Vinyl
Chapter 10
Since our move to Seattle, I have been biding my time by homeschooling Jasper. Reading and cooking—basically, I'm doing whatever I can to keep my mind off Edward. At night, I watch Jasper play video games and even though I know nothing about gaming, I like watching him being a kid and having fun, making the best of our situation.
Like now, I'm curled up on the sofa with a book in hand, alternating between attempting to read and sneaking peeks at the game Jasper is playing when the excitement in his voice intensifies, causing me to put my book down. He looks at me sheepishly, and finally after some provoking from me, he blurts out that he's been playing with Emmett—CamoKaze02. My heart drops, and I immediately feel sick to my stomach. Sensing my concern and the reason behind it, Jasper tells me he's been using his voice altering headset so Emmett doesn't figure out it's him. It still worries me, but I can't blame my son because he misses his best friend—and he's a genius.
After my heart slows to its normal pace, I settle back into my book, trying to lose the thoughts of Edward that have taken over my brain when Jasper breaks me from my memories.
"Mom?" Jasper's voice is raised.
"What baby?" I ask.
"Want to hear something?"
"Okay."
"I think you'll like it," he says with a smile.
Jasper holds out his headset for me to take. I place the book I'm holding in my lap, and I affix the headset over my ears. At first all I hear are explosions and people yelling commands, but then the beautiful voice which occupies my dreams permeates my ears, and I gasp. My heartstrings are tugged to the point of breaking.
I whisper, "Edward," careful not to speak loud enough for anyone on the line to hear me.
Tears cloud my eyes, and I tuck my bottom lip under my teeth, holding back the excruciating stabbing pain in my lungs from sobs that want out. I need him to know, so badly, that I am here, but I can't, so I listen to him laugh and joke with the other players until he's finished and Emmett returns to the game.
"I'll be right back honey," I tell Jasper as I remove the headset and hand it back to him. I need a few minutes to myself to regroup and wipe the tears that have accumulated in the corners of my eyes. I miss my lover-my best friend.
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I make it to my room before breaking down. Being so close, yet having to stay so far away from Edward is slowly killing me, and hearing his voice tonight just offers my heart more hurt.
We are close because I had demanded it. I had cried, bitched, and cried some more, even threatening to leave WitSec if Mike didn't find someplace for me and Jasper to live in Seattle. Being separated from Edward is horrible. I didn't think I could hurt as much as I did as when Demetri had died, but I had been wrong—dead wrong. My heart had shattered behind achy ribs that had cried for days when Mike took us from the motel in Forks to the next safe haven that we would call home. A repeat of losing another lover had been too much, especially in the few days following our departure. But knowing eventually Edward would return to Seattle, back to his job at the gym, had kept me sane. I had needed it then, and I need it now. It's silly really, but it makes me feel better, even though Edward would not ever know how close I am. It's just a comfort I rely on each day, being in the same town with the man I love.
After wallowing in my memories for a while, I start to question what I have been told up until now.
Sometimes, I think Mike likes the fact we are cooped up here and hidden away, just so he can have me to himself. Back in California when we had lived together, he had thought maybe he had some sort of romantic chance with me. He had been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on after Demetri's death, but that had been the only way I had needed him, well, the protection from Aro, too. But he had completely mistaken my fear and grief. I had not been, nor would I ever be attracted to him. We would never have a love connection, and I had told him so on many occasions. He had been shocked when he found out I had started dating Edward, and I could see a tinge of jealousy in his eyes, but I had shrugged it off. I was starting to realize how much of a mistake that had been.
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"I need to speak with you."
"Okay, what's up?"
"In person." I pace the floor of my bedroom, speaking quietly into the phone. I don't want Jasper to hear how upset I am.
"Did you change your mind?"
I know what he means, and it only fuels my anger that much more.
"There is no us, Mike!" I whisper-shout and wipe another set of tears that roll down my cheeks. "Either you come over now or I'm going to Edward, regardless of what you have to say."
"I can be there in fifteen minutes." His voice is somber, but I know he will hurry and be here in ten.
