I'm soooo sorry for not updating earlier, school's been insane, so insane even that i've had to push back my graduation for an entire year (okay i could have gone for 6 months but i want to go on holiday in september...) I know it's been way toooo long since i updated this story but today i finally got some real inspiration for it again and finally finished this chapter. i hope you like it.
because i wanted to get this chapter out to all of you as fast as i could now that i had it written, it has not been beta-ed or preread by my friend, so just read over the grammar and spellings mistakes, thanks...

Hope you enjoy :D

Chapter 9 – Hidden Messages

Even after I had told Edward about the new version of my dreams, they didn't change. Actually even the gigantic teddy bear that was wearing a shirt that said "Emmett" didn't change them either. I now locked my window; the last thing I wanted was for Edward to find me dreaming again. Of course it would be even worse if I were to wake up and find him there. Being upset tended to make me spill my guts and that was one thing I could no longer do with Edward. My feelings would stay hidden just like Aro's letter. My feelings for Edward that had started the day I told him about my dreams, hadn't changed. I did my best to push them away, to not think of him at all. Worst of all was when both Jasper and Edward were near me. Edward might not have been able to hear my thoughts but Jasper would surely notice my feelings. So I had started to avoid them, especially when they were together which, lucky for me, wasn't often.

It helped that I could now drive myself to school, not that the Cullens agreed with that.

"Why would you drive yourself when you can ride with us?" Alice had asked.

I had given some silly excuse of standing on my own two feet. They had bombarded me with reasons to ride with them; pollution, lack of speed and of course that the truck was, according to them, too ugly to benefit my image. But I had kept to my word and driven myself to school from the day I legally could. One of the Cullens would still always ride with me, even if the slow pace bored them to the brink of death (lucky them that even boredom can't end their existence). They were afraid the truck would break down in the middle of nowhere or that I, with my slow human reflexes, would get into an accident.

So far I was still lucky enough that Edward drove his Volvo everyday and the others rotated on driving with me. But for some reason my luck changed.

"Let's go," Edwards' voice came from down the stairs. I faced myself with shock on my face as I looked in the mirror. I quickly brushed my hair and headed downstairs, hoping that I could control the emotions that showed on my face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I saw him sitting in the small kitchen.

"Rosalie wanted to drive," he explained.

"The Mercedes?" I asked appalled by the thought of the car.

"Yeah, so much for trying to fit in here," he laughed. "Did you eat yet?"

"No, but we're running late." I took a granola bar out of a cabinet and headed for the door. So far, so good, all I had to do was not think about who I was talking to, who was about to sit next to me. Right, as if I could shut down my brain for that long. I started my truck and it came alive with a loud roar. I liked the sound, no I loved the sound, I thought it gave ample warning to those who knew of my clumsiness to prepare for my arrival.

"I don't remember you being this quiet on our drives to school," Edward commented.

"I like it, it gives me some extra time to wake up," I answered, keeping myself focused on the road.

"Does your radio work yet?"

"No, Rose has been working on the engine I think, she believes it's the most important part of the car," I replied. "Why are you so in need of sound? I thought you might enjoy the quiet for once."

"It's too quiet, I'm not used to it any more," he shrugged.

"Well, look at that. An unnerved vampire," I smiled and mistakenly let my eyes wander to him. He was smiling at me, apparently he thought I had made a good joke. But now I couldn't take my eyes away from him anymore. I'm sure I stared at him dreamily. He always looked so good, I loved his messy hair and his golden eyes.

"Shit Bella!" Edward exclaimed as he took hold of the wheel of the car and jerked it to the left. "Pay attention to the road, this is exactly why one of us is always riding with you!"

We missed a tree on the side of the road, only barely. I mentally scolded myself, how could I have been so stupid to do the exact thing I told myself I wouldn't?

The moment Edward had yelled at me I had taken my foot of the gas and we now rolled to a stop at the side of the road. Edward was still holding the wheel, steering from the passengers' seat.

I blinked several times, trying to get my focus back from him to the road.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I got it now," and placed my foot back on the gas and my hands back on the wheel. After that I got us to school safely.

Though by the time our biology class came around I knew that my day was definitely not going to get any easier.

"The papers I'm handing out," Mr Banner spoke, "will explain to you what this weeks' project is all about. Now I want to be able to see that both partners did an equal amount of work on this. And yes, I will be able to tell when this isn't the case," he warned.

My eyes flicked to Edward's as I couldn't believe that now, right now, Mr Banner had to choose to make us do projects. Why couldn't he have thought of that before I started to see Edward as more than a friend or an older brother?

Edward smiled at me, sure for him this would be a walk in the park (a sunless walk in the park) but for me it would be pure torture. There was no way that I could escape being around him now and then there was still the problem of focussing when he was around. I tried to smile back, though I'm not sure I could properly hide the fear I felt for the upcoming time we had to spend together.

"So, how much of this project am I doing?" I asked Edward as I met him at my car to drive to his house. I walked straight to the drivers-side of the car and didn't even look at him.

"Half, at least," Edward said getting into the passenger-seat.

