"Gilbert," Matthew said over his newspaper and breakfast. "You need a job."
Gilbert, who had been about to spear a piece of pancake slathered in maple syrup with his fork, paused and looked up at Matthew.
"What?" said Gilbert.
"You heard me," said Matthew. "A job."
Gilbert sneered. "The awesome me does not need a job! No place is awesome enough for me to work at!"
Matthew sighed. "I'm not asking you to do something boring. Just get a job. We need the extra income."
"But job-hunting takes forever!" Gilbert complained.
Matthew had been prepared for this, and got up from the table. He left the kitchen for a minute and returned with a dart board and some darts. Hanging the board on the wall, he retrieved his newspaper from the kitchen table and pinned the want ads up on the dart board. He handed some darts to Gilbert.
"How come you never told me we had these?" Gilbert mumbled, weighing the darts in his hand. Getting the point as to what he should do, he stood up and stepped away from the wall. He threw the dart.
It missed the newspaper by a few inches and firmly lodged itself into the wall.
Matthew stared in disbelief as Gilbert threw dart after dart, missing the newspaper completely each time. Matthew was about to stop him to protect the rest of his kitchen wall, when Gilbert roared in frustration and ran at the board with the last dart in hand. He drew his arm back and jammed the dart into the board.
Seeming satisfied, Gilbert turned to look at Matthew, who went up to inspect the board. He pulled the dart out of the board and read where it struck out loud.
"Beer taster."
"FUCK YES!"
A/N: This chapter goes out to CommanderApple for planting the idea of "job opportunity" in my head.
First person to guess where I got the idea of choosing a job via darts gets a fic~
Please leave constructive criticism in a review! Flames will be used to heat Russia's house~!
~Jel