A/N: To everyone who leaves me a review, thank you so much. Your words mean everything, and I always, always reread them when I'm feeling down or unmotivated.
Exhibition[ist]
[raw development]
"Surprise!"
Few things often pleasantly coloured the empath's rather temperamental mood so early in the day, but the presence of her emerald-clad, auburn-haired, freckled friend was certainly a sight for sore eyes. Raven couldn't help the gentle lift of the corners of her mouth as she greeted her — and the rest of Titans East — at the elevators of the Tower.
Lillith Clay gently probed the folds of their isolated mental channel, testing for permission before Raven relented her own barriers and greeted the other girl affectionately.
'Greetings,' the psychic echoed back jovially, all the while the other Titans — oblivious to the two girls' secret — drifted in to say hello to their fellow comrades.
'We weren't expecting you,' Raven added as she was pulled into a tight hug before being clapped affectionately on the shoulder by Speedy.
Lillith shrugged, still smiling. 'The boys really missed Robin, but they'll probably lie and say it's because of their tri-annual barbeque videogame cook-off challenge to mask their affections.'
Raven couldn't help her sardonic smirk at the unironic truth in her friend's assessment. They'd shared many a conversation in regards to Raven's empathic abilities, and Lillith's curiosity regarding her teammates' true feelings regarding one another — without actually mentally prying — were a frequent topic she'd broach around her emotion-sensitive friend. Of course, just like with Lillith's ability to read thoughts, Raven was always careful with her empathy, so as to respect the privacy of the other Titans. That being said, it didn't really stop them both from gossiping a little.
"Y'all ready to get your asses handed to you tonight?" Cyborg teased uproariously, wiggling his brows at Aqualad and Bumblebee.
"In your dreams, tough guy," Karen scoffed back, punching his metal exterior playfully. "I'm ready to take home pure gold tonight, tin can!" She flexed her impressive biceps for emphasis, earning her an appreciative glance from Starfire as the alien princess floated over to examine her muscles.
"I have always wondered if physical prowess would help in these video game challenges," Starfire mused aloud.
"They don't. Just ask Beast Boy," Garth replied smugly as he pointed his thumb in the changeling's direction.
"Hey!" The accused Titan prickled at the insult, even as the others around him chuckled to themselves. "What the heck is that supposed to mean, huh?"
It was no competition when it came to musculature among the boys — Garth was lean and defined, smaller only when compared to Victor's more robust, mechanical size. Even Robin — for all his effort and training — was but a trailing third in the physique department. Between Roy and Garfield, it was anyone's guess. Nonetheless, Raven couldn't help but recall the previous conversations she'd overheard between Beast Boy and Robin regarding the changeling's lack of effort in the battle department. She also — by default — couldn't shake the mental image of him swimming in the pool…
'Not a bad view, I take it?' asked Lillith coyly, watching the empath carefully with her curious, azure stare.
Raven nearly jumped out of her skin, having forgotten all about the mental link that had still been open between them when her thoughts had trailed. She bristled and panicked, closing herself off immediately as the flustered emotions coloured her face and sped up her heartbeat. In truth, her reaction was more of a defense mechanism, and she immediately felt terrible for shutting out her friend in such an abrupt manner. Not only was it rude, but it was also jolting when least expected. She knew she was going to owe Lillith an explanation — and potentially an apology — but Raven herself was having a hard time coming to grips with the betrayal of her own thoughts.
This was Beast Boy she was thinking about. Sure, they'd grown a lot closer ever since the accidental image bond, but she'd always surmised the attraction was merely platonic. It was...a bit of a peculiar wake up call, realizing that she was rather defensive of the changeling when it came to comparisons among the other male Titans. Maybe it was because she, too, wasn't exactly the most physically strong member on the team, and had somehow identified with him on that account when he'd opened up to her about it.
Raven chanced a shy glance at him then, feeling like a piece of bland wallpaper as Garfield and Garth had decided to duke it out in an arm-wrestling match at a nearby bench, refereed by Cyborg and Speedy. She couldn't help the way heat bloomed in her chest, and danced all the way to the tips of her tingling fingers and toes. Was it embarrassment?
Just as she had begun pondering her feelings, Raven felt Lillith's gentle touch on her shoulder before anything else — so absorbed in her own conflicting thoughts, she'd barely noticed her friend's presence, or wafting, earthy perfume. The girl gave her a soft smile. "I was hoping we could do some meditating on the roof while we wait for lunch to be ready? If you'd like."
