TITLE: Don't Just Show Me, Tell Me

CHAPTER: 10, I Can't Live

LOCATION: The Citadel (Now Orbiting Earth)

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

Alliance Marine, Major James Vega shifted his daughter's weight across his lap. "Hey Mari, we're almost there." He said softly, kissing her forehead. All he got for his efforts was a frown and she turned her face against his shoulder. Smiling down at her tossled head, he just pulled her close again.

He knew from experience it was better to let her wake up on her own. Sleep had never come easy for her. When she was an infant there were some nights when he, Garrus and Tali took turns walking her up and down the corridors. Sometimes it was Traynor who could quiet her and sometimes it was Garrus. There were many times when the CO of the Normandy wore a baby sling as he went about his duties. Then, once she fell asleep she did not wake up easily.

"Wake up, Mariposa. You don't want to miss the landing do you?"

In response, she simply snuggled deeper.

Accepting this assignment on the Citadel was a good move for them. It meant a promotion for him and an opportunity to get his daughter around kids her own age. She'd been raised in an adult world and it was quite possible she was a little spoiled and a lot opinionated. It was time for her to discover she wasn't actually the center of the universe and meet children who were just as smart as she was. Heaven help them.

Her stubborn determination often manifested itself in a set of mannerisms that were so much like her mother's it often left him stunned. She'd learned to manipulate him by the time she was a year old. But then, she'd melted his heart the first time he'd held her in his arms. Yeah, meeting new people and attending a real school was the best thing for his precocious little butterfly.

"Daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it time to see our new home?"

"In just about ten minutes. Do you want to help Steve with docking?"

"YES!" She exclaimed, going from sleeping to wide awake in seconds. Sending a stream of spanish directed at Steve Cortez, she ran forward to assist the pilot in guiding the Kodiak down.

Vega tipped his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. A lot had happened in the last five years and not a minute of it could he imagine happening to him. Until he'd met Commander Shepard, he'd never really been in love. Hell, he hadn't even know what it meant. He'd been just another marine grunt; fighting, drinking and playing cards. There was simply no where in his heart or mind that imagined he could duplicate that time with the Commander. Then when he'd met his daughter, he'd fallen hard. A tiny bundle of black hair and green eyes and toothless grin had given him a reason to keep living.

They needed each other and they took care of each other. Somehow she'd seemed to realize that. Once, when he'd explained that the woman in the picture by his bed was her mother, he'd watched her work out the logic of the three of them. One was missing. She wanted to know why her mother wasn't here with them. Where was she and when was she coming back? Why did Tali's son get a mother and a father, but she didn't? Vega hadn't realized until that moment that it was possible to miss something you'd never had.

That her mother had died fighting to save Earth was easier to explain that where babies came from. He grinned at that memory. She'd been very concerned about just where and how Tali's son would find his way out of that suit.

He wished Shepard could see Tali and Kal'Reeger together. They'd found each other again after the battle and now they were a little family. They were so good for each other. Mariposa needed that mother figure in her life now. Liara and Tali had done all they could to fill that particular emptiness in her life. Mariposa had brought joy to all their lives. Just how a mother for his daughter figured into Vega's life had not yet been resolved or even faced.

Since Shepard's death and the entrance of his daughter into his life, he had not been with another woman. Between his duties as commanding officer of the Normandy and raising Mariposa there'd never been time. Not that he'd looked very hand. A mother for Mariposa, meant a woman in his life. He remembered every kiss he's shared with his Lola. Memories of the time when they'd met down at the water park to the time they'd cracked the glass on the aquarium, left little room for new memories.

Now the precious results of those two months together was five years old and she'd asked for a mother for her birthday

The shuttle bumped to a stop, rousing Vega out of his thoughts. He grabbed their bags and shook hands with Steve. "See you in a couple of months, Jefe."

"You take care, Major. You too, Mariposa."

"Adios, Esteban!"

They made an interesting pair as he moved through the Citadel. The tall muscular marine looking far too young to be wearing those major's bars on his shoulders and the petite little girl holding his hand. Although she favored her mother in many ways, she was her father's daughter in hair color, bearing and attitude. The sight of them drew several smiles from the people they passed.

Vega shook her hand. "Mari, we aren't entering a battle zone, you don't have took look as if you're spoiling for a fight."

"But Skipper, Garrus and Zaeed told me to always be ready when entering new surroundings." She replied, seriously.

Vega rolled his eyes. How in the world was he going to turn his little soldier back into a little girl?"

