This is the final chapter. Thanks to those of you who stuck with this story until the end. I feel like it grew into a bit of a monster since it was originally supposed to be a one-shot, and then I thought it would be 2 or 3 chapters, and now it's 10, lol. I've really appreciated the reviews, follows, and favorites; thank you so much. :)
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Olivia is standing outside the mens room with Fin and Carisi, her gun drawn, a contingent of other officers spread out down the hallway and throughout the coffee shop and around the building. The place is surrounded and the person holding Amanda hostage won't be able to get away, but she doesn't know if her detective will make it out alive.
They are going on the assumption that it is Eric in there with her, based on the physical descriptions from some of the customers and the bits and pieces of explosive arguing and yelling that Olivia had heard on the phone beforehand, but they can't be one hundred percent sure that it is him. Olivia thinks it is a pretty good theory, though, as she hears the litany of foul language from inside the mens room that is specifically referencing Amanda herself, and the occasional mention of past events at the motel. She can hear the murmur of Amanda's voice but can't make out individual words, her tone much softer than the man who is with her.
Olivia's heart is hammering in her chest as she stands rigidly outside the door, listening hard and ready to make a move at any second. The door is locked and no one has been able to get inside or talk him into coming out. It is a small, confined space with no windows, and while it's ideal because there is no way Eric is getting out of there without being caught, it is not a good thing for Amanda. They can't get eyes on her, have no idea where in the room she is situated, or if she has been injured or not. One of the customers had reported seeing the butt of a gun sticking out of the back of the man's pants so they are going with the assumption that there is a weapon involved, but they have no idea what it is happening to her and don't have a lot of control over what does. They will likely be bursting in after the fact, if things go south. She is hoping that Amanda will be able to talk her way out of there on her own, but knows the other woman is not physically and emotionally sound right now, especially after coming face to face with the man who had tormented her and injured her so grievously the week before.
She can only guess what is running through the small detective's mind right now and her heart clenches at the fact that Amanda is in there all alone, trying to stay calm and get out of there alive. They are only a door apart, but there might as well be an ocean between them at the moment.
Olivia is exhausted to begin with, having tossed and turned the night before, finding it impossible to sleep, her thoughts and emotions seemingly out of her control, unable to stop thinking about what had happened with Amanda, and then returning to work far sooner than she had expected. The day had not started out well, as there had been a new case dropped into their laps as soon as she had arrived at the precinct, a case that looked to be complicated, and she had been trying to coordinate things with Fin over the phone, concerning Amanda's care. The brief phone conversation she had with the other woman a little earlier had just made things worse, because she had been hoping Amanda had changed her mind and wanted to return to her place.
But all of that had ceased to matter when Olivia had gotten the call from Amanda's new phone, shortly after ending the previous conversation with her. She had been surprised, answering hopefully and wondering if the other woman had suddenly changed her mind, hoping that they could at least work things out, but all that had come through the speaker was chaos; yelling and scuffling and swearing. She had been immediately alarmed, trying to call Amanda's name, but getting no answer. She had gotten through to Fin right away, wondering why they weren't still together, and he had been heading back into the coffee shop at the time, and described the scene that was taking place, informing her that it looked like Amanda had been taken hostage.
Olivia and Carisi and a team of officers were en route to the location as soon as possible. When they had arrived, staff and customers had been cleared out of the shop and were milling around out on the sidewalk, talking in excited, alarmed whispers, cell phone cameras out, trying to catch some of the action. They had been directed to the other side of the road and barriers had been erected, and Olivia and the team had rushed to the back of the shop to find Fin with his gun out, talking through the locked door of the mens room. There was coffee spilled all over the floor, and Amanda's purse, sunglasses, and baseball cap scattered throughout the mess. The first thing Olivia heard was shouting from the other side of the door, and she had to swallow down the intense wave of fear she felt for her colleague and friend.
They have been here for half an hour now, and nothing has changed; they are waiting for the hostage negotiator to arrive. Olivia has tried again and again to get the man inside to talk, has even offered to switch places with Amanda, but it is very quiet now and there has been no response from him. She wipes the sweat off her brow, glancing over at Fin and Carisi; they look the way she feels and she knows it is taking everything they have to remain calm, to follow protocol, to do the best they can to get Amanda out safely. She imagines Fin feels immense guilt for leaving her alone, and Olivia is furious with him but now is not the time to focus on that. The small woman has been hurt enough, in more ways than one, over the past several days, and Olivia doesn't want any more harm to come to her. But she knows there is more damage being done even now as they stand there and wait, hoping for a peaceful resolution. Amanda is in the fight of her life right now, and she feels absolutely helpless.