Karen and Kory were busy articulating proper arguments about who would win in both the upcoming video game match and arm-wrestling, while Robin was trying to be subjective among all the yelling from Cyborg and Speedy. No one seemed to be paying Lillith or Raven any mind and, as curious as Raven may have been regarding the outcome between Aqualad and Beast Boy, an escape from all the loud noise and rambunctious hormones was far more appealing.
She nodded once at Lillith, and the two girls easily slipped away unnoticed to the rooftop of Titans Tower.
"Sorry...about before," Raven finally apologized after a few minutes of deep meditation. Lillith had been extremely respectful regarding the matter, not having brought it up or even probing for another chance at their private, mental channel.
It had given Raven time to breathe, gather her thoughts and emotions, and formulate an adequate response to her uncharacteristic behaviour. One of the many reasons the two of them got on so well to begin with. "I didn't mean to cut you out like that. I suppose I was caught off guard." Even now, she couldn't help the way her cheeks went aflame, merely recalling the reason for her unsolicited rudeness.
A fleeting moment of weakness. It was the understatement of the year.
Lillith smiled reassuringly, but there was still a glint of playful knowledge held in her infinite gaze. "Don't worry about it. If anything, it was my fault for prying when I shouldn't have."
Raven adjusted her cape. "I was the one being...inappropriate," she gulped, her face growing hot.
"What you were being," Lillith began to correct her, "is a normal human girl, and there's nothing wrong with that."
The mortification made Raven roll her eyes and scoff, trying to play off her embarrassment as nonchalance. "You can't be serious about having this lecture with me of all things, Lilllith. Just come out and say what we both know you're thinking." The wrinkle in her cloak, no matter her efforts, would not straighten. Her fingers were shaking.
"I'm not sure what you mean?" Lillith's curiosity was genuine, but that only served to further annoy the empath.
"I mean, this is Beast Boy we're talking about!" she finally hissed, unable to stand the budding tension growing within her. "Of all people! Beast Boy!"
When Lillith said nothing and remained impassive, Raven pressed on, heart thumping desperately against her ribcage. "How can you not have something to say about that? Everyone else would have something to say about that!"
"Why? What's wrong with Beast Boy?"
Raven laughed emptily, the sound devoid of any actual humor. "Right now, he's probably downstairs thinking of ten different, ridiculous ways to challenge Garth to a show of strength after losing in arm-wrestling, all the while glowering at him while stuffing his face with cheetos."
"He didn't lose," Lillith stated simply, shaking her head.
Raven blinked at her, caught off guard by this new information. "What?"
"I said, he didn't lose. They're currently doing a best three out of five, and only because Garth is convinced it was a fluke."
"You're joking."
"I'm not. It seems he's impressed everyone. Even Roy's bidding on him now. Do you guys always have such little faith in Garfield?"
The question probably hadn't meant to slip off Lillith's tongue in the way that it did, but Raven couldn't help the immediate guilt and resulting shame that had accompanied her words, almost chastising in their nature despite her neutral tone. The empath bowed her head, humbled and unsure of what to say to rectify the situation.
"My apologies. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I guess I just feel sorry for him sometimes," Lillith sighed, wrapping her deep green cloak about herself as the afternoon wind picked up.
Raven shook her head. "No, you're right. Gar's been nothing short of accommodating these days. I shouldn't have expected so much judgement."
At this, Lillith lifted a single, auburn brow, a corner of her mouth quirking in a half-smile. "So, it's true then. It's Beast Boy you've developed the image link with."
Raven blanched, but when she opened her mouth, she found no words to deny the accusation. Lillith giggled.
"Raven, it's okay. I'm not going to tell anyone. In fact, I've been looking into ways of closing it off permanently."
"How?" Raven asked, panic lacing her tone.
"Well, outside of my standard methods, I'm not sure yet. I've been practicing on animals and insects, but...I haven't quite deciphered it yet. I'll let you know if I do," Lillith replied, tapping a finger at the sharp point of her chin.
The idea of being rid of the link was enough to send Raven reeling, but it also reminded her of the deal she'd worked out with Beast Boy as a result. "Thanks," she mouthed, but there was a bit of unexpected apprehension in her voice.
If Lillith had noted her hesitance, she made no mention of it, and the two girls drifted back into a peaceful, deep meditation once again.
