Holy Moly! What an Episode..can we have 2 hours every week? Toby and Happy,HOLY CRAP! I don't know who I should be mad at, Walter and Paige! Walt what you playing at pal! And go Papa Cabe, you speak the truth despite the hurt.
Tim...I still want to kick you on your ass..even if Walter was an ass. Ugh! roll on Oct 10th!
She stood at the door at her apartment,unlocking the door then turning to Toby,"You want to come in for a drink, Doc?"
He wasn't looking at her awkwardly shuffling when he did look up he had rolled his bottom lip into his mouth and had his hands in his pockets, "er, I won't tonight Hap, but i'll see you tomorrow, ok?"
He took a few steps back, giving an half wave before descending the stairs back out of her building. It had gone really well she thought, but there was that little clench of fear in her stomach. What if he had now realised he didn't want to pursue her any more, having succeeded on having taking her out, what if it were the chase that kept him interested. She didn't know how she would handle such a thing, she was really settling into the idea of a relationship with that lunatic.
She had been made to watch the air sucked from his lungs, he had been dead at her feet and she had,had to be the one to resuscitate him. Her heart clenched, what if she hadn't been there?,what if Walter had been alone. Would Toby still have be here now? in that moment she had the realisation of her true feelings for him, and in the same moment he had reminded her why she had so many reasons to turn her back on those feelings. But the bell had been rung, loud and clear. There was no going back in her hearts desire.
She lay in bed the whole night, the tight knot settled in her stomach never loosening.
The next morning she had showered and found herself being a little more selective in her clothing, something that had never bothered her much before. But she wanted to look good today, and smell good too, she dabbed some of the perfume from the previous night back behind her ears,maybe it would provide a positive reminder how how lovely the night before had been.
His head popped up as soon as she entered, she saw his eye widen and his visible gulp as his adam's apple bobbed. She felt the smirk twitch at the corner of her mouth, still got it. She headed over to her bench as his chair wheels gave an audible rumble as it was pushed back. She had expected to have him come straight over, sniffing around her as he usually did, the fact he headed straight towards Sly confused her. She felt a few of his flickering glances which soothed the mild insecurity that reared it's head, but usually she was trying to get him to bugger off so she could get some work done .The fact that had purposely avoided her this morning, it had her light and bursting heart, deflating.
The entirety of the day she watched him, how he kept his distance, how when she suggested the pair of them picking up lunch he had bit his lip and shook his head, she had taken Sly instead, tried to get a better idea as to what was going on with him, if he had maybe confided in Sly as to how the date had went from his standpoint. From what she could gather, Toby appeared to have said nothing to him about last nights adventure. Hadn't even said he was with her.
Toby had taken her to movie, one that he knew she had wanted to see, staying silent the entire time. He then took her to dinner, not as fancy as their first attempt, but she liked that. She felt more comfortable, which in turn eased her initial nerves. Her heart had fluttered madly when he put his jacket around her as they had exited to return to the car, how he had put his hand upon her back. She had asked that nothing be said to the team, just yet. And he had agreed wholeheartedly but she hadn't expected this level of avoidance, if anything it would probably make the team all the more suspicious. If there had only been a case as to draw her attention away from the infuriating psychiatrist.
The day ended sooner than she had expected, they were sent home by 4. When she said her goodbyes, he barely raised his head in her direction. Had she done something wrong?
She had just settled for the evening having spent the rest of the afternoon at her Dad's garage, he had known something was up when he observed the intensity of which she worked on a car of which he had been having difficulty with, He didn't ask any questions, just let her work. She was grateful for the similarities between them, he knew she needed her space and he gave her it. The moment she walked through her door she had already half way taken off her make up, she had immediately changed into her comfiest clothes and curled up on her sofa when there was a knock on the door, she opened it to a rather twitchy Toby.
He fiddled with the hat in his hands, "Hey"
"Hi"she greeted his cautiously, unsure about his unannounced arrival. The back of her neck prickled at his state of tension, she had a bad feeling about this sudden appearance.
He sucked in a breath, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels awkwardly. "can I come in?"
aw crap. "yeah,sure, come in." she moved out of the doorway to let him in.
He stepped inside, looking around as if it were the first time he had seen it, she closed the door silently. Just standing waiting for him to say something. Or do something. The awkwardness was becoming too much for her,she suddenly found herself speaking, purely to fill the awkward silence of the situation "do you want a beer?"
she appeared to have pulled him from his thoughts "Eh? No, no i'm ok, thanks" he was chewing on his lip anxiously.
