Harry's Enormous Euphoric Error
"Come up and collect your unicorn manes." Snape ordered as he came in.
A few minutes after the class had retrieved the hairs, the deadline came, since adding the hairs was one of the last steps in brewing the potion.
"Times up. Get to the front with your phials containing your 'potions' immediately."
Snape took his position in the centre of the semi-circle that was rapidly forming at the front of the class. Snape directed a sneer at Potter. "Mr Potter, if you would be so kind..." he said, his hand sweeping graciously to the middle of the circle indicatively. He had went into private quarters again and had returned with a strange spherical object he had placed on a nearby table and shoved off anyone who got in front of it. He whispered "Initialis." to the mysterious object. The thing didn't animate in any visible way.
Harry gulped nervously. He went to the front as usual and took the proffered vial from Draco in just about time to not let it go crashing to the floor because Draco had released it a little too early as he was still in his dark mood. Harry swallowed the dark blue, metallic concoction in one go. The taste was surprisingly little (probably the prelude to the potion's intended purpose), maybe just swaying slightly to bitter and smelled of cough syrup.
The crowd had gone silent while the Potions master stood there in his sullenly resplendent glory.
After about fifteen seconds, the Boy-Who-Lived began giggling and swaying precariously on his feet. Hermione made to rush to her friend's aid but Snape stopped her with a halting arm; people tended to say things that weren't meant to be spoken when in states like these... and Snape wasn't going to miss out on Potter, that's for sure. Snape's smirked in relish.
Harry giggled again. "This feels so GREAT!" he screeched, bunching up his shoulders ecstatically. He appeared to be in genuine bliss. "Draco! I am – so – sorry!" Harry said through more giddy giggles, waving his palms out in order to convey his message more effectively. Draco merely raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow. A few Slytherins laughed at Harry.
"I am sorry I said you were pretty! But guess what!? You are pretty and there's nothing you can do about it!" Harry shouted elatedly. The whole class guffawed heartedly at the stupid words. Harry right on laughed with them. "You agree right?" He said, turning to one of those who was laughing and laughed together with him, nodding all the way, as if the other person was agreeing with him. That person braved a shy glance at Draco and nodded his head at Harry. Harry snickered and nodded with him.
"You'd think the way he took offence to it that it was like I was telling him he was a ten-feet mountain troll. I mean, he should be grateful, some of us have got big funny glasses and scars to compare with and he complains!?" There was no unexposed uvulae in the room. The professor looked on the unfolding scene of Harry Potter making a fool out of himself. "Maybe we should trade places and let him what it feels like to look like a piece of a hobbo's arse!" The class screamed for their desperately needed lungful of breathe as hysteria took hold of them afresh. Ron and Hermione couldn't even physically go to their friend and stop him from embarrassing himself further, they were doubled over in laughter.
Harry was laughing and smacking his thighs. "I mean look at us!" he said, glazed-over eyes going around the semi-circle. "We're fuckin' dementors, that's what we are! Some of us have warts that span our whole faces!" The kids laughed harder, fingers jabbing shakily at each other. Snape had a strange look on his face, like he was trying hard not to laugh. Several people fell to the floor, opting to bang on it. Harry put a hand over his stomach and fell down on his arse, which caused a hitch in his laughing. The fall seemed to have sobered him up a little as it looked painful, making a few people try to grimace but couldn't in the wake of mirth. Harry then slowed down to giggles, so did the rest of the class, wiping their tearful eyes dry and sniffing, a few wanton laughs escaping their lips at unexpected intervals.
After a few seconds, Harry's laugh was demoted to just a silent, lopsided smile on his face as he looked at Draco from the floor as one would the love of their life. Draco felt his cheeks flaming up at the attention and the rest of the class 'aaah'ed in admiration of Harry's affectionate smile. Harry then pointed at his chest and mouthed 'I like' and pointed at Draco, then mouthed 'you'. He laughed sheepishly at himself after that, so did the rest of the class.
