The moment Elena left the house, Bonnie rushed towards the phone in the kitchen.

"You wouldn't believe who just paid a visit!" said Bonnie enthusiastically through the phone.

"Umm … who? I don't know …" mumbled Jeremy in a sleepy voice as he laid on his bed.

"Elena!" Jeremy's eyes, no longer closed and overpowered with sleep, shot open. "What happened? What did you talk about?"

"It went very well. You know, Jer? I totally misjudged everything!" she took a breath, and continued. "I just freaked out when I saw Elena this morning so straight forward and held together … You know? … She's still herself, she's still Elena … just shutting off the pain of losing yet another family member…"

"Wow… You did a one hundred eighty in less than 12 hours! Who are you, and what did you do to Bonnie Bennett?" Jeremy laughed using a Harry Potter quote coming out of Ron Weasley's mouth.

Bonnie chuckled a little bit before answering: "I still think it's an unnatural thing to do, but who am I kidding? I said my goodbyes to normalcy long ago… Anyway, I found a book that was in the possession of grams, today…"

She took once again a deep breath in preparation of what was to come, but after looking at the old fashioned clock hanging on the wall, she took the easy way out and decided to postpone their talk to the morning.

"Umm … It was interesting, but I'll tell you about it tomorrow. It's kind of late and I'm so tired."

"Yeah yeah, it's alright. You need to rest; you're going to need your strength."

Jeremy was relieved to hear that Bonnie was no longer against awakening Silas, and was pretty much sure it had something to do with what she found in that book.

"Are you alone, or is Matt there with you?" asked Bonnie, worry evident in her voice.

"No, I'm alone but I don't need to be babysat." Jeremy wasn't trying to be harsh, but he was pretty much in control of his urges now. He doesn't need Bonnie's company just because she thinks he's a loose cannon.

"I know" Bonnie said gently. "… If you want some company then you're welcome to come to grams' house. I just finished going through all the grimoirs in here, and I just want to sleep."

"Nah …You just rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay … Goodnight, Jer. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight." Jeremy replied.

Elena was happy that she was only a few steps away from getting Damon back. Elena Gilbert was no quitter, and she was not near being one, not now, not ever. She went after what she wanted, and didn't take no for an answer. She gave up seeking her friend's collaboration temporarily, that day just to go check with Shane and look for ways to kill Silas, thus put her friend's worries at ease and use her magic to open the tomb. And guess what? She made it!

After her talk with the witch, she went straight to the boarding house like she has been doing for almost a month. Normally she would come back from the surroundings of the lake house at around midnight, and would, for a lack of a better word, sneak into the boarding house, expanding her hearing to know exactly where the younger Salvatore was in order to avoid his presence.

This time, however, Elena found the house empty, so she took advantage of Stefan's absence to go to the basement without bothering to keep quiet and get a couple of blood bags that she carried with her to the parlor. As she sat in the armchair where she was seated in two of her most painful memories, she went over both of them.

The first time, she had just witnessed the loss of her first true love. She had just lost him before her eyes, when he flipped the switch, and Damon was there by her side promising to be always there. He has always put his feelings aside to tend to her needs.

The second one was when a crying Stefan, told her what happened back in the lake house. While pouring blood in one of the many glasses Damon keeps next to his bourbon, Elena started remembering how she gotthe news.

[Flashback]

Stefan was late and she was impatiently waiting for him to come while worrying about what might have happened. He told her in the text message she received that Bonnie wanted to tell her about something but is otherwise preoccupied, so he'll be the one reporting the news. The only person on Elena's mind was Jeremy. Has something happened to him? Was he okay?

She never thought Damon would be the one in harm's way, because he has always made it through every situation.

She poured herself a glass of bourbon while waiting for Stefan.

[that was the last time she touched Damon's stash of liquor. She vowed to herself not to waste his precious drink, until he's by her side and able to complain about it – it was only fair.]

When Stefan came through the door, she was just finishing recording a voice mail for Damon asking him to tell her what happened.

On his way to the boarding house, Stefan was trying to get through his mind that his brother was gone ... he didn't have one last family member, one last brother, one last person to sacrifice everything for: he didn't have one last Damon. Stefan didn't even have the time for one last fight with him, to have one last chance for them to be brothers…

He couldn't believe that he had just seen his brother's grey body.

