Chapter 10
Malik grunted and tried to pull out from Altair, "Yes you are. Al Mualim will be expecting you back soon, so you have no time to be here with me…" He looked up at Altair. To be honest he did not want anyone to see him and Altair like this. It was different when they had done this at night, but the thought of anyone finding out about this made him sick to his stomach. He scowled up at Altair, "Are you deaf? I said go!" Altair frowned and dismounted quickly pulling on his pants. Malik sighed and began to get dressed struggling. Altair began to help but Malik snapped, "I need no help novice!" The younger assassin frowned and backed away.
Malik managed to get dressed and looked at Altair his eyes narrowed, "Hurry up and go. Al Mualim will be waiting for you, and I do not want him to wait long." Malik pulled his djellaba closed and struggled up using the wall as a wave of pain and pleasure ran through him. He took a deep breath fighting back a cry of pain and narrowed his eyes at Altair. Altair stepped up to Malik, "Will you miss me?" Malik sneered and pushed back him as he struggled to walk right, "No, I will not miss you. Go back to Masayf; your work is done here." He avoided looking at Altair as he walked past. Altair frowned and grabbed onto Malik's arm hard.
"You are making this difficult, Dai…" Altair said through clenched teeth. Malik turned to look at Altair and sneered, "I said go, novice!" The younger assassin crossed his arms frowning deeply, "Why do I get the feeling you are trying to get rid of me?" Malik chuckled dryly and narrowed his eyes, "Oh? I intended to make sure you KNEW I wanted you gone, and to make sure it was not just a feeling." He went behind the table and glared at Altair, "So go." Altair frowned and bowed his head, "Farewell then, Dai." Altair climbed the wall and was gone. Malik let out a sigh of relief and pain as he rubbed his eyes.
Malik roared in anger and slammed his hand down on the table, "Damn him! Damn him to Jahannam!" He bit his hand hard and tried to calm himself down. Again this had happened with Altair. He felt sick to his stomach as he thought about what had transpired. He had no idea what was going on with him, and he felt a strong sense of shame of thinking about his recent thoughts and actions. He looked up as if the ceiling had the answer to his questions. He sighed and let his head fall.
He would be lying if he said that he did not enjoy it. A part of him felt a rush and a drowning pleasure when he felt Altair grasp him and kiss him, yet he could not easily forget what Altair had done in the past. His hand clenched into a fist and he slammed it down on the table. He knew that for his great sins he would be punished when his time had come, and perhaps he would be punished if anyone did find out. His ran his hand down his face taking deep breaths. No, no one could ever find out. It would kill him if anyone knew about this.
He closed his eyes and laid his head down on the table his heart beating furiously against his chest. He could not believe how easily he was seduced and how easily he was mastered by Altair. He bit his bottom lip and his eyes opened. He said through clenched teeth, "This was the last time. Never shall I be seduced by that man again. No… I promise to you, Allah, to you Kadar, I shall never touch that man again…" Even as he said the oath, he knew he would not obey it. Altair would seduce him just as easily as he had before. Malik took a deep breath and moved away from the table.
"He is gone now," he said to himself as he tapped his chin with his index finger, "I can think now. There should be no reason that he wishes to be my lover, so this must be nothing more than a fantasy and a dream. Perhaps I have finally gone crazy." He began to pace back and forth and scratched his chin, "The real question is why I am suddenly so attracted to him? Never have I given him a second thought…" He frowned knowing he was lying to himself. He felt jealousy and rage towards the younger assassin, but never lust and desire. Perhaps something was wrong with him. He narrowed his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck.
"I… I cannot continue doing this…" Malik said after a period of silence. He closed his eyes and his arm fell limply by his side, "I enjoy it, but it not only causes physical pain, but mental pain." He scowled to himself, "This man killed my brother! This man… No, he is no man. How can anything as heartless as him be human?" He yelled out in rage and slammed his hand palm down against the table, "This man is nothing but an animal that should be sent to the slaughter! I… I hate him!" He sighed and slammed his head down and said in a quiet defeated voice, "Then why am I committing the worst sin with him? Why do I want him this way? What is wrong with me…?"