Raven had wanted to put off going back into the Tower after her accidental slip-up. Mostly because she wanted to avoid Beast Boy — at no fault of his own, for once. She knew she was likely being paranoid, but the feeling of unease and queasiness had made itself at home in her stomach, and she couldn't shake it, no matter what. Nonetheless, it was inevitable, and eventually, the girls were called down to join everyone for a late lunch. The irony in trying to avoid someone was that, for some reason, they were suddenly always painfully visible, as Raven was quickly coming to learn.
"I grabbed you a veggie dog, Rae." Beast Boy was so close, she could smell the spice of his pine-scented soap mingling with both his deodorant and sweat. "Any particular toppings?"
They were both lined up at the table where the condiments and food had been plated, and it was just her luck that he'd sidled on next to her. Having been in front of her — and in direct access of the food — he'd grabbed her a bun and hot dog and was now prepared to scoop toppings for her, too. Raven was embarrassed. Even though she knew Lillith wasn't paying her any attention, she couldn't help feeling like her response would be scrutinized by everyone in the immediate vicinity.
"I am perfectly capable of getting my own hot dogs, Beast Boy," she informed him quite dryly, grabbing the bun and moving it to her paper plate.
"Uh, okay?" Beast Boy appeared genuinely confused by her brashness, and he scratched at the nape of his neck absent-mindedly while he observed the other Titan angrily dump relish and onions onto her bun.
"Aha! A hot dog eating competition! I bet I could kick your butt in that!" Garth suddenly exclaimed, pushing his way between Raven and Beast Boy.
Cyborg threw his head back and laughed. "You're really barkin' up the wrong tree there, fish boy. Gar's stomach is like a bottomless pit when it comes to tofu."
"Are you seriously still bitter about losing to this string-bean in arm-wrestling?" Roy chuckled, shaking his head.
"I don't see you jumping up at the opportunity for a challenge!" Garth barked back. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were scared of looking bad in front of the girls!"
Roy immediately grew flustered, his freckled face flushing crimson. "Shut up, fish breath!"
"For the record, this string-bean could easily take you both on with his eyes closed, fellas," Garfield bragged, earning him menacing glares from both the other Titans.
"Azar," Raven sighed dejectedly, closing her eyes and massaging her temples, as if to will them out of her head. "You're all giving me a migraine."
It was true; all the yelling and emotional imbalance was beginning to grate on Raven's carefully placed defenses, and it didn't help that she was still self-conscious around Garfield for whatever reason. He stood out to her, more so than usual. The colour green was having a myriad of effects on her, and she couldn't ignore it when he was somehow always in the corner of her eye.
"Sorry, Rae," Beast Boy apologized bashfully, but he was easily drowned out by the heated bickering between Aqualad and Speedy.
Raven, annoyed, merely grabbed a drink and stalked off to the living room, away from the growing tension, and most notably, away from a very persistent changeling.
Except, of course, that he followed after her like a lost puppy. She didn't need to use her empathic abilities to sense that he was worried about something. Presumably, her.
"Why are you following me?" she asked exasperatedly. She'd sat down on the couch only to have Beast Boy take the seat directly next to her, even though most other spots were free. In fact, he was so close, his leg and shoulder brushed against hers in what could only be described as an acutely intimate fashion. The heat returned, full force.
"I'm not? What's up with you today?" Beast Boy was getting ready to bite into one of his tofu dogs as Raven squirmed against the armchair, suddenly very aware of how much body warmth he exhumed compared to her.
"Nothing's up with me. What's up with you?" she snapped back.
Beast Boy grinned cheekily before gloating, "Well, in case you didn't hear, I kicked pretty boy's butt earlier today. He's not taking it too well."
"That's not what I meant."
Beast Boy flexed his biceps, still grinning from ear to ear. "I know."
Raven couldn't help it. Her gaze was reflexively drawn to the curved line of muscle just beneath the taut material of his shirt, right where the fabric dug into the clearly defined groove. Her face burned, and she forcefully tore her eyes away.
"You're still scrawnier than him," she noted, growing irritable with his cockiness and trying to mask her flustered state with impromptu rudeness.
Beast Boy stopped flexing. "Everyone knows it's not about the size of the muscles, Rae. It's how you use them! And face it; you're just upset because I'm officially stronger than your beady-eyed boyfriend, fishsticks."
"He's not my boyfriend," she growled more defensively than she'd have liked to.
"Yeah, well. I still kicked his butt more than once."
"Who cares? Strength isn't the only thing that makes someone attractive, Beast Boy."