I end the call and pace the floor some more. My emotions are boiling over. Tears and bouts of anger flame inside my usually passive interior. Tonight, hearing Edward's voice had sent me over the edge and I would demand answers this time.
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The knock at my bedroom door startles me, but I know it's Mike with the way he taps once with his knuckles and then twice in quick succession.
"Come in." My voice is full of disdain.
The door opens and Mike has the decency to enter with his proverbial tail between his legs. His eyes scan the room but never look directly into mine. I think he knows I want answers because up until now I have gone with the flow, believing everything he and the agency have told me.
Mike takes a seat in the chair by my dresser, and I sit on the edge of my bed, facing him.
"I need to know who was in the car that tried running me off the road." The harsh tone of my words and the blank stare on my face match the way I'm feeling at the moment without Edward-empty and in need of a refill.
Mike doesn't answer right away, instead, he takes his time until finally his eyes lift to mine, ready to answer my question. He answers with careful consideration—this is how he treats me—gingerly, and it pisses me off.
"You know we don't have a definitive answer at the moment." His fingers clasp together and his elbows rest on his knees.
"Bullshit." I don't back down. I know Mike better than he thinks. When he lies, his nose wiggles and his eyes twitch twice; it's a dead giveaway. "Was it Aro?"
He clears his throat, trying to bide a few more seconds. "Possibly."
"Everyone knows it could possibly be Aro. That's why I'm asking. Don't give me the run around anymore, Mike. I'm so over hiding and looking over my shoulder. So I ask you once more. Who was in the car?"
"You know I can't give out any information yet."
"You're lying. I can tell."
He shakes his head. "It's for your safety—and Jasper's."
Tears form in my eyes, welling in the corners until they spill over once again. "I'm done. I don't even care anymore. I'm going to Edward. I have to see him." I scoot forward to stand.
"You can't, not now." Mike motions with his hands like he's trying to slow me down.
"You mean not ever!" I yell. This time my voice resonates in the room and quite possibly down the hall to where Jasper is playing video games.
"Bella." Mike starts to stand.
"Don't." I put up my hand up stopping him from coming toward me.
"Okay, listen." He sits back down. "I never told you this before because I didn't want to scare you." He eyes me carefully waiting for a reaction from me, but I'm a blank page. "Aro was mixed up with the Volturi's."
"The Mafia?"
Mike nods. "We have reason to believe Aro owed Cauis, the boss, a large sum of money. We don't think Demetri knew anything of their dealings because otherwise Aro wouldn't have killed him. He needed Demetri's money to help pay his loan."
My breath hitches. "It was Aro who killed Demetri."
Mike realizes he has never outright said those words to me and again he stands and moves toward me. I don't stop him this time because I'm numb. I've waited years to hear the actual words spoken to me to satisfy my need to know the truth. My posture sinks and I feel like I'm crumbling because it's a relief finally knowing. Mike is there with an arm around me to once again comfort me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tell you like that."
"No. I needed to know." I sniffle but a cry never comes.
Mike's arms are around me but I don't need him. I need Edward; he's the only one who can completely heal my wounds.
"We wanted to make sure Caius wasn't after you too, so we kept you in WitSec, even though we know Aro was the one driving the Mercedes that crashed and burned."
My palm covers my mouth and my eyes open wide. The answers I've sought out for so long are finally being given to me. Mike's arm is still around my shoulder and he pulls me in tighter.
"We had to make sure Ciaus wasn't a threat to you or Jasper. You have to understand that, okay?"
I pull away and look him in his eyes. Tonight, when I called Mike over, a small part of me thought that maybe he was keeping us here because of his desire to have us all to himself, but his eyes don't lie. I can tell he's telling me the truth.
"Is he?"
Mike shakes his head. "No, not that we can tell."
"Then why are we still here? How long were you planning on keeping us hidden?" Irritation is evident in my voice.
"We are winding down the investigation, Bella. You have to believe me." He's sincere, and I put my hand over his other hand resting on his thigh. "Give me two more weeks, and you can go wherever you'd like."
"Two? Why not now?"
