I awoke to see Miriam sitting at the edge of bed, looking down at me, the moonlight shining on her hair, with one side pinned back by a glittering diamond butterfly clip. She was breathtaking, glowing and sparkling as if some movie starlet straight out of the screen.
"I'm not stupid, you know," she said, in a tone unlike her little girl one.
"It is an act," I proclaimed.
"Everything here is. It's the only way to survive this place, to survive Henry and Agatha. They like me like this, I know they all don't want me to change, especially Agatha. Now Finny, enlighten me on what it is I'll learn about on my wedding night, I'm old enough to know," she then kissed me and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me to her, "show me how you know, show me what Agatha says you can't keep in," she seductively pursued, unbuttoning her nightgown, "As you can see I'm not a little girl."
My eyes bolted open as I suddenly was awake, out of breath, and all sweaty. It was a dream. I then automatically felt guilty, because it wasn't just a dream, but one of those dreams and it was about my innocent stepsister. It was wrong to think that way about her, not that I dared to.
Light shone through the curtains telling me it wasn't the middle of the night but morning. Oh god! I froze in panic when I heard her calling my name and heading to my room. I was immobile not knowing what to do and in such short time. In a jolt I wrap the covers tighter around me.
She came running in, all hyper, as she usually was.
"Finny! Finny!" she jump on my bed, "It is true!"
"Is what true," I said, my heart beating in fear from her closeness.
"Agatha said you're leaving to go to school!"
"That, yeah, I kind of am going, but it'll only be for awhile."
"No! Please don't go! You can't go!" she suddenly started crying on my shoulder and hugging me, "Who'll play with me when you're gone?"
"I'll be back before you know it," I said trying desperately not to get reminded of that dream. She wasn't dressed yet and was still in her thin nightgown and I didn't have shirt on again, making it impossible. It was the summer and the blankets were thin and not thick enough to hide everything. I push her away, nervous she would notice and…I didn't even want to imagine it and think of how mortifying it would be explaining it to her. "Listen Miriam, I really need you to leave me alone for moment. Do you know what privacy is? I kind of need that right now," I pleaded, hoping her leaving my room wouldn't be a lost cause, or something she'd take offense at, or worse, question.
"Why?"
I sighed, "It's a bit complicated okay," I said while trying to unnoticeably grab a pillow and pull it towards me, "I just really need to be alone, now. Please Miriam, just go."
"Why are you red?" she asked touching my face.
I jumped back at her touch, "I just am and I need you to leave, please," I pleaded, biting my lip and trying to keep it together.
"Are you sick?" she scooted forward, "you look like you're in pain."
I backed further, "I'm fine! Don't touch me. Just go!"
"Miriam!" I suddenly hear, Agatha. I slightly turn and see her standing at the doorway, "It's not polite to go barging into someone's room this early in the morning. Especially his room and in your nightgown! You know you're not allowed to be in Finn's room."
"He's my friend."
"I don't care, it's wrong either way. Now you better march yourself out before you-know-who sees you and gives you the belt. Now! Go!" she ordered.
Miriam reluctantly got up and walked out silently and hurt. Agatha stood there and watched her leave.
When she was gone, Agatha looked to me, "And that is why you must leave Miriam," she smirked, obviously knowing why I was covering myself with a pillow and looking agitated.
"Do you think it's all an act?" I suddenly asked.
"What is?"
"Miriam."
"There's only one actor in this family who constantly plays a part that isn't who he or she is, it's up to you to decide. For now just worry about school, and in future when you're staying here, pay close attention to the name Miriam refers herself as, now it may be Miri Lee, but when you return it might be another name. Always remember the name Meredith, Finn, never forget it."
"What?" I said confused.
"You better tend to that, before mother is the next one to burst in, and you don't want to know what would happen if she were to see that her sweet little boy isn't so sweet and little anymore," she said shutting the door.
I sat back and breathed. What kind of answer was that? Meredith? Yet another mysterious person I didn't know about. Was she a victim or another person I should fear? And why would Miriam refer to herself with that name?
At the moment, I needed to worry about hiding from my stepmother the evidence that I was a teenage boy with raging hormones, and not a precious child, before she walked in at any minute.
This was a nightmare, but at least it was one that didn't venture into anything worse. Thank god Miriam didn't notice. If wasn't for Agatha saving me, it would have been both a mortifying and horrific catastrophe.
There was a knock at my door before it opened a small crack and clean sheets were thrown in, and closing the door.
It was evident now, who the actor in the family really was…my protector who lurks in the shadows and hides behind a role…but why the act I had yet to find out.
Later that day I found Miriam after an hour of looking for her. I figured she had to been hurt by me kicking her out and Agatha yelling at her. She was hiding in a closet in one of the unoccupied guestrooms.
"I'm not allowed in this room either?" she asked.
"Not that I know of," I said sitting down next to her, "Look, I'm sorry about this morning, but you have to understand, there's boundaries you must respect. You can't just barge in someone's bedroom early in the morning before they woken up."
"You went into my room in the middle of the night, while I was still asleep."
I looked away, surprised at her smart observation, "True, but that was… different."
"How so? And didn't you say married people can share rooms together?"
I took the ring off and put it in her hand, "We're not married. No more pretend. It's not cute anymore."
She pulled away for a second then turned back to me. Her blue eyes centered on me, hurt and wanting to make feel guilty in everyway, "You lied, you're just like the rest of them. Only Meredith understands! She was right about you. First you, push me away, now you mock me like they all do, and soon you'll be gone, leaving me alone. I'm not cute! I'm never cute! Only little girl's are cute, and I'm not one of them!" in desperate frustration she tried her best attempt to kiss me on the lips, jamming her nose into mine. It was literally like a little girl trying to mimic the fairytale kiss she had seen in storybooks. I purposely fell back and push her away.