It was like she was giving herself the pep talk. So what if the changeling had filled out nicely over the years? So what if she'd come to admire that? Like Lillith had said, it was a perfectly normal reaction to have. Even Raven's mother had been seduced by such shallow ideals once upon a time. The key was to not act on them. Being attracted to someone physically had no bearing on pursuing an actual relationship with them.
Just like with Aqualad. Sure, he was certainly a good-looking young man, even Kory would agree. But ultimately, Raven much preferred their professional relationship and friendship over the idea of romance.
"And exactly what do you find attractive, Rae?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively, and once again she became painfully aware of the lack of space between them. His thigh — even through the rough material of his faded jeans — was warm and hard against her bare leg.
She squirmed, trying to create some space, but there was nowhere to go. There was also something in the back of her mind that told her that, maybe, she liked the touching. In fact, she craved it. Her heart sped up, her palms grew sweaty, and something carnal, deep in her loins, ached for more of it.
Raven clenched her jaw and tried to focus on the conversation instead. "Personality. Someone cultured, smart. Holding an interesting conversation so that talking comes naturally, but that silence isn't awkward, either. Having a lot in common, I think, could help facilitate that."
Beast Boy nodded, taking it all in like he was mentally jotting down notes.
"So, basically, you want to date yourself?" he then surmised.
Raven blinked, somewhat startled by his bold assessment. "What's so terrible about wanting to have similar hobbies and interests? That's what makes a healthy relationship."
He shrugged and leaned back into the sofa, his paper plate settling in his lap. "Nothing, I guess." It was obviously a lie judging by his body language and the way he avoided eye contact.
"No. You don't agree. Why?" Raven couldn't help her curiosity, but mostly she wanted to defend her disposition.
"It just sounds so…," he paused, clearly searching for the most accurate, but inoffensive, word, "...boring. If all you ever do is the same things, or agree on everything all the time, how do you ever grow as a person? Don't you want to try new things? Explore? Learn? Maybe find something different to enjoy? Y'know, gain a perspective you never thought of before."
Raven gawked at Beast Boy openly. "Boring?" she queried incredulously. Shaking her head in disagreement, she said, "Two vastly different people couldn't possibly have a lasting relationship." Even to her own ears, her argument sounded weak. But the shapeshifter had certainly caught her off guard with his heavy response, and she was unprepared with an adequate defense.
Beast Boy then took a bite of his hot dog, swallowed, and shrugged. "There's got to be balance, of course. You need to have enough in common that you don't murder each other, like morals, but having different interests or hobbies isn't the end of the world, so long as you're willing to try and make it work."
"Since when did you become a relationship guru?" Raven quipped, raising both brows in genuine surprise.
It earned her a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm not. Take one look at my track record and you'll see I'm pretty horrible at them."
Even though it was light-hearted jab, there was still a hint of pain in his expression. Like a small, stinging wince, barely noticeable, but there nonetheless if anyone looked close enough.
"Come to think of it, probably best you don't take dating advice from me; chances are I'm dead wrong…," he noted forlornly, realizing the hypocrisy in his own testament while staring down at the crumbs on his plate.
"Hm, I don't think you are," Raven conceded, and she found that she wasn't just saying it to cheer him up. "I think every individual should experience romance the way they perceive it. If you feel strongly about it, then that's what you should pursue."
Beast Boy managed to grin in between mouthfuls of food — having stuffed his face in an effort to mask his pain. It always amazed Raven how quick he could be when it came to shifting moods.
"So, does that mean you think the two of us would ever work out, Rae?" There was more waggling of eyebrows at this, and a closing of space between them as Garfield leaned in to give her a sultry stare, obviously teasing.
Raven shoved him lightly by the shoulder. "Don't push your luck, salad head."
He shrugged and chortled at her unsurprising reaction. "Worth a shot."
Raven folded her arms over her chest and tried not to think about what it would be like to date Beast Boy. Craving physical intimacy was one thing, but an actual relationship with anyone intimidated the empath into an almost panic attack.
Still...dating Garfield would probably include an unhealthy dose of late night junk food and evenings of staying in marathoning video games or cheesy sci-fi movies. Nothing particularly thrilling, adventurous, or exciting about any of that, she surmised.
Then again, Robin and Starfire had been together for a few years now, and even they preferred the quiet nights together over any fancy events or outings. Truth be told, Raven really didn't know much about the dating scene or what it consisted of, as her experience in that department had been...lax, to say the least. Sure, she'd hung out with Goth Boy a few times in the past, but even then, her interest grew stale. It didn't help any that their supposed 'dates' only ever consisted of grabbing a tea at the nearest cafe, or heading to a poetry slam.