Snape cleared his throat. "Well, that was certainly... enlightening." Declared the Potions professor, he had seen enough. "And disturbingly so." He harrumphed further. "Now we have to test the rest of the potions. Since I cannot have a whole class of blabbering imbeciles like the one you just witnessed here all at once, we are forced to use Potter as a test dummy, or guinea pig to be less crude, though I personally prefer the former."
Hermione felt outraged. "Sir, you cannot possibly-"
"I can and I will, Ms Granger," Snape informed smoothly. "Since the potion is quite sensitive to other potions working alongside it, its effects would be negatively affected or cease at all if one were to ingest a different potion whilst it's still working." Snape looked at Harry pointedly, who was giggling happily on his own whilst looking up dreamily the ceiling. The class laughed at him. "So if there's the slightest discrepancy in your potions, Potter will sober up almost completely. If there isn't and it's the true brew of the Euphoros or Euphoria Potion, then Potter will promptly continue in his office of 'blabbering imbecile'."
Snape's cold black pools of marble swept to Hermione's hazelnuts. "All of this has been approved by the headmaster and this potion is in the school syllabus," He said silkily to the bookworm. Hermione looked the other way, still fuming inside. She looked down at Harry. Poor, Harry, they were going to use him to test all those potions. Considering what Harry looked like at the moment, the whole testing would resemble an orderly stuffing a Down Syndrome patient with bottles of medicines. But Hermione couldn't do anything about. It was perfectly legal. Argh, these Slytherins. And they'd probably force feed him it just to show they can. Hermione nearly cried then. Harry looked so peaceful on the floor, smiling so happily-It's a 'Euphoros' potion, Hermione. I'm getting carried away. Just don't take the situation by how it looks. It may look brutal but it's not.
"Ms Patil and Mr Boot, you're up first." Snape ordered.
Parvati Patil approached Potter like he was some mental patient. She smiled with him and giggled a little before coaxing the mixture through his lips.
"Parvati and Boot, what do you reckon?" Hermione asked secretly Ron through the side of her mouth, a trait she had learnt after having to bail Harry and Ron out of numerous occasions when the Potions Master asked them direct questions.
Ron weighed them up. "Slytherin and Hufflepuff, Patil- good, Boot- probably mediocre. So, I say fine," Hermione nodded in acknowledgement of the reassurance.
Harry looked conflicted for a few seconds, before his goofy smile came back. The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs sighed in relief; one more person who didn't scramble the Golden Boy's brains up.
"Mr Flinch-Fletchey and Mr Finnigan." Snape summoned.
"Hufflepuff and Gryffindor – all's good mate. No worries," Ron said without being prodded. Their potion elicited no different reaction from Harry.
"Ms Granger and Mr Longbottom." Snape smirked at them.
Hermione tentatively approached Harry who still staring into the ceiling with a content smile. "Here, Harry, try this, it doesn't taste bad." There were a few who booed at her soft method.
Harry paused for a second, and then put on his lopsided smile back on again. Hermione exhaled in relief.
"Mr Weasley and Ms Buldstrode." Snape's cold voice came out.
Ron gulped nervously. What if he betrayed his friend and made him a permanent dunderhead!? Ron slowly approached Harry, the clasped phial shaking in his hand. "Harry," he gulped. The Boy-Who-Lived turned to him and smiled. Ron went down to his knees. Harry made fun of his wild red hair by ruffling it and everybody laughed at him. He didn't care, his whole attention was fixed on Harry. And chances were his that their potion was wrong. Why didn't he work harder at it!? He didn't know it was Harry who was going to drink it. He couldn't care less if the subject was a Slytherin or maybe even Snape himself! "Here, drink this." he said to the other boy. Harry took it without hesitation, since he had done this before, and drank up. Ron prevented him from spilling all of the phial into his mouth.
Ron waited with bated breathe for his friend's reaction. Harry snapped out of it. "What the hell is going on?" he asked dreamily.