She eventually became sick of him just standing there like a gooseberry. She gave a sharp sigh of the breath she was holding, "what is it you came to say Toby?"
He took pause, measuring what it was he wanted to say, Happy was beginning to feel sick.
"Happy,i just need to say that whilst last night was great, and believe me,you were stunning, but..."
And there it was, Happy's heart sunk to her feet. She had worked so hard to lower her shields, to let him in and now he goes and does this. She felt her defences begin to rebuild once more to protect her heart from the damage that was about to be inflicted.
He had removed his hands from his pockets and was now expressing with them, in typical Toby fashion "Happy, you can't do that to me!.."
She was confused, had she been so far in her own head she had missed something?
She squinted, trying to fill in the blanks.
"..your gorgeous in whatever you wear, and you have to know I find you extremely sexy no matter what you wear, but i'm never going to be able to get any work done at all if you are all, you know.." He gestured to all of her.
She blinked trying to gather what it was he was saying "what?"
"the clothes, the make up. The jeans Happy! Do you have any idea how hard it was to form a coherent thought from the point in which you dropped that screw 10 feet from my desk and bent to pick it up!" he was gesturing wildly now
"they're new"
"I know that, and I totally respect your right to where whatever you want and not be sexualised, but... " he just gaped at a loss for words,gesturing to her form once more.
Realisation began to dawn, the constriction of her chest was suddenly no more,she could breathe again. She smiled at him in relief.
"So you aren't rethinking us?, You weren't avoiding me?"
He sputtered in absurdity of the thought, "no, no! Why would you think that?"
she scoffed in return, "Because you didn't come in last night and when I walked in this morning you looked like you were staring down the barrel of a gun"
Toby, muttered to himself,but Happy heard the words under his breath "something was cocked that's for sure"
she took a step towards him, trying to meet his eyes and hold down her grin, "what?"
Toby exhaled sharply, rolling his eyes and muttering something Happy didn't catch before he swung his gaze to match hers. He stuck his hands back into his pockets, raising his shoulders.
"Happy, coming in last night.. I knew it may have resulted in me jumping the gun, so to speak, and I promised I was going to go slow at this, for you. The thought of so much as kissing you last night was a risk of my will power I was not about to take. I don't want to push to hard to fast, I don't want to put you in an awkward position if you are not ready so..." he closed the distance, taking her hands, his voice soft and low "I'm going to do it right this time."
She shook her head at him, "Toby, I'm not trying to keep you on a short leash here, if you were to move to fast, I would tell you. Please don't handle me with kid gloves in fear of making a mistake. We're grown ups remember, we are capable of communication..mostly" she smiled at him trying to lighten things between them.
He gave her a small laugh and a smile in one corner "ok, ok, but you promise to tell me if I get ahead of myself?"
she held up the three fingers on her right hand "scouts honour"
he smirked and quirked and eyebrow, looking at her dubiously, "you were never a girl scout"
she gave him a smile, "no, but I wanted to be for a while"
he looked surprised "really?"
her cheeks flushed a little "yeah, I wanted to be a girl scout as a kid"
he placed his hands on her hips "well our kids can be in as many activity clubs as they want"
she looked up into his face eyebrow raised "you testing me right now?"
"..no.."
"you won't live to see a second date, if you try that"
he motioned to zip and padlock his lips humouring her.
She gave a mock sigh,"if only that was an actual possibility, sleep with one eye open pal, you may have just given me an idea"
he just rolled his eyes beaming at her, he saw the thought form in his eyes before he lifted his hand to tip her jaw, pausing to give her a chance to move away. When her only move was to raise herself up onto her tip toes, he took it as his cue to move in, softly brushing his lips against hers, he went to pull back only to find himself forcibly pulled back in by Happy's hands in his hair.
She had moved them to the couch, straddling his hips, testing his pain threshold by pulling on his hair, biting and nipping at his lips and skin. She could cover the marks for him in the morning, they were tomorrows issue. She was enthralled by how he would give a hiss but his hips would spasm against her, his fingers delving deeper into her flesh. So pain was a kink of his, she could work with that.
