Chapter Ten

'Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round…'

Do You Realize, The Flaming Lips

The trick was not thinking. Siobhan told herself that, every step up the stairs, making her too aware of Daryl right behind her. They were walking as if a few feet between them would mean losing each other forever or something. She didn't mind it. This might be the only time they could do this. She noticed him taking one of the fat pillar candles from the mantle over the cold fireplace. It made her too aware of what she'd be seeing soon. But she needed to know. She had to know what he would feel like. How he would touch her given a chance. Just to see where the fire inside of them was going to go. How hot it could burn. She reached back behind her, fingers closing around his belt buckle like she had to do it. He made a sound that was part appreciative and part surprised. He pressed her to the wall of the stairwell, his mouth slamming down over hers. She tasted whiskey, blood and want. Her cut lip throbbed at the harsh contact, but it only made the moment more real for her. Sex had never been an easy sweet thing she had experienced. If it hurt, it felt familiar.

She had to shove those thoughts well back. This wasn't some man going to force her, use her like a napkin or a porno mag. Just for getting off and fuck her if she liked it or not. This was a man, the first man, she wanted. That had to count for something.

His tongue slid across hers, and this time she was the one making a hungry sound.

"Bedroom."

He said it in a gruff whisper, and she wasn't sure if he was reminding her or himself. It didn't matter. She followed him into the dark room, glad when he closed and locked the door. They were alone. Siobhan met him at the door, not able to think all that clearly through the haze of lust. She sucked at his tongue, shivering when his hands were on her breasts. He cupped her breasts hard, as if he wanted to leave his hand-prints there, rasping the lace of her bra across her nipples, abrading the tender points into peaks. Siobhan whispered his name, feeling herself getting wet. Embarrassingly hot and wet.

"Just a sec."

Daryl put the candle down, lighting it, casting flickering shadows around the room. He glanced to the bed and then to her.

"I slept up here last time. Bed's pretty good."

His voice betrayed his touch of shyness, and she wasn't about to tease him about it. She didn't want to get called on her own inexperience. Maybe they weren't right for most people. They could be two wrongs making a right.

Moving over to him, she unbuttoned his shirt, her fingers so shaky it wasn't a quick task. Stripping him down to the waist, she saw the scars on his skin. Some were recently healed over, but they crossed over older, nearly white marks- and she knew he had been carrying them for a long time. She kissed over a roundish scar on his pectoral, knowing it was a puncture wound, nothing so clean as a knife.

"What did this?"

He shook his head, "Not goin there. Was a long time ago."

Like that settled things, he picked her up and carried her to the bed, boots and all. When her back hit the cold mattress, she shivered, drawing a smile from him.

"You going to do this with your boots on, cowboy?"

Her teasing tone was covering up how skittish she was. Seeing him taking her boots off before his own was escalating her nerves. He meant business here.

"Daryl?"

The tone of her voice made him pause in unsnapping her jeans.

"Yeah?"

"I haven't done this much."

"I was kinda hopin you weren't a professional."

She blushed, sitting up some to watch him working her jeans down her hips. Siobhan lifted her bottom, helping him undress her. She couldn't help noticing he wasn't as unclothed as she was. He looked over her in her panties, his eyes moving down her long legs.

"Prettiest legs I ever saw."

His hands stroked up her ankles, up her calves. He noticed she was ticklish just behind her knees, smiling a little before he kissed her there. When she made a squeaking sound, he laughed all low and warm, licking the hollow behind her knee like he had all night to torment her. Siobhan smothered a scream to a pillow she turned her face to, begging him with muffled pleas to stop.

She still wasn't quite ready for his fingers sliding up under her shirt. His touch was rougher than she had imagined, but then she saw the way his eyes were on her revealed bra. He looked transfixed, and she wasn't used to being looked at like that. She reached behind herself, unclipping her bra, letting him peel it away along with her t-shirt. She was silent as he ran his fingers over her breasts, under and between the full orbs, blunt nails scraping her eager nipples.

