I didn't get any sleep that night. Surprise, surprise.
All that night, I tossed and turned, trying to decide. Raoul vs. Erik- not the easiest decision I've made.
What made it harder was realizing that I loved both of them. Raoul was my childhood sweetheart, loved me, and he always watched over me, protecting me. Erik was a musical genius, loved me, too, helped me gain my voice, and helped me recover from my father's death. Both had always been there for me, both loved me a lot, and both were very handsome, in my opinion.
But I could only choose one. And that one decision would determine my fate, my life, my future.
If I chose Raoul, I would be living in a large estate, with lots of money, and he would constantly shower me with gifts and love. That's Raoul for you. But I doubt he'd let me perform anymore, especially after what happened at the Palais Garnier.
If I chose Erik, I would continue living in the opera, singing whenever I wish, and even though I wouldn't be the richest girl in France, I'd be happy here, too, with my favorite phantom, angel, whatever you wish to call him.
Still, I could only choose one.
And I couldn't decide.
My heart was torn, and each man held a half of it. That didn't exactly help the decision, knowing that whoever I chose, I would still love the other.
That morning, I still hadn't decided. Raoul would be waiting for me in the opera, and Erik would be waiting for me at the organ. That left me with one choice.
I made a split decision: Raoul.
Hey, don't look at me like that! I had known Raoul for longer, he could protect me as well as Erik, and he would provide for me, too.
Only one problem.
It would hurt to have to leave Erik behind. Not only would I miss him, not only would I break his heart a thousand times over, but I knew that Raoul wouldn't let me sing anymore, not after the Don Juan incident. Could I live with no more music?
I was about to find out.
That morning, Erik was ever-so-conveniently out shopping. He left a note, saying:
Christine,
I am sorry I have left you on short notice once again. But, sadly, ink and paper do not buy themselves, and I am in need of some for my music, a song which has been named after you.
Augustine will be waiting for you on the roof this afternoon; she told me in a letter that she invited you to a picnic.
I hope to see you soon, mon amour,
~Erik
I couldn't help but cry at his words, and laugh at the thought of ink and paper buying itself. Leaving Erik was going to be hard, very hard. I decided I'd use Augustine's excuse, a picnic this afternoon, and leave with Raoul instead.
Over the course of the morning, I couldn't help but think that I was making the wrong decision by leaving Erik for Raoul. But I would feel the same way if it was the other way around, wouldn't I?
Erik returned an hour before noon. His presence always seemed to lift my spirits, as if he were still my angel of music. He still was, in a sense, but now I knew he wasn't a real angel.
Sometimes, I thought that when Father went to heaven, he asked God to send me the angel of music. I know Father did. But when an angel goes to Earth, does he stay an angel with wings? Does he become a normal human? I thought about that often, and drew to the conclusion that he was an angel, disguised as a human.
"Hello, Christine," he greeted with a smile, walking toward me. I forced a smile.
"Hello," I said.
"So, are you going to Augustine's picnic today?" he asked. "I assume you saw my note," he added.
"Yes, I got your note," I said with a smile, holding it up. "And, yes, I'm going to the picnic."
Erik smiled and kissed my cheek. I smiled back.
Until noon, Erik and I played music. He played his favorite songs, and I sang along to them. It might have been the last time I'd ever sing.
Noon came all to soon that day.
"Don't keep your friend waiting," he chuckled as I reluctantly rowed out the gates on the gondola.
"Hurry back," he added softly. I could see the genuine love in his eyes and smiled.
Don't let me go! I pleaded with my eyes. I'll never come back! I'm going off to marry Raoul, and I'm never going to see you again! Stop the boat before its too late!
He never received my warning.
~0~0~0~
Raoul met me on the roof where Augustine said we'd have a picnic. He smiled and kissed me.
"Hi," I said sadly.
"What's wrong, Christine?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said. "I'm perfectly fine."
"That's not true."
"Yes it is."
"You're lying, Christine."
"I know," I said with a smile. "It just makes me sad to leave," I explained.
"I'll miss the opera, Madame Giry, Meg, and all my ballet friends," I added after seeing the unfathomable expression in his eyes. Apparantly he thought I meant Erik.
Which I did.
A/N: Last chapter! I know, you're all sad, right? Told you that you wouldn't like the ending. Told you Christine was an idiot (but you already knew that). Epilogue is up next, then sequel!