A sudden shrill scream pierces through the air and Olivia is standing straight up beside the door, her back against the wall, gun at the ready and her heart in her throat. "Amanda!" she yells, staring in alarm at Fin, who is ducking down on the other side of the door, when there is absolute silence.
They all stand there for a moment, stock still, waiting with quiet trepidation, and then there is movement from inside the room. Olivia winces when she hears a loud thump and Amanda scream again, and then suddenly there is fumbling around the handle of the door and the click of a lock. Her gun is pointing straight at the door as it opens slightly, and she can't get a good look, can only hear a lot of grunting and scuffling. The door opens wider and Amanda's arm is suddenly thrusting out through the opening.
"Help me!" she gasps desperately, and Olivia grabs onto her with one hand, her other hand steady on her gun, ready to fire.
"You fucking bitch!" a male voice roars, sounding as if he is in pain, and Amanda is suddenly yanked away from her, the door flying open and a man looming there with a gun pressed against the small detective's temple.
Olivia, Fin, and Carisi are all standing there with their guns trained on him, and Olivia can see that Amanda also seems to be in pain, wincing as the gun is pressed more firmly against her head.
"Give it up, asshole," Fin says, his voice low and dangerous. "You've got nowhere else to go. Just let her go."
"Like hell," the man sneers. There is blood dripping from his nose and a deep scratch on his face, and he fixes his dark gaze on Olivia. "You want in here so badly, cunt, come on in."
Olivia locks eyes with Amanda and they stare at each other, Amanda's gaze full of panic, and she sees the smaller woman shake her head slightly.
"No," Amanda whispers.
"Put your gun on the floor and get in here," the man orders Olivia, who has no choice but to gently lay her weapon on the ground and put her hands up in the air.
"You don't have to do this," Carisi says through clenched teeth. "Let's just talk this through."
"Get in here now or I'm going to blow her brains out." Amanda's eyes are squeezed shut as if expecting the impact of a bullet at any second, and Olivia quickly steps over the threshold, heart pounding and hands still raised in the air.
She hears Fin utter a string of curse words and then the door is slammed closed behind her, locking swiftly. The three of them stand there in the sudden hush of silence, looking around at one another, and Olivia can hear Amanda's harsh breathing, quick and ragged, like she has just run a marathon. She frowns when she sees that the other woman's clothing looks disturbed, her hair mussed and a spot of blood blooming at the corner of her lip.
"Did you hurt her, you bastard?" she hisses, and the man laughs, although it is a dark sound.
"I haven't done anything to her that she hasn't wanted. Little bitch thinks she can call the shots in here, she has another think coming." He swipes a finger under his nose and it comes away coated in blood. "All of a sudden she's too good for me, and she claims I'm hurting her. Got away from me there for a minute, but now there's two of you to play with."
Olivia glances over at Amanda, and the other woman's eyes are so full of a wild, primal fear, it breaks her heart.
"You don't have to hurt her, Eric," she says calmly. "It is Eric, right? Why don't you and I just talk? She can go sit out in the shop for a minute, take a little break. She's not feeling well."
"She's not going anywhere," he snarls.
"Then maybe she can just go sit down in the corner over there, relax for a bit, while you and I chat."
"I don't want to chat," he replies, a feral smile on his face now. "I want to do other things."
Olivia's heart sinks and she tries to keep her voice steady. "Well, then you can do them with me. Leave her alone."
"Liv, no," Amanda moans, reaching for her, and Eric suddenly grabs her around the waist, pulling her away from Olivia with the gun at her head again.
"Okay, okay, just calm down," Olivia soothes, holding her hands out, heart thundering wildly and sweat beading her brow. "You're calling the shots here, Eric, not me. I'm sorry about that."
"Damn straight I'm calling the shots," he mutters, and Olivia feels a second of relief as he lowers the gun down.
Amanda is staring at her, expression terrified and her eyes pleading for a way out, and Olivia feels just as helpless as she did on the opposite side of the door.
Without warning, Eric shoves Amanda hard in Olivia's direction, and she jumps to catch the other woman before her legs give out, holding onto her trembling form and struggling to keep her from slipping to the floor. She stands there, trying to keep an eye on Eric as Amanda clings to her, her breathing so quick, she sounds like she is in the middle of a full blown panic attack.
"There you go, Amanda Rollins," he mutters. "You want to be with this bitch more than you want to be with me, your wish is my command." He grins at them, and Olivia pulls Amanda closer to her, clutching her tightly to her body and trying to shield her from Eric.