"Daryl…"

The whisper barely made it from her lips before he was bowing his head, sucking at the tip of one breast, and then taking as much of her nipple and breast into his mouth as he could. The hot, strong tugs of his mouth coiled her belly. She heard the sounds she was making as he took her other breast to taste, his mouth biting over her nipple and sucking the sting away. Siobhan thought he might die or pass out from the rush of sensations. It was so much all at once. And they'd only just started. Her fingers drove into his hair, pulling him closer. His eyes lifted to hers.

"You like that?"

"Yessss…"

"You taste good."

He licked the shallow valley between her aching breasts, his hands going down to her hips.

"Tell me if I hurt you… I can't hardly pay attention."

"I know…"

She whispered the words, because God, she could barely think straight herself. Her throat felt tight from excitement and nerves. The way he skimmed her panties off made her hold her breath.

"You're so wet. This for me?"

He ran his middle finger up her slit, catching her hot cream and stroking it over her sex-lips until she was gasping and moving like she had to follow his touch.

"This is…not…fair."

Siobhan sat up, seeing him move back as she was on her knees in front of him. Her need for fair play meant he was about to get naked too. Her fingers fumbled over his belt buckle, but she managed it, seeing how his belly went in. He was holding his breath. As tense as she was. She kissed his mouth softly, not letting him slide away into his mind. They both needed to be here and now for this. The leather of his belt sighed as it slid free of its metal buckle, clanking softly when she pushed it away to get to his fly.

She felt treacherously hot just from handling him like this. He wasn't telling her to stop. He was just so on edge, his fingers wet from her pussy when he grasped her hip. She let his zipper down nice and slow, not wanting to hurt him. Definitely buying herself a little bit of time to pretend she knew what she was doing. Pushing the denim away from his hips, she saw he wasn't wearing anything under his jeans. Skin, hot and hard all over. She met his narrowed eyes for a second before her hand was sliding around his hidden cock. She pulled him free of his jeans, and then blushed hotter at how he more than filled her hand. She had her fist wrapped around him and the head of his shaft wetly kissed her inner wrist. Her initial response was to say he couldn't be serious. This was not a cock for beginners or novices. Her joking words turned to ash when she saw how he looked like he was worried. He was just as vulnerable as she was. Siobhan decided to ease his fears by ignoring her own.

"All this for me?"

Hearing his own words said back to him, Daryl blushed, croaking, "Yeah."

His hand came down to cover hers, like a warning. She squeezed her grip around him until he made a sound that made her breath catch. Then they were kissing again, the twinge from her wound barely registering as his mouth ate at hers. He was over her, his body mantling hers, his shaft throbbing in her hand. His fingers worked at her clit, moving down to enter her, one and then two at a time until she was sure she was going to scream.

"I…can't… I'm …."

Whatever she was going to say was lost by his hand covering her mouth, pressing down. She came with his palm blocking the sounds of her pleasure. He watched her so intently, as if collecting his due from her. Siobhan gave it to him, letting him see how he affected her. No pretense. She was still shivering from her orgasm as he worked a condom on over his cock.

He slid his body back over hers, and damned if they both didn't look like they were about to shoot themselves in the foot but had to give it a whirl. Daryl put a palm flat to the bed before he lowered his hips to hers. His free hand went to her heated sex, fingers catching her cream to wet down his latex covered shaft.

"You ready?"

Siobhan answered him by lifting her legs around his hips, drawing him in closer. After that motion, their bodies just knew what to do. He slipped the head of his shaft into her, pushing his way past her tightness, staking claim deep inside of her. When it hurt, she moved to meet him, not wanting to stop just because her body was unused to this invasion. The glancing flashes of pleasure and pain mixed and then became solely need. They moved to one another, his thrusts jarring her and making her body respond by clasping around him like a vise.

"God-damn, Chevy… sweet fuckin' Jesus…"

His blasphemies would have made her smile if she wasn't so caught up in how good he felt within her. She didn't feel empty. His body was pinning hers, his cock buried inside of her – and she was holding him in the most intimate way possible. Connected.

