper.

"Kratos! Calm down!" Navi said.

"Shut...up...!" I huffed, aggravated. "I...have to...catch him!!"

The ghost was in sight, but then the door started to close!

"Oh, HELL no!" I shouted.

I skidded under the door, barely making it into the room.

"Heh heh hee!" he laughed. "Not bad, not bad at all!"

I stood up, breathing heavily.

"Kratos?"

"WHAT?" I snapped at Navi.

"Wouldn't it have been faster if you just flew?"

There was a silence, followed by my hitting myself in the face.

"Well, here's your prize, as promised!"

The ghost dissappeared, leaving behind a chest. Inside which was a 'hookshot'. Apparently it can...

"This thing will let you get to places you can't reach!" Navi said.

"..." my eye started twitching. "Couldn't I just use my wings...?"

There was another silence.

"I guess so."

"ARGH!" I snapped. "I did that for NOTHING?!"

"Well, it was good exercise..."

"I HAVE FANGIRLS TO GIVE ME EXERCISE!!!"

"Oh yeah..." Navi turned blue.

I sighed, feeling incredibly stupid.

"Let's just get to the forest..."

--------------------

We arrived at Kokiri Village, but that's when I discovered something strange... They were all

children. Still. Every person was the same as they were seven years ago...

"What on...?" I paled.

"Kratos! Anna need help, remember?"

"Right." I shook the daze off, heading for the lost woods.

I had not gotten far before I found the little bastard, Mido.

"Hey! No one get's past here! I promised Anna I wouldn't let anyone in!"

"Look, just step out of the way and I won't hurt you." I sighed, putting my hand to my head.

"No way!"

I sighed, then took out the ocarina, playing Anna's song. Instead of hearing her voice...

"That song! You must know her, right?" Mido asked.

"That's what I was trying to tell you." I sighed.

"Well...okay."

Mido stepped aside, staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You look a lot like someone I used to know." he shrugged. "Anna always liked him..."

"..."

"Well?" he snapped. "Are you going to save her or not?!"

I nodded. "Thank you."

I ran into the woods, eager to find the temple. Navi flew alongside my head.

"You're wondering why they're still kids, aren't you?"

"..."

"Just hang in there, okay?"

Cheresea: Wait...So does that mean Grama's still little...?

Genis: Ew. That sounds wrong.

Cheresea: And you're one to talk? You marry Presea.

Genis: I DO?! AWESOME!

Lloyd: Hey cool! Look what I found on Freaky's desktop!

Genis: Hey! O.o It's a picture of a little Kratos in Link's outfit!

Cheresea: O.o Shielding himself from tomatoes! Where on earth did...?

Me: What're you guys doing?

Lloyd: Where'd you get this picture?

Me: Oh, that one? Fanart central. It twas funny, and so creepily similar to my story.

Cheresea: That is weird...

Me: I know! Isn't it great?

All the others: ...

Cheresea: HEY! Genis! That's an Aurion line!

Lloyd: Yeah! You can't use it!

Genis: What-? But- OUCH! HEY! THAT HU-! OUCH! OW!

(I whistle while typing next chapter as the Aurions kill Genis.)