"Can't you do it while I sleep?" I asked, I hadn't even read the assignment yet, but spending time with Edward would not help my situation, especially if I wanted to keep him in the dark about my feelings.

"No, it really requires both of us to work on it. Why are you so unwilling to work on this project with me?" Edward inquired. I focused my eyes on the road. He couldn't read my mind, but sometimes he was so perceptive that it almost seemed like he could.

Keeping my eyes away from him made it easier to come up with a quick lie. "It has nothing to do with you, I just don't feel like working on a project is all."

"Are you sure that is it or have you already started on the project and are right now collecting data, using me as a lab rat?" Edward asked. I felt his gaze on me, as if he was studying my behaviour.

"I don't know what you're talking about Edward, I haven't even read the assignment yet," I told him as I drove up the Cullens' driveway.

"You sure about that?" Edward asked again.

"Yeah, pretty sure." I drove my truck up to the house and got out, ending our little banter. I had no idea what Edward was talking about, me starting on a project before I even got home. The thought of doing any homework what-so-ever before I had relaxed for at least an half an hour was just nuts.

Half an hour later, right on cue really, Edward walked into the livingroom, where I was relaxing on the couch, watching some stupid daytime TV. He let a piece of paper float down into my lap, like the leaves floated from the trees in the fall.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Read and find out," he grinned. I tore my eyes away from his face and focussed them on the piece of paper. It was the biology project. I swallowed hard as I read it, was this a painful joke? The main question for our project stood in bold in the dead centre of the piece of paper:

Who is better at intercepting and interpreting hidden messages, men or women?

Silent hints, a quick movement of the eye or an almost inaudible sound. We all use these hidden messages to try to convey certain feelings or thoughts to others but often they are misinterpreted or missed completely. Research what sex is more adapt at understanding these hidden messages.

In other words, Edward would now be on the look out for any hidden messages that I might make, even if I make them unwillingly. Crap.

"Lovely," I smiled weakly.

"I think the guys are going to win," Edward said. "Cause I totally caught that message. Why don't you like the assignment?"

So my acting needed some work, quickly. I smiled at Edward, well I actually looked over his head so that his face wouldn't distract me. "Actually Edward, I think the guys are going to lose, cause you just completely misinterpreted that message. The hidden message was sarcastic, making the spoken message the actual message. In other words I do like the assignment," I said quickly, adding a, what I hoped to be, sincere smile at the end of my little speech. Edward looked confused, good. "I'm going to get something to drink," I added swiftly and almost darted out of the room, before Edward could catch me in another unwillingly send hidden message. This project was going to be hell, complete and total hell.

"Hey Bella," a voice made me freeze in mid-step as I walked into the kitchen. This was not good, I had avoided this situation for almost a month, but here it was. My mind was still reeling from Edward and here was Jasper sensing the crazy emotions roaming through my body. I swallowed and steadily walked to the fridge, grabbing a coke before turning back to Jasper. I tried to play dumb as I saw him scrutinising my emotions, but I was pretty sure it was a lost cause.

"What's up Jasper?" I smiled.

"I was about to ask you the same thing, you are all over the place," he answered.

"I'm fine, really great," that's what I said, but I'm pretty sure the hidden message I was portraying was something like this 'please don't notice, please don't realise, please don't think, please hide your thoughts, please please please'.

And not a second later I was really in for it and so was Jasper as Edward walked into the room and my eyes automatically sought his. Though his presence calmed me and took away some of my more distracting feelings, it also made one feeling stronger than any other. Jasper's eyes grew large for less than a second as he realised my feelings for Edward. All I could do was hope that Edward hadn't noticed.

We were all silent for what seemed like minutes, but were probably only seconds. The tension in the room was thick but I wasn't sure with what. I caught a glimpse between Edward and Jasper, and it almost seemed as if Edward was asking Jasper not to say anything. I had to get out of there before Edward would be able to read my emotions through Jasper.

"I need some fresh air," I blurted out before I quickly made my way out the backdoor. I was afraid someone would follow me, ask me for an explanation but no one came. I needed to be in full control of myself before I went back inside. I needed to be in control of my breathing, of my emotions, my thoughts and even my unconscious actions. Nothing about me could show how I really felt and what I really thought. When I finally went back inside Jasper was still sitting at the kitchen counter. He looked up slowly as he heard the door close behind me. He smiled knowingly. I wanted to ask him if he had let Edward know and what he thought I should do but I couldn't. I couldn't ask him anything, because if I spoke everyone in the house would hear. Stupid vampire-hearing. Completely unexpected, Jasper rose from his seat and gently hugged me. I knew how much effort it took him to be around me, even to be in the same room, and knowing that made this gesture all the more meaningful. Jasper knew what I was feeling and how little I could do about it. As he let me go, there was a small hint in his eyes of something that I couldn't quite place, it almost seemed happy. I didn't understand his hidden message and so I let it go. Better to not understand than to misinterpret.

Okay so lay it on me, i'll understand if you send me hate mail for not updating for so long and i will really really try to update again soon but i can't make any promises.
please review, let me know what you think and once again i'm really really sorry for taking so long with updating.