He moved harder and deeper into her, his breath ragged to her neck as he finally went taut all over. He slammed into her, holding his place as he got off.

She kissed his sweat damp brow, her own breath coming in gasps. He had made her see stars before he was ever fucking her. Worry flickered to life inside of her. How was she supposed to act like this had never happened and didn't matter?

Part Two

She was sleeping, naked as a jay next to him. Daryl still had his jeans on. He'd been too busy earlier to take em all the way off, and now he was sure they'd have to get up soon. Least for the sake of appearances, he shouldn't be strutting around naked. Come to think of it, he'd dress and go out the window and down the side. He could say he went out to piss.

His eyes went over Siobhan, noticing how sweet and young she looked asleep. Like nothing was wrong in her world. He ran his fingers down her spine, her tight ass was to his groin. He moved her curly hair aside, kissing at her nape until she murmured in her sleep, winding her body to his as if they'd woke up this way a million times. The truth of the matter was so far off. He noticed the black rose tattoo on the back of her shoulder, seeing how the ridges of ink rose up under her skin. Touching the flower, Daryl leaned in, getting a better look at it. The way some of the lines were a little thicker than others.

"It was a bite."

Siobhan whispered the words.

He hadn't known she was awake. He pulled her gently closer to him.

"Who bit you?"

"A bad man."

"He dead?"

"Ryker's got him. He was put away a few years ago, got into it with a fellow inmate and died in the yard."

She rested her face to the inner curve of her arm, still not looking at him. It felt like he was reading her diary, not that she'd ever kept one. She couldn't imagine what he was thinking. When he kissed the rose at its center, a tremor ran down through her body.

"What about the burning lady? I was lookin at her earlier. It's religious, right?"

Rolling over to face him, Siobhan took the sheet with her. Sitting up in bed she felt a little less anxious. She was a little shier in the first morning light.

"Anima Sola. She's chained, but the chains are not what's binding her in place. They aren't attached to anything but her…but she doesn't know that." Her eyes dropped to the tattoo in question, seeing the woman's ethereal face. "She means different things to different people. To me, she means that nothing, no matter how bad it is…is forever. There's nothing we can't escape, one way or another. Even if we're hurt or we think we might break, we can get back up. As long as I can get back up I never lose. It's not over."

He listened quietly, not interrupting. All of her tattoos had something to do with pain or fire. The rose would be the pretty tattoo, except it was hiding where some bastard had dug his teeth into her skin. Daryl felt some moments didn't call for words. There was nothing he could throw into the air between them that'd make it better, so he was silent as he dressed.

His eyes travelled over her and he spoke in a tone she hadn't expected. Terse, clipped from worry. "Don't you never tell Merle what you told me. He won't be good with bein lied to, never mind the reason. He doesn't trust people. You and the sister, well, he thinks you're the real thing. I don't know how he'd do with the truth."

She nodded, hearing the genuine warning in his tone.

"I won't tell him. We can be careful. No one has to know this happened."

"I know and you know. I ain't forgettin any time soon."

Something in his eyes felt like too much to look at head-on. Getting up, wrapped in the sheet, Siobhan walked over to look out the window. It was white outside. Strangely pretty. Snow blinded, making the world look glittery, whole and sweet.

"That's going to be fun to drive through."

Daryl half-smiled. "Yeah, I've driven in snow all of never."

"I can drive. I've been on snow before."

"Your belly…"

"If it survived last night, it can take me driving."

Seeing him blush, she laughed. Daryl just gave her a look before he was opening the window.

"What are you doing?"

"Coverin for your ass." He bopped a quick kiss to her cheek. "Keepin your reputation all nice and shiny."

He was out the window before she could say a word, leaving her with a slightly dazed expression.

Part Three

If Glenn and Maggie thought there was anything weird about Daryl walking in the back door with a beer and a cigarette, they didn't let on. Siobhan was getting the impression that Glenn noticed more than he said but kept it to himself, and Maggie? She was not on her guard or keeping track of anyone else's business. If Maggie thought anything was suspect, she had too much on her own plate to worry about it. Siobhan's offer to drive was accepted by all the native Georgians that didn't like the looks of the snow.