Snape's triumphant voice cut through the air. "Mr Weasley and Ms Bulstrode fail the assignment as you can see, Potter is no longer euphoric. Zero, Mr Weasley. Now get out of my sight." Snape proceeded to call more pairs up but used a different guinea pig; Harry had done enough, according to Ms Granger. Snape glared at her for her interference but called out a different name to take to the front and swallow potions. Today was just Snape's day wasn't it. I mean, he was enjoying Harry making a fool out of himself and if that stopped, he would then enjoy awarding the person that caused it a zero. It was a double treat! This infuriated Hermione more than anything else.
After the period had ended, Hermione dragged her two friends and stomped out of the class.
"I cant' believe that man!" she hissed in the hallway.
Ron nodded fervently in agreement. "That slimy git. You should have seen him Harry, he was smiling all the way. Fuckin' Slytherins! Hermione, we're going straight to Dumbledore!"
Hermione's nod was less confident that it should've been. "Yeah, it couldn't have been right,"
"What happened?" Harry asked, royally confounded.
"Don't worry, Harry, we will have Snape fired before he can say 'greasy git'!" Ron said.
"What did he do? I don't really remember, it's all fuzzy," Harry asked both of his friends in trepidation, Hermione specifically because Ron looked incensed and was probably going to just spew curses and insults.
"You don't have to remember anything, Harry, Ron and I have this covered,"
"Just tell me!" Harry yelled.
Ron hesitated a little, but answered after noticing the glare from Harry. "He was making you drink the others guys' potions to see if they worked. And Harry, you looked so... happy and dumb and Snape just didn't care, he called group after group to come and feed you the potion. I'm sorry, Harry," Ron then brightened, "But my potion was the one that snapped you out of it!" he said proudly. It fell just as quickly. "I got zero for it..."
Harry absorbed all this silently, and ignoring the concerned look from Hermione. He grimaced.
"I didn't make a full out of myself, did I?" he lamented to ask the two.
Ron averted his gaze and started to whistle. Hermione took out her light reading material and began reading religiously.
Harry's groaned. "I did. Whatever it is, don't tell me."
Before lunchtime, the incidents in the Potions room had spread throughout the entire school.
The day was characterized by gaping mouths and incredulous gasps. In the Great Hall at lunch, the chatter was alive and buzzing off the roof. When he entered the large room he was met with a lot of giggles and blatant finger-pointing as he traversed the length of the Great Hall to his seat. Harry sat down in his chair with a scowl and started packing his plate. Nobody said anything directly to him but it was evident that the major subject of the gossip was him.
Even though he had been under a Euphoros potion, Draco couldn't get the picture of a happy and smiling Harry miming 'I like you'. It brought up a smile to his face every time without his permission. He was so cute! Those green eyes, full of contentedness and giddiness, beaming up at him so adoringly. Draco smiled as he ate his omelette, not being able to contain himself. To be the sole receiver of such idolization was overwhelming for him. Potter's euphoric glee had been contagious, making the Potions class giggle excitedly and shooting glances at Draco that clearly conveyed that they couldn't believe Harry was looking at Draco Malfoy like that. Draco also thought it probably seemed unnatural but he wasn't minding! Even his biggest admirers didn't look at him like that.
"Draco! Snap out of it, you look no better than Potter did in Potions!" Pansy remonstrated disdainfully from beside him. Draco's smiled promptly dropped and he fancied Pansy with a glare. If only she knew how close she was. Pansy shook her head and continued to eat her lunch.
"Draco you seriously bummed out this time, man. And to think you had done it in one night to be have to forced to do it now for Merlin know how long!" Blaize laughed. Draco couldn't bring himself to sulk for show but he did make Blaize to hiccup when he gave him a quick elbow to the ribs.
"Ow!" Blaize hissed indignantly.
"What did Draco do when he drank the potion?" Harry asked Ron and Hermione excitedly, readying himself to have a good laugh.