They made their way to the Presidium Commons and the CSec Field Office. "Mariposa, I need to check in here. Can you, stay right here on this couch until I get back?"

"Aye, Skipper."

Major Vega winked at his daughter, straightened his uniform jacket, nodded to the turian receptionist who unlocked the door and waived the Major in.

After several minutes of kicking her feet against the couch and watching the passing parade of aliens, she was getting restless. She could identify them all and she'd met at least one representative from each race. How much longer? She was getting bored. But, she had promised to wait. So to occupy herself Mariposa carefully placed Garrus' visor on her head.

Adjusting the eyepiece the walls of the office suddenly flashed large in her view. The sign 'CSec' bloomed large. This was too close. She needed to look at something farther away. So down the stairs she walked, enjoying how people in the distance looked so close up now. At the bottom of the stairs. She turned right and the entire panorama of the Commons and the water park filled her view. Mariposa searched for the best spot to watch the water fountains sparkling in the light. Another set of stairs. The water was so pretty. Suddenly something entirely blocked her view. She looked up just as she bumped into a lady. The lady was smiling at her.

"Are you lost, Sweetie?"

Lost? She'd been raised with the survival instincts of a quarian, the wisdom of an asari, the cunning and patience of a mercenary and the battlefield sense of a marine. Mariposa was nobody's fool. She knew exactly how far she'd walked and exactly how to get back to where her father had made her promise to wait.

"No ma'am, I'm not lost."

The woman didn't seem to hear her and said, my name is Mercedes what's yours?"

"Mariposa, ma'am."

"Mariposa? What a lovely name. Little Butterfly would you sit here with me for a few minutes?"

Little Butterfly?

With one eye on the direction back to her father and the CSec Office, Mariposa chose the seat which left her a direct path to the stairs. Zaeed would be proud.

"So Little Butterfly what brings you to the Citadel?"

"My father and I moved here today," and My name is not little butterfly.

"How exciting. Why don't I order us some ice cream. What's your favorite flavor?"

Major Vega was talking to Bailey over his comm link; trading insults and promising to meet later for beers. He was juggling a stack of PADDS when he stepped back into the waiting room.

"Let's go see our new place, Mariposa," but his little girl was nowhere to be found.

"Mariposa? Mari! Did anyone see a little girl with black hair?"

A nearby batarian simply blinked his eyes and turned away. The turian guard shrugged and the quarian ducked his hooded face and hurried away. Otherwise the corridor was empty and there was no sign of his daughter.

Think marine, he thought to himself willing down the growing concern. Marines, don't panic, remember?

She had not been out of his site since he'd brought her aboard the Normandy. The wide open spaces of the Citadel now seemed a dangerous place for a little girl who was accustomed to the confines of a space ship.

As he hurried down the steps, several people stopped to chat and welcome him to him to the Citadel. Several others saluted. All of which interrupted his search for his daughter. Then it occurred to him that she might be attracted to the water. Vega quickened his pace and reached the the cafe just as he noticed a small dark head and her very familiar gesturing. His heart began to slow down to normal. She appeared to be talking to a woman who was sitting with her back to him. His daughter never met a stranger that was for sure.

"Mariposa?"

"Hi Skipper! This is Mercedes. She was just asking me about our ship."

The woman stood and turned with her hand out, grasping Major Vega's hand with hers before he could react.

The reaction was immediate. Her hand was warm and soft. Her grip firm. Her eyes were black as her hair and she held both his eyes and his hand just a moment too long. To say she was obviously beautiful, might not be the important thing. With her jet black hair and eyes, she was both alluring and mysterious.

He could not deny the surge of longing that shot through him. He acknowledged it and tried to let it pass. But she held on to his hand and his heart had begun to beat too quickly for his liking.

"Very nice to meet you, Major...?"

"Vega."

Major Vega. I'm Mercedes Villarreal and I'm new here myself. I'm a doctor over at Huerta. We've all been hearing about the famous marine coming here to clean up this, this I believe the expression is "wild west, town?"

"Daddy, can we go see our new place now?"

"That's a good idea, Mari." Thankful to his daughter for giving him a way out of this awkward moment. He deliberately stepped away from the woman.

"Nice to have met you, Doctor Villarreal."

"I don't mean to keep you. But while you're still getting settled, why don't you allow me to make you two dinner. I haven't made any friends here yet. Please, say yes. I promise a home cooked meal."

"Can we Daddy? I'm hungry."

"Why don't you two get checked into your new place and give me a call when you're ready." She pressed a data chip into his hand. We can have a nice evening and your adorable little girl and I can finish getting to know each other."

