Chapter 10

There is a knock at the door. The violin tune I had been playing is lost from my mind and I stop. I listen intently.

Another knock follows - three of them. A good few seconds after the first - hesitation. Thinking, perhaps? Pondering whether to try again or leave.

I hear shuffling now and wonder if I should get the door. Not a client - even if it were, there would be no point for me to think about taking a case now. Although it would be quite relieving to have my mind focused on something other than all these ridiculous emotions. The few minutes with the Sebastian Moran case had even been enough to make me not think about John - even when he was right next to me. He had not been the main part of my mind as I explained to Greg Lestrade all about Sebastian Moran.

Progress in my attempt to delete John Watson from my mind.

So now I ponder whether I should even bother to open the door at all. What a waste of energy and time it would be to walk over there only to find the person gone or unimportant. How would I feel if they were trying to sell me something? Lash out, most likely. Get complaints.

I sigh. People with their high standards and need to quarrel about pointless things.

I gently set down my violin and walked quietly towards the door. Upon approaching the door I lean myself close, listening against it.

They are still there. And with the hesitance combined with the staying plus nervous breathing right now...

Well, then.

I yank open the door. All the emotion that had been on my face immediately dissolves. I stare cooly at Mary Morstan, standing in the doorway.

"Hello, Mr. Holmes," she says.

Formal dress, new and freshly ironed. Faint perfume hanging in the air - applied long before. One shoe has a crease... rushed as she put it on. Her hair is still damp... shower, less than an hour or so ago. Bag has only one possession in it... phone - yes. Tucked away - not minded. Silenced? Shifting... nervous? No. In a hurry? In a hurry for... what, exactly?

Ah. To get back to John.

"Mary Morstan," I nod tensley. "What is the... pleasure of having you here today?"

"I wanted to thank you for attempting to cooperate with my... suggestion to keep your distance," she says.

"It was, most certainly, not for you. I am quite certain you know all my actions are all for him specifically, and him alone."

"Of course."

"Although I must admit that I do not dislike you as much as I previously had."

"Why is that?"

"I'm sure you can figure it out for yourself."

Morstan pauses and I watch as the realization dawns upon her in a matter of seconds.

"Yes, I see," she nods.

"John is happy with you," I confirm. "He deserves to be happy."

"I'm glad you understand that I care about him-"

"...We both care about him." I interrupt, quite irritated by her once more. I push the feeling away to focus.

For the first time, Morstan gives a small smile - barely, as her eyes were still cold, but a smile nonetheless.

"Looks like we do have something in common after all," she says.

"I should confirm now that all this doesn't make us... friends." I scowl at the last word that can only be used for one other person.

She nods again. "I know."

"Good. That is settled, then."

"I have to ask... why do you care about John so much?" she asks. At first I assume she is taunting me. Dangling John in front of me like some object we both want...

"He..." I begin, not sure where to start. I do not want to tell her anything. Though I remember it will not make much difference by now. "...he is tolerable."

"Oh, yes... tolerable."

I scowl, continuing. "He never insults me. He's the only person who... cared about me. He's not an idiot. Is that good enough for you? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to my life."

"One more thing," Morstan protests. "I have to ask -"

"No."

"I'm sorry, what...?"

"No. You were wondering if I will be a part of you and John's relationship at all anymore. To avoid more unnecessary, complicated situations regarding the three of us, the answer is no. I will not be 'bothering' you - nor John - any longer."

Morstan seems to not be sure what else to say next. For a moment I see a new flicker of emotion I have not imagined or expected for her to acquire at all in my presence.

"Do not pity me," I warn. "I do not need it."

She does not say anything. I pause, unsure, before adding:

"After all... I never expected John to stay here forever."

It's the truth. At least, I believe it is. Still... is it?

Even I do not believe myself anymore.

Morstan doesn't seem to be entirely convinced either, but nods anyway. Most likely to get away as quickly as possible.

"Good day, Sherlock Holmes," she says finally.

I do not watch her go. I instead, I shut the door behind her without a second glance.

I am positive it is the last time I will ever see that lady again.