CHAPTER 10

"Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known?" –Shakespeare's Macbeth

Fred's room was full of mid-afternoon sunlight coaxing him to wake from a deep sleep as it lit the underside of his tired eyelids a cheery orange. He peeked open his left eye, his ginger eyelashes shimmering in the luminous rays of the sun like polished copper, and blinked rapidly as his ochre eyes adjusted. He wiggled uncomfortably beneath his blanket as he realized his leg was still in a splint. He began turning over to heave his heavy leg off the bed and remove it, but the sight of Edith sleeping peacefully in his bedside chair halted him.

The chair cradled her tiny frame like a mother's arms. Her legs were tucked between the arm rest and her body and her knees rested beside her on the back of the chair. She sat like that often, Fred recalled. Her hair, now so short that it just barely grazed her shoulders, was springy and a little wild from sleeping on it wet after a shower. Her mouth was parted slightly as she breathed evenly and slowly from it. She was the image of an innocent babe, so different from what Fred had seen just the night before.

Not wanting to disturb her, he rested his head back onto his pillows and waited for her to rouse from her dreams. He watched her for the better part of an hour before she showed signs of waking. Edith opened her eyes and found Fred wide awake next her.

"Sleep well?" he asked with a quirky smile on his face.

Edith jumped a little at the exchange, she thought she was dreaming. She couldn't remember falling asleep in the chair. Her legs, neck, and back were a bit stiff as she began stretching. She was a little embarrassed at being found sleeping in such a way.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep here," she replied. Edith sat next to Fred most of the night after she'd prepared for bed. Fred was already asleep when she came in to check on him. She couldn't find it in her to leave his bedside as she watched painful expressions take over his sleeping face. Whether it be nightmares or the pain from his leg, she didn't want him to suffer alone. When he looked particularly uncomfortable, she rubbed his hair just as Mrs. Weasley had when Mr. Weasley and George splinted his leg and she gave him the Skel-O-Grow to mend it, helping him through the pain. She shushed him gently from time to time and hummed a few of her grandfather's melodies to him. He slept much more comfortably after his subconscious registered that he was not alone.

Sometime between three and four in the morning, Edith had found herself reveling in the idea of actually never leaving him which scared her immensely, almost more than the Death Eater who nearly killed them. Edith knew it was all just fantasy, but her heart didn't know the difference. With her feelings growing stronger and stronger for Fred every day, Edith realized she would have to quell the feelings between them before they haunted her for the rest of her life.

Everyone had slept away the morning, and they were all just eating the first meal of the day that afternoon still groggy and shaken from the night before. Mrs. Weasley took Edith aside after the meal, and with tears in her eyes, she kissed Edith right on the forehead. Mr. Weasley and Fred told her how bravely she fought to save their lives even in the face of an Unforgiveable Curse, and Mrs. Weasley bawled her eyes out as she thanked her fervently and held her in a deep embrace. Edith was humble about the whole thing, explaining that anyone with a good heart would've done the same, but it was a terrible lie. In fact, as she fought the Death Eater, even as he tortured her, she knew she had to save Fred even if it meant her dying because this world needed him alive. She needed him alive. He was unequivocally and entirely worthy of living, and Edith would do anything to make sure he lived to see his dreams come true even if it meant she wasn't there to see it. And she wouldn't be. Even though she was alive, she wouldn't be part of his life or his dreams, and she was about to make sure of it.

Fred was making his way back to his room to finish packing his belongings in preparation for their departure to Hogwarts when Edith grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Fancy a broom ride?" she asked with something like sadness in her voice.

Fred looked at her curiously. "Er, sure," he replied a little hesitantly. "Everythin' alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," Edith reassured him as she held onto him and helped him hobble their way through the house and out to the shed. "Lovely day, hm?" she asked trying to shoo away the strange silence between them.

"Yeah, beautiful," Fred said with sarcasm in his voice. "But, I'm having a hard time believing you brought me out here to talk about the weather," he said letting his suspicions be known.

Fred let go of her and turned to face her. "You want to make more small talk or do you want to just get to the point, eh?" he asked. Edith didn't hear any hostility or anger in his voice, just a simple yearning for the truth.

"I should never have come to see you this summer," Edith said suddenly. The words sounded harsh, but Edith couldn't keep them from him anymore or else she'd never find the courage to say them. Edith was having a hard time finding the words, everything was so contradictory as to what she felt and what she thought was the right thing to do. "I know, if I hadn't, you might be dead now, so I'm glad I was here because you're alive because of it, but I can't-," she stopped suddenly. I can't let myself keep falling in love with you, she thought. "I can't visit you next summer, or ever again really," she said, her heart wrenching inside her chest as she finally addressed Fred's invitation from the night before.

"Why not?" he asked with a face masked from emotion.

"Because my life isn't my own," she said, her voice cracking. "There's something I should've told you by now," she continued uneasily. Why was it so hard? It's not like he was in love with her. It's not like she was in love with him. There was nothing there but the feelings of two children rebelling against fate in vain. Their feelings were spurred by the human ambition to defy fate, not by anything else. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

Fred watched her through squinted eyes, a frown planted deeply on his face. Adrian's words tumbled through his thoughts, "She always sees reason and does what she's told, in the end." Fred had hoped he was wrong, but his words were playing out right in front of him.