"I can't promise right now. But it's very kind of you to offer. Good night."

As they walked away, Vega asked his daughter, "What did you think of her Mari?"

"Well, Skipper. I don't understand why she thought we could be friends...you know, just like that."

"Yeah, that's what I think too."

"She called me Little Butterfly. Dumb. Did you think she was pretty?"

"Yes, Mari, I thought she was very pretty."

"I guess. Daddy?"

"Yes, My Little Butterfly? He asked, accostomed to her lightening quick changes of mood."

"I've been thinking. You and I will always be semper fi. But I think I want to join the Alliance Navy."

"What? You'll break my heart."

She laughed and reached up to take his hand. "I will not break your heart! Ever!"

He thought she probably would, and many times. But this idea of hers to join the Navy was a new one. So he bravely ventured a question.

"Why the Navy?"

"I want to be a pilot."

"I don't know about that.""

"Why?"

"Sorry Mari. You can't"

"WHY? I want to be a pilot like you and Steve and JokerJeff."

"Because your feet can't touch the pedals yet! Come on, I'll race you to the top of the stairs. I'll even let you win if you sing the Marine Hymn with me."

She let go of his hand, turned and gave him a pure Commander Shepard grin. This stopped him long enough for her to get a head start and as she ran up the stairs she sang, "Stand Navy out to sea. Fight our battle cry. We'll never change our course..."

He chased her up the stairs, singing the Marine Hymn: "From the Halls of Montezuma. To the Shores of Tripoli. We fight our country's battles. In the air, on land and sea..."

He caught up to her at the top, grabbing her hand and steering her toward the elevator. "Come on, Mari. I thought we were semper fi? You're hurting my feelings."

She giggled again and began the next verse; "So vicious foes steer she-y-y!"

He sang out just as loud as she was, "First to fight for right and freedom and to keep our honor clean."

"Roll out the TNT!" She sang, laughing at her father's singing.

'We are proud to claim the title of Alliance Marine!'

"Skipper! It's Anchors aweigh. Sail on to Victory! And sink their bones to Davey Jones, hurray!"

"Okay, My Little Butterfly, you win. But only this time."

"Daddy? If you don't stop calling me Little Butterfly, I will run away and join the Blue Suns."

"I'd be sorry to see you go, Mariposa le poco. Can you wait just a minute before you pack your bags?"

"Why?"

"Because, we are here."

He set her down and unlocked the door of their new home.

There were floor to ceiling windows which overlooked over the Commons. One bedroom was on the bottom floor and the master suite was upstairs. The second floor also had floor to ceiling windows, an office area and a workout room.

Vega whistled appreciatively as he walked slowly up the stairs. Okay, so rank did come with privileges. He yelled down the stairwell. "How's it looking down there?"

"COME SEE MY ROOM!"

He knew Tali and Liara had made some arrangements, but he didn't know the specifics. Vega found his daughter standing in the center of the room, turning around and around with a very big grin on her face and eyes wide with wonder.

The walls were painted sky blue and all around the walls were birds in flight, brightly colored butterflies and fluffy painted clouds. In one corner, was a painted tree and on the floor an area that looked like a nice grassy place to have a picnic, complete with a small table and small dishes and cups. There was a bed with a blue and green quilt and her complete collection of "The Hero's of the NR-2 Normandy" dolls were lined up against the pillows waiting for her inspection. In the opposite corner was a desk with a computer and bookshelves where her favorite books were already lined up. She had her own small bathroom and a real closet for her clothes. It was a beautiful room.

"Do you like it, Mari. What do you think of that big bed? Will you be okay down here?"

"Skipper, I'm five now!" She said, as if that explained everything.

At that moment the doorbell rang. Vega turned to his daughter. "Okay, Miss I'm five and all grown up now. First rule, you do not open this front door unless you know exactly who is on the other side. Understood?"

"Aye Skipper!"

"Do you understand it better than 'stay here on this couch until I get back?'"

"Yes, sir, she said, with a sad face."

Vega opened the door to Mercedes Villarreal with a bowl of something which smelled almost as good as she did and a bottle of wine.

She walked straight in the door, "I'm sorry! I know I'm butting in, but you're the only people I've really met here so far. I did bring a peace offering."

"Uh...Come on in, Doctor Villarreal."

"You must call me Mercedes." She said and headed straight for the kitchen.

Father and daughter exchanged identical looks as she swept past them.

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(I can't live) With or With Out You

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you