Hindsight

Summary: "Ten years," James whispered to his wife. "We've been dead for Ten years… how is this possible?" Ten years after the tragedy at Godric's Hollow, James and Lily come back to life and find their world turned upside down.

Chapter 10

Sirius, upset that anyone had seen him in such a state, refused to come out of his room for an entire day. To their chagrin, when he finally did come out it was as a dog. Padfoot refused all but Harry. He followed the boy around faithfully, taking time to nuzzle or lick the spot that he had scratched in the midst of his episode. Harry, taking pity on his godfather, would set Sirius' plate on the floor for him during meals and take him to more secluded areas of the house when James or Remus looked like they were about to force him out of his animagus form.

"I get it," Harry had told him simply one day when they were sitting on the grass outside. "They didn't want me to know but I eavesdropped on one of their conversations. I know what it's like to be locked up. Drives you mad, doesn't it?"

Padfoot huffed but laid his head on Harry's lap. It was true. Harry was quite possibly the only one who understood. On a milder level, he had also been trapped in a cell with only monsters as company.

And that was how it went for a full week. Padfoot would stay in Harry's room, sleep at his feet at night and act as his shadow during the day.

Harry had thought Sirius would stay a dog forever if he didn't pretend he twisted his ankle during one of their walks. Making sure Padfoot wasn't paying attention, Harry dropped down to the ground and grabbed at his leg, crying out in pain. In a panic, Sirius turned human immediately and carried him back to the house, hollering for Lily and Remus. He just sat Harry on the kitchen counter when James stumbled into the room looking quite harassed.

"What's happening?"

"He tripped or fell or something!" Sirius wailed guiltily like he'd broken Harry's leg himself. "He says he's twisted it."

"Does it hurt, Harry?" Remus asked, pulling his wand out to examine the boy's leg.

"Not at all, actually," Harry quipped. He hopped off his spot and purposefully landed on the foot that was supposed to be injured. "I was faking it."

Sirius stared at him in shock. "Why would you do that, Harry? Do you know how worried I was?"

"I reckoned bodily harm was the only way I could get you to change back, Pads," he responded calmly. "Otherwise, you guys would go gray before talking about what happened last week."

Lily smothered her laugh in her hand while the men looked down at Harry in astonishment.

"I'll be up in my room so you can all talk like mature adults. Call me when lunch is ready... and I better come down to everyone as humans, Sirius Black."

Sirius crossed his arms and looked away stubbornly. He was just about to walk out when Harry's voice rang out once more.

"And just remember, you'll look like a right coward if you change back into Padfoot now, Sirius!"

James snorted and Remus gave him a look like he was daring him to try it.

"Your son is a git," Sirius grumbled finally. "A right git."

"He gets it from his godfather," James retorted.

"Why didn't you tell us, Sirius?" Lily sighed.

The man tightened his hold on himself. "I didn't want you to worry."

Remus felt the need to smack him unconscious. "Has this been going on for long?" Sirius didn't answer. "… Since you got out, I assume?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What difference would it have made? It's not like you can stop nightmares. They'll go away eventually. It's just about riding them out until it's over."

"No, it isn't," James all but shouted. "Did you even stop to consider that we might have found a way to help you? Given you a potion for dreamless sleep, talked all of this out with you, anything so you weren't carrying the weight of the damn world on your shoulders!"

"We know how much Peter's betrayal hurt you, Sirius," Lily began.

"We were hurt too, if you didn't notice," James said dryly. "A bit on the dead side because of him!"

"James, you aren't helping," Remus scolded.

But it was exactly what Sirius wanted to hear. "That's my point, isn't it? What right would I have had, weeping like an idiot, when my best friends died because of me?! It was all my fault!" He hurled himself down on a seat, too ashamed to look at them. "I'm not even in that hellhole anymore and yet I'm still having the same nightmares. I'm fucking drowning in my guilt, Prongs."