Ron's spoon became paralyzed in mid-flight to his mouth. "Er, well, he didn't drink it," Ron admittedly uneasily.
Harry had an inkling about that. Dammit. "Okay, I'm feeling braver now after my shepherd pie, what did I do when I was under the potion's effects?" he asked.
Ron shifted uneasily in his chair. Hermione started nodding to some random words from Seamus, whose mouth was rapping in all directions, which worked to her advantage; there was no specific person one might surmise Seamus was talking to.
"Guys?" Harry said in a low growl.
"No need to get forceful, Potter," came a familiar, cold, sneering voice from behind. The table hushed at the appearance of the Potions master. "You will be able to view your... actions when I expose you to the entire school," Snape lilted smoothly. "Of course this is for educational purposes as it will be used to highlight the stupidity one assumes when dealing with such a potion as a warning to anyone who might try to brew it." With that, he stalked off with a malevolent smile, mumbling something about that being the day he lived for or some sort as he went out of the Great Hall. Snape had been discussing the 'visual warning' with Professor Dumbledore at the beginning of lunch, and when he heard Potter inquiring on what he had been doing, well, he couldn't resist. Dumbledore had sportingly agreed to it.
Hermione gasped. "That is what it was!"
The table turned to the bushy-haired girl. "The thing Snape put on the table when Harry was... was under the spell of the potion. It was probably some video device of some sort,"
Most of the kids at the table frowned. Harry had an enlightening moment and had a look of dread.
"A video is a Muggle device that captures visual input. So that means Snape visually recorded Harry and is going to show it to the rest of the school." Hermione informed the others. Harry started banging his head on the table, Ron rubbing his back comfortingly. His fellow housemates shot commiserating looks at him briefly before continuing with their chatter, their conversations entertaining the possibilities that would arise if they were to possess this amazing-sounding Muggle device called the 'vidio'.
"I'm going to Draco," Harry declared, scraping his chair to sit up.
"What, why?" Ron said in panic.
"Because I want to," Harry replied tersely.
"Why is Potter coming here?" Pansy asked with a disgusted grimace.
Draco looked up and a smile escaped his conscious volition, adorning itself on his coral lips. Harry returned it as he walked up to the table.
"Potter," Blaize sniffed haughtily at the Gryffindor as soon as he had arrived.
"Zabini," Harry said dispassionately.
"Don't mind him, he's just jealous I got you before before he did," Draco assured him. Blaize fell into a fit of coughs. He beat his chest and stomped his foot, but to no avail. Harry and Draco laughed at him. Pansy remained silent and just ate her lunch quietly, a hint of a smile on her lips.
"Were you needing something?" Draco finally asked when Blaize had seemed to calm down somewhat.
"Er... I wanted to know what I did when I was in euphoria land," Harry said bashfully.
"You tell me what Snape said when he was at your house table first," Draco countered, always the Slytherin.
Harry blushed. God, now his question would sound so stupid, "Oh well, he just told us that he was going to... reveal what I did at Potions through some magical device,"
Draco suddenly realized. "Oh, that was what that thing was. He refused to tell even me. Well, then I don't have to tell you now then, do I?" Draco said, raising his eyebrow patronizingly.
Harry felt the heat rush to his face again. "I want to hear it from you,"
It was Draco's turn to blush. "Oh." he said most eloquently. "I think I would be impartial in telling the story so let's just wait for Snape to reveal it, shall we?"
Harry's face hardened. "What did I do, Draco?"
"Potter, I think you have overstayed your welcome," Pansy spoke up, not liking the tone in which Potter was addressing her Dracie.
"I think I didn't ask for your opinion," Harry shot back heatedly. Pansy's eyes narrowed at him.
"Who cares what you think, Potter!?" Blaize said.
"There, there, Pansy, Blaize. Harry is always welcome to our table, is he not?" Draco asked her friends.
"Of course," Came the insincere replies after a stubborn second.