"I'm not letting anything happen to either one of you, so until I'm one hundred and fifty percent sure Ciaus isn't a threat, I need you to stay here."
A genuine smile stretches across my face, and it feels good. "Deal." I wrap my arms around Mike and whisper, "Thank you."
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"Alec, it's me."
"Hey, me."
"I drove by the gym." Excitement is evident in my voice.
"Bella. What if he would have seen you?" Alec sounds worried.
"It was late. No one was there, but I just needed to feel close to him and to see my new investment."
You mean my investment?" He teases.
I giggle. "Yeah, whatever."
"What about Mr. Protective?"
"Mike?"
"Yeah, you didn't tell him about the gym did you? Or that you did a drive-by?"
"No way. But guess what?"
"The suspense is killing me." Alec teases.
"Fine then, I won't tell you the great news about my impending freedom."
"Your what? What are you talking about?"
"Yep. Jasper and I will be free in two weeks."
"I … I don't know what to say. This is good. No, it's great!"
"I know, but what if … you know. What if Edward has moved on?"
"Bella, that boy was so in love with you that I'm sure he hasn't dug himself out of the hole he fell into when you left."
My eyes close remembering that night in the motel and I shake my head to rid myself of the memory once and for all. "I hope so."
"The only thing you should be worried about is if he doesn't think dating his boss is appropriate." I hold the phone away from my ear while Alec's obnoxious laugh rattles my ears.
"Very funny. Now you've given me something else to worry about until then."
"I'm kidding. You'll be the best Christmas present he's ever received."
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Mike called this morning letting me in on the good news. His timing was a bit off, taking nearly four weeks to make sure Jasper and I are completely safe to leave the protection of WitSec, which is almost unheard of, but true to his word—WE ARE FREE!
The feeling of true freedom is one I'm not sure most would understand but I do. I don't have to look over my shoulder or be weary of everyone I meet, but most importantly, the man I miss so much is going to get a visit as soon as I can stop running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Now, I'm rushing around the apartment trying to find the perfect outfit, dry my hair and simultaneously apply a little bit of lipstick to my lips. It's been forever since I've cared what the hell I look like, but today I care. I care so damn much that I haven't sat still for two seconds, and I haven't even had my coffee yet.
Before I leave, I make Jasper lunch because I'm unsure when I'll be home. I had decided as soon as I hung up the phone with Mike to surprise Edward at the gym—a little early Christmas present if you will. I also want to go alone just in case something goes badly and Edward isn't as excited to see the ghost of Forks past.
I take a seat across from Jasper at the kitchen table while he eats. My stomach is in knots, so I don't even want to attempt food, so I talk about what his plans are today while I'm gone seeing Edward.
"I'll play video games." He swirls his fork in the pile of spaghetti I reheated for him and takes a huge bite.
"Good plan."
He says, with a mouth full while he's still chewing, "Maybe Em will be on too."
"It's Christmas Eve day, so he might be busy with family." As I speak those words, the thought occurs to me that Edward might not be at the gym after all—he might be with his family.
"That's okay. When we move back to Forks I can see him again."
I excuse myself to grab a water bottle from the fridge. My nerves are twisting into balls making my stomach worse, and I need to wash down whatever it is that's threatening to come up. Forks? Move back home? It had been home, and even if it had been about a year, it is still home to Jasper.
I take a huge swallow of water and take a few calming breaths. Who knew it would be this nerve wracking to meet up again with Edward. Maybe I should call him first.
"Mom, just go before you chicken out." Jasper eyes me, smiling. He must be a mind reader.
"Oh, shush. I'm nervous."
"Yeah, so get going so you can stop being crazy."
"I'm not crazy." I mock argue.
"Crazy in love." He draws out the word love and crosses his eyes at the same time.
I need the laugh that spills out of my throat and lights the room in happy vibes. I kiss Jasper on the head. "Thanks, ole wise one."
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The drive is slow and calm even though the wild last minute Christmas shoppers are whizzing around me, honking at God knows what and driving like lunatics. Not even the crazies can erase the smile on face. It hasn't faltered even once since I fastened my seat belt and left the apartment complex.