And Malchior…
She'd sooner not think about him at all. Even now, his name alone incited a horrible, twisting feeling in her gut, and her heart panged mercilessly in response, the wound he'd left her still raw and festering somehow.
As Raven silently mused to herself, and Beast Boy ate while watching television, the room had slowly begun to fill with other chatty Titans. Garth still wore a deep-set scowl, even as he picked at the food on his plate with little enthusiasm. Karen and Starfire were giggling over a shared joke, and Roy and Richard were engaged in a heated discussion about who had the more effective gadgets. Cyborg had piled up his plate and was gearing to set up the game station while Lillith took her place next to Garth, giving Raven a friendly smile as she did so.
Gently, the telepath probed their mental link, and Raven happily granted her access. It would do her some good to think on things that didn't involve romance or intimacy. She was still in disbelief that she'd even managed to carry out such a delicate topic of conversation with Beast Boy.
'I think he's a little sweet on you, Raven.'
The empath's eyes widened, even as she locked gazes with Lillith, who appeared genuinely pleased by her own rather astute observation. 'It's really rather adorable.'
'What in Azar's name are you talking about?' But Raven knew perfectly well who Lillith meant. She was merely doing her damndest to ignore the green changeling sitting uncomfortably close beside her while feigning ignorance.
'Beast Boy, of course! Why don't you ask him out? Robin can't possibly have any rules about dating a teammate now that he's with Starfire.'
'Merciful Azar, Lillith, I am not crushing on Beast Boy, nor am I going to ask him out. He's my friend, who I've accidentally dragged into a mess I don't know how to fix. That's all there is to it. Attraction or not, I need to figure out how to end things and move on.'
Lillith merely giggled, unphased by the threat in Raven's tone. 'Okay, okay. I was just teasing. Still, he's kind of a cutie. I can see what you mean…'
The chestnut-haired Titan gave an otherwise oblivious Garfield an appreciative once-over, biting her bottom lip in contemplation. Raven stiffened, and an emotion — sharp and a lot like jealousy — overcame her before she could stop it.
'Whatever.' Raven sat back in the couch and pretended not to care. What was it to her who liked Beast Boy, anyways?
'Oh, Raven. You are such an easy mark. Don't fret, I have my eyes set on someone else these days…,' Lillith confessed, gleaning her discomfort quite easily.
As the sorceress furtively glanced in her direction, she saw her staring longingly at Garth, who was too busy being irritated and glaring heatedly at his untouched food to notice. A wave of relief washed over Raven, and she visibly eased up, but thought better than to question her motives. She then did something entirely involuntary and without conscious effort — she siddled even closer to Garfield.
Something in her stomach fluttered when they touched in new places, and Raven nearly recoiled when she'd realized what she'd done. Yet, for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to pull away.
Azar help her, she was enjoying the warmth and the way he felt, right down to the coarse hairs on his arm bristling against her bare skin. It made her tongue stick to the roof of her suddenly parched mouth and her pulse race and the ache in her belly stronger still.
'I'm glad that Beast Boy is being really mature about the whole thing,' Lillith commented, dragging Raven back into conversation. She secretly hoped and prayed the other girl hadn't noted her feelings this time around.
'He's been...very understanding,' she replied, licking her dry lips and fighting the urge to recall her earlier conversations with Beast Boy regarding her newest hobby. The last thing Raven needed was having to deal with one more person becoming aware of her latest, uncharacteristic activity. Explaining that one to Lillith would have been far worse than anything else involving her emotions that they'd abysmally tried to discuss. She wasn't exactly forthcoming to begin with.
'That's good! I bet it's made this conundrum a lot easier to deal with.' Lillith piped up.
'Yeah, I suppose it could be worse.' Although Raven didn't really know how.
Just then, Beast Boy's knee brushed hers and stayed there, making the empath flush and stiffen notably. Lillith seemed to have caught her friend's wide-eyed shock at the movement, because she giggled behind her hand, like a preteen who knew a secret.
That was the final straw. "Beast Boy, have you ever considered the idea of personal space?" Raven seethed through gritted teeth, barely loud enough for only the changeling to hear.
"Oh! Uh...sorry, Rae," he apologized sheepishly before finally scooting over. She'd never admit it, but she already missed the warmth he exuded, as well as the fluttery, tingling feeling in her belly that he'd also helped inspire.
Azar, she needed to get a hold of herself. The photos were one thing, but her...feelings were another matter entirely, and she simply didn't have the capacity to entertain them at the moment. Not especially with Lillith in her head.