"I think the three of us are going to have a little fun," he murmurs, casually flipping the gun from one hand to the other and back again.
Olivia hears Amanda give a slight moan, and she turns her further away from him, trying to put herself between the small woman and Eric. "We aren't going to have any fun with you, Eric," she says firmly, and watches as he frowns, taking a step closer.
"What happened to me calling the shots?" he sneers, raising the gun again and aiming it at them. "You bitches are going to do what I tell you to do."
He walks right up to Olivia, slapping her hard across the face and Olivia reels back, stunned, her grip on Amanda loosening.
"Liv!" the smaller woman cries, and Olivia straightens up, her hand against her cheek and gives Amanda a reassuring look.
"It's okay, I'm fine-" she starts to say, and Eric slaps her again, more forcefully.
"Stop it!" she hears Amanda scream as she bends over at the waist, a bout of dizziness overtaking her. "Leave her the hell alone!"
"Are you going to do what I tell you?" Eric shouts, and suddenly Olivia is the one with the gun to her head, having been yanked back up to stand beside him, his hand wrapped firmly around her waist and the muzzle pressed tightly to the side of her head.
She feels an intense wave of nausea overcome her and she swallows hard, her gaze fixed on Amanda who is staring at her in horror, her entire body shaking and the blood from her lip beginning to trickle down her chin.
"Yes," the blonde woman whispers. "I'll do anything you want, anything at all. Just please don't hurt her. Please."
There is dead silence for a moment, Olivia's eyes locked with Amanda's, her cheek on fire and her head aching where the gun is being pressed so firmly.
"Good," Eric whispers, and Olivia allows herself a small moment of relief as he lowers the gun away. "I'm glad to hear that, Amanda. You've always been a handful, you know that? Such a tough little thing you are, always thinking you're the one in control."
Olivia is watching Amanda, whose gaze is no longer locked on her own but trained on Eric, her small hands clenched into fists, her breathing still coming out in sharp puffs and her skin leached white against the bruising. The other woman looks like she is about to snap and Olivia silently prays that Amanda stays where she is, that she doesn't make a move or argue.
Eric seems more calm now and he steps away from Olivia, gesturing toward them both with the gun. "Oh yeah, the three of us are going to have a good time together," he says with a smile. "Two cops, no waiting."
Olivia stands there rigidly, trying to brace herself for whatever is about to happen and ready to protect the other woman at all costs. The energy in the room is charged with tension as they both stare at him, waiting to see what he is going to do and powerless to stop him.
"Take off your clothes," he orders suddenly, pointing to Amanda.
The blonde woman glances at Olivia for a minute, not making a move, and Olivia holds up her hand, ready to argue.
Eric raises the gun again, training it on Amanda. "You said you would do anything I want. Now take off your clothes."
When the smaller woman still doesn't comply, he swings the gun around to Olivia again, cocking the trigger, and Amanda gasps, covering her eyes and looking completely overwhelmed. "Do it now, bitch."
"O-okay," she stutters, beginning to undo the buttons on her blouse.
"Eric, this really isn't necessary," Olivia pleads as she watches Amanda shrug out of the blouse, the garment falling to the floor. The shame is entirely evident on her expression, and she keeps her gaze fixed on the ground.
Olivia winces as she again sees the marks littering the other woman's body, the marks Eric had put there, and she has to bite her lip to keep the tears at bay. She doesn't think she can watch what is about to happen, doesn't think she can stand to let it happen, but doesn't know how to stop it without one or both them getting killed.
"Keep going," Eric says softly, a half smile on his face as he stares intently at the small blonde.
Amanda unzips her jeans and slides out of them, chewing on her lip, her face mottled red, and it looks like she is blinking back tears.
"Eric, please," Olivia begs, a lone tear escaping and sliding down her cheek. "Please just stop. Haven't you put her through enough already? I'll do anything you want. Just leave her alone."
Amanda is standing there silently, her head bowed, her long blonde hair hanging down over her battered face, blood streaking her chin, trembling in her bra and panties, and Olivia finds herself simultaneously wanting to rip the gun out of Eric's hand and shoot him in the face, and take Amanda into her protective embrace. The other woman is shivering violently now, and Olivia doesn't know how much more of this either one of them can take.
"Amanda, it's okay, sweetheart," she whispers, even though it can't be further from the truth. "Just look at me."
The detective raises her head and meets Olivia's gaze, and she appears hopeless and exhausted, like she is ready to give up.
"Just hold on," she mouths at her, and Amanda nods slightly, reaching up to rub one of her red rimmed eyes.