The drive is one I have memorized since I have driven it more than I let on to Alec or anyone else, even Jasper. The drive has been almost a nightly thing, and I'm fortunate I haven't gotten caught. But why would I have at midnight. I always tell myself Edward is soundly tucked into his bed, dreaming of me. But that's just something I conjure up to make myself feel better about our situation. Now though, the day is here, no more wonder, no fantasy, no fairytales in my head. This time I will see him.
The gym parking lot is nearly empty, save for the few cars I see behind the building when I turn the corner to enter the lot. I recognize one of the cars—Edwards. It looks perfect, no sign of the damage done on that fateful night. He must have fixed the damage incurred by the chase in Forks. Just thinking about the day I left town sends a whole new flock of butterflies into orbit, and the calm that I had on the way over here has dissipated.
"Breath, Bella." I coax myself as I pull into a parking space. My car faces the street and my head spins as I watch the cars whiz by. "It's all good. You can do this." I take my water bottle from the cup holder, and tip my head back, letting the water wet my dry mouth and then swallow.
"You're being ridiculous." The words fill my car, and I let them sink in.
I cut the engine of the Mercedes and look at the gym through my rearview mirror. I notice a set of lights by the front deskdim and see that my car clock says 12:58, so I hurry out of the SUV, worrying they are closing for the day. My big idea of coming here on Christmas Eve wasn't at all thought out because most places close early due to the holiday, and it seems this place is no different. And the kicker,I should know the hours because I am, after all, the owner.
My boot covered feet hit the ground, and I steady myself in the frigid weather. Wind whips around my body, cooling off my heated skin, so I pull my coat tighter. The weather in Seattle has been exceptionally cold, and I'm not used to the elements considering I'm from LA. Just as the thought of warm sandy beaches and seventy degree temperatures cross my mind, a gust of wind catches my door, slamming it shut.
"Well then, hint taken." I talk to myself, wondering if the Gods of Love are giving me a little shove.
I take my first step toward what I've wanted most these last five months and realize my scarf is caught in the door, yanking me backward. "Ugh." I lift the door handle to release myself and smile when a few cars honk as they pass, obviously witnessing what just happened. But nothing is going to stop me now, so I walk purposefully toward the gym.
My steps are hurried, not because I'm cold but because I want to see Edward—put an end to our separation, but when my gloved hand pulls on the door, it doesn't budge.
"No. No. No." I lean into the glass, cupping my hands around my eyes in order to see further into the gym. There's no movement, no people on machines and definitely no Edward.
It's desolate.
The wind has been knocked out of my sails as well as from my lungs. The reunion I had hoped for will not be. Edward's Christmas gift, in the form of me, will not be presented to its rightful recipient. I can't help but feel let down. I have dreamed of our reunion many times since Mike had told me I would once again be a free woman, and this is not how it was supposed to play out.
I let the wool of my glove soak up the few tears that prick at the corners of my eyes and slowly retrace my steps back to the Mercedes. I don't see the cars whiz by, and I don't hear the wind whip in my ears. I don't even feel the cold wind rush over my skin, and I certainly don't notice my hair twisting into a frenzied mess.
I am defeated, wordless and miserable.
The car is still warm from before, so I sit in silence without putting the key in the ignition. I grip the steering wheel and lean my forehead on my woolen hands.
"Maybe this is a sign." I mutter to myself.
I close my eyes and suck in a deep breath, mustering up enough willpower to make the drive home, to tell Jasper I didn't get to see Edward. I know he will be disappointed, maybe not as much as I am, but he was looking forward to getting our old lives back on track.
I'm sure this will feel like a set back to him because it sure as hell feels that way to me.
I want to thank my beta Tracy. I couldn't do this without her and I'm sure she knows that considering I drive her crazy with my tenses and flashbacks. Ha! Love you, Twinkie. Xo
And humongous thank you's to everyone reading this fic. I love the reviews, recs and positive feedback my story has been receiving.
I have one more chapter and then I'll have to mark this one complete.
Big Hugs,
OhGee xo