He couldn't believe that he was about to drop the news to Elena, when he couldn't seem to absorb the news himself...

Stefan didn't care if Damon slept with her. He didn't even care if she's sired to him! His brother was supposed to stay so that he could fight with him over it.

That's how it was supposed to be, but despite all of it, Stefan knew nothing mattered if Damon wasn't there.

How could anything matter now? He couldn't even bring himself to run to Elena and make it in time. His legs felt numb. Actually, he was feeling numb. Shock hadn't left his system just yet, which is, probably why he hadn't been able to produce any tears.

All too soon Stefan had reached the front porch of the boarding house and he knew there was no going back, because Damon was … dead. And that's when all the feelings of loss hit him full force. He rushed inside as if he was going to leave those torturing feelings at the door step if he only moved quickly. Elena stood up immediately from her seat, and tears finally started to form in his eyes with each step she made towards him.

Then he remembered that he was not the only one who lost a person today, she had too …

He couldn't keep eye contact with her when she came close and asked him what was happening in a broken whisper.

"Damon …" Stefan managed to say through his tight throat.

"What does it have to do with Bonnie? Did he do something to piss her off? They were going along just fine yesterday..."

It was obvious to him that Elena was keeping herself from interpreting the tears in his eyes. So, in order to set her free from her unspoken doubts, Stefan blurted out with tears flowing down his cheeks.

"Damon is dead! There has been an accident! Jeremy, he lost control." He told her, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Reporting the news to Elena, saying the words out loud was not the perfect medicine like everyone claims. It didn't set him free as there was no magical solution! He was not going to wake up from this nightmare, because, at the end of the day, it's his reality.

Elena didn't seem to accept it, but that was to be expected.

"No … No …" She objected calmly as looking around her, as if waiting for someone to pop out of nowhere and inform her that it was a cruel joke, that her love had never left them.

"Stefan! You should stop crying because Damon isn't gone, and he won't appreciate that you wrote him off from the earth's surface easily!" Elena scolded after a moment of thought.

She was so confident and serious that Stefan would have believed her, if he hadn't known better. He saw it with his own eyes, his brother was gone!

The look of defiance in Elena's eyes worried him as he didn't want to break the wall of denial she built around her, fearful it would hurt her too much, but Stefan was no fool and knew he couldn't afford letting her live in some parallel world until her mind is ready. The girl needed to accept it there and then, or else she'll hurt even more when she finally sees clear, and that would led to more emotional damage…the type of damage that could drive her to shut it all off.

So he gently took her by the shoulders and mentally prepared himself for the worst.

"I'm sorry Elena, but you need to realize that he's gone. I am telling you, he is gone. Ask Bonnie or anyone… My brother …" It was at that moment that Stefan stopped speaking, breaking down for the first time in his life.

He has never cried or sobbed like he had in that moment. He hadn't even payed attention nor noticed Elena's reaction.

Stefan's straight forward and awakening speech knocked all the breath from her lungs, forcing her to the ground. She didn't know how long she sat there at Stefan's feet dumbfounded, but she does know that she picked herself from the ground the minute she realized she had the strength to stand up, headed to his room, where she decided to rest and try to sleep.

She had stayed awake for the whole night, hoping against hope, as she waited for Damon to respond to her voice mails; when the sun shone through the open curtains, Bonnie called to see how she was doing, yet she couldn't pronounce more than an 'I'm okay', because she just wasn't in the mood to talk about any of it. Bonnie wished her luck, and told her she'd come soon to see her, but Elena couldn't keep listening to her, so she hung up as she didn't need her to come over.

Elena felt lost and alone, but everything felt surreal, she had no energy to cry or shout and had even lost the will to get out of bed. His smell was still on the sheets, and that alone was her personal heaven.

She couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that her dark-haired vampire was never ever going to join her in that room again, yet she was too exhausted to even think about what exactly she had lost, so she closed her eyes once again, and filled her little nose with his scent.

She didn't know how much time had passed when she heard Stefan knock on the door, and just like the brainless vampire that she was, she had hoped it would be him. Of course it wasn't, because he was gone! Besides, he would have never knocked; instead he would have tried to sneak up on her. When she felt a rush of emotion flowing through her whole being trying to break free, hurting her chest, she stopped her thoughts right there, and focused on her surrounding, instead.