"Hmm, it's interesting the way you're so protective of her," Eric says thoughtfully to Olivia, scratching his chin. "I think I'd like to see some more of you two together."
Olivia feels dread bloom through her system, and her heart begins to pound even faster. "No," she says adamantly, feeling sick to her stomach. "I'm not hurting her, Eric. I'm not doing anything to her."
Amanda has raised her head, looking like a deer in the headlights, her gaze swinging back and forth between them and her arms wrapped around herself. She doesn't say anything, just watches them silently.
"You'll do what I tell you to do, damn it!" Eric snaps. "Stop all of this shit! Stop being so fucking argumentative about everything!"
"I won't do it!" Olivia yells, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of her face and her heart hammering intensely in chest, and she feels the gun pressing into her side. "I'm not hurting her!"
"Do what I tell you!" Eric screams, and Olivia sees a sudden flash of movement out of the corner of her eye, turning her head in time to see Amanda launch herself at them.
They crash to the ground, all three of them in a tangled mass of arms and legs, the gun falling out of Eric's hand and skittering across the floor. They all lunge for it at the same time, Eric on top of Olivia, crushing her into the ground, and Amanda whips the weapon off the floor.
"Get off of her!" she shrieks, aiming the gun straight at Eric, and Olivia feels him freeze on top of her before sliding off and getting slowly to his feet. She stands up beside him, eyes wide and out of breath, and she watches Amanda train the gun on him, her eyes locked intently onto his.
"Okay, Amanda," she gasps. "It's over."
"No, it's not," she whispers, and Olivia peers closely at her, taking in the wild look in her eyes, the quick breathing, her hand shaking so hard she can barely hold the gun upright.
"Hey, Amanda," she says softly, holding a hand out toward her. "It's over now, sweetheart. Just give me the gun and we can get out of here."
"Do you know he doesn't even remember that night, Liv?" Amanda asks, her voice hushed and ragged, a tear slipping down her cheek. "He was so high, he doesn't even remember what he did to me. I'm in hell, and as far as he's concerned, it's like it never even happened."
"If I can't remember it, then it didn't happen," Eric smirks, still cocky despite the tables being turned on him.
"Shut the fuck up," Amanda hisses, cocking the trigger.
"Okay, Amanda, you need to give me the gun," Olivia says in alarm, feeling like this situation is spinning rapidly out of control. She is standing close to the door and surreptitiously reaches out to turn the lock, making sure her voice carries. "Fin and Carisi are right outside that door, and they can come right in here and arrest him, and it'll be done. We can get out of here."
"It'll never be done, Olivia," Amanda explains softly. "Don't you know that? This is just another thing I'm going to have to live with, more nightmares, more flashbacks. He'll probably get a few years in prison and then be free to carry on with his life. It's not fair. It shouldn't be this way."
"No, it shouldn't be," Olivia quickly agrees, taking a cautious step toward the other woman. "But it also won't be fair if you're rotting in prison for the rest of your life. Don't let him win."
"He already has," Amanda whispers, and Olivia sees the way her expression shifts subtly, the glint in her eye, and instinctively knows she is going to shoot. She throws herself on top of the smaller woman just as she is about to pull the trigger. "Fin, Carisi, get in here!" she screams, as the gun slips out of Amanda's grasp and Eric lunges for it.
The door bursts open and the room is flooded with cops, Fin and Carisi yanking Eric up off the floor and handcuffing him before he can get to the gun. Amanda is shaking and moaning beneath her, and Olivia quickly sits up, lifting the small woman's limp form off the floor and pulling her into her lap.
"Hey, Liv, we've got paramedics waiting outside," Fin says softly, his hand on her shoulder as Eric is escorted roughly out of the room by Carisi. "I'll send them in here."
"Just give us a minute," Olivia replies, her voice tight and her arms wrapped around Amanda, trying to shield her from everyone crowded into the room, as the smaller woman is still in her underwear. "Get a blanket from them."
She keeps her grip tight around the other woman's shivering form as everyone clears out of the room and Fin returns with a blanket, handing it to her silently before leaving as well. Olivia gently wraps the blanket around Amanda and smooths her hand through her hair. "Honey, it's all over," she says softly, leaning down to press her cheek against Amanda's. "He's gone. You're safe."
Amanda is shaking so hard she can't even speak, and Olivia holds her tighter, rocking her in her lap like a baby. "You're safe, you're safe," she keeps repeating until the words finally seems to penetrate and Amanda looks up at her, face crumpling as she bursts into tears.