She was happy to do the driving, since it would give her something to do besides thinking about how Daryl had stayed beside her all night. If he had gotten out of bed and wandered off right after they'd had sex, it would have been like a door slamming. An end. Some closure that could be dealt with. He had held her while she slept. She didn't think he'd slept much himself, because they weren't on the road for an hour before he was sleeping in the passenger side, his head to the window. He was so bundled up she couldn't see his face except for his closed eyes. It was kinda cute how cold the cold was when you were used to being fried by the Georgian sun.

The drive took longer than usual, but not longer than expected. There were no road crews throwing down sand or salt. The four by four truck was a blessing, but still, Siobhan had to be careful for icy patches or large objects hidden by the blanket of snow. She was glad they'd left so early because if it had been dark out, she'd be moving the truck at a crawl and stopping often to investigate the road ahead. The snow created illusions, and she didn't like the idea of falling through where road used to be, into snow and other wrecked vehicles. A certain tension bled out of her shoulders once she was on the road leading back towards the house.

"Thank God." Breathed Glenn behind her. Siobhan gave him a look of agreement via the rearview mirror.

Pulling into the long drive of the house, Siobhan wanted to be inside already. She had missed Sister Sarah, the kids. Her dog. She wanted to be sure Diablo was keeping warm in this cold. He was so grumpy he could be overlooked by people. The thought had her glancing at Daryl before she laughed a little and parked the truck.

Surprisingly, it was Merle and Shane that came out to welcome them. Daryl was awake enough to get out of the cab, pulling supplies out with him. Siobhan saw a look pass between the Dixon brothers before Merle nodded her way.

"It's good you're back. Andrea's been on a tear waitin for y'all. I hope you got batteries."

Siobhan handed a pack to Merle, things he'd asked for. "Batteries?"

"For her Black and Decker Pussy Wrecker. She needs it bad."

Shocked into laughter, Siobhan shook her head, taking out more bags. "Good to see you too, Merle."

Shane took a few of the packs from the backseat, "Y'all clean out the whole mall?"

"We decided that since we were takin so long, might as well load up like pack ponies." Daryl said, and then he nodded to some of the others standing in the doorway of the house. Something about their expressions made him uneasy. "What's goin on? Someone find out Santa's dead or somethin?"

An unusual look was on Merle's face. He grabbed Siobhan's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Sister Sarah's taken sick. Fever and all."

He had more to say, but Siobhan was already bolting for the door, running into the house and up the stairs like the devil was chasing her.

A/N Hola! Better and faster update! Cliffhangers are a necessary evil, and they shall be given and then hopefully attended to in due time. I blame Graciella. She writes this story I have to read and then asks me questions that turn my brain into a bowl of porn pudding. Tasty but not easily forced to work correctly. Ah but, I hope you all like this chapter and the one to follow will be along shortly. A few things…

Thanks for putting the story on your alerts and favs. It makes me so happy and touched. lynn2008, qlara, AnimeOtakuBara, and AlmostAnne, thank you all very much indeed.

Penelope Bacon, oooh I love your icon, Sylvia Ji? Oh and thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I know how busy things can get. I was so pleased to hear from you and I hope you enjoy this chapter… hisses and kisses to you xoxo

Amaya Dixon, sorrrrry for leaving you hanging there, bebe…hope this makes up for it…. I promise the next chapter'll be along shortly and thank you for reading and reviewing. It makes my heart smile.

Graciella Red- peaches and cream, and all things lovely to you, sweetheart. Your reviews and letters cheer me up like sunshine on a fat cat. Also, I am addicted to your story, so there's that, but it's a teensy piece of how grand you are altogether. You've got some magic. I hope you like this chapter, all smexin and sexing…but with some drama too because writers are cruel, cruel mistresses. And if I didn't say so before, I say it now, I love your Merle and your Daryl are toe curling good and make no mistake. I love em and you do them proud. Xoxo Loves.