"Just...stay on your side of the couch," she sighed feebly, feeling a twinge of remorse at her coldness.
A little while later, Mas and Menos also joined the fray, and thankfully preoccupied Beast Boy and the others. The two younger boys had been busy trying to apprehend Mumbo Jumbo during a bank heist, and it had taken them a bit longer than anticipated to join the party. Still, with such a full house, it was easy for Raven to finally distract herself from her previous, rebellious thoughts. Everything eventually fell into a natural groove among the Titans again, and the early morning events were but a distant fever dream.
Her nighttime visitor could have been anyone, if she was being honest to herself. After the games were over — and Karen was declared champion, much to the devastation of the boys — most of the Titans East had said their goodbyes and called it a night. Via their mental channel, Lillith had bid the empath an affectionate farewell even after they'd embraced, no hard feelings having ever lingered between them.
'You know you can reach out to me anytime about anything, Raven,' she'd told her, ardent in her plight and smiling sweetly so that it lit up the soft blues of her eyes.
Which ultimately begged the question; was it Starfire at her door, perhaps requesting an impromptu, last minute swimming session? One glance at the clock on her nightstand told Raven that the alien princess was likely snuggled up with both Silkie and her boyfriend at this time of night.
Perhaps it was Robin, if he was in need of another sleeping spell from the nightmares that often plagued him and worried his girlfriend to no end. Although, they'd seemed to have subsided somewhat ever since he'd allowed Kory more and more into his heart, and Raven couldn't recall the last time he'd come to her for an episode.
That left Cyborg and Beast Boy, both of which…
The knocking came again, more incessant now, and effectively cut off her train of thought, which was admittedly heading into sleep-mode again. The day had been long, exhausting, and certainly emotionally taxing for the young Titan, and she'd been looking forward to bed. Raven groaned and clambered out of her warm sheets very reluctantly.
"I'm coming, I'm coming, relax," she grumbled, nearly stumbling on her way.
Sauntering over to her door on bare feet, she sighed, adjusted her bedhead hair, sloppily and cautiously slid it open.
"Cyborg?" she queried, somewhat surprised by his presence so late in the night.
Truth be told, she'd half expected it to be Beast Boy just based on their most recent interactions, probably there to arrange their next photo shoot. In some small way she'd never admit to, she was almost a little disappointed that it wasn't.
"What's going on?" she asked, her tone serious. Had there been an emergency and she hadn't realized? Was there something wrong with the Tower facilities?
"Hey, Rae. Nothin's up. Just wanted to drop by and, uh...have some words, I guess. Do you mind?" Victor indicated coming in for some privacy.
Raven nodded, a bit taken off guard, but moved out of the way so that he could enter. She closed the door behind him.
"Place hasn't changed much over the years, I see," he chuckled, observing her unique, dark decor. She was still a bit prickly when it came to uninvited visitors to her bedroom, especially after the incident with Nevermore. It was enough to make her shudder.
"Skip the small talk, Victor. What did you want to discuss?" Raven folded her arms over her chest, her expression stoic. She liked to think that she knew the cybernetic man well enough by now that she could tell when he was at unease.
As if on cue, Cyborg's smile shrank and he took a seat on the edge of her bed, tapping the spot next to him when she didn't immediately join him.
Once she did — somewhat hesitant — he averted his gaze to the rug on her floor. "It's about Beast Boy."
Raven's heart dropped in a mild panic, but she maintained her composure in front of the eldest Titan.
"What about him?" She played it cool.
Cyborg sighed heavily and ran his cool, robotic palm over his face. His shoulders slumped forward. "He's been acting...weird, don't you think?"
Raven shook her head. "He was pretty much his usual self all day today with the other Titans."
"Not what I meant, Rae." He gave her a deadpan look. "What I mean is...how he's never home these days, and when he is, he spends all his time locked up in his room, plotting. Do you think...do you think maybe, he has a girlfriend he just ain't tellin' us about? I mean, I figured he'd eventually move on from Terra, but last I checked, he's still beat up about her, and it ain't like him to not tell me — his best bud-"
"Slow down," Raven interjected with the rise of her hand. "You're making a lot of hypothetical assumptions here, Cyborg," she warned, not unkindly.
"You're right," he agreed, after a momentary pause. "Guess I'm just a bit worried, and I don't know who else to talk to about it. I thought that maybe, what with your empathy and all…," he trailed off, embarrassed by his own suggestion.