Draco exhaled imperiously. "In short, you said you liked me and insulted everybody around you, not in any particular order,"
Harry's mouth dropped. "I what?" he stammered out.
Draco wasn't going to answer that and Harry knew it. Blaize rolled his eyes and Pansy pursed her lips and sighed exasperatedly.
"Shit." Harry cursed under his breathe, his shoulder slumping in defeat. A few quiet moments passed. "Well, I guess I'll see you around,"
"Of course." Draco smiled at him and waved goodbye.
"You are the most short-sighted people I have ever met," Draco hissed at his friends ignominiously. Pansy and Blaize at least had the decency to flush at their humiliation, though for a reason they were yet to know. At least Draco could have the decency of saying that when not so many other Slytherins were listening in! They both glared away the amused looks they were receiving, so many were interested in the golden, or should it be said, silver words of the Slytherin Ice Prince. "Imagine the favours we could gain if I were associated with him, amicably." His friends looked satisfactorily contrite and chastened, so Draco just sighed disgustedly and left it there.
At dinner, Snape wasted no time in announcing Harry's demise. There was a new brightness in his eyes that no one had ever witnessed before. "Your attention, please." The Potions professor bellowed as he stood up from the High Table. Everybody knew that that 'please' wasn't there actually, including Dumbledore. The bustling noise hushed down immediately and all turned to the sallow man in front. Snape went around the High Table and stood in front of the entire hall after placing a mysterious looking object on top of a stool in front of the four tables.
"In our fifth year Potions classes today we were brewing the Euphoros Potion. As you can derive from the name, this concoction allows one to enter a state of euphoria. The effect is similar to that of some well known opiates, and it is for this reason that I have organised this little warning about the consequences of ingesting such a potion," His black pools floated to Harry's emeralds dazzled by trepidation. "you make a fool of yourself." he finished.
Then he turned towards the rest of the hall. "Those of you who will ignore this warning and go ahead and illegally brew the potion, then perhaps the unfavourable side-effects will deter you which include constant nausea, constipation and head ache. Now," Snape's eyes flashed and a cold smirk curved his pale lips. "our resident famous celebrity, Harry Potter, was chosen as a test dummy to test the authenticity of the numerous potions made by his fellow classmates. Sincerely, with the greatest pleasure I present to you: Potter's Potions Poop up. Enjoy." Professor Snape smirked malevolently, then whispered something under his breathe which immediately elicited a white spherical light from the purple object on the stool. The 3D light grew until it until its radius was exactly ten metres.
Hushed whispered littered the four house tables but were cut off when Snape whirled around and shot them a withering glare. The Potions professor then slowly turned around again and went back to his seat, leaving dead silence behind him. Professor Dumbledore waved his hand and all the candles died.
The purple magical object was centred in the sphere. The scene was set in a Potion's classroom. Many students were gathered at the front of the class, with Potter in the middle looking around nervously. There were some confused faces amongst the kids watching the 3D 'video', not knowing what to make of it. Then, the screen-Harry took a potion from screen-Malfoy who looked as resplendent as ever in his long platinum blonde hair and pale unmarred face. Screen-Harry imbibed the proffered potion and then starting giggled lightly. Some students both in the 'video' and in the hall started giggling at him as well. Real-Harry felt his cheeks blaze. He continued to watch his damnation through long eyelashes. Draco, at the Slytherin house table was sitting unamused, hands and legs crossed over each other.
Screen-Harry giggled again. "Draco! I'm-so-sorry!" He squealed.
After the show, the Great Hall was howling with laughter. Even McGonagall's lips were quirked upwards a little, which was as close to a smile as she gotten that evening. Soon after the hysteria had died down, the Hall started to clear gradually. Harry didn't talk to anybody until he was in the safe confines of his dorm room. Of course he wasn't so lucky as to escape the boisterous jeers the Slytherins threw at him and the Hufflepuffs' insufferable giggling. He wanted the night to be over as quick as possible.