She collapsed and covered her face, crying from knowing she got it wrong and made herself lookout to be the little girl she denied being.
I sat up, not knowing what to say or do.
"I thought I was like Rupunzel, and when you came, it was like you were my prince, and that maybe like the story we'd marry and I'd have twins and…" she sobbed.
"I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way, and you knew the truth, being who I am to you, that it could never happen. I love you, just not in that way. That's the reality. I'd love to stay with you and play all day, but I have to leave and go off to school. And it has nothing to do with me not liking you anymore. It's what I have to do."
"You do that, while I'll stay here a little girl forever waiting to go off and grow up. Maybe you're last name is Darling after all, maybe you'll grow like Wendy as I'll stay the same like Peter, and you'll see me less and less through the years."
"And what about Meredith?" I'd ask who, but I sensed she didn't want me to know.
"She's just someone who talks to me, talks to me like a grown up. She's now my only hope out of here. She can make me grow up…that is if I let her."
"Do I know this Meredith? Have I met her?" I played along.
"No, not yet, but soon you will…"
"Can others see her as well?" I was beginning to suspect Meredith was just an imaginary friend, but oh how wrong I was…
"It's impossible not to see Meredith, dangerous even. You have to, or else she'll either get mad or…"
"Or what?"
"Do something mean while you're not looking. You always have to keep your eye on Meredith. Always."
"Why? Just where is this Meredith?"
"Shh! She'll here you. I can't tell you, I promised her I wouldn't. She'll get mad if I tattled on her."
"Let her get mad. Tell me."
"No, because if I did I'd only be proving you and everyone right, that I am a little girl who can't do anything, not even keep a secret. NO! She's my friend and I'm not telling!" She got up and ran off.
Meredith, the name haunted me. Who is she and how could I have not met her yet? And why was she a threat?
Later on while in my room at sunset, something shined in my eyes, blinding me. I walked to it slowly, and couldn't believe my eyes when the object became apparent.
NO! It couldn't be! I backed up in disbelief and utter shock. HOW?!
There on the floor by my bed was a diamond barrette…the same diamond barrette worn by…
I collapsed on the window seat. There's only one actor in this family who constantly plays a part that isn't who he or she is…Agatha's words repeated in my head. Always remember the name Meredith, Finn, never forget it.
I immediately walked out and went to Miriam's room. The door was shut and locked. Just when I was about to bang on the door I heard voiced talking, Miriam's and someone else's.
"I can't! Finny's my friend!" Miriam cried.
"He's a boy Miri Lee. A disgusting boy who only wants one thing from you. Remember what I explained to you."
Was that Agatha or…Meredith?
"I think you're a mean liar. He would never do something that disgusting, I know, for this morning I got in bed with him, like you told me to do, and he didn't touch me, not once. I was even indecent, almost naked in just my thin nightie, and he was barely dressed too."
So she did know what she was doing to me…
"The act never gets performed in the morning you fool, and especially not in broad daylight where he could be easily caught. I told you to go to his bed after midnight."
"I don't believe you."
"Well little Miri Lee, it's the only thing that'll make you a woman...and being that you want a baby so bad, you should try it."
"How would that give me a baby?"
"See for yourself. You don't have much time."
"He'll never, I'm only a little girl to him."
"Well show him that you're not. Make it impossible for him to refuse you. I already told you how. Tonight I'll take the straps off for you."
"Why would you do this when you hate him?"
"Don't you mind my intentions. It's something you'll never understand, just like how you'll never understand the amount of pain he caused me, all those years trying to figure out what was so special about him…why he was the one she picked."
Agatha! I covered my mouth. It was Agatha in the room with her. That manipulative snake! I could tell what her plot would be, have Miriam come to my bed, exposed maybe, and then that is where Agatha would wake Henry and arrange for him to walk in on what would look like me seducing Miriam.
"Finn, what are you doing standing by Miriam's door like that?"
I turned my head to see Agatha standing in the hall looking at me skeptically.
"I don't understand," I said, so confused, I thought she was in the room with Miriam…
"What else is new?" she smirked walking past me to her room, "You should be busy packing for school. I told you, just forget about Miriam for now."
"Agatha," I suddenly said before she went in to lock herself away again.
"Yes?"
"Could you do me a favor?"
"What kind?"
"Tonight could you please keep on eye on Miriam and make sure she doesn't sneak in to my room in the middle of the night?"
She froze in stance looking at me in dead seriousness, "Has she been doing this often? Tell me the truth, I need to know."
"Once, last night,' I handed her the barrette.
She dropped it, like it burned her, "Where did you get this?!"
"She left it in my room. Why?"
"Oh god," she said shaking, "forget it happened, Finn, go back to your room and pack," she composed herself picking up the barrette, "now!"
"Meredith?" I dared to ask.
"Don't act like you know what you're talking about, or that you know as much as me. You don't have the slightest clue and even if you did, you still don't know the jest of what's going on."
That night I lay awake, waiting to see if anything would happen. Locked in my room as always, I stood helpless.
I heard a door unlock and open, Miriam's door.
"Don't even think about it," I then heard Agatha.
"Think about what, I wasn't going to do anything," Miriam said innocently.
"You can't fool me."
"Meredith's coming."
"Oh she is, is she?"
"Yes, and she said you better watch out, she's going to get you."
"Well tell her I'll be waiting and ready for her."
"Why aren't you scared?"
"Because I've beaten her before and I'll do it again."
"She's coming for Finn."
"I know, and too bad for her, he'll be away in a place where she can't get to him."
"She got to David."
"David was blind, Finn's different. He's nothing like David."
"She'll find a way, she always does."
"Not this time, so help me," Agatha said with a fierce determination…
A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews and sorry for the wait!