"Adrian and I, we're-," she began, but Fred interrupted her quickly. "I know," he said firmly.

Edith jerked her gaze toward him. "What?" she asked breathlessly.

"I know about the agreement," he replied. "I know your family loathes mine. I know you have a lot to lose over voiding the contract," he continued. With a look of shame he said, "I know that tomorrow when we board the train, you'll sit with Adrian instead of me. I know that when I wave to you in class or pass you by in the halls, you'll smile back at me and walk right by." Fred looked at her. She was stricken by surprise and anguish at the confession. "I know," he said again.

"If you knew you shouldn't have come this summer, why did you?" he inquired.

Edith sucked in a deep breath as she realized how much she was hurting, and she wondered if Fred felt the same way. "I don't know," she sighed.

"Do you pity me, Edith?" Fred asked as he watched her attentively.

Edith looked surprised at the question. "Why would you ask such a thing?" she shot at him. "And you? Is that why you asked me here? Out of pity?" Edith questioned him forcefully.

"I know I'm a wreck. I know my life isn't what I had hoped it would be, but I'm making the best of it I can. I wish my family were more like yours, but they're not, and I can't change that," she confessed. "Listen, I'm not sorry I came. I'm really glad I did, in fact. You're alive, and I have memories that will stay with me until the day I die," she said with tears in her eyes. "I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful to have met you and your family," she continued as her hot tears fell to the ground. "Do you hate me?" she asked genuinely.

"For what?" Fred asked. "We knew what we were getting ourselves into, and I suppose I've expected you to do this the whole time really. I mean, I asked for it, didn't I?" he pondered out loud. "Who could ever hope a bloke like me would end up with a girl like you?" Fred asked with sarcasm in his voice again as he recited the cliché.

"What do you mean?" Edith asked almost stupidly.

"You're fooling yourself, Edith," Fred told her with blame in his voice. "I-," he started and stuttered. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since the night you strapped me to that damn toilet, to be honest," he blurted out. "I'm not mad at you. I don't hate you. I'm fairly certain I'm in love with you actually," he confessed with a bit of a grin.

The threat of tears encroached upon her again as she listened to Fred say exactly what she hoped he wouldn't. His sad grin hurt her worse than the Cruciatus Curse ever could.

"I knew this was going to happen from the start," he told her honestly. "I guess I've been fooling myself too, but I told you from the beginning, I am whatever you need me to be, so if you need me to be gone, then that's that," he said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't love me, you don't even know me," she defended. She wanted him to be angry with her. She wanted him to blame her. She wanted him to hate her, because if he hated her, she could be okay with letting go of him.

"Don't I?" he asked quickly.

"I don't even know who I really am, so how could you?" she asked pointedly.

"I know who you are, Edith Amelia Ainsley. You were named after your grandmother, born February twenty-second. Your favorite color is lilac. You hum your grandparents' songs when you're sad," he continued.

"That doesn't mean anything," she nearly yelled.

Fred continued in spite of her, "You like chamomile tea with milk and honey. You were scared to fly a broom, but you love quidditch. You pretend to be what everyone else thinks you should be to make friends and please everyone but yourself, but in reality you don't hold onto those people because they don't even know who you really are."

"Stop it!" she said as she began to cry again.

"You're the only girl that's ever tricked me into walking willingly into a revenge prank. You're the girl that almost died to save my life," he said confidently.

"You're a fool, Fred Weasley," she argued quietly as she wiped her face and turned away from him in shame.

"Maybe I am," he said, "but at least I'm not lying to myself."

With that, Fred left her standing there in the yard. He watched her from his bedroom window as she sat there by the shed and hid her face in her hands. He imagined she was humming by then, but he couldn't do anything about it. This was what she wanted. The more Fred interfered, the more painful it would be for them both, and he knew that.

The next day, they boarded the train back to Hogwarts. Edith said her goodbyes to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley knowing it would be the last time she ever saw them again. They were ignorant of all that happened between her and Fred the day before, and as they watched the two of them board the train together, they secretly hoped that next summer she'd come back as Fred's girlfriend.

Fred and Edith had barely spoken since their confrontation, and once they walked through the doors of the Hogwarts Express that September morning, they went their separate ways. Their compartment doors sliding shut with a "click" and just like that, they resigned themselves to living without the other as best they could.

A/N

In celebration of PTF's first anniversary, here's another chapter!

I can't seem to stop myself. I should definitely be working on my assignments, but here I am posting another chapter. Most all of my chapters run from 2,000 to about a max of 5,000 words. I had a few comments about the last chapter being a hair short, but really it averages the same as 80% of the story. My longest chapters being 4 and 5, I think. I apologize if they feel short, but as a fanfic reader myself, I enjoy stories that are a bit more condensed. I'm also working on a plot outline for a part 2 to this story, in case anyone was wondering.

The Yule Ball is coming, by the way, which means drama and angst and lovely bits of romance. So for those who are looking for longer chapters, be on the lookout for a 4,000 to 5,000 word chapter in the works coming soon!

As always, I can't thank you enough for your support.

Happy reading,

A Lonely Silhouette