Lily kneeled next to him and forced him to look at her. "We all trusted him, Sirius. It wasn't just you."

"But I was the one who convinced you guys to make the switch. I'm the one who told you guys we couldn't trust Remus. I put your lives in that bastard's hands and it nearly cost me my entire family!"

"Nearly," Remus said, "but look at us. We're all here. We're all right here with you, Siri."

He fell forward into Lily's shoulder and cried silently as she rubbed his back. "I wanted to keep him, Lily, I swear. I didn't want him to go to your stupid sister. If only I went with Hagrid. If only I stayed with him!"

"We don't blame you, your moron," she told him, her affectionate tone betraying her words. "For any of it. James Potter, you come here and tell him we don't blame him."

"Of course we don't!" the man exclaimed exasperatedly. "Merlin's sake, Black, we forgave you when you nearly ruined Remus' life by sending Snape into the Shrieking Shack and you did that intentionally. Did you really think Lily and I would be mad over mistake we all made, not just you, while trying to save our lives?"

"But it wasn't just a little mistake," he whined. "And you did die!"

"Well, I'm pretty spry for a dead guy."

Remus laughed, earning him a glare from Sirius. "This isn't funny, Moony!"

The werewolf rolled his eyes and popped his head out the kitchen door. "Harry!" he shouted. "Mind coming down here?"

"Coming!"

Harry jogged back down to them with a smile on his face. "Is lunch ready?"

"Not quite," Remus chuckled. "Do you mind helping us for a second? Sirius has got it in his head that he's at fault for your parents' death and, subsequently, you having to go to the Dursleys."

Harry frowned almost immediately. "Why would you think that for? You aren't the one that waltzed up to Voldemort and told him where we were."

Sirius gawked at them. "B-but, but-"

"And you can't possibly be blaming yourself for trusting someone you've known since you were eleven!"

"Yes but…"

Harry shook his head. "I mean, I get it, I do, but if we aren't angry with you, then why keep your knickers in a twist about it?"

Sirius continued to stare at them all helplessly, for some reason hoping one of them would suddenly get angry and tell him he was right to feel guilty.

"So? Are we going to have lunch or not?"

Despite their attempts at convincing him differently, Sirius understandably still carried a heavy heart. He didn't try to avoid them any longer but would still sleep as Padfoot in Harry's room at night. He found that he had less nightmares and wasn't as restless at night when he was a dog. Or maybe it was knowing that he was close enough to Harry to protect him from harm. Whatever it was, he was thankful that Harry didn't kick him out and instead called for him when it was time to sleep. James joked that it would give his child a complex, or at the very least, his schoolmates would make fun of him for sleeping next to his godfather at his age. Harry merely rolled his eyes and said "like I would even tell them about it."

"Harry! Padfoot?" they heard one morning. "Breakfast!"

Harry rolled over unhappily and hid himself under his blankets. "Sleeping," he mumbled when he felt Padfoot nudging his feet. "Go on without me, Pads."

Padfoot whimpered but obeyed him all the same. "Refuses to get up," Sirius said after he morphed back and grabbed some toast off the table. Lily grinned excitedly, pointing at Harry's plate. He looked over at it and chuckled. "I don't know how he'll survive his morning classes once September comes."

"He'll manage," Lily stated confidently. "You boys eventually got the hang of it, didn't you?"

"I was always up on time!" Remus argued. "It's these two that always held me up! Told me it'd be a crime against our friendship if I left them behind and didn't get in trouble with them."

"Haha! That's true, we would tell him that," James agreed without remorse. "Do you know how many undeserved detentions he got because of us?"

"A bucketful," Sirius acknowledged.

"Try the whole of Gryffindor tower-ful," Lily countered. "I would know, I gave you boys most of them when I was a prefect."

Sirius glared at her. "Yeah. We remember, Evans. Let's hope Harry doesn't fall in love with a girl like you and forces his friends to 'take one for the team' every time she runs and tattles to the professors." James slapped the back of Sirius' head, making him choke on the bread he'd just taken a bite of. "Oi!" he coughed.