"You want me to sense if he's...having any conflicting feelings?" Raven finished for him.
Cyborg shrugged, still staring at the floor. "I just mean, if you had any idea, or if there's some special lady...I don't mean to nose around, y'know? Just like, if you already knew somethin'..."
Well, that was easy. Raven shook her head. "There's no secret girlfriend. He's just swamped with his photography class, I think. He mentioned something about wanting to make an impression, too, so maybe that's why he's been different. He believes he has something to prove, like you said."
A brief flicker of relief flashed over the cybernetic Titan's human features, but it was obvious he wasn't entirely convinced. "You two do seem to be spending a lot of time together...You wouldn't mind just, keeping an eye out for him, would you?"
Raven gulped — had they been that obvious? "If by time together, you mean hovering near me at every inconvenient opportunity, then sure. Why not? But really, I think you're asking the wrong person here, and that you should probably just go talk to him yourself."
Victor shook his head in disagreement. "No, I mean actually hanging out, like volunteering to go to his photography class, spending time at the Tower...You guys seem closer these days. Not that it's a bad thing, but I'm thinkin' that maybe I do have the best person for the job."
Raven scoffed, but mostly because she had no other way of refuting his claim. Also, his smile was contagious.
"And what about you?" Cyborg asked.
"What about me?" She lifted an inky brow.
Victor smiled, genuinely this time. "New phone, new friends, just figured I ought to check in."
Raven averted her guilt ridden gaze to her lap, afraid she would give too much away otherwise. "It's...fine. Everything's fine. Just don't expect me to be super active in the group chat or anything," she mumbled, picking at her pajama shorts.
He chuckled at this before draping his strong, heavy arm over her shoulder and pulling her in for a reluctant, surprise hug. "Wouldn't dream of it. Just so long as you know I'm always here to talk if you need it. Totally confidential, I promise." Cyborg winked.
He then patted her back gently, digital fingers still rough despite his effort to mute some of his impressive strength.
"I know. But I'm fine. Really. You don't need to worry about me, Victor." She mustered up a gentle smile — small and only a barely discernible lilt at the corners of her mouth — if only for his sake.
It appeared to suffice and, with one last exchanged look of mutual understanding and camaraderie, Cyborg left her bedroom.
Being checked in on by Victor was by far, not the most oddest occurrence at the Tower for Raven. In fact, it was par for the course. Along with playing the resident physician, Cyborg also liked to be a bit of a guidance counselor for his teammates, too. He'd often joke and tease Raven that he was just warming it up for her, since she would be far better suited for the role due to her natural abilities. But the empath was still struggling with her own inner demons. She wasn't yet sure she was up to the daunting task of speaking to the others about their own. Perhaps, one day, though…
Still, Victor's visit was rather ominous in that it had been late. Which meant that he'd likely waited until all the other visiting Titans had left, and that the resident Titans were therefore too preoccupied to care about what he'd been up to. Which made sense, especially if his primary concern was Beast Boy, who would have no doubt felt his best friend's absence most of all.
The thought lingered in the back of Raven's mind, pressing like the relentless pitter patter of a bird's delicate pecking against her window pane.
By the time she'd realized that the bird was indeed actually at her window, and not some figment of her imagination, Raven caught the familiar glint of deep emerald wings, and feathers flapping away beneath the steady weight of an early dawn rain shower. She propped open a single eye from where she lay her head, took one look at the bedside clock, and sighed. Raven took a moment to bury her face into the plush softness of her pillows before finally giving in to wakefulness. She hadn't exactly had a restful slumber anyways, what with her mind abuzz from the previous evening's commotions, and thus, wasn't as vexed by the early hour as she may have been.
For a moment, she could have sworn that the bird was indeed a part of some hallucination, as Beast Boy was unlikely to be awake so early in the day for anything, let alone to just tap away at her windows. Feeling a bit self-conscious, she'd be hard pressed to deny that he hadn't been on her mind most of the night, but she'd merely chalked it up to getting more than her usual dosage of the changeling rather than some feeble, awakening attraction she may have still been in denial of.
In fact, it wasn't even until she'd spotted the crumpled up piece of paper from beneath her door that she started to doubt herself yet again. Once opening it, there was no shadow of a doubt — judging by Garfield's obvious, messy script — that the bird had indeed been real.
Meet me in the kitchen when you're dressed.