Stefan, from behind the door, was waiting for an answer that wasn't going to come. As if expecting her not to respond, he just started talking.

"Umm … Are you fine in there? … I just wanted to let you know that there would be a funeral … Um… Caroline and I are taking care of the organization. Anyway, it'll be tomorrow along with the Mayor's… Just so that you're ready… I'll go now, but you should come out."

The word 'funeral' kept ringing in her ears. Elena hadn't thought about it before and was surely not going to start now. So she threw Damon's sheet over her, and prayed for sleep to take control, but it never came. The lost vampire's mind was blank which she was utterly thankful for because she didn't have to go through the torture of thinking about what was happening out there nor about Damon's body being buried six feet underground.

Despite sleep never coming, she didn't notice time passing until her surroundings turned dark. As if being programmed, she left the bed along with his scent to take a shower. Not willing to get rid of his scent from her body, Elena used his soap. Instead of going to sleep, she found herself standing for god knows how long under the jet of a shower that probably turned cold long before she had noticed.

Getting out of the shower, she dried her body and, not bothering with doing the same for her hair, put on one of Damon's shirt and lied down on the bed once again. Elena noticed that she stopped feeling time, the only thing she was aware of was her weakness and tiredness. She was waiting for nothing but the relief and bless coming along with sleep.

After another sleepless night, Elena's senses awakened by a knocking on the door, and from what she could tell, it was Bonnie. Not having enough strength or will to make a sound, Elena closed her eyes, and waited for her friend to go away.

Feeling like Caroline was next to come, Elena moved reluctantly to close the door using the key that was kept on his nightstand. As predicted, the blond vampire was at her door soon enough. After arguing with a Stefan about whether she should knock first or just barge in on her depressed friend, Caroline whispered: "'Lena, honey! You need to get dresses because we are heading to Umm ... the funeral."

As she didn't get any response, she said in a tone reserved for spoiled children only. "I brought you a dress!"

After waiting for more than five minutes which is a huge accomplishment for Caroline, she said in an exasperated voice:"I can your breathing! Elena, just open the freaking door! You can't stay in there forever, and you can't keep me from coming in! I swear I will break the door!"

However, Elena wasn't paying any particular attention to her friend's voice, but soon got her undivided attention when she started her turning the door's handle.

"Stop!" Elena shouted as loud as she could, thus using her voice for the first time since Bonnie's phone call; it didn't come out that loud.

Naturally, Caroline stopped and waited for the door to open, which Elena didn't.

"I need to give you the dress 'Lena." Caroline sighed. "Look, Damon would've wanted you to be present! Come on…"

Elena's cold and dead body lit up with a fire she didn't feel inflaming her whole being since he tried, and succeeded, in driving her away from him.

"How Dare you talk in his behalf? How dare you? How dare you talk like you would know? How dare you?" Elena snapped angrily - she didn't want to hear about his funeral … she didn't want to hear anything anyone has to say. her anger was suffocating her, and brought tears to her eyes, which she didn't know the reason behind. They were flowing without her consent.

"Caroline, LEAVE!" Shouted Elena and left using the window, not wanting to hear her reply.

Shelet her feet guide her and payed attention to nothing around; she only snapped from her oblivious state when human blood made its way to her unsuspecting nostrils. She spotted a man a few feet away from her and began to feel hungry for the first time. Elena looked around and realized she was in the cemetery. This is where all her loved ones rest, and she didn't want to risk killing anyone in their presence. So, the starved vampire ran as far as she could from the man who was probably visiting a loved one of his own, but came to a halt, smelling a wave of different blood smells. Turning in the direction from where the wind was blowing, she recognized her friends. They were all wearing black, leaving a freshly done grave along with a wave of people

. They kept walking untill they reached a black coffin a few feet away. Alarmed she ran to hide behind a tree. No one noticed her, as they stood in a line two feet away from Damon. She watched them as they said their goodbyes unformally.

Elena was surprised to see that her friends shed a few tears. She saw her ... brother crying. He was a wreck. His body was convulsing with unheard sobs. The sight of her brother weakened her in the knees, and had to lean on the large tree that was hiding her body... She watched at the black box disappeard before her watery eyes.

Elena lost her senses at the sight before her sharp eyes, because she knew what this was and what it meant. She knew it was going to happen and that he would have to be buried at some point but somehow, I failed to get it through my thick skull…

Thank you for reading!

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