Lily sent him a withering glower. "You deserved it."

Harry walked into the room, his eyes still closed as he scratched his head sleepily. "Morning," he yawned.

"There you are, sweetheart," Lily squealed.

His eyes widened instantly. He'd never heard his mother squeal before. "What's going on?"

"An owl came for you today," James said slyly. Seemingly out of nowhere, Lily pulled a camera out and held it up at the ready.

"What are we taking pictures for?" he asked, still confused.

"I said mail came for you today, Har. It's waiting on the table for you."

Harry walked over to his usual seat and looked down at his plate. He practically squealed himself when he saw it.

Mr. H. Potter

The Second Largest Bedroom

Potter Terrace

Black Dog

Devon

Harry looked up at his family with amusement. "I guess I never even bothered to ask where we were exactly, but Black Dog, Devon? Three guesses on who chose the location of this house?"

Sirius winked. "Your grandfather chose it actually. Mum and Papa Potter bought it for me as a graduation present."

"Mum thought it was hilarious," James laughed. "They would have throttled you if they knew you signed it over to us."

"Oh hush, they would have loved me regardless. Besides, I didn't need a house this big for myself. All I needed was a flat to keep me happy and that's all they wanted. My happiness."

"They would've been happy to know we're all using it together now," Remus added.

"Alright, very sentimental and all, but my son's just received his Hogwarts letter!" Lily interjected before they could continue. "Go on, Harry! Open it!"

Harry carefully sawed his finger below the seal on the back but pulled the letter out in a great hurry. "Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Mum, it says we have to owl them by the end of July!"

"Don't worry, sweetheart. You'll be sending them a reply by the end of the week when you get your own owl."

He almost bounced with excitement. "There's a list here, of the uniform and books I'll need and… yes definitely an owl. I wouldn't want a cat or a toad."

"Good because you nearly killed our last cat," James muttered into his tea.

"Leave it be, James," Lily hissed. "Don't ruin the moment."

"Blimey, they even have a reminder that we aren't allowed broomsticks," Harry moaned. "You think we could sneak my Nimbus in, dad? They'll never know."

"Out of the question, Harry James," Lily growled. Harry wanted to pout. Lily hadn't even allowed him to use the broom once, saying he would learn how to ride one at school.

"But mum!"

"You're waging a losing war, son," James sighed. "Let it go."

He nodded reluctantly but gained back his enthusiasm in the blink of an eye. "This is amazing! I've really been accepted to Hogwarts! Do you think I'll be a Gryffindor like you guys? Dad, Sirius said you were wicked at transfiguration. You think I might be too? What other classes do they have? Will Professor Dumbledore be teaching any of them?"

"Slow down, Harry," Remus chuckled.

"When are we going school shopping? Tomorrow? Today maybe?"

"We got a letter of our own, Har," James told him. "Dumbledore'll be sending a member of staff to accompany us to Diagon Alley. You'll be going into the wizarding world as Harry Potter this time."

"Your father and I will still be disguised," Lily said. "For our own safety, of course, but we refused to miss your big day so this is our compromise. We go as long as someone is there to protect us. Remus will be joining us."

"And so will I," Sirius said happily. "But I don't fancy being recognized and bothered everywhere we turn, so I'll be coming as your ever faithful pet."

Harry beamed at them. "This is wonderful. A day out with my entire family and… er, did Professor Dumbledore say who he was sending?"

James shrugged. "Not sure yet. I can't imagine him sending someone busy like McGonagall but I'm sure he'll send someone who can get us out in a hurry if something goes south."

"Hagrid!"