"so you like those jeans", she nipped at his ear, his breathing catching
he gave a low chuckle, running his hands across her backside, "I love those jeans" he moved to kiss her jaw, smiling at how she shivered as his scruff brushed against her neck, "just not when I'm wearing tight pants at work"
she gave low chuckle "I've still to stretch them out a bit,they did feel a bit tight... sounds like yours were a bit tight too, Doc"
He pulled her impossibly closer, grinding up into her "You have no idea, and paired with that low top.. dammit,when you bent over asking if I wanted to pick up lunch... there was no chance I was going to be able to stand the hell up from that desk.
She laughed heartedly, "I would have taken it as a compliment"
"I don't think the rest of the team would have agreed"
"probably not" she let herself just sit in his lap for a while whilst their breathing slowed, studying his features, running her pointer finger over the contours and lines of his face "so you really did want to come in last night?"
he gazed right back at her rubbing circles on her hip bones, "of course I did Hap. I spent all last night thinking of what its is you might have been doing. The thought of you stepping out of your shoes, peeling off your dress, running yourself a bath, the thought of the water running down your body" he traced a finger down the line of her throat, following it down to her sternum, he lent forward as to place soft kisses down her neck as if picking up the droplets from his thoughts.
The frisson Happy experienced from the action,the goosebumps rising at the feeling of his warm breath heating up her skin,the intensity had her eyes fluttering shut, as her head fell back, she let out an involuntary high pitched moan. She felt the vibrating rumble of his chuckle as he kissed along her collar bone, running his nose all the way back up to plant a kiss underneath her ear.
It took her a moment to regain her coherency, her head was swirling. He just watched her as she blinked and eventually regained full function of her ability to balance as his hands held her steady. She realised that she most likely looked like a stunned bunny, he give her a sly smirk "You ok there?" she wasn't yet confident enough in her ability to speak so resorted to giving him a slow nod.
She just allowed herself to relax against his chest when he broke the silence between them by quietly announcing "I had better go"
she sat up trying not to make it evident how much she hated the very idea. "why?" He cocked a brow at her, "because as much as I love how cuddly you are being," she blushed at the truth in his words "we have work tomorrow and showing up in today's clothes might be a little unprofessional." she tried to appear off hand with a resolution, "you could just swing by your place before work..." he gave her a soft smile, touching her lower lip as it jutted out in what was most defiantly not a pout. "there will be time for that, but this is not it, not just yet sweetheart let me take you out on a few more dates first" she played with the collar of his tee, "but we know each other already, its not like we are starting out as complete strangers here. Toby,I don't want to wait any longer. I want to dive into this head first"
He placed his hands upon her shoulders, "and I am really happy you feel that way, but as I said. I don't want to screw this up, not this time. So we are going to do this right, let me do this right." She understood what he was saying, didn't mean she liked it.
She gave a long frustrated sigh,how did an evening of heavy making out, which she had the full intention of taking so much further, result in her waving Toby off as he left her building, for the second night in a row.
She had let him take her out twice more and it was equally as lovely and they got to know each other better in a deeper sense, but now he was coming over to make dinner with her, and he wasn't going to be leaving. She had a plan for tonight and she was going to make it stick. They had waited long enough.
He came over after work, making only a stop for the nights grocery's, Happy changed into her favourite underwear before quickly shoving on her leggings and pulling back on a Hoodie of his she had 'borrowed' years ago, one that she didn't ever really plan on giving back, only now did she really realise why. She was home when she was with him and she found that he was in fact quieter when he was alone with her, Like she grounded him too. She sat down on her sofa with a smile and patiently waited for Toby to arrive.
Happy was half way through the latest motor magazine when Toby came in though the door bags of groceries balanced precariously in his arms "Ok! tonight we have chicken alfredo and garlic bread...but thinking of what tonight might involve that may have been a bad idea."
She got up to help him unpack his shopping, "you have ideas for tonight?"
he blushed a little, she found it oddly cute, "er, well kissing on the sofa is how our evenings together usually end, so why would tonight be any different" the off handedness of his comment cemented the knowledge that what she had planned for tonight, was going to be well received. He was ready for the next step too. He gave her a side glance before adding quietly "I brought ice cream and red wine too if that's of any interest". She bit her lip before pulling his belt to have him face her, "girl can never complain about ice cream and red wine. You bring any chocolate sauce?"
she saw his Adams apple bob as she held his gaze before he responded his voice cracking like that of a teenagers "I,I think there's..eh, some left in the cupboard from last time"
She grinned like the Cheshire cat as she responded "good." with a purr before reaching up pulling his lips to hers with enough drive it made Toby's toes curl.