Olivia feels her own tears well up and spill over and they cry together, wrapped up in each other's arms on the dingy bathroom floor. She can feel the adrenaline leaving her in a rush and her arms tremble as she holds Amanda in her protective embrace, running her fingers through her tangled blonde hair. The relief she feels at having the other woman safe in her arms is overwhelming and she closes her eyes, her head bowed, the exhaustion overtaking her.
Amanda's head is tucked underneath her chin, the smaller woman grasping her tightly around the waist. "Thank you," she hears her murmur. "Thank you for saving me. I was going to do it, Liv. I was going to kill him."
Olivia doesn't answer but just bands her arms more firmly around Amanda, tears trickling down her cheeks and falling into the other woman's hair.
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Later that day, Olivia rests in her quiet living room with the lights off and the TV on but no sound coming through the speakers. Night is falling and she watches as the room gets dimmer, shadows lengthening in the corners. She sighs deeply, the mixture of relief and exhaustion so acute, she doesn't think she can even lift her head off of the pillow. She and Amanda had both come so close to losing their lives that day and Amanda had come so close to taking a life, and it is odd to sit here in this oasis of silence and calm, such a sharp contrast to the chaos and terror of that morning.
Amanda and Frannie are both tucked into her bed down the hall, and have been sleeping for the last couple of hours. The smaller woman had been transported to the hospital by ambulance, as a precaution, and had been released several hours later into Olivia's care. She, Fin, Carisi, and the team of officers who had taken down Eric had spent the rest of the day at the precinct, dealing with the aftermath of the situation at the coffee shop. Olivia has never been so glad to see someone behind bars. Eric is finally where he belongs, and although she knows Amanda has a very long road ahead of her, she hopes it will bring her at least a modicum of peace.
She hears her bedroom door open and there is a sudden thundering of paws down the hallway before a four-legged creature launches itself onto the couch with Olivia, bathing her face enthusiastically with her tongue, like they hadn't just seen each other a little while ago.
"Frannie, down," Amanda says tiredly, and Olivia sits up to make room for her on the couch, the dog jumping onto the floor.
"Hey there," she says softly, fixing the other woman with a gentle gaze.
Amanda is clad in a rumpled sweatshirt and yoga pants, her blonde hair sticking up in little tufts around her head, and the bruises on her face standing out in stark contrast to her pale skin. Her blue eyes are heavy with exhaustion but there is something else in her expression, and Olivia thinks it is relief, a calmness that hasn't been there for a long time.
"Did you have a good nap?"
"Actually, yes, I did," Amanda replies, sounding surprised. "It was nice to get some sleep and have some down time for awhile."
Olivia smiles at her and shifts closer to her on the couch, taking her hand gently in her own and giving it a slight squeeze. Amanda lays her head on her shoulder without hesitation and they sit there in silence for a moment, watching Frannie roll around on the floor.
"Thanks for letting Frannie and I come back here," Amanda says quietly. "Fin didn't even make a comment about playing musical apartments again."
Olivia chuckles. "The two of you are welcome to stay for as long as you like." She glances down at the other woman. "Are you okay?"
"No," Amanda replies honestly, a soft sigh escaping her lips. "But I think I will be."
Olivia opens her mouth to say something more and the other woman lifts her head to look at her.
"I don't want to talk about today, Liv," Amanda says softly, but with firm resolve. "I don't want to mention his name. I don't want to discuss anything to do with the case. There will be plenty of time for that in the coming days and weeks and months."
"Okay," Olivia murmurs agreeably, and there is silence again for several minutes.
Olivia's thoughts are whirling and she feels like so much has been left unsaid between them. She opens her mouth to speak again and Amanda is instantly fixing her with that same gaze, but this time the corner of her lip is lifting up in a slight smile.
"I don't want to talk about that either."
"About what?" Olivia raises an eyebrow.
"Don't be dense, Liv," Amanda smirks, rolling her eyes. "You know what."
Olivia looks at her thoughtfully for a moment. "Alright, we won't talk about it."
"Thank you," Amanda says with a tired sigh. "There's plenty of time to talk. But just not now. For now, let's just enjoy the peace and quiet."
"Okay," Olivia replies with a smile. "Peace and quiet it is."
"There's plenty of time to talk in the future," Amanda murmurs, laying her head back down on Olivia's shoulder.
"You're right," Olivia agrees softly, wrapping an arm around her and closing her eyes. That morning in the coffee shop, both of their futures had been so uncertain but now time seems to stretch out before them, unraveling with endless possibilities.
"We have all the time in the world."