Harry was stunned into silence, his eyes roaming over every inch of the man that was standing in his living room. His family was greeting the bearded behemoth like he was an old friend so he was obviously not someone to be scared of. Hagrid proved himself to be a gentle giant when he began blubbering over the much smaller adults. "Oh, Lily! James! I was so happy, I was, when Dumbledore told me you were alive! And Sirius! I knew you didn't do it, I just knew it!" They all hugged him together, trying their best to calm him down.

"There, there, Rubeus," Lily just about cooed. "There's nothing to cry about anymore!"

"Why don't you dry those tears and meet our son, eh?"

And that set Hagrid on a whole new wave of tears. Harry was getting rather exhausted as he mentally added another tally mark on his "How Many Times Someone Cried over the Potters" scoreboard.

"Baby Harry! I haven' seen him since he was a wee little thing!"

Harry smiled weakly at the man. "Well, in fairness I'm still rather small compared to you." His eyes nearly squeezed out of his skull when Hagrid swept him up into a tight hug, his feet dangling around the man's knees. "H-Hagrid!" He wheezed. "It's nice to meet you too!"

"Right! Sorry 'bout that!" Hagrid apologized as he put the boy back on his feet. "I'm Rubeus Hagrid! Keeper of keys and grounds at Hogwarts, and it's… It's just so wonderful to see you all again. So happy. A big happy family!"

"Why don't we head out to Diagon Alley?" Lily suggested hurriedly when she noticed the groundskeeper's bottom lip begin to tremble. "Harry's very excited to shop for his school supplies."

"Right! Of course, of course! We'll be portkeying there if that's fine with you lot. Don't think I'll be able ter fit into your fireplace."

"Sirius and I will meet you there," Remus told them. "I'll need to side-along apparate with him as a dog."

Sirius ruffled Harry's hair. "We'll meet you in front of the Leaky Cauldron, yeah?" With that, he shifted into Padfoot and trotted over to Remus who disapparated them away.

"What's portkeying, dad?"

"Means of transportation," James explained as he guided the boy out into the yard. "Now, be careful. You might not want to keep your eyes open while it's happening because you'll get very dizzy if you do. We'll tell you when it's safe to let go and open your eyes, alright?" Harry swallowed nervously but nodded. Hagrid pulled a wooden plank out of his pocket and held it out for all of them. "What you're going to do is touch that plank and, on our count, it'll send us to London. It'll feel a little unpleasant but it'll be over quick."

"Ready?" Lily asked him. He nodded. With a wave of her hand, James and she looked completely different. They both had light brown hair, identical to Remus', blue eyes and square faces. "Go ahead then."

They all took a hold of the plank and Hagrid cleared his throat. He checked his pocket watch and monitored the second's hand. "Alright everyone…1. 2. 3!"

Harry felt a tug on his navel that made him feel like he was falling. Despite James' warning, he kept his eyes wide open and stared wondrously as they spun through the clouds. "Are you ready, Harry? Let go!"

"What?!" he shouted.

"Let go, sweetheart!"

He released his grip from the wooden plank and screamed as he felt himself hurtle downward. Harry smacked the ground with a hard thud and groaned loudly in pain.

"You alright?" he heard Remus ask from above him.

"I think," he said with a wince. He took Remus' hand and hoisted himself up, leaning against Padfoot who was quick to run to his side and prop him up.

"Merlin, Harry!" James rushed to his son after landing safely on the ground. "Sorry! I forgot to warn you about the dismount."

"I'm fine. Really," he replied, pulling his shoulders back and standing straight to prove it.

"Look at that," Remus exclaimed when he saw them. "We could practically be related!"

"If I have to look like you for us to consider ourselves related, I think I'd rather we weren't," James jested.

Remus shoved him playfully. "You calling me ugly?" he snapped as they all walked into the Leaky Cauldron together.

"Well, I wasn't calling you pretty, Remus."

They were in such good spirits they didn't notice the way the pub fell silent at their appearance. Harry also was too preoccupied to realize the tension while he ran his fingers through his hair and futilely tried to fix its windswept appearance. "It'll never agree with me," he bemoaned to his mother.