-BB ;)
Raven shook her head, trying to find a shred of annoyance at her all too eager teammate — maybe even a spelling error — but she was only curious, regardless of the circumstances. She was quick to drape her cloak about her bare shoulders — almost methodically — before heading over to the destination as so marked by the peculiar, crumpled up note still in her grasp. What on Earth was so important that Beast Boy couldn't wait to tell her about it at a more reasonable hour? And why was it that he'd gone through such lengths to get her alone?
The lights to the Tower were mostly out, what with the resident heroes normally still in bed at this unforgivable hour, but as Raven neared the dining quarters, she could tell that one particular Titan was currently preoccupied making breakfast.
Raven froze when he came into her line of view, and she became rooted to the spot just outside the hall.
He didn't notice her at first. In fact, he hardly seemed to be aware of anything around him whatsoever, his eyes half-lidded in an almost dream-like state as he whisked up his tofu omelette in a robotic fashion. Beast Boy stared off at the tiled floor, lost in thought, and it — unfortunately — did not escape the empath that he was also sans a shirt.
Of all the times for her hormones to act up involuntarily, and all Raven could do was wish that she could return to some semblance of normal again. But after her conversations — and begrudging realizations — with Lillith, it was impossible to switch it all off. Like a leaky faucet, her emotions were uncooperative.
"Why aren't you dressed?" she blurted out, knowing that she'd be caught staring at his stark, green nudity no matter what she said.
"Hm?" Beast Boy seemed to finally realize he wasn't alone in the room, and he glanced up in her direction — albeit, slow as a turtle — and blinked twice, as if to ensure he wasn't sleepwalking, or daydreaming her existence. "Oh, you're awake," he noted, a lazy smile crawling onto his sleepy features. It was as if he'd never even heard her question in the first place.
He paused in his incessant churning of eggs and soy milk, only to set down the bowl on the counter so that he could stretch out a long-winded yawn, arms raised over his head in a wide arc. The sudden motion made his already low-riding, fleece pajama bottoms slip even lower. Raven's eyes widened as she visually traced the trail of soft, dark hairs that started at his navel, traveled the length of his toned abdomen, and then disappeared beyond his waistband.
She immediately snapped her attention back to his face before he caught her lingering gaze, her lips becoming a thin, pale line. All that junk food, and yet the younger boy was as fit and limber as a marathon swimmer. It was like he was an enigma — some sort of optical illusion, or magician's trick.
"I was gonna make some breakfast to go before heading out," he added casually.
Raven raised an eyebrow at that. "Heading out? Heading out where?"
The lazy smile then turned into a shit-eating grin — one the empath would recognize easily enough. He was up to something mischievous and she was highkey involved in whatever ludicrous masterplan he'd concocted.
"Oh, Azar," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with thumb and forefinger, knowing she'd resigned to her fate the moment she'd read his letter.
"It's just for the weekend, I swear! I already told Rob and the others that we'd be busy with a photography project for my class, and they're all cool with it!"
"You what?!"
He looked remorseful when her tone had shifted to annoyance.
"It's just...that dude had you really grossed out, and it got me thinking…"
"What? To do a boudoir shoot at some questionable motel with stained wallpaper and sheets from the seventies? No thanks, Beast Boy. I didn't sign up to film some cheap pornography," she hissed, feeling disgusted.
"Dude! Of course not! It's nothing like that at all!" He blushed at her heavy insinuation. Then, sheepishly, he added, "It'll be way more private and the location is stunning, and you can bring...whatever clothes you want, including the new ones we picked up. Just...just trust me, Rae, will you? This once. Please. If you end up hating it, nothing's stopping you from teleporting back, and I swear I'll never mention it again."
He was being earnest, and his longing to please her was steadily chipping away at her resolve. He also had a point about the teleportation…
"You're not giving up on this, are you?" Raven fixed her cloak tighter about herself, but she was already warming up to the idea of actually trusting him. Her initial judgement had been crass, and she knew it, but she couldn't help her defensiveness. Not especially when he'd brought up her creepy 'fan'.
"Would you agree if I let you pick the music for the road trip?" He batted his eyelashes at her.
"Road trip? Where the heck are we going?"
"It's a surprise. Now go pack up, or we'll never get there on time!"
And just like that, he ushered a very confused Titan out of the kitchen.
A/N: That was long, huh? Anyways, sorry for the delay in update. Health concerns are still preventing me from doing much. Thanks to everyone following and reviewing! You guys motivate me so much with your words, you have no idea. Now that I'm in a routine, maybe I can find an updating groove, but I am still in the middle of a move, so. Please bear with me! Hopefully the updates are worth the wait. p