Dirty Deeds Done Squeaky Clean

"Peee-yew! Man, 'Bo, you reek!" Kon held his nose and backed away from the Czarnian.

"I do not!" Slobo raised his left arm and sniffed the pit. "I'm just a little ripe, that's all."

"Overripe, you mean," Anita said, almost gagging on the stench even though she was halfway across the room. No one had noticed at first, but then a heatwave had come over the entire Northeastern seaboard, and the A/C had been acting up at the resort all week. "When was the last time you bathed, mon?"

Slobo appeared confused by the question. "Uh…I got thrown in the ocean in that battle with the Crustacean King?" Personally, he felt Aquaman should have taken care of his own baddies, but he was always down for fraggin'.

Cassie was aghast. "That was over a month ago!"

Slobo shrugged. "So?" As long as there wasn't so much crud caked on him that no one could recognize him, what did he care? Good clean dirt smelled better than all that girly-scented soap and stuff in the locker rooms, anyway.

"So, you stink, dude," Bart said, with his usual lack of tact. He held his nose between his fingers, having discovered that vibrating in place only thinned the odor a small bit, and that it was forming a hole in the flooring besides. "And none of us can stand to be around you when you stink."

Again Slobo shrugged. "So?" He didn't really mind if the rest of the team stayed away from him. Most of them already did.

Except Anita, but she was…different. And Secret, but then she didn't have a sense of smell, which probably explained why she wasn't complaining.

Robin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Unlike Impulse, he was doing it to stave off a headache; he'd already rubbed some peppermint oil on his upper lip and was unable to smell anything except that spicy scent. Unfortunately, with the way he – along with everyone else – was sweating, he'd have to reapply it soon, and he'd be out of oil before the weekend was over. Something had to be done, and Tim knew just the thing. Turning to Superboy, he said, "Kon, do you remember that plan I mentioned to you?"

Kon's eyes lit up with a disturbing gleam of satisfaction, amusement, and plain old mischief. "Sure do, Rob."

And this was how Slobo found himself suddenly held immobile by an invisible force. Invisible, but not unnamable – Kon-El's patented tactical telekinesis. "Hey! Whaddya frails think you're doing?" he demanded.

"Getting you clean," Tim told him before he turned to Superboy. "C'mon, this way."

He and Kon led a trail of bemused and amused teammates towards the boys' showers where one spigot was already spraying down steaming water. When Kon just shoved Slobo underneath the water, Tim clucked his tongue warningly. "No, don't forget the soap."

"Soap?" Slobo spluttered through the water. He hated soap! The Top Teen did not use soap!

Slobo tried vainly to run backwards out of Kon's grip. Kon just slapped TTK manacles on his legs as well. When Slobo started to complain, his mouth got similar treatment.

Bart held up the gallon-sized jug of anti-bacterial soap. He zipped over to Slobo and sniffed cautiously of the now-wet Czarnian, then gagged. "Are you sure this's gonna be enough, Rob?"

"There's two more jugs in the closet." Robin waved to Bart, and the speedster obligingly dumped a quarter of the yellowy-green gel onto Slobo. This caused Slobo to wriggle and squirm even more, but he definitely wasn't going anywhere.

"You might want to close your eyes, dude," Kon warned him and Slobo felt the water come even closer and start to fall onto his upraised arms. The telekinetic gag was removed and Slobo growled.

"I'll get youse guys fer this!" he swore. At their laughs, he grinned inwardly. Oh yeah, he'd get 'em. And get 'em good.