"Good Lord," the man behind the bar said, staring at Harry's forehead, "is this- can this be-?" He leaned forward, and in a whisper, "Bless my soul. Harry Potter… what an honor."

Harry reeled back when the man ran out from behind the bar, rushed towards him and seized his hand, tears in his eyes.

"Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back."

He had no idea what to say and looked to his parents for help. Before they could cut in, there was a great scraping of chairs and a flood of wizards and witches hurried over to them. Almost everyone was taking turns shaking his hand.

"Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter, can't believe I'm meeting you at last."

"So proud, Mr. Potter, I'm just so proud."

"Always wanted to shake your hand- I'm all of a flutter."

"Delighted, Mr. Potter, just can't tell you, Diggle's the name. Dedalus Diggle."

Harry eyed the man and lit up with recognition. Magic wasn't the only thing that went unexplained in his life. There were many times he'd run into people who looked at him oddly and would say hello or run off all together, seeming as though they'd just seen a celebrity. "Hold on a second. I've seen you before!" Dedalus Diggle's top hat fell off in his excitement.

"You have?" James asked dubiously.

"Sure! You bowed to me once in a shop."

"He remembered!" the man cried, looking around at everyone. "Did you hear that? He remembers me!"

Everyone pushed through to shake his hand, despite Lily and James ordering them to give the boy some space. Padfoot was getting very irritated and began growling when they didn't listen. Finally, when the crowd lessened, a pale young man made his way to the front, very nervously.

"Professor Quirrell!" Hagrid bellowed happily. They all tried their best not to glare at the giant man who did nothing to help them ward Harry's fans away. "Harry, Professor Quirrell here will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts."

This gained his family's interest. So this man wasn't here just to shake his hand. "P-P-Potter, c-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you," he stammered as he grasped Harry's hand. Or maybe he was, they thought disappointedly.

Harry, polite as ever, graced the man with a kind smile. "What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?"

"D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts. N-not that you n-need it, eh P-P-Potter?" he laughed nervously. "You'll be g-getting all your equipment, I suppose? I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires, m-myself." He looked terrified at the very thought.

James had to hide behind Hagrid so as not to laugh in the poor man's face. Lily elbowed him hard before the crowd of people came and surrounded them again. "Hagrid, do something!" Lily demanded desperately.

Hagrid jolted in his spot, as if just realizing they wouldn't want to be stuck in the pub all day, and began waving them all off. "That's enough, everyone. Must get on- lots ter buy. Come along, you lot."

Harry felt like he could finally breathe again when he was led out into a walled courtyard. "When you guys told me we were famous, I didn't know it was, well, on that level of fame!" He hurriedly began brushing his hair over his forehead to cover the scar.

"Believe us, Harry, none of us expected that," James huffed. "Did you hear that Quirrell? That man is supposed to teach my son Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"Poor bloke," Hagrid said sorrowfully. "He was fine while he was studyin' outta books but then he took a year off ter get some first-hand experience… They say he met vampires in the Black Forest, and there was a nasty bit o' trouble with a hag- never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject."

"Scared of the students?" James gaped. "How in god's name will Harry learn anything?"

"You haven't given him a chance, James," Lily argued.

"We're supposed to give him a chance after that display?"

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Potter!" They all turned back to the Leaky Cauldron backdoor to see a woman running towards them with parchment in one hand and a quill in another. "Would you mind- if only I could have an autograph-"

Padfoot crouched in front of the boy and snarled threateningly. The witch stumbled backwards with a gasp.

"I… sorry!" and she disappeared through the door once more.

Padfoot turned back to Harry, a proud gleam in his eyes. "What? Do you expect to be rewarded for protecting me from the dangerous quill she was wielding?" Harry rolled his eyes when the black dog nipped at his calf. He rubbed his ears with a sigh. "Alright, alright, good dogfather."

Padfoot looked pleased despite the quip at the end.